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To all GME holders: Shut up and listen
This text was originally posted in Mauerstrassenwetten by u/knutolee. I thought his message was so powerful that I asked him for permission to translate, post (can share chat with Mod if required or check directly with him) and fuck his wife (ok didn’t ask for permission) after and he agreed to all most of this wholeheartedly – like a true Autist. I am trying to catch the message – so don’t expect a word by word translation as you can never catch the greatness of the text in it’s entirety and I got to translate it in a way that even a US degenerate can follow it. As usual no financial advice, I more or less just copied the text because I liked the text and I like the share. In general I have likely lost more than I won and the stock market is a mystery in itself to me. So make your own due dilligence and don’t trust financial advice of others (the argument for that you can read to a certain extent below). Autists, Degenerates, Idiocracy of the World – let me get this straight! In the coming days I don’t wanna see all this whining and bitching on this sub and espescially in the daily GME threads anymore. On every fucking corner of this sub I smell doubt, you read messages the likes of „this is over“, „we missed the squeeze“, „I am going to loose it all“, „entered at 320$ - I am doomed“. What the fuck is wrong with you retards, did you fucking wanker your wifes boyfriend dick all night and lost your mind over the effort to do so? I think I got to get this accross the Buddy Stephens way to get you down to fucking earth and get your attitude right. 1) You come to a sub calledwallstreetbetsand yolo your hard earned money in $GME You realize what you are doing here - you true fuck - dont you? This is a community of full blown first class true tits up degenerates which take pleasure in posting losses accumulating into the millions every fucking month and you are putting your money into a BET – yes my dear it is written out in the name of this very fucking sub Wallstreet-B-E-T-S!!! – and follow DD posted by people with names like „SHOW_ME_YOUR_ANAL_TITS“? You realize this is not a fucking Disney ferry „One-Wish-comes-true“ show and we see all day long gain porn and loss porn is something which doesn’t exist in this world? This is a band of true autists which occupied an absolute niche when it comes down to trading (and we even don’t trade stocks normally!). This is the place where one wants to enjoy the sado-masochistic part of the retarded capitalistic system we are living in. Yes we have some (maybe a lot) DD diamonds in this sub which by the way are now impossible to find because you degenerate fucks spam the entire system to the moon but no sane long-term investor would consider to invest into any of these investments – this is about „get rich or die trying!“. This is not investing! 2) Yeah but I saw Reddit in the news and all that stuff about GME and it was going through the roof becasue there is going to be short squeeze and on top of it the hedge funds fucked up, hihihi If this entire thing was a safe bet why exactly would not the fucking entire world jump on this train? (and even you might get this image from all this „Saudi Arabia calling, China calling, Africa calling posts – but please they invest into BABA, Aramco or I don’t know what’s the hot shit in Lagos stock exchange right now – could be though the next big thing – got to see if I can find a DD on this). So why is this not happening? Because it is a fucking BET – the stock market is a fucking Casino and the major difference between investing and us is that they are always just bet on black or red, while we always go for the magical zero. It is totally unclear whether all of us going to show up at Miami Beach with our Porsche Cayenne or Tesla Model S and hit on the girls (or boys) on the beach! The reasons are layed out to you every fucking day with yet another quality DD that most of us simply dont understand! And yes our chances to already sit on the fucking moon slurping our Pinha Coladas would be certainly higher if everything was going the way we believe the system should be working but even the last person who joined this sub by now should realize – you are potentially fucking with the system itself (by the way something this sub never intentionally wanted and you shouldn’t do if you like the system). 3) Hey but when is the squeeze of the squoze going to happen? 😓 So there is this story going through the media and from Florida to Colorado everybody remotely degenerate is yoloing money into GME. It’s a fucking global movement now (or not – could be also the same 50.000 degenerates cheering up themselves the entire time which would much better fit this place) and according to the DD we just need to have 🙌💎and the shorts a bleeding their panties, their balls feel squozen (and not in a good way) and they are completely in defensive mode. What do you think what people who are responsible for Multi-billion $$$ HF are going to do? How do you think you become a person who is responsible for such an operation? Do you think these guys have served as altar boys or girls in church (no offense if so)? What is wrong with you? Seriously! Do you think if they get some headwind they are going to say: Oh boy – we got defeated and going to realize a multi-fucking-billion-to-the-moon loss? OF COURSE FUCKING NOT!THEY WILL GET EVERY FUCKING BAZOOKA, TANK, ROCKET or INTER-STELLAR DEFENSE SYSTEM IN PLACE TO BRING THIS TO AN END! Influence the market participants (speculation), Short-Laddar attacks (I to this very day haven’t understand the concept or how this works – speculation), demotivational tactics (speculation) and to whomever picks it up – desinformation (well not quite speculation but it could also be that media is just retarded as fuck to get the most simple facts straight). So what would you do with a potential group of 5mn small-size investors – shall we do a collective effort to think about it? Ah fuck it! It is to fucking obvious – you would dry this out through time, divide their interests and drive away their attention. Because let’s be fucking honest – most of you entered this thinking you would hold this wonderful stock for a couple of days (and to be honest in this respect the community how it existed 10 days ago was much more true to itself - no whining just sayin)! Gotcha! Who can tell me who fucked each other two weeks ago in People magazin or on Twitter? Nobody – I even don’t remember shit about this very forum before GME (ok I remember u/variation-separate but that is another story). And all their tactics are completely understandable because there is a fucking huge amount of tendies to be made and they are not that different from us (my fear). 4) That does not give you the fucking right to whine and bitch all the time in the daily threads (and it is not happening already its going to be) and fucking ruin the party Deal with it – we just got to wait how this thing plays out. That’s it. If we are right – this will play out positively in one or another way (huge tendies or SEC investigating). Let them continue shorting the stock or whatever. If you believe you want to buy more stock – do your DD and do it. When this got picked up a long time ago by people they thought – hmmmm makes sense – I am going to get me one of these tickets to the moon. There was if at all a very little interest to squoze the balls of any HF and it was certainly not the main motivation of this sub. I said it above: Get rich or die tryin! Since last Thursday the whole thing became political and it looks like rules were changed in our disfavour and yeah we can not go back in time but we got to deal with it and the circumstances. [Left out this part as it promotes holding and buying which I don’t want to in the sense that everybody needs to make his own fucking decision but I am going to fucking hold] but WE NEED TO REGAIN OUR POSITIVE SPIRIT which was an essential part of this sub and GME for most part in January (and of course in general before) – no matter how fucked up things looked (individually as there is not such a thing as collective alignment to buy options or stocks on this forum). We will see how the numbers are play out and who provided the adequate picture. In our reality GME is going to the moon and the 🚀 is fueled. Period. We are just prevented from starting because of the windy conditions out there. So please – no post without 🙌💎🙌💎🙌💎🚀🚀🚀 and if you want to fukn leave the party – leave – but let us continue this party, because we are going to the fkn moon. This is the way and I fkn love GME and if this means I need to hold onto this beauty for another 25 years I am going to do it. P.S.: One thing dear to my heart - in the past there has been huge donations made by this community to people living with autism. As we use their names every fkn day I would really like to see some of your degenerates not to forget about this cause because we owe them and as much as I like the billboards I’d rather see every $$$ go into charities rather then telling the world about us – I think everybody out there knows by now that we exist and that we have 🙌💎 Edit: Nobody asked for it but 35@231,69 and thanks for the awards which should go to u/knutolee - so you can simply award his original post referenced. More importantly he expressed to me that he is very happy with the translation which is almost as important as the message itself. Edit 2: Please pay attention to AMA Marc Cuban - https://www.reddit.com/wallstreetbets/comments/lawubt/hey_everyone_its_mark_cuban_jumping_on_to_do_an/ - there is I think some quite enlighting answers in a very easy to understand language. Edit 3: Bought 5@103 Edit 4: Heading for dinner. Crazy times. Will check later and decide whether to buy more tickets or not. But maybe good advice for some others to make a break. Chillax :) Edit 5: Read that RH has opened up GME again. For whatever it's worth 🚀 Edit 6: Thanks again for all the Awards and stuff. I can only reload in the morning. Was fun and maybe I am going to translate more in the future - if mods would consider to give me a copy cat 😺 flair it would be the icing on the cake. Edit 7: Obligatory salute to the one and only DFV and his 💎 balls. This guy will go all the way to the 🚀 with us.
How a short/gamma squeeze on Tilray is causing the ENTIRE cannabis market to moon and how to avoid becoming a bag holder when this all comes crashing down
Obligatory: SIR, THIS IS A CASINO. This isn't financial advice in any way shape or form. TLDR: This run is going to end with the cannabis stocks back down 50-80% or more from the levels they are at. $CRLBF is the real play here for the smart players that want USA exposure to the legislation. We just like the stocks now, not later. Ok, listen up normies. Yeah I'm talking to the newbies specifically because the OGs here already know everything I'm about to share, but your insufferable groupthink and movement mentality shit pissed me off enough to make a post. Don't post DD if you have no clue. Ask someone for help and take your ridicule until someone comes along to help you. I used to post weekly DD on Sunday here a couple of years ago before one of you literally contacted my wife IRL. Not even kidding. So I made a new account. This is my first contribution back and I'm going to try and ensure some of you don't blow your chance at massive gains here by explaining what is actually going on. CNBC and anybody telling you that this is just 'momentum' and 'sentiment' is lying to you. The hedge funds are playing these right along with us. Don't ask me for proof, this isn't Twitter. Reasons why they are playing with us:
When there is money to be made, hedge funds and HFT funds are there before you
The floats are so small on these they can take sizable positions on both sides and stand to have massive gains, all the while handing you guys the bags.
That's all you need to know. So in response to all you posting "real DD" with why these companies are the best and you're going to hold to the moon and never sell: I'm over it -- I can tell instantly how uninformed you are when I read some poorly thought out DD about why CGC or TLRY or APHA is a long term play because they're talking about USA legislation. These are Canadian companies. Get your head back on straight. You're here for the trade and the bet, not for the fundamentals, and if that's it, then fine, ignore the rest of this post and pick an exit, and if not, read on so you don't hold more bags. This place has never been one to care for fundamentals, but let me talk some sense into you so you can post some gain porn and I can tell you to fuck off instead of you guys all yelling "MaNiPuLaTiOn ShOrT LaDdErS" Let's take a look at some of today's gainers: (changed tickers for automod avoidance) $USMJay - Penny stock, worth absolute nothing for a reason $SNDL - Up ridiculous amount, have a billion shares outstanding, just diluted them all the other day $TeeRTeeC - Terra Tech, they grow weed, from all indications, do it poorly $OhGeeEye - lol $HUGE - Probably the only one in the lot worth a YOLO on the chance they get an acquisition like GW Pharma did but they don't have the same product portfolio or prospects GW has. Now, if you're simply playing this to get in and get out, great for you. The people saying (and believing) "$SNDL $10 EOW! HOLD THE LINE" and stuff like this are just absolutely brand new normies and are clueless, do not listen to them. If you yolo'd on cheap calls in Dec/Jan, congrats, take your gains and don't be like the $GME bagholders. If you're investing in any of the names I just posted above, expect any money you put in to at some point in the next 12 months be worth approximately 20% of what it is worth now. Literally. They're far worse than the main bunch (CGC, CRON, ACB, TLRY, APHA) but the main bunch is nothing to write home about either.
THIS IS WHAT IS REALLY HAPPENING:
Tilray had 40% short interest. It's not $GME level, but it's pretty high. When the stock crested $40 it really started taking off, why though? Notice this week's FD option chain: https://preview.redd.it/kyqeiwljeug61.png?width=917&format=png&auto=webp&s=0c1b48e12518515f09582289bd7f8a4f47a09629 Tilray has a 95M share float, those 42 calls represent roughly 1.5M shares held as a hedge just by themselves. Previous to this run up, that represents roughly 5% of the average daily volume of the stock, BY ITSELF. Those are shares that until Monday can be considered removed from the float because they're held as a hedge. They may get loaned out to be shorted, but that will only speed up the squeeze here. The important part: Today (2/10/21) the stock fell hard after open down to around 44 and found massive support all the way back to up 66. The most sold front week call? $40/$42 strikes. Premium when I screen shotted this? $22.20. Stocks going to pin above $60 for awhile likely, unless people are stupid enough to buy the OTM calls, in which case, it may squeeze itself higher. Smart hedge funds are going to pile into this, sell you the calls, shove the price up to keep selling you calls, then watch them all evaporate worthless in one of the future weeks in the chain, dump back the shares to help shove the price down, oh and did I mention? They shorted the top. https://preview.redd.it/ivy78woneug61.png?width=392&format=png&auto=webp&s=0604940c09126dc6d5b96a9cc5f17e4013ae5d9d It's just another plain old stock acting as a derivative of the option chain gamma squeeze. That's it, with a bit of short squeeze thrown in there and a WHOLE BUNCH of WSB fomo. The shorts are covering and pushing up the volume, likely re-shorting on the way up, and then you have WSB fomo'ing in to round out the total: a massive volume of 200 million shares today. You've got people that think this thing will skyrocket to 500+ (and it may) but the stakes get higher and higher each ladder up you take and the moves become more violent and more likely it comes all the way back down in short time the quicker it goes up. Might it get there? Sure. But be prepare to take profits when it does because...
ITS CALLED MEAN REVERSION. THIS CANT GO ON FOREVER.
Not to mention, the moves you are seeing are in completely overvalued companies, with horrible fundamentals, and poor prospects. Oh what's that? CGC got some CBD treats for Martha, seems fitting that something ill is going on in this industry considering she went to prison for insider trading. If the dog treats get you excited about the stock, Martha belongs here more than you do. 200M shares today means people who were long term bag holders cashed out and the shares have turned over the float two times in two days. That also means the shorts have turned over and are now short again. It means the HFT firms are feasting on all of you. It means Citadel is making a pile on the spreads. What to take away: An amount of shares equal to the entire float has changed hands, or in other words, fewer reason for people to bag hold. Fewer people that have to hedge. Fewer people that have to cover. Fewer people to help stabilize any of these upper price tiers, and keep the price stable by holding, and more reason it's going to collapse sooner (or later). But, this IS a casino after all...
Let's see what happened with TLRY last time this happened (oh, you're new here? Yeah, this isn't the first time):
https://preview.redd.it/p652mvgreug61.png?width=587&format=png&auto=webp&s=d95f2b0ccf946717859bffb28601dfd29e999e0b Looks eerily familiar to something else recently. Last time this occurred it traded between $100 and $300 in a single week timeframe. For those of you that are new: THIS IS NOT NORMAL. STOCKS DO NOT ALWAYS DO THIS. You are in the infancy of a new age of trading, but people still know, fundamentals matter a whole lot more than everyone is leading on, and these valuations are getting extremely overextended. Eventually, in the first squeeze Tilray bled off until the pandemic hit and it piled down to $2.43 a share. At $2.43/share, I would have bought it. Even at $10/12/14. At these levels? You're just ultimately out of touch but I look forward to the loss porn. So in short, again: Sir, this is a casino. Timeline of events, and how to not become a bagholder:
$APHA earnings are good, stocks pop a bit, and level off
Legislators pull a pump and dump since they probably have calls and say planning on some laws regarding changing the schedule of cannabis (notice: we will likely NOT get outright legalization, just re-scheduling)
$CGC earnings are actually awful, with the caveat they have profitability on the horizon
$TLRY gets a UK deal
$TLRY starts going insane - since $APHA is a reverse merger with a .81 value share to share, it starts pumping, people start buying the lower priced cannabis stuff and entire sector starts moving on "overall strength"
There's no strength, there's a gamma squeeze backed by investor momentum, and a short squeeze on Tilray.
This is going to come back down violently then plateau out like GME and pull a slow bleed the rest of the way back down, just like the second graph I posted. There is no fundamental or even POSSIBILITY of better fundamentals immediately on US legislation. The cost to enter the US market will most definitely cause capex and goodwill capital outflows, and set back their profitability since there are established MSO's in the USA already. The USA opening the market to these companies will only further degrade the actual balance sheets/income statements and slow down profits and you know what institutions and shareholders like? Yep. Profits.
Finally, how to not become a bag holder: The market can stay irrational way, way, way longer than you expect. So this may go on for a bit, but refer back to 7. It's coming back down eventually, set expectations and pick your exit, or start to shave off your position as it goes up and let a portion of it run. Eventually, you have to sell to actually realize a gain, don't forget that. Once you do, close the chart, remove it from your watchlist, check back in on it in a month if you want to get back in when you have a clear head.
The Canadian operators are literally the last companies I'd play off a US legislation play, and one of the only ones worth owning in $APHA for the arbitrage play on the shares. But if Tilray comes crashing back down, $APHA will as well along with all of them, and you have to hope you lose a lot less on $APHA crashing than you'll make on the arbitrage between the share price. THIS IS ALL JUST "SENTIMENT" BASED YOLOING BY THIS SUB. It has probably driven uneducated retail into the trades also - who will also become bag holders. Let me put this in big letters for those of you that can only read big font and use crayons:
NONE OF THESE COMPANIES HAVE REAL USA MARKET EXPOSURE, THEY ARE CANADIAN COMPANIES. THEY DO NOT HAVE MARKET POSITIONING AND ARE NOT POISED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF US LEGALIZATION.
IF ANYTHING: IT WILL HURT THEIR BOTTOM LINE AND SET BACK EARNINGS BECAUSE OF CAPEX AND CASH OUTFLOWS TO GET A POSITION IN THE MARKET AND SOME OF THEM WILL GO OUT OF BUSINESS BECAUSE OF IT, WHILE OTHERS WILL FALL OUT OF PROFITIABILITY TO ENTER THE MARKET AND COMPETE WITH THE REAL PLAYERS. Who are the real players? (Cresco $CRLBF and Curaleaf $CURLF- do your own DD or wait for a post next week\***************)* Conclusion: Nobody should plan on holding these long term. Don't let someone else hand you bags like I did this morning at open on the pop unless you plan to hand your bags off and find the next play. You likely will not time the top. Pick a place you're ready to exit the trade, exit the trade or slowly shave your position, close the graphs and don't fomo back in. Just be done with the trade afterwards. You're likely not a cannabis multi millionaire and will not be one, unless you were loaded to the brim with low cost calls from last summefall or unless you literally yolo'd $10M into one of these a few weeks ago, and in that case, you belong here, congrats on your gains and fuck you. THIS IS A SECTOFOMO SQUEEZE. AND IT WILL END. THIS IS NOT SENTIMENT AND CNBC IS TROLLING US WITH IT LIKE WE HAVE THE POWER. And if you think WE are the ones driving the price up, the hedge funds are definitely watching and playing and they can bring these down at will at almost any time they want. You're holding a lit molotov, the only question is: will you throw it before it blows up? The rest of you? Plz fuck off with you 20 shares @ $2 on Sundial, fuck off with the "HOLD THE LINE SNDL $10 EOW", fuck off with your fomo, and fuck off with the "movement" and "lets push this to the sky" stuff and most importantly don't post DD if you have zero clue what is going on. You know what "lets push this to the sky" sounds like? Market manipulation. We're not in this together, I literally handed one of you a bag to hold this morning and even if they go up for another month, eventually, that bags gonna be heavy and I ain't coming back for it. I ain't tipping you either. These prices are insanely high for these companies. The multiples are out of control, and if you buy in at these levels, well, best of luck, I hope it works out for you. I'm fighting the fomo of extended gains, and will continue to put my money elsewhere.
SIR, THIS IS A CASINO.
Positions: I had the meme stocks like you literally all of them minus ACB and CGC. I took gains and bought 500 shares of Cresco prob increasing to 1,000 tomorrow, and kept the rest off the table to pay my wife's boyfriend's rent. Disclaimer: I have Tilray puts I'm prepared to average down on and diamond hand like a real boss because this is coming back down. Edit: You know what I forgot to add? Some of the biggest holders, the cannabis ETFs and funds, you know what they did today? They trimmed their positions. And they will continue to do so because of fiduciary responsibility and when you de-concentrate shares into the retail's hands, the moves will get more and more finnicky and more and more violent. Edit 2: Some normie tried calling me out like I never saw this trade coming or am a hedge shill, https://imgur.com/a/asAVkiC - I had thousands of shares, these are just the trades from this month, and I'm not advocating a buy, I sold mostly all of them this morning except for adding Cresco back in. You want the gain numbers? You do the math, I'm not your math tutor, I sold like 6 minutes after open for most of them. I have Tilray puts for next week and will be buying a few months out at various strikes as it continues to climb. Yeah, I think these are coming back down in price sooner rather than later, that isn't extraordinary information for a common sense person. Edit 3: I'm getting piles of messages from people who used to follow my DD back in 2018/2019. Yes, it's the real SoRefreshing, proof:https://imgur.com/a/Pn5LqCe Edit 4: Eh don't request me with "What should I do with XX" be a big adult grown up and decide your own risk tolerance and exits. I responded to the first 10 or so. Now I have 100. I can't. I disabled chat messages. Edit 5: jesus with the awards go buy TSLA calls this is WSB not fb/twtr disclaimer: have TSLA calls Edit 6: Oh look, they're pinning it around the $42 strike. Go figure.
Host or participate in Heists - Min. Level 1 / to participate; Min. Level 12 / or own a high-end apartment to host
I'm a millionaire already, just give me a grind:
CEO Import/Export Vehicle Work by Psychko - Currently most reliable and profitable money grind with high end only method - Min. Level 1 / if you already own a CEO office / if you do not own a CEO office
Do an I/E sourcing mission, then do VIP work (Headhunter or Sightseer are a breeze with a Buzzard) in the cool down, then do an I/E delivery mission. Rinse and repeat!
Earn 2000-3000RP per source delivery, 5000RP per sale delivery. Buy 1 crate and sell immediately for maximum RP since the same RP is given whether you source/sell 1 crate or multiple.
Earn 200-600RP bonuses when you stay near the CEO/VIP's location
Host or participate in Heists - Min. Level 1 / to participate; Min. Level 12 / or own a high-end apartment to host
I'm a millionaire already, just give me a grind:
CEO Import/Export Vehicle Work by Psychko - Currently most reliable and profitable money grind with high end only method - Min. Level 1 / if you already own a CEO office / if you do not own a CEO office
Do an I/E sourcing mission, then do VIP work (Headhunter or Sightseer are a breeze with a Buzzard) in the cool down, then do an I/E delivery mission. Rinse and repeat!
Earn 2000-3000RP per source delivery, 5000RP per sale delivery. Buy 1 crate and sell immediately for maximum RP since the same RP is given whether you source/sell 1 crate or multiple.
Earn 200-600RP bonuses when you stay near the CEO/VIP's location
Host or participate in Heists - Min. Level 1 / to participate; Min. Level 12 / or own a high-end apartment to host
I'm a millionaire already, just give me a grind:
CEO Import/Export Vehicle Work by Psychko - Currently most reliable and profitable money grind with high end only method - Min. Level 1 / if you already own a CEO office / if you do not own a CEO office
Do an I/E sourcing mission, then do VIP work (Headhunter or Sightseer are a breeze with a Buzzard) in the cool down, then do an I/E delivery mission. Rinse and repeat!
Earn 2000-3000RP per source delivery, 5000RP per sale delivery. Buy 1 crate and sell immediately for maximum RP since the same RP is given whether you source/sell 1 crate or multiple.
Earn 200-600RP bonuses when you stay near the CEO/VIP's location
Host or participate in Heists - Min. Level 1 / to participate; Min. Level 12 / or own a high-end apartment to host
I'm a millionaire already, just give me a grind:
CEO Import/Export Vehicle Work by Psychko - Currently most reliable and profitable money grind with high end only method - Min. Level 1 / if you already own a CEO office / if you do not own a CEO office
Do an I/E sourcing mission, then do VIP work (Headhunter or Sightseer are a breeze with a Buzzard) in the cool down, then do an I/E delivery mission. Rinse and repeat!
Earn 2000-3000RP per source delivery, 5000RP per sale delivery. Buy 1 crate and sell immediately for maximum RP since the same RP is given whether you source/sell 1 crate or multiple.
Earn 200-600RP bonuses when you stay near the CEO/VIP's location
Host or participate in Heists - Min. Level 1 / to participate; Min. Level 12 / or own a high-end apartment to host
I'm a millionaire already, just give me a grind:
CEO Import/Export Vehicle Work by Psychko - Currently most reliable and profitable money grind with high end only method - Min. Level 1 / if you already own a CEO office / if you do not own a CEO office
Do an I/E sourcing mission, then do VIP work (Headhunter or Sightseer are a breeze with a Buzzard) in the cool down, then do an I/E delivery mission. Rinse and repeat!
Earn 2000-3000RP per source delivery, 5000RP per sale delivery. Buy 1 crate and sell immediately for maximum RP since the same RP is given whether you source/sell 1 crate or multiple.
Earn 200-600RP bonuses when you stay near the CEO/VIP's location
A skeptic’s post: Can WSB win the GME standoff even if we want to?
I have been following WSB as a lurker for almost a year, and this has become my favorite sub on all of reddit. Shout out to I am absolutely rooting for y’all and all your proletarian tendies.
I don’t want to rain on anyone’s money parade. But after reading lots of excited posts about “rockets to the moon”, which seem to be full of excited confirmation bias, riding on this excellent & sober post, I wanted to present a few arguments, as a total ignorant fool, about some strategic disadvantages I perceive in this battle, since I tend towards skepticism, and worry that there is too much buzz, and not enough strategic preparation.
I was also inspired by u/NHNE’s quote from Sun Tzu in his excellent post with a Diamond Hand Strategy Guide: “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.” - Sun Tzu
My caveat: I know literally nothing about investing.
The advantages Hedge Funds have in the battle for the GME Short Squeeze:
Information advantage
The hedge funds will always have quicker, better access to information than all of WSB.
Coordination advantage
They are one big organized entity, and can move their entire “Army” of bets with infinitesimal speed.
Size advantage
The hedges have more money at stake and in play than all of WSB put together.
Ally advantage
They have powerful collaborators. The media, who doesn’t want a hedge fund to go bust. You can assume, the US government (and every other government), because they don’t want a stock market crash. And everyone who colludes with hedge funds, i.e. all of corporate America.
Propaganda advantage
Whether it be social media posts, bots, articles in mainstream media, they have enough money to blast out as much fake statistics and propaganda as they like. WSB does not.
Mathematical advantage
A lot of trading has become complicated math. You can assume that every single analyst they have/need is working on the math to get them out of the hole they have dug themselves in. We are less good at math.
Speed & Precision advantage
They can make trades and bets much faster, with a much higher precision than WSB.
Strategic advantage
You can assume the hedge funds know your position, but you don’t know theirs. This in my mind is the most powerful of all advantages for them. Imagine you are playing chess against an opponent and have to decide which pieces to move, but aren’t allowed to see where theirs are? But they can ever read your thoughts (i.e. this forum).
Legal advantage
Given the very very light penalties even for something patently illegal in financial manipulations, it is in their very interest to do anything whose cost is “cheaper” than the potential cost of the actual monetary loss, whether it be legal or not. If you were the CEO/Fund manager, you too would decide for illegality.
So, the question then becomes, given this situation, in which for the hedge funds not only billions are at stake, but the narrative of their ability to make the market, and the propaganda of expertise they disseminate, how does WSB win and force the Short Squeeze? What are WSB's advantages? How do you make best use of them? Who are WSB's allies? How can they be activated? How do you deceive the enemy? How do you overwhelm them, tactically?
A few initial thoughts on counter-strategies (Feel free to suggest more, and I'll add them in):
The strongest narrative that might influence public/politics is that the stock market is a casino, and the house is not just taking its fees, but cheating. The stock market is no longer a "free market", but a place where big players make the rules, and use their wealth to make more wealth for themselves.
WSB needs to find and activate allies. These might be the company itself (GME), value investors who believe in the free market and its efficiency, political/investment figures who want investment to actually mean something.
Some disadvantages need to be turned into advantages. For example, it will be difficult to impossible for WSB to move in concert without alerting the "enemy" to its own ovements. So, how does one coordinate a move in which transparency becomes an advantage?
My position: One free GME share I got from RH when I signed up.:)
It’s in your best interest to stop acting like a bunch of dumb sheep who bought GME simply because they were following WSB, DFV, or the crazy FOMO price action. That stupid ape narrative will only be used to “protect you” with more trading restrictions for the lower classes. Think of the part time day trading rules, which make it harder to make money, but worse. If you’re new here, “apes together strong” was never a thing until the last couple weeks. It showed up with all the new people (bots?). Before then, we called people retards, not as a sign of strength in numbers, but to make fun of people that think they understand the market and get burned. I mean, yeah, it’s a joke about us being dumb. But along with loss porn, it’s a reminder to fucking be careful. Anything could happen. Use risk management. This is a fucking casino. You could be right about some stupid stock going up 5% tomorrow. Or the whole god damned market could crash, and you’ll just be another loser down 20%, regardless of your amazing DD. We all know the risks. So don’t whine about losing all your money. Don’t ask for handouts on this sub, because you risked more than you could lose. More than anything, stop acting like ignorance makes you strong. It never did. It’s your money. You made grown up decisions. Own your losses. Don’t let legislation take more freedoms away from us within the “free market” to protect us, the ‘poor dumb apes.’ WSB is being scapegoated for this fiasco, even though many of us had good reasons to invest in GME. The thing that wasn’t accounted for by most people was the sudden restriction on buying for multiple days until all momentum died. The ability for brokers to abruptly make that decision needs to be challenged. So pull yourself together and do some research about the way brokers created an artificial selling pressure to push the price down. Then, maybe contact your state representatives with something more coherent than diamond hands and ape noises. Edit: typos because it’s 1am, I’m tired and retarded.
Host or participate in Heists - Min. Level 1 / to participate; Min. Level 12 / or own a high-end apartment to host
I'm a millionaire already, just give me a grind:
CEO Import/Export Vehicle Work by Psychko - Currently most reliable and profitable money grind with high end only method - Min. Level 1 / if you already own a CEO office / if you do not own a CEO office
Do an I/E sourcing mission, then do VIP work (Headhunter or Sightseer are a breeze with a Buzzard) in the cool down, then do an I/E delivery mission. Rinse and repeat!
Earn 2000-3000RP per source delivery, 5000RP per sale delivery. Buy 1 crate and sell immediately for maximum RP since the same RP is given whether you source/sell 1 crate or multiple.
Earn 200-600RP bonuses when you stay near the CEO/VIP's location
Host or participate in Heists - Min. Level 1 / to participate; Min. Level 12 / or own a high-end apartment to host
I'm a millionaire already, just give me a grind:
CEO Import/Export Vehicle Work by Psychko - Currently most reliable and profitable money grind with high end only method - Min. Level 1 / if you already own a CEO office / if you do not own a CEO office
Do an I/E sourcing mission, then do VIP work (Headhunter or Sightseer are a breeze with a Buzzard) in the cool down, then do an I/E delivery mission. Rinse and repeat!
Earn 2000-3000RP per source delivery, 5000RP per sale delivery. Buy 1 crate and sell immediately for maximum RP since the same RP is given whether you source/sell 1 crate or multiple.
Earn 200-600RP bonuses when you stay near the CEO/VIP's location
Host or participate in Heists - Min. Level 1 / to participate; Min. Level 12 / or own a high-end apartment to host
I'm a millionaire already, just give me a grind:
CEO Import/Export Vehicle Work by Psychko - Currently most reliable and profitable money grind with high end only method - Min. Level 1 / if you already own a CEO office / if you do not own a CEO office
Do an I/E sourcing mission, then do VIP work (Headhunter or Sightseer are a breeze with a Buzzard) in the cool down, then do an I/E delivery mission. Rinse and repeat!
Earn 2000-3000RP per source delivery, 5000RP per sale delivery. Buy 1 crate and sell immediately for maximum RP since the same RP is given whether you source/sell 1 crate or multiple.
Earn 200-600RP bonuses when you stay near the CEO/VIP's location
Say it together with me, kiddos: I-N-V-E-S-T-I-N-G
Yes, this is a casino. Yes, the glories of WSB have been built on the charred corpses of untold retards who diamond-handed weeklies until the bitter end, and the few who climbed atop the fray to reach Valhalla. But there's an inconvenient reality that calls into question the mythology of WSB, which is that many of our most storied figures are, beyond the memes and rocket emojis, investors, rather than gamblers or their slightly more couth bretheren, traders. If there's one thing that I hope the flock of newly-minted degenerates realizes, however recent events have shaken out, it's that there are multiple paths here and multiple ways to get rich and go broke or some horrific combination thereof. After GME or (insert stock here) comes and goes, there will be other plays that speak to your fancy. But the more you know about yourself and how you'd like to play this very elaborate game, the less likely you are to get fucked by it. Hopping onto meme stocks is just one path. It's the most accessible and I'm all for it. Entire currencies have been created based solely on meme power. But the essential thing to know is that history does not repeat itself. There will never be another TSLA or another GME. When you invest in a meme, you aren't investing in something bound by history, or reason. Many of the stocks that become memes actually begin, like GME, as solid value propositions. By the time they become memes, though, you've already missed the "value" phase and you're basically banking on something that's hard to pin down. It's a slippery basis for an investment, but it's made a lot of people rich. Maybe it will make you rich. This is one path that you can choose, but here's the thing, you actually have to be committed to it. Hopscotching from one meme to another won't get you to tendie town. That's trading, not investing, and trading doesn't work out well for most people. The unique thing about GME - and many will disagree - is that it's a meme based on a trade rather than an investment. If you're an investor, a short squeeze is meaningless. Ryan Cohen can't sell at the peak. I think it's all gotten fantastically muddled. People have piled onto this play which is essentially a trade, but they aren't approaching it like traders. Again, trading is hard. If you're like me, then you suck at it and have had to swear it off after blowing up your portfolio twice on stupid options plays. Traders - the ones far more sophisticated than you and me - have actually been making a killing on GME. I'd argue that the GME team does consist of investors, but they're investing in the wrong thing. At the end of the day, you can only invest in a company, and not a community of investors. Investing will never become a "movement" because movements are about values, while the market is about money. In this game, money always wins. You can attach a face to it - Melvin Capital, Citadel, whatever - but it is inherently faceless. DFV didn't initially invest in a meme, or a movement - he invested in a (deep fucking) value proposition informed by his analysis of where Gamestop stood as a company and where it was heading. And then, as we all know, he held. And that's exactly what he has in common with WSB's other luminaries. If you can see what the market doesn't yet see, put a chunk on the line that you can afford to lose, and wait (that's the important part) then you might have some juicy gain porn of your own to post in a year or two. You need conviction, though, or you'll just spend all your time looking at the tickers that made it big that day and move on to the next, sexier play. The only way to have conviction is to learn enough that you can actually internalize the DD that you come across and make it your own. And usually the only way to learn is to fail. Maybe that's the part of the road you're on right now, but it's a good start. Edited for TL;DR - Know the difference between trading and investing, and try to do more of the latter.
The Table Where The Games Stop: A metaphor that is most certainly not financial advice.
Story time, retards. Put on your reading glasses because your autistic ass doesn't get a TL:DR on this one, and you degenerates don't get any fucking emojis from me either. Ahem The Gay Bears had run a casino for a long time, and the house was rigged. The Retard Bulls who played knew this; but some were able to get lucky; so the other Retard Bulls mostly just looked the other way while the Gay Bears stole millions and millions of dollars from the Bulls' parents every ten years or so. Until one day an especially autistic bull named Diamond Hooves learned how to count cards, and sought to get rich. Counting cards is not illegal, and Diamond Hooves secretly employed his method of card counting at many different tables in the casino, and he made a lot of money. But Diamond Hooves was very upset with what he saw while he won his money in the casino. Many other bulls were losing money to the Gay Bears, and it made Diamond Hooves very sad at first; and then very angry. In his contempt for what the Gay Bears had done to his autistic bretheren, Diamond Hooves started to teach his secret method of card counting to every bull he knew. Once he was satisfied that he had educated enough of his bretheren, he led them to the most vulnerable table in the entire casino. The intention was clear, the Retard Bulls had all gathered of their own free will for a single purpose: To sit and play at the table where the Games Stop. Diamond Hooves was very clear about his table selection, and he had indeed chosen the right table to bankrupt the Gay Bears. This was becoming clear to other Retard Bulls who had not yet decided that they wanted to join Diamond Hooves in counting cards at the table where the games stop. Unfortunately, the Gay Bears also knew that their casino could lose all of its money if too many Bulls counted cards at the table where the games stop; and they had a plan to defeat the bulls. The Bears employed strongarm tactics to scare the bulls away from the table at first; but this only drew more bulls in. The Beears then stacked the decks against the bulls; but so many bulls had come to the table that it didn't matter. The bulls knew that they had to be willing to be bagholders. They had to be like Diamond Hooves. The Gay Bears lured the bulls to other tables that would only serve to delay victory at the table where the Games Stop, and sucked them in to the losing tables with false comforts like movies and blackberries. Eventually some of these poor Bulls lost all of their money; but some were able to take the money they stashed away while watching movies and eating blackberries and take it back to the table where the Games Stop. If they had not done this; the battle may have been lost to the Gay Bears. The Bears had one final set of tricks up their sleeves; and they disallowed any more Bulls to sit at the table where the Games Stop, and then limited new arrivals; and they started a program of disinformation. The Bears sought to villify the Retard Bulls playing at the table where the Games Stop, and they also sought to cover their losses by luring other bulls into the casino so that they could lose money while eating blackberries and watching movies. It was never forgotten the the Bulls playing with Diamond Hooves at the table where the Games Stop were the good guys, or that the Gay Bears were the bad guys. Too many bulls had been bankrupted. Too many bull families had been kept in poverty for too many generations. The Game had to Stop. To this day Diamond Hooves is still sitting at the table, calling his bretheren to count cards and bankrupt the casino. More and more bulls are joining, and the stakes keep getting higher and higher. Can you hear him in the distance? "Remain at the table where the Games Stop with Diamond Hooves!" "This does not work unless you are willing to hold an empty bag with Diamond Hooves!" "Don't be distracted by movies or blackberries or anything else. Come play with Diamond Hooves!" "Come to the table where the Games Stop with Diamond Hooves!" Disclaimer: This is a metaphor; so it is DEFINITELY NOT TO BE CONSTRUED AS FINANCIAL ADVICE. GME, 5 shares bought at 360ish because I am more autistic than you; and I like the fucking stock more than you. I will play with diamond hands. I am willing to hold an empty bag with diamond hands. I will not be distracted by AMC or BB or any other stonk. I will do my part to make the Game Stop with diamod hands. Will you?
Is this loss? Loss softcore porn as rite of passage attached. Maybe this breaks rule 8 I guess, delete it if that's the case because it's peanuts, I do have a point to make to all the other newbies here, if you'll allow it. Apes this might be too many words for you, but whatever. I apologize for the lack of meme emojis, but I suspect there's got to be some rational humans in here that can read. They'll do a case study on the psychology of this sub one day, the delirium is peak... unlike the stocks. The frenzy is nauseating. At first the diamond hand emojis were fun, the ironic culture was entertaining, and the sentiment seemed noble. I'm one of those idiots that bought into the hype. Im in 14 AMC @ 14 and 1 GME @ 313(doh). Nothing that's going to absolutely wreck me, I had a tiny portfolio as is, and was mostly just playing around to get a feel for it before all this went down was actually up 100 bucks and excited. Honestly; I feel bad for all the people that saw this as a get-rich-quick opportunity. This was always a casino. I'm not brand new to investing, but I'm also not one of the old heads (that seem to have more sense than us, yet you downvote them to hell because their opinions dont match up with your belief) in here either, obviously you can see I didn't join this sub until recently. They're really not your enemy. They tried to tell you, and you responded with downvotes and "bot and shill" replies and now they mock you and buy puts because you're just being dense and betting your entire bank account, retirements, college tuition,etc. You've infiltrated their house, acted a fool, and won't even take their advice. Even investing, which are considered the "brains of stocks" here on reddit think you clearly don't understand how this works, because they've ALSO tried explaining it to you and you downvote spam them as well in their sub. Yes you, who has been day trading all of one week has more insight to this mess than people who have been doing this for years. Cringe. In short, you're "fighting the man" by just throwing money at the man. Everytime it dips and you buy more and hold, you're just hemorrhaging more money. You're not "fucking over wallstreet" you got swept up in a spectacle and now you're too far deep in it to back out, it's everyone's fault but your own apparently. You saw dollar signs and YOLOs and infinite rockets to the fucking moon, and you'd get to stick it to suits along the way. You're just shoving more of your money into another suits pocket, and possibly even Melvin Capitals depending on their options. Just holding the stock doesn't guarantee you 10k a share, it's not a blank check it literally is a meme babe, simply grabbing all the stock you can and holding it for ransom until the stock market fairy presses a magic button and suits pay you whatever price you ask for, isn't how this works. They don't HAVE to buy it back from you at any given date..if there even are shorts at this point. They have all your data at the press of a button and you have to just speculate on all their positions. Hell, for as much money as you all have pumped into the system in the last 48 hours you've probably paid their interest off at LEAST. AMC and GME realistically aren't long term plays unless they merge with larger companies. Theaters were dying pre-covid, and gamestop was no better off, however it may possibly happen now because of the media attention, who knows. The suits are better at this chess game than you, clearly. They've been doing it much longer than any of us, and have access to infinite information, knowledge and tools. Is it right? Not really. "Short Ladder Attacks" you're seeing is just large numbers of shares being bought and sold at once. This is literally how volatile stocks look ffs. Anyway, I'll hold for the hell of it, because I didn't gamble more than I can afford to lose and sell at zero for a total loss. Forward, I'll be less likely to get caught up in the hubbub of social media, do my own DD, learn how to navigate, and take control of my own rocket instead of trying to leap onto someone else's because they said it's going if we just hold on. Fuck, maybe I'll keep them not as a trophy of the time I said "fuck you" to wallstreet but rather not to make stupid financial decisions because of meme culture. If this moons I'll 100% eat crow, but this is looking bear as all hell. Sorry all these weird ass apes hijacked your sub, old heads. It's cringe at this point. Hope y'all can consolidate elsewhere, and get your community back. I can't imagine what it's like going from 1m to 8m in a week, full of meme stockers, trying to meme their way into a mansion.
Look, supposing this passes the mod wall, you new people looking to get rich quick need to know what you are getting into. YOU ARE NOT GUARANTEED TO WIN. I was reading some of the daily thread comments and some of you have to chill the fuck out. Do not drop your fucking rent on a stock. If you have some disposable income, buy and diamond hand to $1000. If you have food in the fridge, ride that rocket to Betelgeuse baby. If you're daddy's special little boy and he gives you an allowance every week on top of rent and food you better put every red cent into GME or whatever else. But if you are literally trying to decide whether to YOLO GME 0DTEs tomorrow or pay rent, I choose pay rent every fucking time. Because no matter what these fucks tell you, it literally CAN go tits up I own GME and this it not financial advice. I'm just a moron who doesn't want people to get hurt who can't afford it. TL;DR: If you wouldn't walk into a casino and drop it on black, don't put it into a stock that's been squeezed for a week and a half Edit: highlighted the TL;DR so you idiots can see it
[Let's Build] Attractions in a demon pleasure palace that aren't sexual
My players are going to be visiting the palace of a demon lord of pleasure who's more CN than CE. I want to show that despite his title, he represents all forms of pleasure and good feelings, not just sex. Also space in his realm doesn't work the same way as it does in the mortal plane. He essentially has an infinite amount of space to work with and can customize it as he pleases, so there are no size constraints.
A casino to feel the thrill of gambling.
A dining hall with an endless buffet that visitors are allowed to eat as much as they wish.
An idyllic beach with perfectly white sand to relax or play on.
An arena where gladiators brawl it out against each other. The point of it isn't to kill each other as much as make the battles look stunning to the audience.
A hotel with the most comfortable beds possible. Here anyone with enough money can enjoy a good rest after all the excitement.
A beautiful and well tended garden filled with aromatic flowers and sweet fruits.
A vineyard where exquisitely-aged wine can be produced just by pressing the grapes. (u/_SovietMudkip_)
A petting zoo full of the babies of dangerous creatures. (u/_SovietMudkip_)
An opulent concert hall where the best musicians of the realms perform (u/_SovietMudkip_)
A small, cozy looking wooden library, with a cushioned bay window where rain gently scatters against the glass and a cup of some hot liquid gently rising with steam. (u/QuietOracle)
An owl-bear hugging zoo. Go to sleep in the embrace of their soft down. (u/QuietOracle)
The room of sensory experiences. The room itself is fairly plain, with the main feature being long tables running the length of the room. On closer inspection there are fist-sized carved holes, each one holding a small round crystal... (u/QuietOracle)
A room with dozens of sacks filled with beans, lentils and grains where visitors can put their hands in and let the contents run through their fingers. (u/_WhiteCubeCat_)
A hag (or any other long nailed creature) giving visitors a scalp massage. (u/_WhiteCubeCat_)
A museum of little-known or long-forgotten art pieces, sculptures, and history. (u/MoonlightMancer)
A festival full of colors, music, and drinks. Everyone seems to love you, and you can’t stop laughing. (u/MoonlightMancer)
A hallway of endless doors. In each room is someone you know, complimenting you endlessly, sharing every positive, even begrudgingly jealous thought they ever had about you. (u/MoonlightMancer)
A hot spring/spa, with fluffy towels, those showers that are like rain with perfect water pressure, mud baths, and refreshing food and drink. (u/lionesslindsey)
A room full of people that constantly give you validation and laugh at all your jokes. (u/CountryJeff)
Never-ending line of gold chalices, crystal vases, silver artwork, and other valuables. (u/PutridMeatPuppet)
People who are “better” than you are marched in a stripped of their superior qualities. Beautiful people are disfigured and turned ugly. Wealthy powerful people are ruined and made to beg you for pennies. (u/PutridMeatPuppet)
Mass groups of people enter the room and tell you how they admire you and how wonderful you are. They stroke your ego and inflate your pride. (u/PutridMeatPuppet)
Servants do everything for you. Feed you, give you drinks, wash you, wipe your arse, etc. (u/PutridMeatPuppet)
You are given a wickedly barbed leather whip. A slave creature is bound to a post and you can whip this creature to inflict your wrath upon them as much as you desire. If the poor soul dies, another is brought in to replace them. (u/PutridMeatPuppet)
'Knight for a day'. The full experience; lance, shiny outfit, a squire, a trusty stead, a dragon and a princess/prince to rescue. (u/mr_earthman)
The magical equivalent of a holo deck (u/cyber-viper)
Wide, flat plain with the fastest vehicles in the multiverse (a good place to use the Avernus vehicles) (u/Clickclacktheblueguy)
A selection of cities and villages for you to destroy with war machines or your own magic. (u/Clickclacktheblueguy)
A collection of wand that allow you to test out powerful magic. (u/Clickclacktheblueguy)
A magical version of a movie theatre, allowing you to watch all manner of stories, true and legendary. (u/Clickclacktheblueguy)
A moderately large pool where small battleships with tiny animated crewmen can be deployed in teams to shell and board each other for the audience's amusement. Honored guests can put their strategic abilities to a test against other players by directly giving orders to their ships, and in certain hours guests may even swim in the pool to live out the power fantasy of being a sea monster. (u/VIixIXine)
A colorizer-device that transforms any clothes/armoweapons/other gear to any desired hue you wish (as long as it doesn’t affect the workings of the gear) (u/PaigeOrion)
A grand screen, showing a nearly infinite number of (screen)plays from all space and time, including the show with the disgraced human paladin delivering a green baby gnome back to his home land through incredible odds. (u/PaigeOrion)
A tiara that allows you to experience the sensory experience of a black cat as long as you wear it and close your eyes. (u/PaigeOrion)
A plethora of small, multicolored blocks that will magically interlock with one another to render almost any architectural structure imaginable. (But don’t step on them barefoot!) (u/PaigeOrion)
A band of musicians who are the perfect musical backup for any performances. Alone, they are more low key, but no less skilled, playing haunting melodies of unknown origin. (u/PaigeOrion)
A massive walk-in closet where you can try in any clothes in any fashion you like. (u/Tezla44)
A "schadenfreude" theatre, with shows that rely on slapstick and cringe comedy. (u/Martinus_XIV)
A room designed to give you closure. When you enter this room, someone you loved and lost is there, sitting in a couch. The room feels vaguely familiar, but you can't place why. If Detect Magic is used, the room is full of magic (divination, transmutation, illusion) but the person seems like a normal person. You can chat with them for as long as you like. They behave just as you remember them, with the good and the bad. (u/ohsurenerd)
A theatre performing the most magnificent tragedies. When you watch the performance, you find yourself completely enraptured: you cheer when things go right, scream when something terrifying happens, and moan and weep at the inevitable horrible ending. When you leave, it feels like removing a backpack full of lead that you'd been carrying for so long you'd forgotten it was there. (u/ohsurenerd)
A room where there's a button, there's someone outside and it explains that if you enter there's a 50/50 chance of you dying or not, the room won't actually kill you and it's there just to make you feel the pleasure of near death experience. (u/SupremeGodDictator)
A massage parlor with the universes best staff pampering your every need as you receive the most relaxing massage of your life whether it be scalp, back, foot, full body, etc. Has the worlds fluffiest towels and robes to luxuriate in while you wait or if you simply want to sit in a comfy chair and enjoy your ache free muscles. (u/Blue_Mando)
An arena where you and your opponents heal near instantly, and you can fight endlessly (u/ellen-the-educator)
A reenactment of your greatest failures in life, but this time they turn into your greatest achievements. (u/CountryJeff)
A room with the world's finest works of art.... and a myriad of implements you can use to destroy them. (u/redrosebeetle)
A torture chamber with mages on hand to create illusions of the people you wish to torture. Or increasingly realistic versions of them, depending on the level of magic you wish to implement. (u/redrosebeetle)
A room full of gold and jewels you can roll around in, ala Scrooge McDuck. But woe betide anyone who tries to take a souvenir.... (u/redrosebeetle)
As you're walking through the gardens, a person comes up to you. They introduce themselves as an adventurer who's also here on a quest. They seem to be the same class as you, and they're incredibly attractive-- almost exactly your type. You immediately click and end up spending the day together, talking about everything and anything. You tell them things you've never told anyone else before. They understand everything you tell them, almost innately, but they're still impressed by your feats and your stories. The two of you find an empty bedroom and close the door behind you. It's perfect in its imperfections. In the morning they're gone. No matter where you look, you can't find them. (u/ohsurenerd)
A room lined with shelves and shelves of bottles and vials containing a crimson liquid flowing slowly (like a syrup), all with small labels on them. As you inspect the labels, you realize they've all got names on them: famous adventurers, kings and queens, great sages. If you drink one, you experience a selection of their memories as they experienced them: battles won, discoveries made, historical alliances and friendships being forged or broken... (u/ohsurenerd)
A room that turns anyone that enters it into a child. It is full of every toy imaginable (u/arual_x)
A tour of a chocolate factory. Kobolds work there, and the owner, who gives the tour, is a Metallic Dragon in Humanoid form. (u/arual_x)
A fortune teller who has a Deck of Many Things with only the good cards. If you in any way offend them, they will sleight of hand vs perception check slip you a bad card instead. (u/arual_x)
An island theme park of reanimated dinosaurs. The owner is a level 20 Necromancer called Hamm Johnand. (u/arual_x)
A Virtual Reality style game that allows you to battle horrible monsters over and over again without risk of injury physical. But still allows you to gain XP... (u/arual_x)
A perfect expanse of thick snowy ground. There is constantly a snowball fight going on. (u/arual_x)
A giant room full of mattresses where everyone immediately gets a wonderful massage. (u/Revanclaw-and-memes)
A room full of gold and exquisite things, from beautiful furniture to magic weapons (u/Revanclaw-and-memes)
A seemingly endless room where adventurers can drink a potion to grow wings and flit about to their hearts' delight (u/iriedashur)
An ordinary classroom containing the adventurer's childhood friends, enemies, and their most hated teacher. Upon entering the room, the adventurer discovers that they are invisible, and free to pull pranks as they wish (u/iriedashur)
A brightly colored room piled high with wrapped gifts, large and small, for the adventurers to open endlessly (u/iriedashur)
A purple and black dragon named Ace who cooks you garlic bread and cake. (u/sanorace)
A magic pair of goggles/glasses that simulate any “What if” question you pose to them. (u/lewiscann)
A magical weather room where you can ask for any weather for your pleasure (I love listening to rain) (u/lewiscann)
A room full of lounges with a floating slow burning piece of wood that warms the whole area, the piece of wood is so large you can see the flame spread through this piece of wood forever (u/lewiscann)
A room where you can bite your fingernails and they grow back instantly ( so you can bite them some more )(u/razenastie)
A room with incredibly weakened versions of powerful monsters. (u/Your_InsideMan)
A vast room on wooden sculptures, oil, and torches. (u/Your_InsideMan)
A booth that will remake your face whilst in the palace (ostensibly to make you more beautiful but it could be used for anything) (u/Paralytica)
A magic chair that gives really good back massages (u/TenNinetythree)
A playground where the slides and carousels are for adults (u/TenNinetythree)
A room where you become a giant and can destroy cities and fortresses kaiju style. (u/Paralytica)
Drug Olympics. A room with every drug imaginable to try. Leaving the room cleanses you of their effects. (u/Skitsafrit)
No Pauses. A room that has the effect of making all conversations flow perfectly. No silence stretches too long, no one mishears you, and every topic segways perfectly into the next. (u/Skitsafrit)
Deprivation Room. The room is so absolutely featureless and quiet, that you can meditate magnitudes better here than anywhere else. (u/Skitsafrit)
A games room where you play against your perfect match (u/Nesurame)
Similar to the previous, a games room where you're matched against nothing but weaker opponents (u/Nesurame)
A heist simulator where you always get away with the big diamond, chest, etc (thrill of theft) (u/reallyenjoyscarbs)
A sauna room with a central pillar. Inside the pillar is a chamber containing a magic stone which can detect the exact temperature preferences of those inside, and making each person feel said preference. (u/TgagHammerstrike)
An oval-shaped room with countless glass lotion bottles, with each smelling better than the last. If you look for a specific scent (no matter how rare), you'll certainly find it with the help of a goblin near the back of the room. (u/TgagHammerstrike)
A room that consists of A bunch of mortals so utterly jaded from years of plesure seeking that they need the hardest of drugs and the wildest of sensations to feel anything,with lesser demons feeding on their pursuit of euphoria. Think the emperors children from warhammer 40k. (u/TgagHammerstrike)
A buffet of the lids of yogurt/pudding cups to lick. (u/Hunter37594)
An olfactory room that reads your memories and replicates smells that remind you of your most joyous moments. (u/lecorbusianus)
A wildlife reserve for Druids to find new and exotic wild shapes. (u/lecorbusianus)
A room with musical instruments that you're able to master immediately. (u/lecorbusianus)
A cooking class taught by a master chef that always seems to have enough time to guide you one-on-one. (u/lecorbusianus)
An enchanter who allows you to relieve the best moments of your life over and over again. (u/lecorbusianus)
An illusionary room that brings up past experiences and let’s you make different choices to fix mistakes or win arguments. (u/The_Rhibo)
A murder simulator to allow an individual to live out the fantasy of killing that special someone. (u/Brann_The_Kid)
A library full of blackmail and secret knowledge regarding historical and political figures. A conniving, plotting character’s dream! (u/MoonlightMancer)
A room with a creature in a dark robe sitting at a table covered in maps and dice. He helps you play a strange game where you and your party make up characters that go on adventures while the robed creature acts as all of the other characters and determines new events. (u/Clickclacktheblueguy)
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