Ok, forgive the formatting. This was originally a greentext post for all the /b/tards at 4chan. It's also a long read but if you can get past that then it is actually a quite interesting story that happened to me years ago.
be 22 active duty air force assigned to Nellis in Las Vegas not disclosing job, but no stranger to weapons and tactics get pulled in to supervisor's office one day told I've just been "voluntold" to participate in a training exercise with DOD no other information given other than reporting instructions pretty much any question I asked was answered with "I have no fucking idea " report to conference room at base hotel next morning per instruction see about 12 other guys from my unit also voluntold to be there five guys enter room in civilian clothes introduce themselves as the "WHITEBOX" Group Assume it's an acronym for something, but never explained told we will be upgrading our security clearances hours of paperwork, only told we are participating in a force on force exercise released back to our unit crack jokes about how the exercise is a lie and we will be experimented on return to regular job and time passes eventually assume that it was canceled and forget the whole thing
about 2 months later supervisor pulls me aside and tells me that I need to report to a briefing the next day says it’s about "some WHITEBOX exercise" has no idea what it is and doesn't seem to care. once again report to base hotel with the other 12 guys WHITEBOX guys show up and pick us up in a van driven off base to some random office building and escorted into the offices of the Department of Energy, WTF? mystery only deepens, what the fuck is happening? what if this actually is some evil experimental shit more hours of paperwork and security/safety briefings by random suits had to fill out and sign a non-disclosure agreement and that threatened arrest if violated required to turn in cell phones and any other electronic devices in our possession our cell phones get locked in a cabinet while the office phone in the room gets unplugged WHITEBOX guys finally return and fire up a power point briefing first slide just titled WHITBOX Exercise 0X slide also labeled in bold red letters "CLASSIFIED TOP SECRET / NOFORN / ORCON this is really starting to feel serious
WHITEBOX Exercise finally explained told that for the next two weeks we will be role playing as OPFOR (opposing forces) we will try to attack and penetrate a DOD facility and carry out a simulated act of sabotage facility is protected by a contracted privately owned security force security group is required by the DOD to carry out this exercise in order to audit their protection every couple of years if we succeed, security company fails the audit and looses the contract the exercise is the conclusion of a two week inspection of the security contractors and their procedures every exercise a random military unit is chosen as OPFOR "reminded that we are silent professionals and that this isn’t something we should be advertising shaving wavers granted and civilian attire only FUCKYEAH.jpg power point scrolls to a page with a google earth screenshot on it instantly recognize the picture it's Area 51 holyfuckingshit.exe are we are being told to break into Area 51? can't be real random unit bro pipes up out of nowhere "Is that fucking Area 51?" we are all fucking stoked later told not to call it Area 51 as that just makes you a total chode Groom Lake, Paradise Ranch, or Homey Airbase are the acceptable names many insiders simply refer to it as “The Base” also reminded of the possible legal action via UCMJ if we go around telling everyone about it One of the WHITEBOX guys is now our designated "insider threat" exercise is designed to simulate that someone inside has been comprised by a foreign government he will provide any information that we ask for that he has knowledge of or access to other WHITEBOX guys handle will handle exercise logistics they will provide any weapons or equipment that we request to carry out mission "within reason" told this is not a COD loadout screen
ground rules established... will only be provided with weapons that we are certified to carry weapons will be armed with blank rounds or completely empty also no vehicles will be utilized by us within the DOD property landmarkers simulating road chases are not authorized our insertion is simulated so we will already be escorted/processed through various checkpoints and dropped off near the base no impractical equipment requests, so no tanks, helos, surveillance drones, or scud missiles, lol any explosives we intend to simulate will be assessed by WHITEBOX so if we want to blow the perimeter fences we will tell them before hand, they will calculate the weight of the bang we would need, it would be simulated by rocks, and then someone would need to hump the weight number 1 rule established and stressed with a very serious tone we will be escorted by WHITEBOX evaluators at all times within the DOD landmarkers at no point are any of us authorized to be alone in the facility actual security is not laxed because of the exercise, nor is this a free pass to roam security personnel can still use real force in the event that we deviate from the established protocols shown various pictures within the airbase that most will never get to see a specific hangar is designated as our target building. we will need to gain access to that hangar and carry out an act of sabotage for our sabotage we will need to ///REDACTED/// obviously we won't be doing it for real so we will actually need complete a random task inside the hangar task will be designed to be as complex and time consuming as the real thing all while being hunted by the security force insider threat briefing continues, various elements of the base security procedures and day to day operations explained however, get the impression that the chosen source is someone with a generic admin position and is not actually involved with security we are also encouraged to do our own research and scour the interwebz for info about the base told to supply the URLs to WHITEBOX if we find anything of interest. sorry if we got your Alex Jones or Art Bell conspiracy blogs taken offline briefing finally concludes, we are reminded of our non-disclosure policy and taken back to Nellis and dismissed for the day
next day we all meet at Creech Air Force Base in Indian Springs, Nevada we will be using this location to build our plan of attack and do rehearsals/dry runs it's actually pretty cool because it's on us to plan our op, just a bunch of random Airmen periodically grill our insider with questions and start asking our other WHITEBOX guys for gear we tried to have our insider take pictures of the interior of our target hangar, but he got caught IRL he would be arrested and interrogated by the feds, and the whole op would be dead instead though the guys that caught him received kudos from the inspectors, and he just tells us nope have to rely on a whiteboard sketch of the inside decide to keep it simple, M4 riffles only however I am certified on the Barret M82 .50 cal. we decide that I will carry that heavy mother fucker as well as an M4 and provide overwatch from the distance kind of bummed out because im not going inside it will be on me to neutralize certain security positions that we have previous identified we remind our WHITEBOX guys that the M82 is an anti-material weapon with the ability to disable vehicles they tell us that I will just need to call my shots to the evaluator that I will be partnered with he will radio to the vehicles that they are destroyed and will need to stop driving guess I should mention that is also part of the disadvantage we have we will all be paired with WHITEBOX evaluators who will sort of act as referees during this simulated battle however they will all be wearing bright orange reflective vest identifying them as exercise officials that really fucks our ability to stay hidden and stealthy, but it is what it is also should mention that this is a daytime raid despite our objections sounds like they are setting us up for failure, but they remind us not to think of it like that this is all being done just so the evaluators can get a good look at the security's incident response procedures it's not an unannounced drill, the military doesn't really like to do that kind of thing especially with large scale exercises such as this everyone on the base know we are coming, there's no element of surprise here except with what kind of attack we prep it would be a real hot clusterfuck if the security contractors failed the audit heads would roll, people would get fired, and numerous officers would be relieved of command I still get to attack Area 51 so don't care as this is the coolest thing I've done in the military
our plan is starting to come together over the days decide to sacrifice one of us in a suicide bomb attack figure out which of us is the most "FNG" or lowest ranking and make him do it he will approach one of the ECPs (entry points to the base) on foot wearing a rucksack loaded with rocks (make-believe explosives) he will be wearing a uniform and will identify himself as Air Force and will franticly yell that he needs help we don't anticipate that he will make it that far or that the security will actually swallow this ruse however his goal is to get as close as he can to the ECP and yell allah ackbar and release his dead man's switch and try to take out what he can his evaluatoescort will drop a GBS (ground burst simulator) when he detonates GBS is a little miniature explosive device that just makes a really loud boom anyone who’s been through any type of military training is familiar with them, they are used to add stress and create excitement we are hoping this will be a distraction and will get as much security as possible to converge on that location the rest of us will assault from the other side of the base and try to breach the perimeter several of us will also be rucking explosive rocks for the breach chose a breach point that will have us crossing only a minimal portion of the flightline (place where aircraft operate) if we successfully simulate breaching the perimeter the exercise will be paused and we will be inprocessed through the ECP and brought into the base exercise will resume and we will continue to assault towards the target hangar I will stay outside in my sniper position and try to smoke what I can inside the hangar the team will cover the doors with simulated claymores and take up cover two guys will carry out the simulated sabotage act while the rest cover the doors WHITEBOX doesn't have any inert claymores to provide so the will be simulated with small weighted ammo cans the weight is really starting to become problematic so we abandon the claymores and decide to just cover the doors with firepower would really help if we had a vehicle, but not happening to be fair, vehicles wouldn't make it that close to the base if they tried to attack IRL armored or not
week one down, plan looking solid considering how much of our attack is simulated two weeks of planning is actually excessive not complaining though cause two weeks of hanging out and smoking and joking compared to normal work at Nellis only downside is the hour drive back and forth each day to Creech AFB casino right outside that base with awesome steak and eggs so not too bad though one of the WHITEBOX guys tells us he's actually employed by the Department of Energy he doesn't actually work at Groom Lake, he works at the Nevada Test Range the massive amount of Nevada landscape that is restricted and owned by the feds is actually impressive contrary to popular myth there is road access to Groom Lake via the adjacent test range, but not too many people actually make that drive. the 737 shuttle from McCarran Airport is how everyone gets there since the drive is long as fuck the main paved road through Rachel Nevada that all the tourist flock to doesn't really have any operational use anymore allegedly we will be driving there through the test range via a convoluted series of paved and dirt roads route is CLASSIFIED TOP SECRET, not kidding
DOE dude gives us a tour of the test range one day load cases of water in back of van drive to Mercury Nevada and stop at checkpoint inprocessed inside, get pictures taken and issued escorted visitor passes also required to wear radiation badges once inside get to see all that shit from The Hills Have Eyes, fake towns that were blown up with atomic bombs not as intact as they are portrayed in films though, they are pretty rekt or deconstructed show us a massive crater called the Sedan Crater in the 50's they experimented with using atomic bombs for mass excavation projects hoping they could just nuke the ground and build shit instead of fucking around with bulldozers pretty stupid and impractical but they didn't know any better back then they buried an atomic bomb a half a mile underground and blew it up Sedan Crater left behind as a result and the fucking thing is huge. they allegedly herded cattle down to the bottom of the crater afterwards to test the post fallout effects pretty fuckin savage, and it was actually stunning to look at two hour drive to Groom Lake though endless desert roads now see why we loaded the water, we’d be pretty fucked if the van broke down or got stuck get first distant look at the base without having to enter their checkpoints holyshit.mp4 very few people get to actually see what we are seeing to be honest though, looks like any other air force base I've ever seen except smaller besides the obvious fact that it is in the middle of bum fuck nowhere and its main runway is long as fuck also realize one of the reasons they didn't want us operating vehicles most roads are dirt and the entire lake bed is surrounded by "moon dust" everywhere moon dust is the ultra-fine sand found in certain parts of the desert with the consistency of flour it's also a total bitch to drive in and the security patrols getting stuck is a somewhat frequent occurrence told that they even have some of the AAFES fast food joints there that you find on any other base imagine working at a Burger King that you need a Top Secret security clearance for, how the fuck does that work??? noticed that despite being authorized to be here, we are still being watched by distant security patrols wonder if they know we are the bad guys that are going to be attacking the joint make some minor adjustments to the plan since the google earth pictures lack some detail conclude tour and take the 3 to 4 hour drive back home, most of us slept in the van
arrive at Creech next day and see that more WHITEBOX guys have been added to the mix, now there's like 20 of them for the past two weeks they have been inspecting the security contractors and its procedures you can tell a lot of them are ex-military based off of language and the people that are dipping and spiting in empty water bottles the mood is light, all of the exercise planning is finished, nothing to do the last two days we managed to borrow an empty hangar at Creech and used it as a mockup of our target hangar to run rehearsals no longer asking our insider questions about security, instead start asking completely ridiculous questions about conspiracies for lulz accuse some of them of being reptilians to see how they react, some of them get legit uncomfortable before you go sounding off, doubt they are hiding anything, some folks just don’t get military humor one does, however, and shows us a velcro patch that he wears on his rucksack it's one of those standard patches you spot on a pilot’s flight suit that has the name, rank, branch, and blood type his blood type seriously says reptilian it's obvious that they embrace and poke fun at the reputation this base has, in fact they thrive off of it
the day finally fucking arrives, time to attack this bitch wake up at 0400 and drive an hour to Creech dressed to kill decide to wear DCU "desert combat uniform" pants and a sand t shirt with my personally owned Blackhawk tactical vest to carry spare M4 mags sometimes the military issues some real shitty gear so our unit is somewhat lax and allows us to personally buy our own better equipment if it has command approved use and doesn't break SOPs also wear my empty gas mask pouch attached to my hip and use it to carry spare M82 .50 cal mags also wear a black turban for lulz that I bought off an ANA (Afghani Northern Alliance) dude downrange used to have a guile suite but it got lost on a deployment so that's a no go unfortunately arm up with an M4 with M68 red dot sight and attach a BFA "blank firing adapter" to the muzzle, and load six mags of .556 blanks also provided with my trusty Barret .50 M82 and five mags there is no BFA for the Barret that I'm familiar with so carry that with empty mags, guess I get to cheat with the weight load up in the vans with WHITEBOX team and drive another hour to Mercury get inprosscessed through security checkpoint and receive visitor badges for the test range drive another 2 hour on random roads passing more checkpoints /// REDACTED /// forced to surrender cell phones, personally owned electronic devices and CAC cards (military ID cards) again receive our escorted visitor passes for Groom Lake and now continue down some of the most forbidden roads in American history start unloading as close to our start point as the terrain allows and hump the rest of the distance on foot with our escorts suicide attack bro hangs back in the van with other escorts and is driven to his start point the terrain is favorable and allows us to set up out of sight hence why we chose the spot I break off and try to set up my nest at my chosen OP "observation point" as discreetly as possible not really stealthy cause I'm being followed by a guy wearing an orange reflective vest that says STAN EVAL and he's just casually walking he tells me to set up the Barret, but just simulate your shots by firing the M4 blanks now in a spot where I can observe base activity and provide cover fire for the breach, but I am also the most easy to spot sniper ever now wait for confirmation that our distraction on the other side has happened, taking a real long fucking time
my escort's radio chimes to life and starts talking "attention all WHITEBOX, we now have proper authentication via CASTLE ROCK for initiation of a detachment level exercise" voice on radio proceeds to spit out a long winded exercise safety briefing realize it's been about 40 minutes and we are just now fucking starting another 10 minutes and finally get word that suicide bro is approaching his target escorts all inform us that the security force is responding to reports of an explosion outside of the ECP later find out that suicide bro was stopped and challenged at gun point about 50 meters outside of ECP by a mounted patrol he then just fuck it and started sprinting towards the ECP until they opened fire with blanks and his escort set off the GBS he actually managed to take out the vehicle that stopped him and create several casualties (we gave him the heaviest explosive rocks loadout) overall our distraction was pretty fucking successful give it a another minute or two and finally start shooting and calling my shots to my escort/evaluator he's talking on his radio and relaying my simulated violence, "inform Merc-17 that they are dead from sniper fire" etc... I have predetermined targets to engage based off of what poses the biggest threat to the breach team I actually do some damage and get confirmation of casualties from my escort it's about a 600 meter run to the base perimeter in the open desert so it's on me to try and clear their path as much as I can the plan is to try to lure some security vehicles to our position then eliminate them with the Barret while they are en route the dead vehicles can then serve as points of cover for the breach team as they assault towards the base breach team was also aiming to see if they could snag any security radios from the dead patrols so we can monitor their comms didn't really work out that way however, in the end we simply didn't have all the info about the anticipated security response without giving away too many sensitive details, we all got ambushed by the security from unexpected locations forced to abandon my nest and the Barret to start moving towards another location to back up the breach team that was under fire trade some shots with security until my escort finally announces "ok dude, you're dead. go ahead and lay down" that's it, game over
play dead for about 20 minutes while security cleans up the area breach team gets rekt, we managed to get within 100 meters of the perimeter couple of security dudes approach me and perform a dead combatant body search on me it's a specific type of search designed to search a dead body while also checking for possible explosive booby traps pretend to be dead and let security dudes run my pockets finally one of the evaluators shouts "PauseEx" (pause exercise) we got fucking annihilated, no chance this attack was going to be successful our evaluators tell us that everyone did a great job, HOWEVER.... we are going to continue the exercise because they didn't get the chance to observe much of the internal security components we are going to resume the exercise assuming that we were actually able to get inside that target hangar this will give the evaluators the opportunity to observe the security's recap and recov procedures (re-capture and recovery) we all get magically resurrected from the dead I realize that I am actually going inside Groom Lake! Fucking Awesome...
spend about 15 minutes policing up the area for brass which means wandering around and picking up spent cartridges board vans and get driven around to ECP. realize that only half of the security force is playing in this exercise the rest are still armed with live weapons and are still performing regular protection duties forced to show our visitor passes, names and badge numbers are compared against a master list that the security has /// REDACTED /// /// REDACTED /// notice a homemade sign hanging on the wall at the security center it’s got a picture of an alien with a red X through it that says "no extraterrestrial entities or relics beyond this point" like I said earlier, everyone enjoys the reputation this base has drive to our target hangar, holy fuck! I am now inside Area 51 use of blanks not authorized indoors, everyone is told to clear out weapons rest of the exercise will use simulated firing, the equivalent of pointing your empty weapon at someone and yelling bang sadly not the first time I trained like this, military does it all the time it’s ridiculous and awkward every time, looks like a bunch of kids playing backyard soldiers with sticks security has already reset its posture, they know we are attacking but doesn't know the building we are hitting we all enter the hangar, get the impression that it doesn't actually get used IRL anymore reeks of mildew and no power inside, dust everywhere in the center there is a pickup truck covered with a tarp and roped off with red rope and stanchions, signs posted identifying it as a controlled area told that this is a simulated military asset and this is what we are sabotaging WHITEBOX evaluator pulls a box out of the bed of the truck remember when I said we will have to do a complex and time consuming task to simulate our act of sabotage? it’s a fucking Star Wars Lego kit! I shit you not! evaluators tell us we will need start building it and reach page 12 in the instructions without errors or mistakes kind of wish we went with our earlier plan and brought claymores cause I spotted some sweet chokepoints outside the building to set them up also wish we had the idea of bringing padlocks and chains so we could lock down the hangar and make life more difficult for the security force set up our spots to cover the doors, we are well versed with building clearing tactics so we know what spots to cover to make it hard
WHITEBOX evaluator authenticates over the radio with someone by passing letters and numbers back and forth, process known as sign/countersign voice on radio announces that the detachment level WHITEBOX exercise has resumed showtime! Two unit bros start opening the Lego kit and sorting parts me and the suicide bro weren't supposed to be in this hangar or even on the base to begin with so we don't have points to cover inside come up with idea and ask one of the escorts if we can go out the back on to the flightline plan to walk to two separate buildings in opposite directions and see if we can create distractions evaluators approve the plan, but tell us we can't approach or enter other buildings, nor approach any parked aircraft decide to leave firearms and my tac vest behind for clever reasons if we are unarmed the security will most likely apprehend us, and search us this is more time consuming than just shooting us and will keep them away from the hangar longer exit the back of the hangar on to the flightline and just start casually walking down the tarmac with my escort eventually hear the sound of police sirens in the distance getting louder, hear they come! get the urge to start sprinting but decide not to since it would most likely result in me being tackled on the pavement, fuck that later realize distant sirens are actually responding to hangar after reports of a silent alarm being received so much for the distraction plan
decide not to return to hangar since there is not much I can do unarmed, and continue walking down flightline all the parked aircraft I see are just normal military aircraft, although some do seem to have “enhancements” or cosmetic features that I haven’t seen before ask my escort where they keep all the flying saucers, he smirks and just replies "underground" wonder if there are actually any subterranean levels to this base, suppose a lot of these buildings could support that ask my escort if there are really underground levels, he facetiously says “who knows” white pickup truck with police lights approaching fast pretend not to notice and keep walking voice starts barking at me over a loudspeaker "stop right there! do not move! get your hands up! security mercs climbing out of vehicle with rifles drawn, don't see magazines in the riffles, they are part of the drill they actually try to challenge both of us, escort has to remind them that he is out of play security goons bark at me, "face away from me NOW! keep your hands up!" they are actually pretty intimidating, I comply proceed to have me lay on the ground face down with my arms and legs stretched out yell at me to put my hands in the small of my back, palms together, fingers up big black guy approaches me and actually puts his knee on my neck George Floyd style "don't fight me, don't resist me, or you are gonna get hurt" he says puts me in zip ties and picks me up, see other guards still have weapons drawn on me overall whole thing similar to a gangbanger getting rolled up by the cops black guy puts me in some weird and uncomfortable arm hold tells me to start walking while he steers my body with the arm hold and walks me off the flightline taken to a grassy area, get put back on the ground and searched and questioned /// REDACTED /// I try to bluff and say that the hangar will blow if anyone goes inside, see if that stalls them he tries to question me about it, but I can tell he’s not biting, I decide to tone it down and stay quiet cause the dude really looks like he’s going to fuck me up actually overhear his partner talking on the radio, he’s telling others to exercise caution and beware of possible explosive booby traps lights out, realize that someone put a bag over my head evaluator calls out "EndEX" (end exercise) all portions of the exercise are terminated, it's all over
black security guy cuts my zip ties, takes off the hood and sets me loose later find out that security retook the hangar with no problems my guys inside struggled with the Legos since it was so dark and hard to see instead of immediately going in, security tossed inert CS gas canisters inside none of us brought gas mask since it was something our insider failed to mention evaluator let us build legos for another 30 seconds then yelled “GAS, GAS, GAS” unit bros in the hangar were told to lay on the ground and pretend to be incapacitated security swarmed the place with gas mask and guns, kicked away weapons they got a similar treatment to what I received on the flightline and got hauled out of there we all regroup at the base's main visitor center for the AAR (after action review) overall security responded quite well, only some points were critiqued, nothing failing smoke cigarettes and crack jokes back and forth with the security dudes, finally get to see the human side of the guy who snagged me on the flightline tell him he’s one scary mofo, he smiles and we shake hands security dudes leave, head to base theater for full debrief WHITEBOX guys thank us for our participation, time to head home wait a sec, let’s see some fucking aliens WHITEBOX guy smirks and says he’ll give us the dollar tour another day drive back to Mercury knowing full well that we are not going to hear back from them, especially about a tour return radiation badges to the Mercury office told that if we never hear back from them that it’s a good sign told that if they do call us then our Tricare (military health coverage) will get put to good use whole experience was cool as fuck one of the evaluators hands out business cards for ///REDACTED/// and tells us to look them up when we separate from the military starting pay for the security force is pretty fucking dope and only certain military backgrounds are considered for it return to Indian Springs and hit up the casino for drinks with the original 5 WHITEBOX guys ask if any of the prior OPFOR units actually pulled it off and broke in told that a group of CCT guys from the 24th STS was the closest anyone’s ever gotten but even they still failed makes sense, I’ve heard that those dudes are legit operators tell war stories and get drunk actually receive a letter of appreciation from the Air Force Test Center Detachment 3 from Edwards Air Force Base, California about a month later it thanks me for my participation in an exercise but makes no mention of Groom Lake my participation in a vaguely worded “DOD exercise” actually gets mentioned as a bullet in my annual performance report mfw I attacked Area 51
tldr - me and my coworkers "broke" into Area 51 with automatic weapons so we could put together an X-wing starfighter out of Legos
Thanks for reading. I should mention that I have intentionally withheld a lot of details and even altered a few. I'm not trying to blow up anyone’s spot and compromise shit. Just wanted to share a true story about some cool shit I got to do in my youth. For example WHITEBOX is a completely fabricated name while the whole operation actually went under another random weird name. It still ranks as some of the most cloak and dagger shit I got to do in the military. I actually don’t really tell too many people because it is no one’s business and no one would believe me anyways. I finally figured that enough time has passed and like I said, I have specially tailored this story to avoid leaking any sensitive shit. Overall the base was actually kind of underwhelming. I didn’t really see any earth shattering secrets there. All of the alien and reptilian conspiracy theories were openly mocked and made fun of there. It’s really just a base that gets an extra layer of discreetness and physical security for more sensitive assets and projects to be kept there. The CIA, JSOC and other intel gangs from Washington even have offices out there because it’s just a quiet tucked away place to do business. I will say that their security is no joke and that they have some truly fascinating techniques to detect and deny intruders. Hope you enjoyed.

It's in the news and I've received emails from MGM and Caesars:
June 4th opening:

• MGM properties: Bellagio, New York-New York and MGM Grand. The Bellagio gardens have been updated from the Year of the Rat, to a "Japanese Spring" theme.
• Caesars properties: Caesars and Flamingo
• Boyd Properties: California, Fremont, Jokers Wild, Gold Coast, The Orleans
• Wynn/Encore Other properties opening June 4:
  
• Treasure Island
  
• Venetian
  
• The D/Golden Gate They are currently offering some free flights to get there. Most of the flights are already booked.
  
• Station casinos (except for Fiesta Rancho, Palms and Texas station, confirmed via website).
  
• El Cortez
  
• The Cosmopolitan
  
• Sahara
  
• The Strat
  

Golden Nugget will open 6/3 @ 3PM for hotel guest. Casino will open at 12:01AM on June 4. .
The Linq Promenade and restaurants in that area will also be open shortly.
OYO (formally Hooters) opening 7/1.

I am trying to collect bottle caps from as many CA-based based breweries as possible...I think I've bought all the individual ones currently available on eBay. Looking for recommendations on where I might be able to find more, whether for individual sale or in bulk. I even have a list of the breweries I'm still missing. I lived in CA for several years where my collection began. I'm trying to get bottle caps from 61 different breweries to fill a wooden map of CA. Currently I have 25.
I've posted in CaliforniaBeer as well, just looking for whatever recommendations are out there.
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Edit: Breweries I am currently looking for listed below
​

• 21st Amendment Brewery in San Leandro • Ale Industries in Oakland • Altamont Beer Works in Livermore • Buffalo Bill's Brewery in Hayward • Cleophus Quealy Beer Company in San Leandro • Diving Dog Brewhouse in Oakland • Drake's Brewing Company in San Leandro • Eight Bridges Brewing Company in Livermore • Faction Brewing in Alameda • Fieldwork Brewing Company in Berkeley • Hoi Polloi Brewpub and Beat Lounge in Berkeley • JP DasBrew in Fremont • Oakland United Beerworks (formerly Linden Street Brewery) in Oakland • Old Kan Beer & Co. in Oakland • The Rare Barrel in Berkeley • Shadow Puppet Brewing Company in Livermore • Triple Rock Brewery and Alehouse in Berkeley • Trumer Brauerei in Berkeley • Woods Bar & Brewery in Oakland • Working Man Brewing Company in Livermore 

Amador County

• Amador Brewing Company in Plymouth • Butte County • Sierra Nevada Brewing Company headquarters in Chico • Eckert Malting and Brewing in Chico • Feather Falls Casino Brewing Company in Oroville • Feather River Brewing Company in Magalia • NorCal Brewing in Chico • Secret Trail Brewing in Chico 

Contra Costa County

• Calicraft in Walnut Creek • Danville Brewing Company in Danville • E.J. Phair Brewing Company in Pittsburg • Farm Creek Brewing Company in Walnut Creek • Elevation 66 Brewing Company in El Cerrito • Schubros Brewery in San Ramon • Epidemic Ales in Concord • Ocean View Brew Works in Albany 

El Dorado County

• The Brewery at Lake Tahoe in South Lake Tahoe • Cold Water Brewery and Grill in South Lake Tahoe • Cool Beerwerks in Cool • El Dorado Brewing Company in Diamond Springs • Gold Hill Winery and Brewery in Placerville • HWY 50 Brewery in Camino • Jack Russell Farm Brewery in Camino • Lake Tahoe AleWorX in South Lake Tahoe • Mraz Brewing Company in El Dorado Hills • Outbreak Brewing Company in Placerville • Outpost Brewing Company in South Lake Tahoe • Placerville Brewing Company in Placerville • Sidellis Lake Tahoe in South Lake Tahoe • Solid Ground Brewing in Diamond Springs • South Lake Brewing Company in South Lake Tahoe • Stash Brewing Co. in Garden Valley • Stateline Brewery and Restaurant in South Lake Tahoe 

Fresno County

• The Mad Duck Craft Brewery in Fresno • Fresno Brewing Company in Fresno • Full Circle Brewing in Fresno • Pine & Palm Brewing in Fresno • Tactical OPS Brewing in Fresno • Tioga–Sequoia Brewing Company in Fresno 

Humboldt County

• Eel River Brewing Company in Fortuna • Redwood Curtain Brewing Company in Arcata • Six Rivers Brewery in McKinleyville 

Inyo County

• Mountain Rambler Brewery in Bishop 

Kern County

• Crusader Brewing in Bakersfield • Dionysus Brewing Company in Bakersfield • Great Change Brewing in Bakersfield • Kern River Brewing Company in Kernville • Lengthwise Brewing in Bakersfield • Local Craft Beer in Tehachapi • Temblor Brewing Company in Bakersfield 

Kings County

• Bird Street Brewing in Lemoore • Hop Forged Brewing Company in Hanford 

Lake County

• Kelsey Creek Brewing Company in Kelseyville
• Mount St. Helena Brewing Company in Middletown
• O'Meara Brothers Brewing Company in Lakeport

Los Angeles County

• Absolution Brewing Company in Torrance
• Alosta Brewing Co in Covina
• Ambitious Ales in Los Angeles
• Angel City Brewery in Los Angeles
• Beachwood BBQ and Brewery in Long Beach
• Belmont Brewing Company in Long Beach
• Bravery Brewing in Lancaster
• Brouwerij West in San Pedro
• Congregation Ale House in Azusa
• Cosmic Brewery in Torrance
• Claremont Craft Ales in Claremont
• The Dudes' Brewing Company in Torrance
• Eagle Rock Brewery in Los Angeles
• El Segundo Brewing Company in El Segundo
• Golden Road Brewery in Los Angeles
• Gordon Biersch Brewing Company in Burbank
• Hand-Brewed Beer in Chatsworth
• Homage Brewing in Pomona
• Kinetic Brewing Company in Lancaster
• King Harbor Brewing Company in Redondo Beach
• MacLeod Ale Brewing Company in Los Angeles
• MillerCoors brewery in Irwindale
• Monkish Brewing Company in Torrance
• Mumford Brewing in Los Angeles
• Ohana Brewing Company in Los Angeles
• Pacific Plate Brewing Company in Monrovia
• Progress Brewing in South El Monte
• Red Car Brewery in Torrance
• Skyscraper Brewing Company in El Monte
• Sanctum Brewing Company in Pomona
• Scholb Premium Ales in Torrance
• Strand Brewing Company in Torrance
• Timeless Pints Brewing Company in Lakewoo

Madera County

• South Gate Brewing Company in Oakhurst 

Marin County

• Adobe Creek Brewing in Novato • Indian Valley Brewing in Novato • Iron Springs Pub & Brewery in Fairfax • Marin Brewing in Larkspur • Moylan's Brewery in Novato • Pond Farm Brewing in San Rafael • The State Room in San Rafael 

Mariposa County

• Yosemite Ale Werks in Mariposa 

Merced County

• Bobcat Brewing Company in Merced 

Mono County

• Mammoth Brewing Company in Mammoth Lakes • June Lake Brewing in June Lake 

Monterey County

• Alvarado Street Brewery in Monterey • Cannery Row Brewing Company in Monterey • English Ales in Marina • Peter B's Brew Pub in Monterey • Yeast of Eden in Carmel 

Napa County

• Calistoga Inn, Restaurant and Brewing in Calistoga • Downtown Joe's Brewery in Napa • Mad Fritz in St. Helena • Napa Smith Brewery in Napa • St. Clair Brown in Napa • Tannery Bend Beerworks in Napa • Trade Brewing in Napa 

Nevada County

• FiftyFifty Brewing Company in Truckee • Nevada Brewery in Nevada City • Ol' Republic Brewery in Nevada City • Tahoe Mountain Brewing Company in Truckee • Three Forks Bakery & Brewing Company in Nevada City 

Orange County

• Anaheim Brewery in Anaheim • Barley Forge Brewing Company in Costa Mesa • Brewing Reserve of California in Costa Mesa • Bootlegger's Brewery in Fullerton and Costa Mes • Bottle Logic Brewing, Anaheim • Cismontane Brewing Company in Santa Ana • The Good Beer Company in Santa Ana • Green Cheek Beer Company in Orange • Gunwhale Ales in Costa Mesa • Laguna Beach Beer Company in Rancho Santa Margarita and Laguna Beach • Left d Brewing Company in San Clemente and Irvine • Network Brewery in Santa Ana • Noble Ale Works in Anaheim • Old Orange Brewing Company in Orange • Riip Beer Company in Huntington Beach • TAPS Brewery & Barrel Room in Tustin • Tustin Brewing Company in Tustin • Valiant Brewing Company in Orange 

Placer County

• Auburn Alehouse in Auburn • Boneshaker Public House and Community Brewery in Rocklin • Crooked Lane Brewing Company in Auburn • GoatHouse Brewing Company in Lincoln • Knee Deep Brewing Company in Auburn • Loomis Basin Brewing Company in Loomis • Moksa Brewing in Rocklin • Moonraker Brewing Company in Auburn • Out of Bounds Brewing Company in Rocklin • Slice Beer Company in Lincoln • The Monk's Cellar in Roseville 

Plumas County

• The Brewing Lair of the Sierra (formerly UnderCover Ale Works) • Waganupa Brewing in Chester • Quintopia Brewing Co in Quincy 

Riverside County

• Aftershock Brewing Company in Temecula • Area 51 Craft Brewery in Riverside • Babe's BBQ & Brewhouse in Rancho Mirage • Black Market Brewing Company in Temecula • Brew Rebellion in Banning • Brewcaipa Brewing in Yucaipa • Coachella Valley Brewing in Thousand Palms • Desert Beer Company in Palm Desert • Electric Brewing Company in Murrieta • Grey Wolf in Norco • Inland Empire Brewing Company in Riverside • Ironfire Brewing Company in Temecula • La Quinta Brewing in Palm Desert • Las Palmas Brewing in Palm Springs • Refuge Brewery in Temecula • Wiens Brewing Company in Temecula • Woody's Brewhouse in Moreno Valley 

Sacramento County

• Alaro Brewing in Sacramento • At Ease Brewing in Sacramento • Big Sexy Brewing in Sacramento • Big Stump Brew Co. in Sacramento • Burning Barrel Brewing in Rancho Cordova • Claimstake Brewing in Rancho Cordova • Delta Borne Brewing in Sacramento • Device Brewing Company in Sacramento • Dreaming Dog Brewery in Elk Grove • Flatland Brewing in Elk Grove • Fort Rock Brewing in Rancho Cordova • Fountainhead Brewing in Sacramento • Hoppy Brewing Co in Sacramento • King Cong Brewing Company in Sacramento • New Glory Craft Brewery in Sacramento • New Helvetia Brewing in Sacramento • Oak Park Brewing in Sacramento • Palm Tree Brewing Company in Orangevale • Porchlight Brewing in Sacramento • Red Bus Brewing in Folsom • River Rock Brewery in Galt • Sacrament Brewing in Sacramento • Tower Brewing in Sacramento • Track 7 Brewing Company in Sacramento • Tilted Mash Brewing in Elk Grove • Urban Roots Brewing in Sacramento 

San Bernardino County

• 3 Iron Brewing Co. in Colton • Brewcaipa in Yucaipa • Desert Barn Brewery in Hesperia • Escape Craft Brewery in Redlands • Hangar 24 Craft Brewery in Redlands • I & I Brewing in Chino • Kings Brewing in Rancho Cucamonga • Oak Hills Brewing Company in Hesperia • Ritual Brewing Co. in Redlands • Rowdy's Brew Co. in Rancho Cucamonga • Sour Cellars in Rancho Cucamonga 

San Francisco City and County

• 21st Amendment Brewery • Barrel Head Brewhouse • Beach Chalet Brewery & Restaurant • Black Sands Brewery • Black Hammer Brewing • Cellarmaker Brewing Company • Cervezería de MateVeza • Eagle Brewery • Enterprise Brewery • Fort Point Beer Company • Golden City Brewery • Hamm's Brewer • Harmonic Brewing • Hibernia Brewery • Laughing Monk Brewing • Lafayette Brewery • Local Brewing Company • Magnolia Brewing Company • Schuster's Railroad Brewery • Seven Stills • Southern Pacific Brewing • Speakeasy Ales and Lagers • Sunset Reservoir Brewing Company • Thirsty Bear Brewing Company • Triple Voodoo Brewing • Washington Brewery • Willow's Brewery 

San Joaquin County

• Dancing Fox Winery and Brewery in Lodi • Five Window Beer Company in Lodi • High Water Brewing Company in Lodi • Idol Beer Works in Lodi • Lodi Beer Company in Lodi • Morgan Territory Brewing in Tracy 

San Luis Obispo County

• 927 Beer Company in Cambria • BarrelHouse Brewing Co. in Paso Robles • Libertine Brewing Company in San Luis Obispo • Tap It Brewing Company in San Luis Obispo 

San Mateo County

• 47 Hills Brewing in South San Francisco • Alpha Acid Brewing Company in Belmont • Armstrong Brewing Company in South San Francisco • Blue Oak Brewing Company in San Carlos • Devil's Canyon Brewing Company in Belmont • Freewheel Brewing Company in Redwood City • Half Moon Bay Brewing Company in Princeton-by-the-Sea • Highway 1 Brewing in Pescadero • Hop Dogma Brewing in El Granada • Sacrilege Brewery + Kitchen in Half Moon Bay 

Santa Barbara County

• Captain Fatty's Brewery in Goleta • Island Brewing Company in Carpinteria • M. Special Brewing Company in Goleta • Pure Order Brewing Company in Santa Barbara • Solvang Brewing Company in Solvang • Telegraph Brewing Company in Santa Barbara 

Santa Clara County

• Clandestine Brewing in San Jose • El Toro Brewing Company in Morgan Hill • Gordon Biersch Brewing Company in San Jose • Hermitage Brewing Company in San Jose • Kelly Brewing in Morgan Hill 

Santa Cruz County

• Discretion Brewing in Soquel • Humble Sea Brewing Company in Santa Cruz • New Bohemia Brewing Company in Capitola • Santa Cruz Mountain Brewing in Santa Cruz • Sante Adairius Rustic Ales in Capitola • Seabright Brewery in Santa Cruz • Steel Bonnet Brewing Company in Scotts Valley • Uncommon Brewers in Santa Cruz 

Shasta County

• Fall River Brewing Co. in Fall River Mills • Wildcard Brewing in Redding • Final Draft Brewing in Redding • Woody's Brewing Co. in Redding 

Siskiyou County

• Dunsmuir Brewery Works in Dunsmuir • Etna Brewing Company in Etna • Mt. Shasta Brewing Company in Weed • Siskiyou Brew Works 

Solano Countu

• Heretic Brewing Company in Fairfield • Right Eye Brewery in Suisun • Mare Island Brewing Company in Vallejo 

Sonoma County

• Carneros Brewing Company in Sonoma • Fog Belt Brewing Company in Santa Rosa • Moonlight Brewing Company in Santa Rosa • Old Redwood Brewing Company in Windsor • Petaluma Hills Brewing Company in Petaluma • Seismic Brewing Company in Santa Rosa • Sonoma Springs Brewing Company in Sonoma • St. Florian's Brewery in Windsor • Stumptown Brewery in Guerneville • Third Street Aleworks in Santa Rosa 

Stanislaus County

• St. Stan's Brewery in Modesto • Blaker Brewing in Ceres 

Ventura County

• Anacapa Brewing in Ventura • Casa Agria Specialty Ales in Ventura • Enegren Brewing Co. in Moorpark • Flat Fish Brewing Company in Camarillo • Institution Ale Co. in Camarillo • Leashless Brewing Co. in Ventura • MadeWest Brewing in Ventura • Poseidon Brewing Company in Ventura • Red Tandem Brewery in Ventura • Surf Brewery in Ventura • Topa Topa Brewing Company in Ventura • Ventura Coast Brew Co. in Ventura • Westlake Brewing Co. in Westlake Village 

Yolo County

• Bike Dog Brewing Company in West Sacramento • Dunloe Brewing in Davis • Jackrabbit Brewing Company in West Sacramento • Super Owl Brewing in Davis • Three Mile Brewing Company in Davis • Yolo Brewing in West Sacramento 

San Diego County

• Burgeon Beer Company • Carlsbad Brewing Company • Pizza Port • Rouleur Brewing Company • Offbeat Brewing Co • Nickel Beer Company • Bagby Beer Company • Legacy Brewing Company • Breakwater Brewing Co • Oceanside Ale Works • ChuckAlek Independent Brewers • Abnormal Beer Company • Acoustic Ales Brewing Experiment • Align Brewing • Amplified Aleworks • The Beer Company • Deft Brewing • Division 23 Brewing • Duck Foot Brewing Company • Eppig Brewing • Fall Brewing • Kilowatt Brewing • Little Miss Brewing • Longship Brewery • Mike Hess Brewing Co. • Mikkeller • Mission Brewery • Modern Times Beer • New English Brewing Co. • North Park Beer Company • O'Sullivan Brother's Brewing • Pacific Beach Alehouse • Pariah Brewing Company • Protector Brewing • Rip Current Brewing • Rough Draft Brewing Company • Saint Archer Brewing • San Diego Brewing Company • Savagewood • Societe Brewing Company • Thorn Street Brewery • Thunderhawk Alements • Lost Abbey • Port Brewing Company • Rip Current Brewing Company • Stumblefoot Brewing Company • Wild Barrel Brewing Company • Aztec Brewing Company • Barrel Harbor Brewing • Belching Beaver Brewery • Booze Brothers Brewing Company • Indian Joe Brewing Company • Latitude 33 Brewing • Mother Earth Brew Co. • Toolbox Brewing 

Culture Brewing Co

PART ONE OF FIVE
So, you wanna go to SHOT show? You think it's all fun and games? Get to play with guns? See Jesse James and James Yeager? SHOT show is the annual pilgrimage of the unwashed masses to Las Vegas to rub elbows with youtube celebrities, bloggers and overseas businessmen copying US made equipment and share infectious disease.
If you love guns, gambling and gonorrhea - SHOT show is for you! It is not my typical idea of a good time. I am not a big fan of Las Vegas.
However: I do attend for a few reasons. First, I do enjoy travel and I'm gold on UA so I can usually score an upgrade. Second, industry people are in there that I do hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars with business with so it's nice to put a face with the name and see what deals are out there. SHOT for me has been a bust for the past few years. Being a value guy, I want to buy at $1000 and sell at $3000 and as of recently the gun business is more like buy for $1 and sell for $1.10 if you get what I mean.
We used to do business at SHOT and now it's just checking in on foursquare, instagram and rubbing elbows with bloggers and the like. I want to make money, not spend money so this is very annoying to me.
Anyways, onto the play by play.
Saturday, January 19th. Three days before SHOT show.
I talk a friend of mine to drive me to the airport after I drop my F350 at the body shop. I had a hit and run and someone totally fucked up all my paint and clearcoat. My guy says he can get it done while I'm gone for SHOT so I hitch a ride with a friend and pick up the tab for lunch. We have brisket. It is delicious. I get to the airport 3 hours early for my flight just in case the TSA line is a shitshow thanks to, well TSA. The government shutdown is not helping these folks. I have pre check and much to my surprise I breeze right through after a brief 3 minute wait.
I slog my way to the lounge, as shitty as it is to wait for my winged chariot to IAH. I have gone from being in an abusive relationship with AA to being in an abusive relationship with UA. Although if you really want to experience the battered spouse feeling, NK is a few gates over.
I board my flight to IAH and my Renton assembled chariot is on time and boarding early. The hate agent scans my pass and the alarms go off and spits off a new boarding pass. I have been upgraded to first class. You all will be turning right, I will be turning left once I pass the threshold of 2L on this old 757. I'll take a cleared upgrade at the gate any day of the week considering that I am 29/53 for Bush to LAX.
Fuck my life.
I gate check my bags to make life easier for me and the rest of the folks riding with me. If I don't have to worry about being short on time at my destination, I like to gate check to free up bins for those who are not as fortunate. Eventually I board and ask the FA to say hi to the captain and get a ride report. She says no problem. I step down into the 757 flight deck and take some selfies with the crew. They appreciate my aviation nerdery. They tell me that there will be light chop all over texas today and we're going to have some bumps so strap in and don't be a hero.
Having brightened the day of the flight crew, I head back to my lie flat window seat, fully recline and kick back and relax by listening to channel 9 on the IFE. It's disabled. Fuck. I put on a movie and watch the delightful Tag with the always excellent Jon Hamm, Ed Helms and others. It's a good movie and made me laugh. Just as we get to the gate the credits roll.
We land at Bush right on time but I have a 59 minute spa layover I had planned OR I can go to Landrys with my priory pass and get some blackened snapper. Do I hightail it to the Centurion lounge in terminal D, my home away from home? Or go for fresh grilled seafood?
This centurion lounge does not have a spa. Fuck it, lets go cajun. I walk over to Landrys and order the blackened snapper. It is delicious. The kitchen is a little behind so they box it up the rest of it for me to take on the plane which they don't have to do and I leave the waitress a nice tip. I am sweating from the blackened seasoning. I don't care. NOM NOM NOM. Fish is delish.
They have already started boarding to LAX as I walk up to the gate. I ask the hate agent if there's any upgrades. She says first is checked in full and we are 100% packed to LAX today. I thank her and board my bulkhead seat to LAX with my blackened snapper in one hand and personal item in the other.
Giving the FA a friendly nod, I ask to say hi to the captain and she says no way boss, we're busy - sit down and shut up.
Rude.
The boarding door closes for an on time departure and I watch another classic - Wall Street!
I polish off the blackened snapper, dirty rice and green beans. Charlie Sheen before he went crazy was a pretty good actor. He's so dreamy. I'm sweating profusely from the blackened seasoning and get up to throw away my trash because I didn't want the other guys in coach to have to do it for me. I walk right up to the forward galley into Bitchy McBitchface who woke up on the wrong side of life starts telling me to use the coach lavatory. I tell her I just wanted to throw some trash away and she gave me more attitude than a sassy black woman working at the DMV.
Listen lady, if you don't wanna be dealing with trash - maybe you shouldn't be working for United, eh?
I take my seat and I fall asleep on the way to LA. The ride is smoother than my nephew's 16 month old ass. The flight was not long enough. The landing is a perfect grease job on 24R and the only thing awakening me from my slumber is the reversers on the 737 Max. I pull my headset out so I can tune in LAX ground on LiveATC just as we make the left for taxiway Alpha/Alpha. I see the taxiway signs out of the corner of my window and start the feed just as I hear the ding.
ding
What I'm expecting: Welcome to Los Angeles where the local time is 5:55. Your Houston based flight crew would like to thank you for flying United and your baggage will be at carousel (integer)
What I heard from a clearly panic stricken FA: IF THERE IS A DOCTOR OR ANYONE WITH MEDICAL TRAINING ON BOARD PLEASE RING YOUR CALL BUTTON.
Everyone wants to be a hero until it's time to do hero shit.
I reach up and press the button and a single chime tells the FA that row 9 pressed button.
ding
FA: If you are a doctor or have medical training please head to the rear galley immediately.
I dumped my phone in my seat. (This was my first mistake. I'll tell you why later.)
Shit. It's go time. The passengers next to me are soundly asleep and it's a full flight, so I unbuckle my belt and turnstile jump over the two of them making a resounding thud onto the cabin floor.
I promptly walked with a purpose to the rear cabin. As I'm heading back I hear someone else walking behind me but I'm focused on the long walk from the bulkhead to the rear galley. I arrive shortly and my immediate impression is that the rear galley is not in good shape.
Oh, the bitchface FA that told me off? She's now profusely thanking me for showing up. Funny how that works isn't it?
There's a woman lying across three jumpseats on oxygen screaming in pain with a clearly experienced physician working on her and checking her out. I am not about to get in his way. Right behind me is a six foot three beast of a man who I can only imagine used to play right wing for Detroit. Doc 1 is working her, there's me and Doc 2 is behind me.
Doc 1 tells us she's got shortness of breath and chest pains.
Doc 2 nods and says he's a trauma surgeon from Cedars Sinai.
Doc 1 tells us he's an internal medicine specialist at UCLA.
Doc 2 asks me what my specialty is.
FC says structural firefighting and making sure you two get everything you need.
Doc 2 looks at the FA and asks if they got an AED on board.
I look up at the nearest overhead and there's an AED in the compartment, I bust it out and hand it to him. They start sizing her up as we taxi down Alpha/Alpha. I stand in the aisle inbetween the two bathroom doors as they do their thing ready to help out.
(FC breaks the fourth wall)
FOR THE UNINITIATED: United is in terminals 7/8 on the south side of LAX. When you land next to In-and-Out Burger on Sepuldeva you're on the north side of the field. It's easily a 20 minute ride to get from one side of the airport to another when they're busy. Prime time for LAX is 1800hrs because you have all the morning flights from the east and the afternoon flights from the central time zone arriving.
When you have a medical emergency and time is a factor, a 20 minute ride to the gate is what we call sub optimal. There's hard stand/remote gates at LAX on the northwest side of the field surface street adjacent that you can get to a lot faster than a long haul around the airport. If you give me a choice of going to the hard stand and meeting the ambulance or taking a 15-20 minute taxi during rush hour to a UA staffed ramp - I will GLADLY take to the hard stand, shut down and start em up. Yes, it's going to inconvenience a plane full of people for 20 minutes for you to unload, restart and taxi back. No, I give zero fucks.
My mistake was leaving my phone behind. Had I had it with me, I would have known we were going long way around and applied some intervention techniques to get things moving faster. I had no idea where we were.
(Cut to present)
Doc 1 managed the best he could and the lady said inbetween raspy breaths that she was going to start vomiting from the pain. Doc calls for a bag. The FA takes the safety equipment bag, the one holding the lifevest, seatbelt extender and oxygen mask and empties it.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE. I reach over to the nearest passenger, pull all the contents of the seatback out, dump it on the floor and hand doc 1 a United brand official airsick bag. Just as I do this and I step back, the plane rapidly slows down and begins to turn.
(FC breaks the fourth wall again)
I used the term suboptimal earlier, and this is going to be a theme for the rest of the trip. Boeing in their infinite wisdom decided to stretch a 737 design and call it the MAX instead of doing a clean sheet. Three FA's, two doctors, me, and our lady experiencing chest pains are in the rear galley all not wearing seatbelts. All but the patient are standing. We are something like 80 feet behind the main landing gear.
Inertia is not our friend today. I start falling and I grab the only thing I can on the way down: the door handle to the lavatory.
(Cut to present)
Next thing I know, I've experienced what the FAA would probably term a "Lavatory Incursion" - and I wonder where my life has gone wrong as my knee has hit the toilet bowl. I get back up and prop a hand up on the cabin ceiling just to steady myself for the rest of the ride to the gate.
I look towards the front of the plane and notice something. Some fuckwit in row 29 is livestreaming this on instagram or some crap. Are you fucking shitting me? I lean over to the purser and tell her that while Doc 1 and 2 are fixing her, I'm gonna go do some fixing of my own about 10 rows up. My resting bitch face is on point right now as I walk up to the tactless millennial inconsiderate smartphone user and get ready to fix this problem in a way honed by years of catholic school, brute force and dealing with shithead customers.
FC: Just what do you think you're doing?
1: I'm livestreaming this on twitter. It's my right.
FC: You're gonna delete whatever you filmed right now.
1: Or what are you gonna do about it?
FC: You see that FA over there? The one that looks like she's not taking any shit from anybody today? I'm gonna ask her for the intercom, I'm gonna call the captain and my friends over at the LAPD are gonna haul your ass in front of a judge and the next place you're gonna be livestreaming from is the back of a police car. And let me tell you something you might not know. There's two ways to enjoy LA Jail on a Saturday night. One's a Richard Pryor album. The other's when a skinny inked up ginger white boy like you walks in. Give me that goddamn phone.
I'm handed the phone and I delete the video as I walk back to the rear galley and put it in my back pocket. People are now asking if they're gonna make their connections and shit and I tell them to shut up, we've got more important things going on. As I walk back I peek through the windows seeing nothing but darkness. How long does it take to get to the gate? And even then, is there an ambulance waiting there?
What the fuck is happening? Where the fuck are we?
I ask Bitch McBitchface how long these symptoms have been going on. Apparently this issue had just arisen upon landing. Doc 1 asks for a stethoscope. I pull down the first aid kit from the compartment. It requires keys. The cabin crew has to find the keys for the first aid kit. I'm eventually handed a key and bust out a stethoscope for the doc. I peer out the window of the rearmost seats looking for signs of a gate, ambulance or anything I can reference to figure out where we are - the tower, a 777 tail which would tell me we are nearing the international terminal.....nothing but darkness.
This is not good.
Doc keeps the O2 flowing as we are all standing there helpless waiting for the plane to get to the ambulance or vice versa. The cabin crew asks how they're going to get her off the plane.
FC: Well she's in no condition to walk, can you get the rampers to put air stairs on 2L and take her off that way? It would be easier and optimal.
FA: I don't think we are able to do that
(It is at this point I think I smell toast. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T DO THAT? GET ON THE INTERCOM AND TELL THE CAPTAIN THAT THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE HER OFF THE PLANE VIA 2L AND STAIRS WTF)
I get that what is happening is clearly exceeding the crew's training but this is.....bad. Eventually we arrive at the gate and the fine folks at Station 51 from LAFD EMS arrive. The EMT sizes it up and calls for an aisle chair to be brought to take her off the plane since she can't walk. (WE HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS THE WHOLE TIME!)
They load her up and I step out of the way into the lavatory, I see them wheel her out through a crack in the door. I take this chance to do a bit from spies like us.
I look to my left and extend my hand. Doctor. I nod. I repeat to the right. They also repeat the bit. We chuckle.
I look towards Doc 2.
FC: Hey Docs, I didn't catch your names. I'm Will. Will Hayden.
Doc 2: George, George Rodriguez.
FC: Good work there Dr Rodriguez. Thanks for helping out.
Doc 2: We're doctors. It's what we do.
Doc 1: Hiya Will, I'm Charlie Fong.
FC: Nice work today Dr Fong. Thank you for showing up.
We start walking back to our seats as I snort out a laugh.
FC: So, Dr Fong.....I guess it's safe to say that United has successfully smoothed things over with the Asian physician community?
The doc's have a two Mississippi awkward pause as they begun laughing hysterically. Please, tip your waitresses. Try the veal. I'm here all night. Tactless millennial asks me to return phone, and I hand it back as we walk back to our seats.
EMS clears the plane, captain tells people that they can now leave and a cacophony of seat belt buckles pierces the high pitched drone that is a 737 sitting at the gate without engines running on shore power.
I ask Bitchy if I can see the captain on the way out as she once more thanks me for my service. She stuck her head in, got a nod and let me pass. I asked the captain why we landed on the north side of the field with an onboard medical and why we didn't get priority handling from the ground controller and why the hell it took so long to get to the gate.
His response was staggering.
CA: We didn't even know there was an emergency in the galley until the FA told us. By then we were almost to the terminal.
FC: Are you fucking kidding me?
CA: Nope. By the time we knew something was going on we were already on the ground and almost to the gate.
We talk airplane briefly about the 737 Max, the new jumpseats and I wish them a good rest of the trip. I secretly think he's got to be shitting me.
Being a good aviation nerd, I made mental note to check his work after I got back to the hotel.
I head to the lounge in LAX for a bite to eat, a sprite and some very boring time to myself. Just as I walk into the terminal there's a voicemail from my uncle. My plan for LA was to see my family - and my cousin and his wife who's pregnant with their second kid. I crash at my uncle's house in Pasadena and walk around old town and shop at Vromans Bookstore and enjoy all that Southern California has to offer. It's a good way to spend a weekend. If you ever get a chance, do it. It's fun. I can pay United a shitload of money to fly into McCarran on Monday or I can spend 1/3 of that and go into LAX a few days before and hop over for $45. I love LA.
NEW VOICEMAIL FROM UNCLE LOU: Family emergency, we all have to head to Chicago because Lisa's mom is in the hospital and we can't see you this weekend. You're on your own. I'm on my way to Burbank to catch the last flight to Midway. Talk to you later.
Fuck.
Time for an FC adventure.
I order some food in the lounge and crack open the laptop. One of my customers works for LAFD. I find his personal cell phone number in my sales records.
ring ring
1: Go for Smith
FC: Chief Smith! Will Hayden here! How's that M110 running?
1: Will...holy shit long time no talk. What's going on?
FC: Family bailed on me for this weekend, gotta make my own adventure. You working tomorrow? I'd love to see how LA does things.
1: No, but I have some friends on C shift that are. Let me see who's gonna be around. Let me call you back in 10.
FC: You got it Chief.
I eat and drink and relax and the phone rings back. Chief smith says be at station 9 at 0800 hrs Sunday morning. I say no problem! Thanks! He tells me to check in with the captain of the truck crew and he'll show me around.
While I'm on the laptop I book the marriott in Torrance. It's near the airport and a 25 minute ride to station 9. Little did I know it's next to a goddamn oil refinery and the housekeeping staff have left all the windows to my room open. Ugh. I kick back and take a shower. When I get back, I pulled all the ATC tape from LAX tower, from landing clearance to touchdown to the ground controller handoff to the checkpoint, to the request for medical assistance and timestamped all of it.
The request to LAX ground for EMS was made somewhere on taxiway bravo after passing papa (TBIT) but before Charlie-6. (T7). By that time we were already on the south side of the field and terminal adjacent.
Cabin crew didn't tell the captain to request EMS till we got to the other side of the fucking airport. From the moment I walked up, I had assumed (incorrectly) that prior to the request for medical assistance they would at least have told the captain what was going on. They didn't and he was flying blind. When you do a CPR class the first thing you do is call 911 and ask for an ambulance because it does not matter how much CPR you do if an ambulance never shows up to take you to the hospital.
There's a lesson to be learned here.
When seconds count, the request for EMS is waiting for the plane to get to the terminal to be called.
I knew United wasn't great, but this is to use a southern california term - no bueno.
The Westchester In and Out Burger has a 4x4 with my name on it and it is DELICIOUS. After I finish eating I hop on the hangout with the guys.
Since I've got no plans till morning I decide that it's worth the crazy time and I call u/gunexpert69 and we make plans to hang out at his local watering hole. We then try to pick up some flight attendants at the Doubletree. We fail miserably and call it a night.
Sunday, January 20th. Two days before SHOT show.
My alarm is set for 727AM. It rings, I wash up, jump in the car and put free fallin by Tom Petty on the radio and hop onto 405 south to pick up 110 north. The freeways are empty and I make incredible time downtown. I look down at the address and wonder where the fuck I am going. 7th and San Julian St? I drive around and there are tents on the sidewalk everywhere. This is the closest I have seen to life in a WROL situation. Eventually I find a spot on 7th street, bang on the door and the guys tell me to pull my car into the back lot. I do so and the guys are having breakfast and invite me to sit down and grab a bite.
When in Rome......
I grab some eggs, bacon and a biscuit and the truck captain comes by and says oh you know Smith? Apparently they came up in the same academy class and are old friends. He sticks his head out the door and yells at one of the guys and pantomimes some instructions. I don't speak ASL so I just nod and take it in. He runs down what they're doing today. LA tradition is that weekends are for the boys so they do training on weekends. It's 820AM and they've setup a training scenario and are gonna run it. This looks cool.
One of the guys comes back and hands me a headset, saladbowl and turnout coat. Captain says you're with me in the truck. Gear up.
Uh. What?
CA: Yeah, Chief Smith said you'd be riding along with us today. Right?
FC: LOL! I thought he was just gonna do a station visit. Sure, I'll ride with you guys.
CA: You ever see a TDA before?
FC: I used to be on the engine or the quint so this is gonna be new.
CA: Well, jump in. Lets go.
My ride to LA was a 737 max made in Renton that just came off the line January 17th. My ride to Skid Row was a 100' Pierce Arrow XT Tractor Drawn Aerial that was three years old. I hopped in and we drove around to the training location where the guys were to setup the ladder and pretend like they were venting a roof on a 5 story building. I was told to go shadow the command post as they'd be evaluating the guys and they had a good training day. LA has a good group of people and it shows. They did a post training debrief, simulated a dry hydrant and talked about everything they did, everything they did badly and everything they could do better.
LA has some fantastic people there that are very talented. The guys started putting tools away and rolling hose. I find the captain over on one of the engines and ask him if they need help with anything. He says if you want to help out, we're breaking down that attack line you can drain it.
FC: You guys straight roll to a flat load right?
CA: Yeah. You know hose?
FC: Drivers do it with hose.
CA: LOL! Hadn't heard that one before! Here's some gloves.
He gave me some gloves, I straight rolled three sections of three quarter line and hauled it all back to the engine where I found the truck captain loading hose with his guys. If anyone wants to see where real leadership is, it's helping your guys load hose and pack up tools.
I hook up and look up as I notice their technique. LA flat loads all their attack line, no preconnects. Two guys in the bed dressing and dutching it, one guy on the ground, straight roll between the boots pulling hose straight up into the engine. Gets any residual water out and they can check the gaskets every length. Never seen that done before but it looks like a smooth technique. I hook up the last of their attack line as the guys finish packing up. The bells come in and there's an automatic fire alarm tripped. First call of the morning. We hop over there and its' a false alarm.
The rest of the day is spent with station 9 watching the various indigenous folks of Skid Row do their thing. Station 9 is the busiest fire station in the nation. Before lunch they ran 3 overdoses, 2 stabbings, and a cacophany of crap. I went with them and their ambulance drivers and EMT's really earn every dollar they make working this area. After a quick break for lunch, they start watching the Rams game. Just as it got good, bells came in for another few calls and next thing I knew - the Rams were going to the super bowl and the dinner bell was ringing.
I decided it would be overstaying my welcome to hang out for dinner so I packed up and bought a shirt and told the guys if they ever needed guns to shout at me. Drove over to Grand Central Market to get a bite to eat and then grabbed some in and out burger on my way back to the hotel. txgi is sloshed and in no position to travel after watching the patriots destroy KC.
It's been a crazy day and the beginning of a crazy trip. And it's just getting started.
Monday, January 21st. One day before SHOT Show
I wake up late, grab lunch at the Del Amo mall and do some shopping. My flight to McCarran leaves at 7PM and arrives just after 8PM. Knowing rush hour traffic in LA I decide to leave early and get to the airport at 430. I hightail it to the lounge in TBIT and grab a bite to eat and relax. I'm on an Alaska A320 to McCarran all the way in the back but at least I got a window seat. I stop in on the way to talk to the captain and he asks me a bunch of gun questions. I tell him the VP9 is good to go and he should buy it with his ATP credentials.
The 320 ride to LAS is entirely filled with moderate chop. The airplane is literally banging the side of the plane into my head. It is a miserable flight. We land on time and I am unable to stop at the Centurion lounge for a bite and a drink because it's closed for renovations.
I grab my bags and pick up my badge for SHOT Show at the airport and jump on the shuttle bus to Hertz. I reserved a compact knowing I'd need to be in and out of a tight parking garage. I get to my assigned spot, spot 13 and there's a fullsize Chevy Suburban there.
What the fuck is this?
I throw my bags inside, jump in and drive right up to the Gold Member service area.
FC: The lady on the phone asked me compact, midsize or fullsize - WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
Hertz: That's the Hertz Love Wagon! Think of all the ladies you can drive around in this!
FC: DO I LOOK LIKE A GODDAMN LYFT FOR WORKING GIRLS?
It is at this point where I learn something.
The best part about Vegas is anything crazy or unbelievable can be explained or justified by shrugging your shoulders, opening your palms upward and saying "It's Vegas!"
Hertz: It's Vegas!
FC: I am not driving (gesticulates widlly) THIS into the parking garage of the Palazzo for 4 days straight!
Hertz is not impressed with my pantomime.
They find me a brand new 2019 Honda Pilot with 19 miles on it. I hightail it up the highway to Circus Circus. Check in line is totally deserted. I am able to haul my bags up and get keys in 3 minutes flat. That's gotta be a fucking record.
Just as I arrive at my room I decide to send Rusty Shackleford a picture of me looking grumpy in front of the hertz love wagon.
RS: ARE YOU IN VEGAS?!?!?!??!?!?
FC: YES!!!! WHY ARE WE YELLING?!?!?!??!?
(image of Rusty coming down the escalator with the sign behind him that says WELCOME TO LAS VEGAS in the background)
FC: Oh dear god. I just got to the hotel to dump off my bags, you want a ride? I can be there in 20.
RS: Nah man we just landed a few min ago I was gonna take an uber
FC: By the time you get to the rideshare area it'll be 20 minutes. I can be there by the time you get to the curb. Seriously.
RS: LOL okay head over!
I look at my watch. Las Vegas Blvd traffic on a monday night? This isn't gonna work. I grab my coat and run back to the parking garage and tear out of the CC garage tires squealing all the way down. I bang a left onto Sammy Davis Jr Drive and haul ass to Spring mountain where I jump on 15 and get the car up to 100MPH between mandalay bay and 215.
McCarran Airport SUCKS in many regards and the airport pickup is one of them. It's not laid out well at all but it makes the cabbies plenty of money. I find it kinda funny because this year I'm picking up Rusty. Last year I was picking up a coworker of a buddy of mine who needed his SHOT show pass and there was no way to get it to him that night so I just said fuck it, give me the pass and I'll get it to him and drive him to the hotel. The year before, I picked up u/fluffy_butternut.
I guess I am the world's worst uber driver. I like doing the same bit over and over again like beating a dead horse so I can pickup Rusty one of to ways.
A: The classic Las Vegas Airport pickup. Drive to airport and park car on curb. Wait for metro PD to start yelling at you for parking on the sidewalk. Message Rusty to tell him I'm the one parked on the sidewalk.
B: In my best Arnold Schwarzenegger impression: COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE
My calculations were rough but I figured rusty should get to the curb right at the same time as me. If he's there already, we do B. If he's not, I'll do A.
The speed limit in the tunnel under the airport is 55. I'm doing 90. I fly up the ramp to Terminal 1 and tell him that I'll grab him at the American arrivals level. Just as I pull off to the curb to tell him I'm here he tells me he's just walked outside and I look up and see a classically hawaiian shirt standing at the curb. I pull the car forward, stop quickly and do my best Arnold. He laughs and hops in. I take him to his hotel and dump him off at registration as I park the car. I spend 20 minutes parking the car and I walk over to registration to find him still in line. The hotel is packed with people for the convention.
Behind us is a beautiful blonde engineer in town for what I'm guessing is World of Concrete based on the blueprints she's brought with her. I chat her up a bit until I see that she's got a wedding ring on her other hand. We head up to rusty's room where we find a king size bed and a hot tub 5 feet away. You don't even need to leave your bed to drown a hooker if you don't want to.
It's Vegas!
Rusty says lets go down to the casino and lose some money. We head down to the casino and lose some money at the craps table. This trip is not treating me nicely. I tell him I gotta tap out. Show in the morning.

General running information:
We normally run on sidewalks and sometimes on the shoulder of the road. On the Strip, run only on the sidewalk. You take your life into your own hands if you run on the road. Downtown (Fremont Street), stick to the sidewalk. There are some bike lanes, but they’re not used often and therefore not always respected by drivers. It's also technically illegal to run in a bike lane.
This guide is written for tourists by a local who lives on the west side of town and focuses exclusively on road running. It's not complete by any means, but a good start.
WeatheConditions:
Las Vegas is in a desert. There is limited shade, few clouds, and the sun is brutal. Always apply sunscreen and lip balm, wear a visor or sunglasses, and hydrate more often than at home.
Summers are hot, obviously, so you’ll want to run early, before 8 AM, or after dark. Due to the extreme heat, running in just a sports bra is fine, as is running shirtless for guys.
Winters bring large temperature swings. Daytime temps can be quite pleasant, and nights get downright cold. There is a monsoon season around springtime, but 99% of the time, you won’t have to worry about precipitation.
More important than the temperature is the humidity. There is none. You will sweat more and therefore need more water and more electrolytes than running at home. Bring water with you when you run, no matter where or how far you’re going.
Also note that Las Vegas is at approximately 2000 ft/600 m elevation. If you’re coming from a coastal area, you may see slightly slower times. If you’re coming from a mountainous area, enjoy the extra oxygen!
Safety:
Las Vegas is a city of tourists. Be aware of your surroundings and the people around you. The tourist areas are pretty well policed, but personal responsibility will reduce your likelihood of being a target. Avoid the northern end of Las Vegas Blvd, north of Neon Museum, and the area east of Atomic Liquors. Also, hydrate well after a night of drinking.
Running Groups:
Las Vegas Runners
Red Rock Running Company
Performance Footwear
Miscellaneous:
Weather forecast here
Strava Heatmap
Major Races

• Rock N Roll Marathon - On the Strip, huge event.
• Red Rock Marathon - On the Scenic Loop, small event.
• REVEL Mt Charleston - On Mt. Charleston, 99% downhill!

The Strip
Most folks stay on the Strip, so you can access this route from your doorstep. The route is simple: exit your hotel onto Las Vegas Blvd. Run either north or south on Las Vegas Blvd. The south end of the Strip is the Welcome to Las Vegas sign, just south of Mandalay Bay. Be extremely careful if you cross to the sign, as you’ll be going across four lanes of highly annoyed traffic. The north end is a toss-up between the Wynn and the Stratosphere hotels. The distance between the Las Vegas sign and the Stratosphere is approximately 7 miles, and you can turn around at any point.
If you get a late start or want to avoid the overpasses, head to Flamingo, then turn east. Run 1 mile east to the Howard Hughes Corporate Center. The area is low traffic, wide streets, grass and palm trees. Run north on Howard Hughes Parkway to Sands, then turn and run back to Flamingo, unless you’re done, then turn west on Sands to the Strip.
Continue east on Flamingo to Maryland Parkway. Head south on Maryland Parkway to run past the University of Nevada - Las Vegas campus. Feel free to veer off and run through the campus. There are plenty of winding paths. The athletic facilities, including a track, are on the west side of campus. I’m not sure about access to the track. Continue south to Tropicana or Russell and turn west to return to the Strip. If you went as far south as Russell, you’ll have to follow Paradise north, then Tropicana west to the Strip.

• Start your run around 5 or 6 AM. By 10 AM, there won’t be room for you to run.
• Run only on sidewalks, and please use the overpasses.
• There’s plenty of busses, taxis and ubers to get you back to your hotel.
• Fun fact: The Strip is not within the Las Vegas city limits.

Downtown
Downtown encompasses the Fremont Street entertainment district, the home of classic casinos and the world’s largest video screen; Fremont East, an area of recent renovation and hipster bars; the Arts District, an area with starving artists, secondhand stores, and a fun retro vibe; and Symphony Park, home to the Smith Center and the Frank Gehry-designed Lou Ruvo Brain Institute.
I haven’t personally run in this area, but here’s a potential 5-mile loop that takes you through the highlights. If you want to add mileage, extend south from Charleston on Casino Center into the heart of the Arts District. Turn onto Wyoming or Oakey and head back up Main Street to Charleston to resume the route. This extension isn’t the prettiest side of town but does pass by two fantastic ice cream shops.

• If you want to run under the Vivavision (video screen), you’re probably fine to start any time before 3 PM. This area doesn’t really get crowded until dark and is pedestrians only.
• Bike lanes are available downtown, painted green. Since they are only downtown, not all drivers are aware of them or respect them, so run cautiously.
• There are quite a few homeless folks in the area. Usually harmless, but don’t be surprised at seeing them.
• Fun fact: The Golden Gate is the oldest casino in Las Vegas.

City and County Parks
Sunset Park is just 5 miles east of Mandalay Bay. Run south on the Strip to Sunset Rd, then run east to Sunset Park itself. The park has miles of paved trails, both in a manicured park with playgrounds, basketball courts, etc., and in a more natural desert setting. Plenty of bathrooms (which may not have doors) and water fountains here.
Craig Ranch Regional Park/craig_ranch_regional_park.php) is in North Las Vegas and would require transportation from either of the tourist hubs. There's a farmer's market on the weekends, and a 5k would take about 1.5-2 laps around the park exterior.
Clark County Wetlands Park on the east side of town is a fantastic getaway from desert landscapes. 14 miles of paved trails pass through ponds and reeds, providing plenty of bird-watching opportunities.
Red Rock Canyon & Western Beltway
Red Rock Canyon is a dramatic sandstone respite away from the bright lights of the Strip. The 13-mile paved loop is perfect training for marathons and includes 1500 feet of elevation gain in the first 5 miles. There’s a second tough uphill around mile 6.5 as well, and then the trail flattens out, with mild rises. You’ll pass by sandstone cliffs and Joshua Trees. Be careful of the traffic, as you share the road with both cars and cyclists. The loop is one-way, so be careful, especially on the tighter turns.
If 13 miles isn’t enough – or if it’s too much – there’s a great multi-use trail that parallels the 215 beltway. The paved trail starts in the south at Peace Way and runs about 12 miles total. There’s one intersection at Flamingo, and then underpasses for the rest of the trip, at least until Sahara. Charleston Blvd, the road to Red Rock, is directly in the center. You’ll continue west for another 6 miles or so to the loop entrance.

• No water once you leave the visitors center, so come prepared. Bring more water than you think you’ll need. If you’re not sure, err on the side of too much. I recommend 2L for a half-day hike, so adjust according to your distance and pace. Water is available at Red Rock Visitor Center & the Albertson’s on Charleston shortly before the park.
• Bathrooms available at Albertson’s on Charleston, the Visitor’s Center, and some of the pullouts in Red Rock.
• Admission to Red Rock is $7 for a car, $3 for a cyclist or pedestrian. Cash or cards accepted. These rates are currently under discussion to double.
• I highly recommend having your own transportation for these runs. While uber & lyft have great coverage in the western suburbs, phone reception out at Red Rock itself is spotty.
• Fun fact: Red Rock is home to Mojave Max, a desert tortoise used to predict the start of spring.

It’s too damn hot and I can’t stand the treadmill. Help?
Run in air conditioned bliss at the Las Vegas Athletic Clubs (LVAC) gyms’ indoor tracks. They are for locals and therefore require a traditional monthly gym membership, but they do have a one-day pass to try them out.
Oh, and I'll be here for a week.
UNLV’s Student Recreational Center is open to “the Community” and has an indoor track. Nevada residents can get a monthly pass, not sure about out of state folks. More info:
Further from the Strip, the indoor track at the Henderson Multigenerational Center is available to non-residents.
If you’re military, the gym at Nellis Air Force Base has an indoor track as well.
ETA city & county parks 8/28/17 ETA major races 9/28/17

2015: Moisture from Hurricane Dolores, along with monsoon moisture resulted in showers and thunderstorms over most of Southern California on 7/18 and this day. Rainfall ranged from 0.5" to 4", including a record 1.7" at San Diego on 7/18. This was unprecedented July rainfall: record single-day and July monthly total. These two days recorded two of the three wettest July days on the San Diego record. The San Diego River at Fashion Valley had two crests above monitor stage, 7.7 feet on 7/18 a nd 8.8 feet on this day. A debris flow hit the burn scar of Silverado Canyon on this day as well as flash floods in Moreno Valley, Perris, and La Mesa. Aided by lingering tropical moisture from former hurricane Dolores, intense thunderstorms with torrential rain developed near Desert Center. Over 6” of rain fell over several hours along and just to the south of Interstate 10, just to the west of Desert Center. Eastbound lanes of Interstate 10 collapsed where they crossed a heavily flowing wash. A vehicle drove into the hole in the collapsed bridge, trapping the driver and requiring rescue. I-10 was closed in both directions causing huge traffic backups. Two landspout tornadoes were observed in open desert just north of Landers on this day.
2013: On the evening of July 19th, a thunderstorm developed near Nellis Air Force Base along an outflow boundary and moved south across the Las Vegas Valley. This storm was one of the most intense ever to cross the valley with respect to wind. Nellis Air Force Base measured sustained winds of 59 mph with a gust to 71 mph. Sustained tropical storm force winds were recorded across the heart of the Las Vegas Valley with this storm. Damages were greatest in the areas in and around Nellis Air Force Base and in Chinatown. One apartment building was evacuated after a gas line broke. At least 12 buildings throughout Las Vegas had wind damage. Power was knocked out to casinos on Fremont Street and parts of The Strip. In addition, heavy rains caused up to two feet of water to flow across parts of The Strip. Water damage also occurred at 3 strip casinos from the rain, including a portion of the casino floor at Caesars Palace. Some 33,000 NV Energy customers lost power from this storm. A total of 243 trees were downed at the Desert Pines Golf Course. Damages were estimated at 2.5 million from this storm, with most of the damage from wind.
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2009: Severe thunderstorm winds struck La Quinta foothills with gusts measuring 61 mph.
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2005: The low temperature on this date was 95° F which set the warmest low ever recorded in Las Vegas.
The high temperature of 117° F on this date tied the hottest temperature ever recorded in Las Vegas.
The average temperature for the date was 106° F, which was the hottest day ever recorded in Las Vegas. The morning low was 95° F and the afternoon high was 117° F.
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2003: Flash flooding was observed in and around the town of Pahrump, NV (near Death Valley). Water was running over SR 160 from SR 372 to Dandelion. In the town of Pahrump, roads looked like rivers with a dumpster floating in the road blocking traffic. Mud was going through the Post Office and a trailer park. Basin Ave. and State Route 160 were under one foot of water. Flooding extended half mile on Basin Ave. toward the west. A gas station, the city park, and a shopping center parking lot were completely flooded.
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1987: A rare cold air mass for mid-summer descended on the region starting on 7.18 and ending on 7.21 and broke numerous low temperature records.
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1985: Strong thunderstorms produced very heavy rainfall in the mountains and the adjacent desert. A mudslide at the top of the Palm Springs Tram trapped 150, all but 31 were rescued by helicopter. The 31 spent the night because the helicopter was grounded due to unsafe winds. The 15 minute slide was a debris flow carrying huge rocks and timbers. A thunderstorm plunged a light aircraft to the ground at Mormon Rocks, killing a family of 3. Flooding was reported “all over” in the Morongo Basin. A tornado in Needles hit a mobile home park and injured 6. It leveled 4 mobile homes and damaged 14 others. 1.50" of rain fell in Palomar Mountain, the greatest daily amount on record for July. 2.36" fell in Cuyamaca, flooding Paso Picacho Campground.
1974: A severe thunderstorm with winds up to 80 mph and heavy rain swept through Lake Havasu City, AZ, and completely washed out section 4-5 feet deep in some streets. Many cars were abandoned during the storm and a number washed away. 3 people were killed and 1 person was injured when their vehicle was carried down a wash by a wall of water estimated to be 10 feet tall.
1970: Mount Hamilton (East Bay) had a high temperature of 92° F.
1960: The overnight low in Death Valley was 102° F.
1960: Thunderstorm winds in the Tehachapis downed utility lines and damaged farm buildings.
1955: Heavy thunderstorms struck desert areas of Twentynine Palms and Barstow. One cloudburst hit Cherry Valley with 3" of rain in 30 minutes. A 75 foot stream of water crossed Highway 66 at Hodge, southwest of Barstow. Washouts were also reported around Twentynine Palms.
1954: A northward moving hurricane made landfall in central Baja California with the remnants moving into Arizona. Rainfall of up to 2" occurred in the mountains and deserts starting on 7.17 and ending on this day. This occurred during the El Niño of 1953-54.
1931: Carson City, NV, had a high temperature of 107° F, while Reno, NV, recorded a high of 105° F.
Source: NWS San Francisco/Monterey, Hanford, Reno, Las Vegas, Phoenix, & San Diego

2017: Some deep tropical moisture associated with a fairly strong upper level shortwave pushed into central California on September 11th and produced a severe thunderstorm outbreak during the afternoon and evening. Numerous reports of downburst winds exceeding 60 mph were reported and the impacts form these thunderstorms included downed power lines, damage to roofs; and large objects being knocked over and damaged. Rainfall amounts were generally a quarter of an inch or less with a few locations in the Southern Sierra Nevada and Tehachapi Mountains receiving between a quarter inch and a half inch of rain. APRS station 5WSW Firebaugh reported a 59 mph wind gust from a thunderstorm. A dairy farm south of Hanford had several barns with extensive roof damage from thunderstorm winds.
8 telephone poles were downed on Jackson Ave. near 9th Ave. south of Hanford.
A tree fell onto a vehicle near the intersection of 13th Ave. and Houston Ave. near Hanford.
A microburst downed 30 powerlines in Mendota.
8 miles west of Caruthers a chicken barn was blown down by thunderstorm downburst outflow winds.
In Corcoran thunderstorm winds produced damage to a house and snapped several trees. Beams from a wood fence were snapped from from concrete support and shingles were blown off of a roof.
There were reports of nickel-sized hail in Corcoran. There were several trees down on northbound State Route 99 just south of the State Route 190 interchange.
Lightning struck a house near Hanford High School. A Weather Service forecaster providing onsite support at the Pier Fire reported penny sized hail at Pierpoint Springs.
2012: A stationary thunderstorm brought persistent, heavy rain to Mecca.
3"-5" of rain fell in just a couple hours (more than a year’s worth). Floodwaters damaged a school, a mobile home park and several orchards.
2012: On the afternoon of September 11, 2012 thunderstorms producing heavy rainfall moved across much of the Las Vegas Valley. Rainfall rates of a half-inch to nearly eight-tenths of an inch in 30 minutes resulted in significant and in some cases devastating flash flooding. A total of 1.18" of rain was measured by the automated weather station at McCarran International Airport. This set an all-time record for a calendar day for the month of September. Automated weather stations operated by the Clark County Regional Flood Control District as well as Mesonet weather stations, cooperative observers and spotter reports showed the heaviest rain fell in several areas. 1"-2" of rain fell in northern portions of Summerlin, NV, in and just south of downtown Las Vegas, NV, along Flamingo Road and Tropicana Avenue from near Interstate 15 to near Mojave Road and in southeast Henderson, NV. The highest total reported was 2.09" at an automated station operated by the Clark County Regional Flood Control District near Swenson Avenue and Flamingo Road by the Tropicana Wash. According to local media reports, at least 50 vehicle rescues took place throughout the Las Vegas Valley by Clark County Firefighters. 40 of these were swiftwater rescues. The largest number of rescues was 15 near the intersection of Sloan and Sahara with one rescue done by helicopter. Roadway flooding was extensive with several inches to several feet of flowing water reported on many roads especially in the central and eastern parts of the Las Vegas Valley. Interstate 215 was closed from Interstate 15 to Eastern Avenue after intense rainfall washed large amounts of mud and rocks onto the highway from nearby landscaping along the side of the road. This also resulted in the Airport Connector to McCarran International Airport being closed. The Charleston Underpass flooded for the first time since extensive construction work was done to mitigate this once flood-prone area back in the mid-2000s. The worst impacted area though was near the Desert Rose Golf Course. At least 45 homes were flooded mainly on and near Walton Heath Avenue. Most of these homes suffered extensive damage to their lowest level with many people loosing furniture and appliances. In some cases the force of floodwaters busted through concrete walls. Numerous vehicles in this area were flooded and some were floated 300 to 400 feet. Three dogs drowned to death that lived in one house. In addition, a worker at the Desert Rose Golf Course was swept away by the floodwaters from his tractor around 4:22 PM PDT on September 11th. His body was found dead two days later about two and a half miles away.
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2011: Small hail was reported at Bodfish and Lake Isabella as was street flooding which was also reported in Kernville.
2011: Monsoonal thunderstorms brought flooding to Downtown Las Vegas and the Las Vegas Strip. A rain gauge in Downtown Las Vegas recorded 0.98" of rain in about 20 minutes. Water ponded up over curbs of streets from Downtown Las Vegas to North Las Vegas. Several inches of water flooded the Circus Circus Adventuredome. The parking lot at the Cannery Casino in North Las Vegas was flooded.... with some cars partially underwater. A few inches of water also entered part of the casino and movie theater.
2008: The Cascadel Fire began on this date in the Sierra National Forest at 2000 PST. The cause was human, from target shooting. The location was 3 miles East-Northeast of North Fork in Madera County. It burned 280 acres and was contained on September 17 at 1700 PST. There were no fatalities or properties damaged. The cost to containment was $3,100,000.
2008: A thunderstorm produced strong outflow winds measured at 67 mph in La Quinta. Another thunderstorm produced golf ball sized hail in Ranchita.
2004: The Nehouse Fire 25 miles east of North Fork in Madera County burned 204 acres. Its cause was human in origin but no fatalities,injuries, or structures-lost occurred.
2004: Severe thunderstorms in Borrego Springs produced one inch hail that broke windows. Strong winds gusted to 60 mph before the anemometer was destroyed, and knocked down six power poles. Training thunderstorms over Johnson Valley produced severe flash flooding. Hwy. 247 was washed out in numerous sections. Minor damage to homes occurred and 12 vehicles were trapped. In La Quinta, 138 trees were knocked down at one golf course with damage to a building. More trees fell down at other golf courses. Roof tiles were blown off. Damage occurred to power poles and transformers.
2004: The China Fire began on this date 15 miles southwest of Lake Isabella in Kern County. This suspiciously-caused fire burned 314 acres but there were no fatalities, injuries, or structures-lost.
2001: On this date 19 hijackers seized 4 U.S. commercial jetliners on the East Coast and flew two aircraft into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center in New York City destroying them, one aircraft into the Pentagon Building near Washingon, DC, causing severe damage, and one was destined for another target in the Washington, DC, area (either the White House or the U.S. Capitol Building) but the passengers resisted and the hijackers crashed the plane near Shanksville, PA. In all, nearly 3,000 people were killed and civilian air traffic into, out of, and within the United States was grounded for days afterwards.
1998: Severe thunderstorms pounded the Las Vegas Valley and Lake Mead for a few hours producing golf ball size hail, a small tornado and widespread flash flooding. Large hail began falling shortly before 11 am PST and numerous hail reports came in for the next couple hours with some episodes causing damage to several automobiles. A small tornado tore the roof off a Henderson, NV, warehouse and destroyed a large block wall at a service station a short distance away. Heavy rain fell mainly on the east side of the metro area with amounts up to 1.85" in a two hour period. As a result flash flooding filled streets and washes and trapped several motorists although no serious injuries occurred. The heavy rain damaged about one acre of the 750 acre Sunrise Landfill and carried significant amounts of debris into the Las Vegas, NV, wash. The Clark County School District activated the "shelter-in-place" policy for school children at approximately 30 schools around the area. Children were not bused home until after flooding had subsided.
1990: It was 117° F in Borrego Springs, the highest temperature on record for September. This also occurred the previous day on 9.10.
1983: Half Moon Bay had a high of 94° F -- a record for the month.
1982: The morning low temperature at Reno, NV was a chilly 29° F.
1976: Record rains that started on 9.9 ended on 9.12 came from Tropical Storm Kathleen (called a 160+ year event by meteorologists). 14.76" fell on south slopes of Mt. San Gorgonio, 10.13" at Mt. Laguna, 8" at Mt. San Jacinto, 4"+ in the Little San Bernardino Mountains, and 1.8"-2.8" in the Coachella Valley. Deep Canyon (above La Quinta) recorded 2.96" in three hours on 9.10. Rainfall in the Santa Rosa Mountains above the Coachella Valley was called the a heaviest in recorded history. 6 were buried and killed in sand in Ocotillo. Floods of record were attained at numerous streams around the Coachella Valley. 1.84" of rain fell in Riverside on this day, 2.09" fell in Borrego Springs, 2.33" fell in Victorville, 2.57" fell in Idyllwild, and 5" fell in Palomar Mountain, each the greatest daily amounts on record for September. The Victorville amount is also the third highest daily amount on record. This occurred during the El Nino of 1976-77. Hurricane Kathleen also brought the southwest the highest sustained winds ever associated with an eastern Pacific tropical cyclone with sustained winds of 57 mph at Yuma on 9.10.
1976: The remains of Hurricane Kathleen move across Baja and into southern California near El Centro. With its circulation still intact, tropical storm force winds produce considerable damage in Yuma. Sustained winds exceed 50 mph, and gust as high as 76 mph in Yuma, AZ. One man is killed as a 75 foot palm tree crashes onto his mobile home. Severe flooding occurs in Mohave county.
1971: It was 100° F in Palomar Mountain, the highest temperature on record. This occurred on eight other occasions.
1960: North northwestward moving Hurricane Estelle dissipated west of the central Baja California coast from 9.9 to this day. On this day a thunderstorm hit the area east of Lucerne Valley. The resulting flash flood was four feet deep and washed out a section of road, stranding several vehicles east of Lucerne Valley.
1952: Chilliest morning in three day stretch from the 10th through 12th in Fresno; record lows were set each on morning and all still stand to this day. Low of 44° F on this date is the earliest 45° F or lower reading on record in Fresno.
1939: 4"of rain fell across the deserts and mountains as a dying tropical cyclone moved across Baja California into southwestern Arizona on this day and on 9.12. This was the second tropical cyclone to impact California during the busy month of September 1939. A strong El Nino contributed to the activity.
1939: The remnants from the second of three tropical cyclones to affect the southwestern U.S. in one month floods homes in Eldorado Canyon, roads in the California Wash near Glendale and washed out parts of Charleston Blvd. near Rancho Blvd. in Las Vegas, NV.
1888: Fresno set an all-time record high of 111° F for the month of September. This is also the latest in the season that Fresno has had a high temperature of 110° or better.
Source: NWS San Francisco/Monterey, Hanford, Reno, Las Vegas, Phoenix, & San Diego
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