1) Intro - 🎯
Algernon Pharmaceuticals inc is a clinical stage pharmaceutical development company, focuses in the areas of nonÂalcoholic steatohepatitis, chronic kidney disease, inflammatory bowel disease, idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis, chronic cough, and acute lung injury associated with COVID-19 in Canada and Australia. It is also developing AP-188 (N,N-Dimethyltryptamine), a psychedelic compound that is part of the tryptamine family for the treatment of Ischemic stroke in humans. Algernon HQ is in Vancouver, Canada 🇨🇦
2) key Activities and annual progress in 2020 : 🎯
Year End summary of Key Activities in 2020
👉a) NP-120 (Ifenprodil) Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis (IPF) and Chronic Cough Clinical Research Program :
March 30 - Submitted for ethics approval in Australia for a Phase 2 study of the Company’s re-purposed drug Ifenprodil for IPF and chronic cough.
May 6 - Received first ethics approval from the Royal Brisbane and Women’s Hospital, Human Research Ethics Committee.
July 7 - Began screening patients for suitability at five sites in total that are participating in the study, with three located in Australia and two in New Zealand.
August 5 - Announced that the first patient had been dosed at the Waikato Hospital located in Hamilton, New Zealand.
October 13 - Announced that the IPF and chronic cough study reached 25% of its enrollment target.
👉b) Ifenprodil COVID-19 Clinical Research Program :
March 6 - Announced exploring the potential of using Ifenprodil as a novel treatment for COVID-19 based on an independent study that found that Ifenprodil significantly reduced acute lung injury and improved survivability in an animal study with H5N1 infected mice. H5N1 is the most lethal form of influenza known to date with an over 50% mortality rate.
March 13 - Filed a pre-IND (Investigational New Drug) meeting request with the U.S. Federal Drug Administration (U.S. FDA), initiating formal communications to investigate Ifenprodil in a multinational Phase 2b/3 clinical trial for COVID-19.
March 19 - Agreed to support an investigator-initiated Phase 2 clinical trial of Ifenprodil for COVID-19 patients in South Korea (subsequently withdrawn due to low patient enrollment).
March 23 - Awarded the contract to manufacture the Company’s own supply of the active pharmaceutical ingredient for Ifenprodil, to U.S. based Cascade Chemistry.
April 22 - Submitted a Clinical Trial Application (CTA) to Health Canada for the Company’s planned multinational Phase 2b/3 COVID-19 study of Ifenprodil.
April 29 - Received a No Objection Letter from Health Canada for its CTA.✅
May 25 - Submitted an Investigational New Drug (IND) application with the U.S. FDA for its planned multinational Phase 2b/3 COVID-19 study of Ifenprodil.
June 4 - Received clearance from the U.S. FDA for its IND application. ✅
June 25 - Received ethics approval from a central institutional review board for U.S. study sites.✅
July 16 - Completed a clinical trial agreement with Westchester Research Center at Westchester General Hospital in Miami, Florida, the first active U.S. clinical study site.
August 5 - Announced enrollment of first patient for its Ifenprodil COVID-19 study.
August 13 - Announced enrollment of its first patient from the U.S. for its Ifenprodil COVID-19 study. ☝️
October 30 - Announced that at its second review meeting, the Ifenprodil COVID-19 study external Data and Safety Monitoring Board had once again unanimously approved the continuation of the Company’s Ifenprodil COVID-19 study (first approval announced on September 16th).
November 30 - Announced that the final patient had been enrolled in its Ifenprodil COVID-19 study.
December 15 - Reported, in a descriptive format, positive trending interim data for the Phase 2b part of the Company’s Ifenprodil COVID-19 study. 👍
December 24 - Announced that the last patient from the Phase 2b part of its Ifenprodil COVID-19 study had completed both the treatment period and two week follow up. 🤏
🤌Also their Financial matters of Last Year 2020 : ⬆️
February 21 - Closed a non-brokered private placement issuing an aggregate of 18,304,939 Units at the price of CDN$0.085 per Unit, raising gross proceeds of CDN$1,555,919.82. Each Unit was comprised of one Class A common share (a “Share”) and one Share purchase warrant. Each whole warrant will entitle the holder to acquire one additional Share at a price of CDN$0.12 per Share.
May 13 - Closed a private placement offering of special warrants of the Company and issued 19,605,285 warrants at a price of CDN$0.35 each, for aggregate gross proceeds of approximately CDN$6,861,849.00 (the Company filed a prospectus shortly thereafter to qualify the 19,605,285 special warrants issued, with each special warrant converted into one common share and one common share purchase warrant at $CDN.55).
November 16 - Received a refundable tax credit of approximately CDN$600,000 from its clinical research work in Australia, representing 40% of allowable expenses refunded from the Company’s Ifenprodil IPF and chronic cough Phase 2 clinical study, with additional refunds expected.
December 23 - Exercised its acceleration right under the warrant indenture governing the common share purchase warrants of the Company (issued on November 1, 2019), when the daily volume-weighted average trading price of the common shares of the Company exceeded CDN$0.35 for the preceding 20 consecutive trading days on the Canadian Securities Exchange. 🤨
👉 C) About NP-120 (Ifenprodil) :
NP-120 (Ifenprodil) is an N-methyl-D-aspartate (NMDA) receptor antagonist specifically targeting the NMDA-type subunit 2B (GluN2B). Ifenprodil prevents glutamate signalling. The NMDA receptor is found on many tissues including lung cells, T-cells, and neutrophils.
The Company believes Ifenprodil may be able to reduce the infiltration of neutrophils and T-cells into the lungs where they can release glutamate and cytokines respectively. The latter can result in the highly problematic cytokine storm that contributes to the loss of lung function and ultimately death as has been reported in COVID-19 infected patients.
3) Plans for 2021 : 🎯
a) New Clinical Research Programs : 🤏
The Company is planning to establish a minimum of one and possibly two new clinical research programs in calendar Q1, with plans to start a Phase 1 or a Phase 2 clinical trial(s) before the end of the year, for a new disease indication(s). Potential target compounds include the drugs that have been investigated by the Company in preclinical animal models or other compounds that the Company has been considering, that have established preclinical and possibly clinical efficacy for a new disease indication.
The focus will be on off patent compounds that are already approved in limited markets, but have not been approved in the U.S. or Europe and may include natural occurring compounds that have shown potential as new therapeutic treatments for serious global diseases.
The Company will continue to rely on a number of approaches to protect its intellectual property rights including filing method of use patents, new formulation and dosing patents, and also by utilizing propriety drug delivery technology.
The Company may also advance compounds for diseases that are rare in the population, referred to as orphan indications. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (U.S. FDA) provides 7 years and the European Union provides 10 years of market exclusivity to specific clinical indications with orphan designations.
Finally, the Company may also rely on the 5-year period of exclusivity granted to new drug applications for products containing chemical entities never previously approved by the U.S. FDA either alone or in combination.
B) NP-120 (Ifenprodil) Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis (IPF) & Chronic Cough Clinical Research Program : 🤏
The Company is currently working to increase the enrollment rate of its IPF and chronic cough study that was slowed due to COVID-19. The Company is working to expand access to the clinical trial to additional Australian and New Zealand patients beyond those who attend the specific clinics where the trial is being conducted.
Once the trial is closed and the final data has been reviewed and is positive, the Company will evaluate next steps, which may include filing a pre-IND application with the U.S. FDA for IPF or chronic cough or for both. 🤨
C) Ifenprodil COVID-19 Clinical Research Program: 🤏
The Company has projected that the final data set for the Phase 2b part of its Phase 2b/3 clinical trial from its Ifenprodil COVID-19 clinical study will be available by the end of February 2021. If the data is positive, the Company will consult with the U.S. FDA on an Emergency Use Authorization (EUA). ( which is this month Feb’21 )🤝
The Company will also evaluate all aspects of conducting a Phase 3 trial, which will be required regardless of whether or not the Company receives an EUA.
“The Company is in a unique position to leverage its capabilities in identifying compounds for repurposing and managing clinical trials, and to advance additional compounds into clinical studies in a timely and cost-effective manner,” said **Christopher J. Moreau, CEO 👀 of Algernon Pharmaceuticals. “Our CSO Dr. Mark Williams and I have stated many times that one of our key corporate goals was to have multiple compounds in clinical trials at the same time in order to improve our chances of a success, and that is what we intend to achieve.”
The Company advises that it is not making any express or implied claims that Ifenprodil has the ability to eliminate, cure or contain COVID-19 (or the SARS-2 Coronavirus) at this time. 👏
4) Recent Major News & Development that we’ve missed : 🎯
Ok so what is the progress & update in 2021 ? Let’s see 👀
a) Major : ☝️Algernon pharmaceuticals company, is pleased to highlight an independent research review (the “Review”) published in the January 5th edition of the European Archives of Psychiatry and Clinical Neuroscience, that identified Ifenprodil as a possible re-purposed drug candidate for the treatment of COVID-19. 🤨
The Review focuses on the sigma-1 receptor in the endoplasmic reticulum, a network of membranes inside a cell through which proteins and other molecules move, and its important role in SARS-CoV-2 replication in cells. The Review proposes the repurposing of traditional central nervous system (CNS) drugs that have a high affinity at the sigma-1 receptor, naming Ifenprodil as a potential treatment of SARS-CoV-2-infected patients.
The Review can be found here at Sigma-1 Receptor Research and was authored by Kenji Hashimoto and supported in part by the Japan Society for the Promotion of Science and the Japan Agency for Medical Research and Development.
The Company recently announced that the last patient from the Phase 2b part of its multinational Phase 2b/3 human study of NP-120 (Ifenprodil) for the treatment of COVID-19, completed treatment as well as the required two-week follow up. The Company is projecting the final data set will be available before the end of February 2021. 🤏
“To date, we have mostly focused on Ifenprodil’s role as an NMDA receptor antagonist when exploring its potential as a COVID-19 therapeutic,” said Dr. Mark Williams, CSO of Algernon Pharmaceuticals. “However, its role as a sigma-1 receptor agonist is also well established and the connection with this receptor being a key therapeutic target involving SARS-CoV-2 replication is a very promising discovery, and adds to our confidence as we wait for the final results from our COVID-19 Ifenprodil study.”
b) Green Signal : ✅
Algernon is pleased to announce that the external Data and Safety Monitoring Board (“DSMB”) has completed its latest review of the Phase 2b part of the Company’s Phase 2b/3 human study of NP-120 (Ifenprodil) for the treatment of COVID-19, and has provided approval for the Company to continue on with the Phase 3 part of the study.
The DSMB is a committee of clinical research experts, including physicians, statisticians, and patient advocates, who are monitoring the progress of the Company’s clinical trial, and are reviewing safety and effectiveness data while the trial is ongoing.
“While we await final data from the Phase 2b part of our Ifenprodil COVID-19 study, it is critical for us to know that from a safety perspective, we are now clear to move into the Phase 3 part of the study,” said Christopher J. Moreau, CEO of Algernon Pharmaceuticals. 🤏
c) Stroke Treatment program with Psychedelic Drug DMT : 🤏
Algernon Pharmaceuticals is pleased to announce that it has established a clinical research program for the treatment of stroke focused on AP-188 (“N,N-Dimethyltryptamine or DMT”), a known psychedelic compound that is part of the tryptamine family (other drugs in the tryptamine family include psilocybin and psilocin). Algernon plans to be the first company globally to pursue DMT for stroke in humans and is planning to begin a clinical trial as soon as possible in 2021.
Algernon has also filed new provisional patents for new forms of DMT, in addition to formulation, dosage and method of use claims for ischemic stroke. The Company has also filed claims for combination therapy of DMT and Constraint Induced Movement Therapy (“CIMT”).
The Company announced in early January that it would be establishing a new clinical research program in Q1 2021 to add to its current pipeline. Repurposing DMT from its psychedelic effects to a new potential treatment for stroke could have a positive impact on the millions of people that suffer the debilitating consequences of a stroke each year.
The Company’s decision to investigate DMT and move it into human trials for stroke is based on multiple independent, positive preclinical studies demonstrating that DMT helps promote neurogenesis as well as structural and functional neural plasticity. These are key factors involved in the brain’s ability to form and reorganize synaptic connections, which are needed for healing following a brain injury.
A recently published preclinical study in an animal model for stroke, showed that rats treated with DMT recovered motor function more quickly and to a greater extent, and also exhibited lower lesion volumes when compared to control group animals that did not receive DMT. Key data from the study achieved statistical significance.
Unlike other companies recently researching psychedelic drugs, Algernon will be focusing on a sub-hallucinogenic, or microdose of DMT provided by continuous intravenous administration. By pursuing a continuous active microdose, the goal will be to provide patients with the therapeutic benefits of DMT, without having a psychedelic experience. This is an important element when considering treating a patient who has just suffered a stroke, wherein medications that cause a hallucinogenic response would cause unwanted confusion and stress.
The Company also believes that a microdosing approach to developing a DMT treatment may enable a much wider review and acceptance of its data, including garnering the early interest of research investigators, the interest of clinical trial patients, and ultimately clinical acceptance. Algernon’s approach may also allow for a quicker pathway to regulatory approval including a Breakthrough Therapy designation from the U.S. FDA, which enables priority review of a drug candidate if preliminary clinical trials indicate that the therapy may offer substantial treatment advantages over existing options for patients with serious or life-threatening diseases.
“While other research is exploring DMT for its hallucinogenic qualities and effects, Algernon will be working to unlock DMT’s non-psychedelic potential to help promote healing and recovery in the brain from a stroke, one of the most devastating injuries a human being can experience,” said Christopher J. Moreau, CEO of Algernon Pharmaceuticals. “The Algernon team, which now includes global experts in DMT and stroke research, is uniquely positioned to quickly repurpose DMT into human trials in the most cost and time effective way possible, just as we did with Ifenprodil in the on-going Phase 2 trial for Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis (“IPF”) and chronic cough, as well as with our on-going COVID-19 trial.” 🤨
🎥 A Streetsmart LIVE webcast interview that explains the new clinical program in greater detail can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bACQ52aOlo
d) Global Stroke Treatment Market: Overview 🤏
According to a 2019 report from Transparency Market Research:
The global stroke treatment market was valued at ~US$ 8 Bn in 2018.
Projected to grow at a compound annual growth rate of ~7% over the forecast period, the global stroke treatment market is expected to reach a value of ~US$ 15 Bn by the year 2027.
Rise in the prevalence of stroke across the world, surge in the elderly patient pool, and rapid rise in comorbidities such as atrial fibrillation, diabetes, and hypertension leading to high risk of developing stroke are anticipated to drive the global stroke treatment market during the forecast period.
North America is the leading regional market in the global stroke treatment market, and will continue to have a major share throughout the forecast period of 2019 to 2027. 🤔
e) DMT Background : 🤏
N,N-Dimethyltryptamine, or DMT, is a hallucinogenic tryptamine drug producing effects similar to those of other psychedelics like LSD, ketamine, psilocybin and psilocin. DMT occurs naturally in many plant species and animals and has been used in religious ceremonies as a traditional spiritual medicine by indigenous people in the Amazonian basin. DMT can also be synthesised in a laboratory.
At higher doses, DMT has a rapid onset, intense psychedelic effects, and a relatively short duration of action with an estimated half-life of less than fifteen minutes. Like other hallucinogens in the tryptamine family, DMT binds to serotonin receptors to produce euphoria and psychedelic effects. Because the effects of DMT do not last very long, it has been referred to in some circles as the “businessman’s trip”.
Named the “Spirit Molecule” by Dr. Rick Strassman, an American clinical associate professor of psychiatry and DMT research pioneer, DMT has been shown to induce neuroplasticity in a number of key preclinical studies. DMT is believed to activate pathways involved with forming neuron connections and has been shown in studies to increase the number of dendritic spines on cortical neurons. Dendritic spines form synapses (connections) with other neurons and are a major site of molecular activity in the brain.
While Dr. Strassman’s Phase 1 bolus intravenous human study identified the sub-hallucinogenic dose of DMT in humans, another preclinical animal study demonstrated this same dose level still retains the neuroplastic effect seen in higher hallucinogenic doses.
Algernon will be investigating an intravenous sub-hallucinogenic dose of DMT in its research and clinical studies.
DMT – Building the Case for Stroke
Data from a study published in Experimental Neurology, in May 2020 showed that in a rat model of cerebral ischemia-reperfusion injury, DMT reduced the infarct (dead cells) volume and improved functional recovery.
Key Findings: 🗝
Animals treated with DMT displayed lower lesion volumes than control animals measured by MRI 24 hours following the occlusion. (p = 0.0373)
Animals in the DMT group improved motor function more quickly and to a greater extent than the control group; The differences became significant on the 4th day (p = 0.0325) and persisted throughout a 30-day follow-up.
The full study can be viewed at the following link: https://www.globenewswire.com
5 ) Algernon’s DMT Clinical Research Plan : 🎯
a) Ischemic Stroke 👈
Currently, medication treatments for ischemic stroke are primarily limited to Tissue Plasminogen Activator (“TPA”) or blood thinners. However, these treatments are stroke type specific and cannot be given until the patient has received a CT scan to determine if the stroke is ischemic or haemorrhagic. Patients being treated with TPA must receive the drug within 3 hours of the injury. As a result, only 5% of stroke patients receive TPA.
Additional treatment options involve surgical intervention such as catheter embolectomy and decompressive craniotomy.
Based on its preclinical data research, Algernon plans to test DMT in the clinic in patients as soon as possible after the stroke injury occurs. If it is established in the Company’s preclinical research phase that DMT can be used to treat both haemorrhagic and ischemic stroke, the patient will not have to wait for a CT scan and treatment can begin immediately, possibly while being transported to the hospital. 🙏🏻
Algernon’s preclinical research is designed to help establish the optimal treatment period duration for DMT as well as the clinically effective sub-hallucinogenic dose.
b) Post-Stroke Rehabilitation : 👈
Eighty five percent of stroke survivors will end up with from some form of disability after having suffered a stroke. Intensive physical rehabilitation has been shown by researchers to improve function and reduce long-term disability.
While Algernon will investigate DMT to treat a patient as quickly as possible after the stroke occurs, it will also investigate the potential of the drug as a treatment during the rehabilitative process. Rehabilitation therapy, which includes motor-skill exercises, mobility training and range-of-motion therapy, and can begin as soon as 24 to 48 hours after the stroke has occurred.
One specific type of rehabilitation therapy, previously referenced, is called CIMT. It is focused on improving upper extremity function in stroke patients and involves intensive training of the weaker arm while restricting the use of the stronger arm.
Algernon will investigate DMT in preclinical animal models of CIMT for the promotion of neurogenesis and structural and functional neural plasticity during various time periods after the stroke has occurred. If the final data is positive, the Company will move DMT into a separate clinical trial to test for its efficacy as a post stroke rehabilitation adjunctive treatment.
Pathway to Clinical Trials
A) Pre-IND U.S. FDA and CTA - Health Canada 🇨🇦
Based on historical data showing that several DMT Phase 1 studies have already been conducted, the Company believes that it will be able to use this data to seek approval to begin its own Phase 1 study without having to complete certain toxicology work.
In order to confirm its regulatory plans, Algernon’s goal is preparing to submit a pre-IND (Investigational New Drug) meeting request with the U.S. FDA in calendar Q1 of 2021, and to present all elements of the Company’s clinical program design in order to receive their guidance and advice. 🇺🇸
The Company also intends to submit a Clinical Trial Application (CTA) to Health Canada in order to obtain additional insight and options for the Company’s planned clinical research program.
B) U.S. FDA Breakthrough Therapy Designation : 🇺🇸
Breakthrough Therapy designation is a process designed to expedite the development and review of drugs that are intended to treat a serious condition where preliminary clinical evidence indicates that the drug may demonstrate substantial improvement over available therapy on a clinically significant endpoint(s).
The Company plans to file an application with the U.S. FDA for a Breakthrough Therapy designation as soon as possible. ( points to be noted ) 📌
6) Manufacturing : 🎯
Algernon is currently engaged in discussions with a Health Canada and U.S. FDA approved drug manufacturing company that has the experience and required licensure for the manufacturing and handling of DMT.
7 ) CRO’s : 🎯
Algernon has retained CRO Clinical Development Solutions (“CDS”), to support all aspects of the investigational brochure, study protocol and Pre-IND and IND application with the U.S. FDA as well as the CTA with Health Canada. CDS will provide high-level oversight and management of all clinical trials.
The Company has also retained Novotech to conduct a feasibility study for Algernon to conduct all or part of its DMT stroke clinical research program in Australia. The Company has currently engaged Novotech for its Phase 2 clinical study for idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis and chronic cough as well as COVID-19. Australia is a favoured country for clinical research because of its government supported 43.5% refundable tax credit program.🇦🇺
Algernon is also exploring conducting its DMT clinical research program in other countries as well.
8 ) Latest Update : 🎯
AGNPF a clinical stage pharmaceutical development company, is pleased to announce that Algernon’s CEO Christopher J. Moreau and CSO Dr. Mark Williams, will be discussing the Company’s New DMT Stroke Clinical Research Program on an upcoming BioPub webcast.
The BioPub webcast was held Wednesday February 3, 2021 hosted by Dr. KSS at Noon EST. The Company invites interested shareholders, investors, members of the media and the public to listen to the interview free of charge.
About BioPub :
BioPub.co is a biotech investment discussion website.
9 ) Final verdict: 🤝 Now just to Cut it short i will finish this dd by providing few good news about Algernon Pharmaceuticals- 📰
Doctor says ‘ The medicine fights the cytokine storm — a potentially lethal immune overreaction to the coronavirus infection that is believed to be responsible for much of the deaths associated with the disease. This is what AGNPF does, the Israel drug has just completed phase 1, and we are ahead going into phase 3. ✅
Details Here : https://www.timesofisrael.com/new-israeli-drug-cured-moderate-to-serious-covid-cases-within-days-hospital/
👉Another doctor saying good things : Key portion of the article.... 🤝
But there is hope. Westchester is among a few hospitals around the world studying a new drug.
Dr. Jose Suarez: “So we’re doing a trial with Algernon, a medication called Ifenprodil, which has been around since the ’70s, and we’re starting to use it on COVID patients, and it’s a potent anti-inflammatory.” It’s hoped the drug will reduce the scarring of lung tissue which has led to so many long term problems.
Right now, it’s only being used on critically ill patients, and Dr. Suarez says the results are looking good.
Dr. Jose Suarez: “These patients are not getting that scarring that we usually see with the COVID patients, and their reactions to the treatment is phenomenal.”
Dr. Suarez says 10 patients who have received the drug have recovered from COVID without the scarring, and he believes studies like this one provide hope for future COVID patients.
👉 So here it goes Finally i can say that , Algernon can do really great in the future as their trial results are till now very positive : 🤝💎🚀
Ticker : Algernon Pharmaceuticals Inc. (CSE: AGN) (FRANKFURT: AGW) (OTCQB: AGNPF) 🍭 Their website: http://algernonpharmaceuticals.com/ ✅
This is for only Long time holders, short time holders may not find any gains anytime soon but it has potential so HOLDING till future can be Huge ! 🤝💎 🚀🤽‍♂️
Watch out LegendaryPennyPickers ! 💪🏻🧘🏻‍♂️💎🚀

I got my abortion today, and I feel amazing about it. (Very positive surgical experience, LONG)

This sub has been SO helpful, I want to share my experience! Sorry this is long but I know I was super ravenous for all the details of the process, so I'm going to get it ALL out just in case it helps someone.

How I Got Here

On new years eve, my contraceptive "plan A" AND the EC Plan B failed. Shit happens...I found out I was pregnant last Monday after feeling unrelenting nausea for maybe 3 days and realizing I was overdue for my period. I didn't think much of it cause my period is pretty irregular and I didn't "feel" pregnant, but I took a test anyway. I was so confident it would be negative that I literally did it 3 min before a Zoom meeting, so needless to say I didn't have much time to process before having to put on a face, hah.
I had a tiny bit of waffling because I am in a situation where I most certainly COULD have a child, but pretty quickly I realized I just don't WANT a baby right now. It's not the right time. To his credit, my partner has been exceptional! He didn't press me one way or the other, but the thing that tilted me over to abortion was him saying "I wish this was a happy and exciting instead of stressful discovery for you." I realized that I wished so too, I want my first baby to begin with an exciting and very much wanted positive pregnancy test instead of a stressful decision, so I made up my mind within a couple hrs of the test and booked the next available appointment at PP. My partner was super supportive and on board with whatever I wanted.
At that point, I was pretty sure I wanted to do a medical abortion, and 99% sure I knew the date of conception which would put me around 7 wk at my appointment, but by the LMC method I was 10wk 2 d at my appointment, no longer eligible for a medical at my PP. Since I was only 99% about the gestational age and not 100%, I didn't want to take the risk of being turned away if I was too far along for a medical so I booked an appt for an in-clinic thinking if I was right about the date of conception after the ultrasound I'd tell them I wanted to switch. I started reading experiences on both sides, and VERY quickly realized I personally would do much better with a surgical. I'm a hypochondriac and I just know that I would be terrified going through that at home, but being in a clinic with doctors would be so much better for me.
I am SO fortunate because I live in a state where I was able to find out Monday and have an appt for a termination Friday, and am in a good enough financial situation that the cost did not set my family back. No waiting period, no "informed consent," no panic over how I was going to pay. My only considerations were getting it done and how it would feel. Not everyone is this fortunate, and it REALLY made me realize that I owe way more of my time, effort, and monetary fortune to making sure other people can access abortion who are not in such fortunate circumstances. The rest, after taking stock of all my privileges, was just trying to get through the absolute horrible nausea, headaches, and lethargy for the next four days till it was all over. Also telling my mom she was being a B for imposing her feelings about her abortions on me... but that's another story, lol. It was mostly smooth sailing with my support system, anyway.

The "Big Day"

By the time today came, I was SO fed up with feeling pregnant that I would have chewed my arm off like a coyote to make it stop, so that contributed to a sense of absolute calm on the morning of the abortion. I'm also very lucky here. I had made peace with my decision 100% and didn't feel a shred of conflict going in. I was SURE, I was READY, and I'd read many experiences so I felt like I knew what to expect. If you can somehow get in this mind state before your procedure, I highly recommend it. Think and talk and read as much as you need to feel ok with your choice, you deserve it.
The PP I went to luckily had a HUGE privacy fence around the whole complex and felt incredibly secure. There was one sad old man protestor outside with a sandwich board, I honestly felt more sad for him than anything. What a narrow life. The building was gorgeous, and I went through security and two locked doors to get in. Check in was smooth, paid out of pocket, everyone was so nice and comforting. Now it was just the waiting.
I got called back for my ultrasound which was performed by a super nice, funny, kind young nurse. I am really glad, she said first she would try with the abdominal, and if she didn't get a picture that way she'd have to do a vaginal ultrasound but she'd avoid it if she could. Luckily she was able to get an abdominal. It was kinda annoying but no pain of course. I asked to know everything she could tell me about the embryo, plus a picture to take with. I was a little afraid I might regret this or suddenly feel more emotionally attached to the pregnancy, but no. I just thought it was pretty cool to see the little wormy thing that had caused so much trouble. I was really happy I guess to reaffirm that no one knows me better than myself, even those people who want to tell me that I should feel x, y or z about my abortion. My suspicions about conception date were correct, and I was exactly 7 wks on the dot, which is what I would be if I had conceived on new years like I was sure I had. Score one for intuition? After that I went to the second waiting room which is only for people getting abortions.
My one fear was that I am on Suboxone, which is a medication that can block opiates. Normally I'd always go for some kind of sedation for medical procedures since I'm a ween who passes out, but I was afraid I wouldn't have that option. I was encouraged on this sub to speak up early and often with the staff about my options, even though I didn't have high hopes, and I am SO GLAD I did. The first nurse talked to the actual dr about it, who right away made a special trip to the waiting room to pull me aside. She told me they see at least one person per month on suboxone, given my situation with suboxone and medical fear she'd like to do an IV for me so they could control the dosing of sedation more carefully and administer more right away if needed, that she promised they'd give me enough meds that they'd get me good pain relief and sedation, and that I shouldn't worry. This blew the last shred of doubt out of my mind and I felt so calm and in great hands. I know I googled frantically beforehand looking for ANY experiences of abortion sedation on suboxone so hopefully someone googling like me finds this and is comforted. My biggest advice is, if you are in the same situation, call around and ask the person at the desk to speak to the actual dr. I got VERY lucky because I had just resigned myself to inadequate sedation, but no, I was lucky enough to end up in the hands of a dr who knew exactly how to help me. There ARE docs out there who can help you too, but don't take the chance I did, seek them out!
The rest of the appointment before the procedure was the norm- counselor visit, making sure I was doing this of my own accord, asking about birth control, etc. It felt like forever in the "special" waiting room, because the people having medication abortions were called back first, although I was kinda comforted being surrounded by others going through the same thing. It's a lot of different emotions in one room. There is no wrong way to have this experience, and no matter how you feel, you are NOT alone. Everyone was super sweet and I loved the staff. All the nurses were even wearing pins that said "abortion is normal." Although it's a small gesture, it really made me feel nice.
Finally, I was called back by another young and super sweet nurse, and it was time for...

The Procedure

The nurse took me back to the surgical room, and gave me 800 mg ibuprofen and a 1x antibiotic orally. I double checked that she knew I was on suboxone, she confirmed and reassured me that she would give me as much pain medicine as I needed. She got me ready to start my IV, and I told her I can get woozy, so she had me lay down and gave me a cool towel for my forehead. Honestly the IV was one of the easiest ones I've ever had, so I took this as a good omen. I double checked that they would give local anaesthesia too, and made a dumb joke like "tell the doc to numb my junk so much I don't feel it until next week." Not sure if she giggled out of pity but I thought it was funny.
She gave me instructions to take off my pants and underwear, and put a pad in my underwear for after. On the advice of the wonderful ladies in this sub, I wore oversize PJ pants, granny panties and cute warm fuzzy socks and I am GLAD I did. The room is cold and socks are the best. The nurse went to get the dr and told me she'd be back in about 10 to 15, to give the advil time to kick in. I sent my final pre-text to my partner, took off my bra and tucked it in my purse (cause fuck that, imma be comfy), and laid down on the table to meditate. There were butterflies on the ceiling which I found to be a nice touch. This waiting was the very worst part.
About 15 min later, the doctor and nurse came back in and got everything prepped. They had me do the standard gyno scoot into the stirrups, then the nurse started my sedation. She gave me an IV of versed, which instantly calmed my ass down to the basement, and an IV of 1.5 doses of fentanyl, which I am sure most people would feel far more than I did. I don't know that I got much pain control from it, but it did put me in a bit of a good mood. What can I say, once an addict, always an addict! I think I made a mortifying joke like "damn I haven't felt like that in a long time." Yikes. The nurse told me my job was just to breathe, that she had meds ready if I needed more, and then the doctor started. I want to be VERY detailed about the pain and sensations, since that's what I wanted more than anything beforehand, but if you're squeamish scroll down to the next header.
She told me everything she was doing. First was the shots, she did two shallow and one deep. The shallow ones were a nothing burger, they felt like a flu shot. The deep one hurt a bit but nothing absurd, maybe 2/10. It was a crampy pain mostly, a bit of burning from the lidocaine, but if you've had a dental injection you'll recognize the feeling.
Then she started dilation. I've never been bothered by pap smears, honestly this part just felt like a long-ass pap smear. I'm not sure what I was doing with my body or hands, that versed is the mind wipe magic, but I was definitely saying "that kinda hurts" hah. The doctor was commending me on staying still so apparently I wasn't squiggling. It was like a 4/10 cramp pain for dilation, like my worst normal period days. It started around a 2 and made its way up to a 4 as the dilation increased. Like I said, felt like a long pap.
Then, the doctor said she was starting the suction. She did it manually so no machine noise. I think I just closed my eyes and said "aye fuck, aye fuck, that hurts." It was a very deep, crampy pain, definitely worse than any period cramps I've ever felt, but certainly not the worst pain I've ever felt (that honor goes to a 2nd degree burn on the palm of my hand). I'd rate it 7/10. It was the kind of pain you automatically want to squiggle away from, and can't really converse normally through, but you can also deal with if needed and breathe through cause it definitely didn't hurt enough to shut down my higher brain or anything. Like I said, I'm also pretty sure the fentanyl didn't really do much for me except adding a slight happy glow, so consider my experience as being probably closest to the sensation of the process with just ibuprofen and a local.
Just when I was about to say "maybe can we do a little more pain meds..." the doctor said "okay, we're all done!" and removed the instruments, and the pain immediately dropped back to a 4/10. I seriously said, "wait, what the fuck, that's it?" The doctor said "yup." After reading experiences here saying it took 5 mins, I was obsessed with setting a timer for 5 min and trying to imagine if I could endure the worst pain of my life for that long. I'm here to tell you, that 5 mins includes getting your butt situated and in the stirrups, starting any meds, doctor prepping tools, injecting the local, waiting for the local, doing the dilation, doing the suction, and finishing up removing everything. The "bad part," the actual suction, is INSANELY fast. I kept imagining I'd be counting down the seconds or something, but it seriously was so fast I didn't even have time to think "how many seconds are left?" It felt like an eye blink. Also, side note, I recently found out the reason that so many experiences involve "just when I thought I couldn't take it, it was over" is because (correct me if I'm wrong docs) the uterus typically contracts around the suction tool when everything is cleared. So that one moment of "holy shit give me more drugs" actually signals that you're done!
I lingered at a 4/10 pain for about 2 min, I just laid on the bed and breathed through it. It felt like a normal (albeit gnarly) period pain. I did get a little nauseated after, and the nurse offered me zofran, but then she mentioned it can interact with long qt (a heart condition) and suboxone can (very, VERY rarely) exacerbate long qt, so we negotiated about whether or not it was a good idea for a min and by the time I was about at a decision the nausea was gone so I skipped it, hah.
Because of all the factors I've mentioned, I felt pretty "with it" after, and didn't need any help putting my clothes on or walking, although the nurse stayed with me. All I could think/say was, "omg you guys are so amazing, that was so easy, thank you so much." She walked with me to the recovery room, I'm pretty sure I was smiling like a fucking goober which I feel bad about cause of course not everyone there is as happy as I was, but it is what it is.
It didn't feel NEARLY as invasive as I thought it might. I personally didn't feel any sensations of tugging or suction or anything, which is what I was scared of cause those are the kinds of sensations that can make me woozy. It was just cramps. Also, as a passer-outer at procedures due to sqeamishness, it was less passy-outy than some cosmetic things I've had done and that's saying something. Of course some people have a vasovagal fainting reflex, which can't be helped, but if you're like me and just squeamish it was WAY less invasive and creepy than facial fillers for me, hah. Everyone is different, of course, but that was my experience.
All in all, I felt that the procedure itself is SO WORTH IT. If you aren't sure if you can do it, YOU CAN DO IT! Yes, it can be painful, but yes, it's also over in a flash. Also if you aren't on opiate blockers, it'll probably suck even less for you. It helped me to think of it as a challenge... like, man, I sure can't wait to find out about my pain tolerance, hah!

Recovery and Going Home

I basically could have skipped out to the recovery room, I felt so happy and relieved that it was all over. Each nice little recovery chair was separated by a curtain, but the one bad part about the recovery room was that everyone could see you come in. I tried to be respectful but you can't help but notice people are in all kinds of physical and emotional states after. It made me feel oddly close to everyone around me as we had all just been through the same, very specific procedure that only people capable of becoming pregnant can experience. There's NO wrong way to experience your emotions after this! Like I said, I felt absolutely giddy that I could go back to normal life...I felt afraid I'd suddenly have a wave of negative emotion after it became "real" but I felt nothing but positive. And that's ok too!
Some in the recovery room were kinda nauseated from sedation, but I felt I recovered really quick cause... tolerance. The nurse put the recliner back and gave me a ginger ale and a heating pad, and I ate my own cookie I brought cause I have allergies, hah. My cramps went down to about a 1 at this point... I'd call them less cramps and more just "aware of my uterus' existence."
They took my blood pressure and o2 and checked my pain rating right after I came out, and again about 15 min after to make sure all was normal. Then the nurse had me go to the bathroom and do the blood check on my pad, and point to a picture of what it looked like. I had what they considered "light" bleeding, one step up from spotting, and the nurse said that's the most common. I basically just chilled waiting for my ride at this point, as they were ready to let me go after 15 mins in recovery. They took my bp one more time before I left, removed my IV when they were sure I wouldn't need it again, and then gave me a bottle of 800mg ibuprofen and I was good to go. A nurse walked me out to security and the guard asked if I wanted an escort to my car, but I declined cause my ride was right out front. I thought it was nice of him though.
On the ride home, my pain remained at a 1, and went down to a 0 after about 2 hr. I am bleeding about the same as a very light period (although I freaking hate pads). They told me to use pads for a few days to monitor bleeding, and actually warned me that I might get cramps in a few days as my uterus shrinks back to its pre-pregnancy size. My nausea which was torturous all pregnancy felt MUCH better by the time I got home, and I'm actually hungry for the first time in a couple weeks.

The End

Overall, as I told my husband, if I needed to I would ONE THOUSAND PERCENT have a surgical abortion again. I would rather save the money and the effort, but now that I know, I am absolutely so glad that is a service that's available to me. Yes it's a bit of pain, but it's just so absurdly worth it. It was in NO WAY even 1% as scary as my brain tried to make it out to be.
I feel so relieved and happy that my pregnancy is over. I'm ready to move forward and eat stuff again. I'm just so gd thankful that I had this option and feel incredibly thankful and lucky that I can go back to my life. Not many who need abortions have the luxuries I have, so I am just beyond grateful and plan to do everything I can to pay this forward. I've always been strongly pro choice with no strings attached, but more than anything I've come away feeling even MORE firmly that every person who wants an abortion deserves to have access to safe, legal abortion with no barriers put up by state, budget, etc.
Thank you ALL for being so kind and generous of spirit to share your own experiences. I really hope my experience helps someone and gives you inner calm on your journey, or helps someone make a more informed choice. Love you all!
Edit- not all people seeking abortions are women, fixed gendered language :)

Buying a tent from the UK and figuring out customs duties and excise

My take on a general prepping list

My take on a general prepping list for 1 person:
I'll break it down into categories for prepping include water, food, shelter, transportation, communications, protection, power, money, clothing, and medical.
The following is just a list of various options for each category with a link to a decent product (the link might not be cheapest option of the product). Each person might want a different option depending on your own constraints (i.e. space, money, time, etc)

Water:

1 gallon per day (so 30 gallons of potable water)
Don't store potable water in an uncleaned container. You can store potable water via:

Name	Description
Bath Tub Liner	Lines your bathtub so you cleanly store water in your bathtub
Non Stack-able Large handheld water containers	Pretty cost efficient way to store potable water, but it can't stack. Comes with a valve.
Smaller stack-able water container	Can fit under beds/sofas/etc
55 gallon plastic drum	This takes up a lot of room so not the best choice in an apartment. But this is a space efficient way to store the most water. Will also need a siphon
Case of water bottles	Most costly way to buy and store water. They are convenient to use, but the bottles can break easily.

You can filter water (minus heavy metals) using the following methods:

UV Light	Will need to use a prefilter such as a coffee filter to remove large particulates. It is fragile but unlike the rest of the methods, this also kills viruses.
Desktop water container filter
Glass hollow fiber filters	Get the sawyer mini over the life straw it filters more water, costs less, can be used as a life straw, can be used as a filter for a used soda bottle, can be used as a gravity filter
Ceramic filter	Careful to not let these freeze. They will break and still let water through but you wont know the filter broke.
Unscented Bleach	Don't use scented bleach. Use 8 drops of Regular Clorox Bleach per gallon of water.
Chlorine Dioxide	They come in tablet and drop form. Tablet form does not freeze.

In the event a water outage, get a rain barrel to store water to flush your toilets. That way you don't waste your purified water to flush your toilet. Or you can use heavy duty trash bags in your toilet to do the deed.

Food

If you are just starting out, have at least 2 weeks worth of food. 2 meals a day is fine.
There are several ways to preserve your food:

Name	Description
Canning
Dehydrator	inexpensive option, but food lasts around 5 years if properly stored
Freeze Dryer	expensive option, but food can last 30 years if properly stored
Mylar bags and oxygen absorbers	fill a mylar bag with your dried food, then toss in the appropriate amount of oxygen absorbers and use a heat sealer to close the bag.
Freeze dried meals	Mountain house, backpackers pantry, alpine aire, etc. But these are expensive
Non-perishable foods	These are pastas, rice, dried beans, canned food, oats, etc. Just keep an eye out for bulging cans (a symptom that the food is unsafe to consume)

Ways to cook your food

Name	Description
Cold soaking	Depending on the dried food, you put your food in a jar and let it soak in water until the food re-hydrates and consume. Not the best way, but its free
Sterno Gel fuel stove	not a very cost efficient way to cook
White gas stove	can work in below freezing temperature. "small" and "light weight". They can burn white gas, kerosene, unleaded auto fuel, diesel, and jet fuel.
Butane canister stove	an affordable easy option to cook with, but it doesn't have good pressure when its close to freezing temperatures. Also its large and heavy.
Alcohol stove Zelph starlyte stove , trangia stove , or DIY soda can/cat food can stove	can be free if you make the soda can stove or fancy feast stove. Only way to be turned off is to burn off all the alcohol unless you get the zelph starlyte you can blow it out or the trangia you can snuff it out with the lid. If you use these outside, get a windscreen. They take a while to boil water and don't simmer well/if at all. The can burn denatured alcohol and gas line antifreeze (yellow bottle of heet).
Isobutane/propane stove	great for camping, bad for simmering. They can work in lower temperature compared to butane stoves, but also struggle in below freezing temperatures. Also the canisters can't safely be refilled and are expensive.
wood gasifier stove backpack sized stove or backyard sized fire pit	These burn the solid wood fuel then burn the wood gas for a more efficient burn and less smoke (not smokeless though).
campfire	use seasoned wood for a more efficient burn
wood stove	make sure you clean your chimney and to use seasoned wood. Using wet or unseasoned firewood is less efficient, cause more smoke, and releases creosote in the chimney

Shelter

You have a home/apartment. If possible stay at your current home (you are familiar with the area and already have your current supplies there.

Dont leave your doors/windows unlocked.
Keep your blinds/curtains closed.
If you can install surveillance (i.e doorbell cameras, or cctv cameras

Transportation

Try to have a spare can of gas in your shed or garage. Without a fuel stabilizer added, it will last 3-6 months. With fuel stabilizer added, it will last 1-3 years.
Have an emergency kit in your car (the very least have spare water, food, warm clothes/blanket, spare tire, jack, jumper pack, and light)
Keep your vehicle maintained
Have at least 1/3 of tank of gas in your vehicle at all times.
Keep a paper map or a standalone gps in your vehicle.

If you have a bug out location, be sure you are physically able to get there.

Traffic might block major roads
Trees might be down across the roads
The roads might be flooded
You might not be able to get to your bug out location by driving so have alternative modes of transportation:
- bicycle
- ebike
- atv
- hike
  - If you think you can hike to your bug out location, DO A PRACTICE RUN. Actually hike with what you plan to bug out on your back. At the very least do it on a treadmill. You will realize you are carrying way too much crap. Get your pack weight to 20% of your total weight.

Communications

Name	Description
Cellphone	Most people already have one
FRS radio	cheap, free to use, low range
GMRS radio	$35/10 years for a license. Low range, but better than FRS.
Gotenna mesh	can send text and gps location via smartphone without cellphone network. Limited range
Analog Ham radio
Digital DMR Ham radio	Can send gps location, text message, and voice message over radio frequencies. Will need a license, which requires a test to pass, to transmit.
Digital Ham radio	Send voice message father range via repeaters. Will need a license, which requires a test to pass, to transmit.
CB radio	free to operate
satellite messenger Garmin inReach or Spot Messenger	Garmin works worldwide, while spot works only in the US. Each require an activation fee and a monthly/yearly service fee.

Protection

Laws depends on where you live.

Pump 12 gauge shotgun (perfect for home defense and you can change the barrel and hunt with it)
Pistol with hollow points
stun gun
mace
pepper ball gun
taser
knife

Power

In the event of a blackout, you want to make sure you have a backup power supply such as:

Name	description
Solar panels	Sometimes when they are installed on homes, they only go to the grid, reducing your electric bill. This setup wont help you in a black out situation. You need panels that charge batteries
Lithium Battery station	These will let you power your laptop, lights, small refrigerator etc. But make sure you have a solar panel to charge it. Also expensive.
Natural gas generator	They are loud, but are usually bolted to the ground and are heavy so they are hard to walk off with.
Portable gas generator	These are loud but the honda ones are quieter. Make sure you run these outside of your house and outside of your garage. There are countless deaths involved with CO poisoning from generators. Also lock them to something as people can walk off with them.
USB power bank	They will charge your phone, can jump your car or truck, but that's about it.
lead acid battery with inverter	overall an inexpensive setup.

Money

It's a good idea to have some money not in the bank in the event of a blackout rendering ATMs, credit cards, debit cards, and crypto useless.
If you do have cash, make sure you have variety of low denomination bills.

Clothing

From my mountaineering experiences and below 0F backpacking experiences, if you are going to be outside in the cold, wool and synthetic layers are your friend. Cotton gets wet and stays wet. Synthetic fabric wicks sweat away from you and dries fast.
When dressing your top dress: thin baselayer fleece midlayer puffy hardshell jacket
When dressing your bottom: long underwear synthetic sweatpants snowpants/rain pants

Medical

first-aid kit recommendations:

ace bandage
various sized bandages
surgical pad/maxi-pads with a non-adherent dressing i.e. Telfa
antibiotic ointment
Alcohol prep pads
Advil
Tylenol
Quick-clot
Butterfly stitches/suture
isopropyl alcohol/ hydrogen peroxide with cotton balls
benadryl
tweezers
N-95 masks
Gauze
medical tape
super glue
Epi-pen (if applicable)
Over the counter medicine you normally take
medical gloves
hand sanitizer
thermometer

Soundless Conflicts - 28

Navigation		Destinations
« Back	28	Forward »
1-10	11-20	21-30
« Beginning		End »

Field Executions
Every conversation is combat.
There were no formal classes on verbal knife fighting in Management, just like there are no training wheels when it comes to life. Either one has the wit, tenacity and sheer mean-spirited nature required or they don't. Slow learners typically opted out early on for their careers, choosing to work back channel deals or grind out accomplishments to incrementally climb the promotional ladder. But fast burners-- those going to the higher ranks of Management-- got out the daggers early and honed that verbal edge.
Then there were the gifted ones. Hated by rivals, feared by underlings, admired by anyone not in direct competition. Through upbringing or raw social genius they came pre-equipped to cross a verbal battlefield slaying out the competition, untouchable and making it look easy the entire way. Measured against peers they were the lone alphas, the prideful wolves of words, packing not just verbal knives but outright longswords.
Measured on that scale Jamet Reals was a goddamn fencing instructor.
First blood was always important. Almost before the airlock fully opened she was going for a gut wound. "Move it, workers. Strip; everything in the container."
She beat Executive Rachel Targer by a full second, mouth already open to begin a tirade of demands and half-accusations scripted to bully her way on board. Instead of a verbal barrage the Upper choked on every syllable, sputtering. "What did you say to me?!" Kicking sideways, she floated in front of the small group to get a clear angle on where Jamet waited by the hatch. "I will sanction you so hard you'll be scraping-"
They locked eyes. Combat, engaged. Executive wounded.
Knowing your opponent was vital, so out came a rapid social evaluation. Targer's gaze flicked downwards over Jamet, taking in the tailored blue and black Corporate uniform, impeccable shoes and flawless accessories. Uniforms were very much considered to be armor and regulations allowed a lot of subtle leeway when it came to quality. She'd long ago taken it to the limits: The blacks shimmered, the blues so deep they were almost indigo, stitching so tight as to be invisible. Even the gloves tucked neatly through her belt sported subtle monograms. In preparation for this exact encounter Jamet took special pains on her hair-- tight black bun, not a strand floating out of place, braided bangs sweeping backward behind both ears.
She'd left her medal rack off, though. Her upper chest was bare of tiny ribbons and Corporate accomplishment bits. Which could be interpreted as complete inexperience... or grandmaster power so high she was above the game entirely. Dangerous waters to judge, if her opponent decided to take a plunge.
In comparison Executive Targer was an absolute wreck. Blonde hair greasy and matted into a dingy straw color, stuffed hastily behind the neck of her skinsuit. The suit itself wasn't much better: It said a lot to have a customized emergency kit, but over half a year of living in it took all the shine off. It was now a complex grid of sloppy, hastily applied patches and replacement components that didn't match. Accessories missing or discarded. About the only thing left were the gold slashes of rank on sleeves and collar and the surgically-perfect makeup permanently embedded on her face.
It honestly wasn't fair: Seven months of neglect versus hours of preparation. But playing fair was for losers.
Jamet watched her counterpart go through several levels of reactions with almost forensic attention. Either through hubris or sloth Targer didn't have much-- or stopped practicing-- facial control, letting every mental calculus fly right across her permanently accented features. In the space of just a few seconds she treated the entire room to belligerent anger that crash landed into a valley of concern, then whiplashed wildly between deep worry and sneering hostility.
Then she saw the red co-CEO slashes on Jamet's collar. Worry turned instantly into smug condescension as Targer went on the attack. "A lieutenant greeting the hatch? I'd be insulted, but standards must have dropped in the last few months."
Slash. Parry: "Inventory of new personnel assets isn't a priority." Sidestep, lunge: "Independent! We are delighted to have you aboard. Let me expedite your process." Jamet directed a broad smile at the small suited contractor, beaming delight while snapping impatiently for Janson to come over. "Please follow our Security officer, I'll have a VIP quarters assigned to you immediately. Take your time settling in and I sincerely hope we can talk soon."
Targer slapped a glove down on the Independent's shoulder, fingers digging like claws. "Stay right where you are, mister Thompson. There are some employment details to discuss first." She glared death at Janson until he drifted to a halt, then tried for a leg wound on Jamet. "I would hope the lieutenant knows poaching workers under contract is a sanctionable offense."
She took the cut, then moved aggressively into the opening. "Very true. But there are no working facilities in this system, therefore no employment or workers." Which was a twofold strike at both the Executive's authority and her base at the same time. Jamet extended for the combo: "I wonder if Management positions have been terminated yet."
Which hammered hard on a fear that had to be festering in the Upper's soul. Just being out of touch for a vacation could result in coming back to an empty division, all assets reallocated and budgets zeroed out. Seven months, trapped on a derelict station without any communications? It was a guarantee the specter of demotion kept the woman awake and panicking.
Jamet knew the strike was deep when Targer abruptly released the Independent. A quick series of emotions darted across her face, finally settling in conciliatory. She tried a tactical retreat. "Perhaps we got off on the wrong foot. I'm sure you understand how exhausted we all are. Some time to recover would be in order; we can continue this discussion afterwards in a more civilized way."
By which she meant time to buy and bribe loyalty from the survivors, arrange accidents for troublemakers and suss out anyone disloyal in Jamet's organization for dirt. All while researching the lieutenant for weak points and going over her head to Management.
Not an ice cube's chance in a dwarf star. "I'm afraid the Kipper doesn't provide free passage. We have crew, workers, paying passengers and recovered assets." She threw that last in the Exec's face with a knowing look, giving her another small cut to manage. "If we cannot sort out your status then you are free to remain aboard the derelict station until construction vessels arrive to disassemble it." Which was a polite way of offering Targer the option to commit suicide while simultaneously slamming the hatch on any attempt at retreat. Then she disengaged, weapon en garde and prepared for any response.
Independent Thompson took that opening to slide quietly away, head down and ghosting along as silently as possible. They both let the man go, for different reasons: Targer didn't want to undermine her own position by clarifying her worker's status, while Jamet was just glad to get a potential casualty out of the duel. Although she did shift slightly sideways, keeping the Exec in sight while watching from the corner of her eye to make sure Janson took the unspoken request. She breathed a mental sigh of relief when the Security suited man gestured Thompson out of the room.
That completed their first engagement. Jamet was destroying the Upper on points, but cornered opponents were often more dangerous. This fight wasn't over.
She circled, looking for an opening. "I really must request you declare your status aboard ship."
Targer eeled around in kind, smiling like a collapsing star. "Perhaps I'm simply a visiting Executive. Are there no guest quarters?"
"Guest quarters, on a Fiscal Recovery vessel? You must be unfamiliar with procedure." Which was a cheap shot, glancing off the other woman's armor without registering.
"Of course I am-- I've never Managed a project that needed the cleaners called in." Point to Targer, although an attack on Jamet's imaginary status at Corporate didn't land with the same weight the Exec thought it did. She tried a follow up cut, hoping for a free hit: "Perhaps you could describe options for Upper Executives, like myself? I could pick the one that suits."
At the mention of 'suits' Jamet dipped her eyes to the Executive's battered ensemble. It was another cheap shot, but a free one. It struck home, bringing a slow flush of angry red to Targer's cheeks. She continued as if nothing happened, drawing the woman out. "That would be crew status, I believe. Are you requesting to join?" Which, as a co-CEO, would put the woman beneath Jamet's supervision and expose her to every dirty sanction, lien, fine, penalty and career report Corporate ever dreamed up. It was a sucker trap that would fall directly on her sword.
Targer didn't step into the bait. She maneuvered for higher ground, instead. "Is your Captain available? I would like to speak with them about temporary co-CEO status."
Which was a very interesting deadlock, hilts crossed and threatening the loser with a severed finger: Jamet couldn't very well refuse a request from an Upper Executive to speak to the Captain, even if the Upper in question was of... questionable status at the moment. That would be a gross overstep of authority, actionable and sanctionable, that Targer could use for a legal complaint. Which, naturally, would freeze everything until Corporate HR weighed in-- and giving the Exec a free ride in the meantime. It was a bold move with no downside from the the tall woman's position: Either she got to speak with the Captain (and worked every bribery trick in the book) or compromised the lieutenant into a misstep.
In any other conversational battle it might have been a come-from-behind deathblow. But Jamet was legendary for wielding a verbal blade.
So instead of answering, Jamet spun slowly to face the third person in the airlock. Small, frail and quiet, with downcast eyes and the posture of a habitual victim. She gave the top of the little boy's head an interested look, pretending to notice Peter Minyer for the first time. "Who is this? Another worker?"
And for the first time since arriving on board, Rachel Targer showed actual terror. Raw, open and panicked; her face twisted hard as every expression fought for supremacy at once. Frantic eyes shot from Jamet to her son, then back to the lieutenant again as she instinctively pushed off the hatch to float in front of the boy. "This is my... dependent." She was fighting on two fronts now, taking wounds on each.
Jamet raised both eyebrows, pitiless. "Crew members cannot have dependents, of course." Stab. Twist.
"This hardly qualifies as a normal situation." She was visibly sweating now, a line of water leaving a clean trail down her neck. Down on both knees, but still fighting.
"Oh, absolutely." Jamet carelessly offered her handheld console. "So you're paying for your dependent's passage, then? You'll need to confirm funds." Blade to tendon, severing motion.
Targer struck desperately, looking to land any blow. "He has a life threatening condition. Leukemia. That qualifies for exceptional patient status." Invisible blood washed the deck.
The console didn't waver, aimed at the Exec's chest like a threat. "Which you can pay for, I assume? A retainer would be necessary. You understand." Flash of red and the sword goes flying, lost forever.
"I- I would need... some time to contact creditors and-" Forget Rachel Targer, Upper Executive. That woman was gone. Some other person stood in her place, eyes bright with panic and the sudden collapse of a privileged worldview.
Jamet dropped a bootheel on her neck, forcing her to the deck. "Events have put us out of GravComm contact for the moment. If you can't confirm a retainer, I'm afraid your dependent has no place here, in Medical or otherwise." She raised the blade, overhead lights flashing on every nick in the steel, every whetstone-kissed edge, every notch of victorious conquest.
And damn it all, Jamet actually saw the other woman consider the option. A cold, lizard-like gaze slid through both green eyes as she considered abandoning her own child to secure life on board. If Peter Minyer never made it onto the Kipper then Targer would be free to push her case with the Captain while still retaining Executive status. There was a good chance she'd weasel that advantage all the way to a Corporate system, unite with backup funds and come back even stronger for revenge.
All it would cost was leaving a small boy on the other side of a dead airlock. One more disposable asset in a career filled with them.
Jamet watched the Executive's eyes go from panicked, to cold, to dead inside. Oh shit. Don't. That's too far, just take worker status you miserable bitch. Outwardly she was still as a statue, console offered patiently.
Targer opened her mouth. "Peter, go wait on the stat-"
Lieutenant Reals beheaded her. "You are under arrest." Hack. "For fiscal malfeasance, failure of Management leading to destruction of Corporate property and loss of capital assets." Chop. "Security! Escort Ms. Targer to the nearest cargo bay and disable the hatch access. If she so much as speaks once shoot her until she stops moving." Jamet kicked the bloody head onto her trophy pile, waist high and moaning victory dirges.
The former Executive jolted in place, then ran an emotional gauntlet from stunned relief all the way back into brazen outrage. "You have no authority to do that! I demand to see-"
"Security Janson." Siers' voice over the speakers boomed like a deity of old. "Secure that woman at once, or I will have you sanctioned."
Prodded into motion, Janson kicked off hard against the wall and all but tackled the woman. Even in freefall his mass took her completely off both feet, flipping them both upside down into the wall. There was a brief struggle, then the big Engineer-turned-Security flipped them both upright again, this time with Targer's hands bound behind her back. He spun her once with a quick shove to her shoulder, snatching both kicking ankles and applying another restraint. Then it was out the far hatch with his struggling burden, dragging her by the skinsuit collar the entire way.
Jamet watched the entire process from inside the airlock, where she'd wisely retreated when two hundred pounds of armored Security suit headed her way. As the last edge of Targer's filthy skinsuit disappeared she nodded once, then rotated in place to look down at the carefully still form of Peter Minyer.
He didn't move, eyes averted toward the wall and one finger barely hooked onto a support handle. Jamet opened her mouth to say something, then mentally reviewed every statement and stalled out. There was nothing inside of her right now that spoke of comfort or reassurance. She was war mode, blooded Corporate, and Executives didn't comfort small, nearly crying children.
Paul saved them both, drifting through the hatch with a practiced flip that somehow made his long limbs look graceful. He had the faceplate transparent now, eyebrows raised and concern written on every feature. "Peter? Are you alright?"
No response. Paul looked at her. "Ma'am, I am going to take him to Medical. You will have to do without me for a bit."
After a moment she nodded, unsure of what else to do. It didn't matter anyways-- the lanky Medical specialist didn't wait for her approval before holding his hand out for Peter's. He took it slowly, careful not to look at anyone or draw unnecessary attention, and a moment later they were both gone.
Jamet floated alone, colder than deep space and hating it.
The exterior hatch beeped. More survivors requesting access.
She looked at the overheads, voice carefully modulated not to crack. "Emilia?" It must have looked like she was pleading with the stars.
There was a long, significant pause until the short technician replied in a wary tone. "Lieutenant?"
"I'm going to need you. Down here, I mean." Another beep. "I can't do this alone."

Housewife highlights/Daily shit talk - January 17th, 2021

DALLAS

Tiffany Moon Teases the “Messy” RHOD Moment She’s “A Little Scared” for This Season (Bravo's The Daily Dish podcast)

"In an interview on the January 16 episode of The Daily Dish podcast, the newest RHOD cast member revealed there’s one moment she shared with the ladies that she’s a bit nervous to rewatch.
“You know, my birthday was in the middle of the season. And Kary [Brittingham] hosted the most beautiful birthday party, and it was during quarantine times and it was just the seven of us Housewives. And I may have been a little overserved at my birthday party,” Tiffany shared. “There may be some, uh, silly birthday antics, if you will, I hope America will forgive me for, because I was just letting my hair down and letting loose. I’ve been a frontline worker during this pandemic. I was full-time while shooting, and I had to let my hair down a little bit during that party. But it might be a little messy. I’m a little scared.”
Tiffany went on to explain that, although she was the life of her birthday party, that’s not necessarily her role in the group. According to Tiffany, that title belongs to Kary: “She is the life of the party that I wish I could be. She’s 50 years old, and I’m 36 years old, and she will kick my ass at partying any day,” Tiffany joked. “I’m over here, like, tired all the time, and she is just the life of the party, dancing, getting things going. She has such a good spirit about her. But sometimes, I’m like, I just want to go to bed.”

2 and half minute video interview: Kameron Westcott Teases Explosive Season Of 'RHOD' (ET Canada)
RHOD Alum Tiffany Hendra Says She Underwent Surgery for Melanoma: 'A Whirlwind Week' (People)

"Tiffany Hendra is detailing her recent experience with skin cancer and urging others to stay vigilant about their health.
The Real Housewives of Dallas alum, 49, revealed on Instagram Saturday that she had officially entered the "Melanoma Warrior Tribe" after recently undergoing surgery for a dangerous mole.
Hendra posted several photos of her arm before and after her procedure, revealing the large scar she sustained after having Mohs surgery, a surgical technique that removes layers of cancer-containing skin, according to the Mayo Clinic.
"❤️CATCH IT EARLY!!" Hendra began the lengthy caption. "It's been a whirlwind week and must share this journey to encourage everyone to be in tune with your body and do regular at-home body scans as well as yearly scans with your doc."
Hendra explained that she had a "normal looking flat freckle" on her upper arm which "popped up like a pimple" around October. "I kept an eye on it and mid- December it grew with a vengeance," she said.
The former Bravo reality star noted that she recently had another mole removed that "grew crazy fast" and checking her moles has always been something "on my radar."
Hendra also shared that her "awesome doc Dr. Parker" did her Mohs surgery and her final pathology Friday came back "ALL CLEAR!"
"He's also a plastic surgeon so I'm confident my scar with[sic] be a pretty one," she added.
Hendra's next step is to receive another all-clear after getting her lymph nodes checked.
"This wound is no joke w/ multiple layers of stitches (hurts like a mutha), but I'm so blessed to have a really sexy male nurse taking good care of me AaronHendra ❤," she said of her husband.
The actress also included a "side note" in her post about how "new 5G radiation" can contribute to various forms of cancer.
"With the new 5G radiation and phone in my hand constantly during this pandemic plus being close to the WiFi router, we are diving deeper into how EMF and cell phone radiation contributes to skin and breast cancer! Stay tuned," she wrote.
In concluding her message, Hendra again encouraged her followers to "not ignore your body."
"If you have a pimple that won't go away or mole that is changing -- GO GET IT CHECKED!!" she urged.
The star also shared on her Instagram Stories that she feels a "whole new compassion" as she processes her health scare. "Amazing how clear your perspective is about many things in life and the people who matter most when the word cancer and melanoma enter the scene," she wrote."
NEW YORK

Ramona shares a photo of herself, Tinsley, Leah and Luann (Ramona Singer Instagram/Bravo)
Jill Zarin has built a face-mask empire during the pandemic (Page Six)

"There have been lots of unexpected developments in the past months, but who could have predicted Jill Zarin becoming a mask mogul?
The former “Real Housewives of New York” star and daughter Ally Shapiro started making face coverings early in the pandemic, and have built a surprisingly lively empire.
They say their masks are now available in 4,000 stores, including Homegoods, Lester’s, Big Drop and Zitomer, and will soon be available on trendy site Something Navy.
According to the pair, they’ve been worn by Andy Cohen, Kris Jenner, Amanda Kloots, TikTok queens Addison Rae and Dixie and Charli D’Amelio, among others.
They also say they’ve donated thousands of masks to frontline workers.
They plan to add clothing and candles to their range."
ORANGE COUNTY

Braunwyn Windham-Burke Tells Kelly Dodd: ‘Don’t F with My Family’ (US Weekly)

"Real Housewives of Orange County star Braunwyn Windham-Burke would “absolutely not” mend her friendship with costar Kelly Dodd.
In November, Dodd posted and deleted a video of what appeared to be Windham-Burke’s license plates on her cars outside of her home.
“When she docks my house and put all my personal information and my address and put my kids’ lives in jeopardy, I was done, game over. I mean, it was a nightmare. It was crossing a line,” the Bravo star told Us Weekly exclusively on the Friday, January 15, episode of the “Getting Real with the Housewives”podcast. “You don’t F with my family and she did.”
In December, Dodd, 45, claimed that the Windham-Burke, 43, hired a photographer to take professional photos of herself at a Black Lives Matter protest and accused her of faking her sobriety. On January 13, she then alleged that her costar staged paparazzi photos with her husband Sean Burke going to a sex shop.
“There was a lot of lies that were told about me this year. A lot of people saying that I hired an investigator, No, I didn’t. I hired a photographer for Black Lives Matter — no, I didn’t. They said I don’t pay my taxes … so there’s just a lot of lies,” the mom of seven told Us. “At one point I was like, you know what, I’m not doing this anymore. I can’t just sit here listening to you guys lie loudly and often and believe it. Like, I’m out, you know? That was hard.”
One person that has had her back is former RHOC star Tamra Judge, who she revealed was with her when her husband went out on his first date. The pair, who have been married for 20 years, have a “modern marriage,” with Windham-Burke now dating girlfriend, Kris.
“When Sean was on his first date, I thought I was going to be fine and I’m at dinner with her and I’m shaking and she’s like, ‘Honey, it’s OK. It’s OK,’” the California native explained to Us. “Tamra knew about me being sober and she’s known about the issues. She’s known about all this stuff in my marriage before it ever got out there and she keeps her mouth shut. She is a very good person.”

Braunwyn Windham-Burke and Sean Burke Are ‘Happy’ As They Date Other People Amid Open Marriage (US Weekly exclusive)

"Braunwyn Windham-Burke and her husband, Sean Burke, are working on redefining their relationship while dating other people in their open marriage, a source tells Us Weekly exclusively.
“Both are allowed to date people and are happy!” the insider told Us about the couple’s status days after Braunwyn, 43, confirmed to Us that her husband, 47, has been seeing other women since she came out as a lesbian in November.
The Real Housewives of Orange County star, who revealed in December that she is dating a 28-year-old woman named Kris, clarified an earlier statement that she’d be “heartbroken” if her husband started seeing other women.
“Dating someone and falling in love and starting a new life are two very different things,” she told Us. “If Sean dated someone, that’s great. I support that. I think he should be.”
Braunwyn confirmed to Us that Sean has been on dates, but said, “nothing serious” has come up. “That’s not heartbreaking. That’s OK,” she said, adding that what would break her heart would be to see her husband “falling in love” with someone else and “starting a new life.”
“I think that just means that I have a heart, you know,” she told Us. “I think anyone in our positions can know that things are going to have to change, but it doesn’t mean it’s not hard.”
“We’ve been together 26 years. We’ve been together since we were children,” Braunwyn continued. “And I think that people kind of forget that it’s not just that we’re married, we’ve been together since we were kids. We are family. We are each other’s people. We are closer to each other than anyone else.”
“Would that hurt? I’m not talking about losing the marriage, I’m talking about losing my best friend, my person that’s been with me since I was 18. So yes, I would be heartbroken,” she said. “Does that say that I don’t want to be happy? Of course, I do. I think it would be weird if I wasn’t heartbroken if my husband of 26 years fell in love with someone else.”
While the pair — who share seven children, Bella, 20, Rowan, 18, Jacob, 15, twins Caden and Curren, 7, Koa, 5, and Hazel, 2 — continue to live together, they sleep on separate floors of their home. Braunwyn declined to reveal whether her relationship with Sean is now strictly platonic.
“We do want to stay together,” she told Us earlier this week. “We want to have an open marriage and we want to be able to do it honestly. And, you know, not have our feelings hurt. I am very open with him. You know, I have big fears of abandonment for how I was, was a child. So my jealousy, my things we’re working on, that I know they’re not great. We’re working on them so that we can get to, you know, a healthy place. And I do think we’re going to get there. I really do, because we have the communication, we have the trust, great therapist and we both have the similar goal for our future, which is sitting there in Hawaii, watching our grandkids play.”

Braunwyn Windham-Burke is seen for the first time since her husband was seen getting 'handsy' with new girlfriend (Daily Mail exclusive)
6 minute video: Get Kitchen Fit with a Real Housewife of Orange County (CBS8)

"Emily Simpson joined Morning Extra to talk about the Real Housewives of Orange County season finale as well as her Kitchen Fit weight loss secrets."

Meghan King Goes Instagram Official with “Friend-Turned-Boyfriend” Will Roos (Meghan King Instagram/Bravo)
What Are Thread Lifts And Why Are So Many Orange County Housewives Getting Them? (Bravo)

"Shannon Storms Beador, Kelly Dodd, and Braunwyn Windham-Burke have all tried this non-invasive treatment — and some of them are going back for more.
In this exclusive sneak peek at the season 15 reunion, Kelly Dodd dished on the first beauty treatment she got when personal care businesses reopened after COVID-19 safety measures earlier this year.
"I got threads done," Kelly revealed referring to a thread lift. The mom shared that she got three threads added to one side of her face and two on the other side. “I could’ve gotten more I think, but I didn't want to be pulled back too much,” she explained.
When Andy Cohen asked if anyone else had tried the procedure, both Braunwyn Windham-Burke and Shannon Storms Beador admitted they did.
“I only did like one or two,” Braunwyn shared. She added, "If you’re like in your 40s and you’re not ready for a facelift, it’s a good in between.”
Shannon also revealed that she’s tried a couple of thread lifts and plans to do a bigger version of it in January "because I have jowls."
So what exactly is this procedure the ‘Wives seems to be loving? "You can think of it as a non-surgical facelift," shared Dr. Jennifer Armstrong, MD, who performed a lower face and jowl thread lift on Braunwyn last November.
The procedure is done under local anesthesia. Once the area is numb, a needle is used to create a portal to insert suspension threads that will pull and lift the skin. The threads then dissolve over time.
As Dr. Armstrong explained, there are many different threads on the market. "Our threads are made out of PLLA (polylactic acid), and what polylactic acid does is it promotes collagen production," Armstrong shared. “So, you get the initial physical lift from the suspension threads, and then as they dissolve, it builds up your natural collagen to hold that lift.”
Unlike a traditional surgical facelift, there’s no incision, no scar, and little downtime. Armstrong shared that some patients may feel some soreness for up to 14 days. However, the results are instant.
Another major difference between a traditional facelift and a thread lift is that the latter is not permanent. How long the threads actually last can vary depending on the doctor performing the procedure. Dr. Armstrong's patients can expect their threads to dissolve within two years.
With an average cost of $5,000 for a full face thread lift compared to the estimated $7,000 to $12,000 needed for a surgical facelift, the treatment might also serve as a more cost-effective alternative.
Armstrong’s most important tip: "Go to someone with experience."
MELBOURNE

Four contestants on Australian I’m A Celeb (including Pettifleur Berenger) are attended by medics after brutal ice water challenge that left one star fearing he would ‘pass away’ (Daily Mail)

POTOMAC

Gizelle Bryant Shares Flashback Photos of Her Sorority Days in College (Gizelle Bryant Instagram/Bravo)

BEVERLY HILLS

Lisa Rinna’s daughter Delilah Hamlin models her 1998 Oscars dress (Page Six Style)

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The History of the Gunnerson Family Holiday Tradition

Sweetbreads.
Derived from the 16th Century. The thymus or pancreas, usually taken from a calf or lamb, but sometimes procured from the ovary or testicles. First, soaked in cold water to remove all traces of blood. Then poached in milk until tender.
As a kid, my father told me it had been a holiday tradition that dated back generations in his family. I would later find out just how far back that was when I turned 16. When I learned the history of the Gunnerson Family Holiday Tradition.
Our families have continually been amongst the upper echelon of society for over some centuries, as leaders, politicians, tycoons, icons, you name it. Every member of every family knew nothing but success and happiness from birth up until their last, dying breaths. And the sweetbreads, my parents told me, were the key to their success. Centuries ago, our ancestors were on the brink of destruction. They had no food, no resources, no home. They had nothing left. And they prayed to anything that would grant them release.
Something answered.
And they made a deal.
They were given a choice. An annual tradition that must be kept. And for as long as it was, the family and all their descendants would never know a day of sorrow again.
My father told me that he had learned the same age I did, and so had my brothers, and eventually, my baby sister would too. My father told me that it had been his own grandfather that had established the tradition on a holiday, in his own words, as the ultimate sign of mockery towards God and the Holy Spirit.
That year on Christmas Eve, after dinner, my parents dismissed my brothers from the table, telling them to “prepare”. Prepare for what I didn’t know. After they left, my parents told me the complete history of the Gunnerson Holiday Tradition. And after they finished, my father said it was time for me to join my brothers, my mother, and himself in the Tradition. I would only have to watch this year, he said. But next year I would have to do everything.
Alone.
My brothers by then had returned to the kitchen and my parents rose, beckoning me to follow them. I did as I was told, following my family through the back doors and outside into the cold December night, and down the path to our garage. Our enormous compound was located some ways outside the town my father was mayor of, within an isolated patch of dense forest. I had always complained as a kid that my friends could never visit, that we were never allowed to give out our address.
Now I know why.
I entered the garage behind the family and saw that half the space had been blocked off by white sheets. The overhead lights were off, with only the glow of a dozen candles providing any illumination. My mother, who had been a highly respected specialist within the medical field, wheeled out a metal cart. On top lay a collection of surgical knives, masks, and gloves. She passed out gloves and masks for everyone, and once we all had them on, my father finally pulled back the curtain.
There was a woman, someone I’d never seen before, strapped to a table. She looked to be sleeping, and I could see her bare chest moving slowly up and down. My father wordlessly picked up the longest of the knives off the table and handed it to my eldest brother. My brother just took it and stepped up to the woman. I looked back and studied her. She looked to be around my mother’s age, with long, flowing strawberry blonde hair that was placed directly on top of her breasts, maybe in some vain attempt to retain her dignity. An IV ran from her arm to a pole next to the table, which I assumed was some sort of drug to keep her unconscious. She was slender, her body pure of any deformities or blemishes.
I looked at the woman, and then at the knife my brother was holding, and then back at my father. This entire time, nobody had uttered a word. The air was stifled with an uncomfortable silence. My father then finally spoke up. He said only one word.
“Begin”
Then I remembered the sweetbreads. I almost threw my entire dinner up right then and there. I had never seen a knife cut through human flesh before. My head began to swirl and I wanted to look away, but I knew I couldn’t. It was like watching the flaming wreckage of a car accident on the side of the road. I didn’t want to see. But I couldn’t look away.
So, I stood in silence, as my brother collected our sweetbreads.
After it was done, my family began filing out of the garage one at a time. I stood, frozen in place, looking at the white curtain that father had thankfully pulled back. Mother was the last to leave. She did her best to console me, telling me it had been hard for her to adjust in the beginning, but that this one sacrifice was well worth the treasures it brought. I just looked at her, dumbfounded, unsure, of what to say.
“But then what?” I asked numbly.
“What do you mean?” She inquired back.
“What happens to us afterwards? After all this” I asked, dreading the answer.
My mother, taken aback, thought for a moment. Then smiled.
“We join the rest of the family. Ruling together, forever” she said with an icy chill that clung to her words.
Together.
Forever.
But where? I already knew before I had even asked. Somewhere, deep inside, knew from the start. The never-ending flow of cash, the isolated mansion, our status within the town. I had gotten every single thing I had ever wanted my whole life. And this was the cost.
Only one day a year. Just one.
I followed my mother back inside, masking my shame in a cloud of indifference. Everything had changed. The way I viewed the world, my family, our name, my life, even my very soul. I didn’t sleep a wink that night. I tried, but every time I would close my eyes, I saw the woman, still strapped to the table. And then I saw the blood pour from her throat.
And then the sweetbreads.
My father warned me, once the Tradition has started, if it is not kept, the punishment would be swift, and severe. He reminded me of my cousin, who had passed away very suddenly of leukemia a few years back, right after he’d turn 16. Leukemia. He suffered every day until he died, according to my father. And the same would go for me. If I didn’t continue the Tradition.
The next morning, the family woke as usual and gathered downstairs. We exchanged presents, jokes, laughter. Everyone acted as if everything were normal. I put on a convincing show. I laughed back, opened my gifts, smiled for photos, I pulled it all off. Masterfully so I should say. They never knew what was boiling right under the surface. Not even when it came time for the sweetbreads. I choked back my tears and urge to vomit, though it was hard and I almost gave in. But I kept my smile wide and my eyes open.
After our plates were cleared my father stood up, and toasted to his family and our success, and hoped for many more generations to come, and for the day when his first daughter would join the rest of the family. My dad then looked at me, proudly, not a worry in his eyes. As far as he knew, I had been another successful convert.
I can say confidently, without any hint of exaggeration, that I dreaded each and every single one of the next 364 days. I finally started sleeping again after three, only for my sleep to be continually interrupted by the woman on the table, who would wake up suddenly and began screaming every time I cut into her neck. I would go days, one time even a week without sleep. I would lay awake in bed, pondering over how I was going to do it.
Could I do it?
Was there any way out?
There had to be a way out.
My father and mother told me in private, a few days after Christmas, that I could pick who I would use to carry on the Tradition. It could be anybody, even a complete stranger. All I had to do was give them a name, and they would take care of the rest. But they warned me, if I didn’t pick someone myself, they would do it for me. And they promised me, it would be someone I would miss dearly. My skin ran cold at the thought of someone, a friend, a teacher, some random stranger, tied up to that table, the knife in my hand, their internal organs on our dining room table.
I knew then there was no way out. I kept my facade up, pretending the long sleepless nights away as caffeine-fueled study sessions, and formulated my plan. I would have to pick someone who trusted me, someone I could get alone, someone who could disappear.
There was a friend, a dear friend. Once upon a time she had been a neighbor. But even after my family had moved, she remained my closest friend and one true confidant. She would trust me. She would do anything for me. I loved her. And now, she would disappear.
For me.
Christmas Eve
It finally came. Like any other important day that you wait for and dread. Then suddenly, one day, it’s tomorrow. My parents had kept their end of the bargain. They expressed no surprise, no remorse. They simply nodded their heads and told me it would be taken care of. The rest was up to me. That evening, as I was walking down the hall to join my family in the dining room, I passed my baby sister’s room. She had been only two months old last Christmas, far too young to partake in the family Tradition. But not anymore.
I pushed the thought from my head and continued on downstairs. The family was busy chatting around the table as I sat in my seat. Mother had prepared a lovely dinner of homemade mashed potatoes, turkey with gravy, roasted peanuts, and an orange crème cake, my absolute favorite. The sweetbreads wouldn’t be until tomorrow. Mother placed a fully loaded plate in front of me. On any other Christmas Eve, my mouth would already be filled with potatoes. This Christmas Eve, I was resisting a powerful urge to vomit all over the table.
But I kept my cool, as I had done the past 364 days. Only one more left.
I grabbed my fork as my father concluded his annual prayer of thanks and reluctantly began forcing food into my mouth. Just eating in front of them had become a chore, an act I was eager to finally drop. Everything tasted like paper, wet and moist without any real flavor. I must have lost 15 pounds since last Christmas, but nobody seemed to notice. They were already too far gone.
Once dinner was over, my brothers went to go play video games while my mother began clearing the table. Nobody said anything at first. Then I did.
“Is she ready?” I asked plainly. My parents both looked at me, slightly puzzled. Probably not what they were expecting. I then looked directly at my mother. She had stopped clearing the table and was now hovering behind my father. She caught my gaze and for a moment, almost looked scared. But then smirked.
“Yes, she is baby. And it serves her right for breaking my little boy’s heart. Don’t you worry about a thing sweetie, nobody will even know she’s gone. We’ll make sure of that,” she bragged, turning her attention back to the table. My father looked at me, still puzzled, not sure what to make of my newfound bravado. I hope it was working. He smirked, the same way my mother had, and I knew then that I had him hook line and sinker.
“Don’t be too tough on meat son. We like it nice and plump, remember?” my father spoke, sending waves of nausea down into my stomach. I held back thankfully and got up from the table.
“I won’t take too long. Santa’s coming early this year” I said, and left without saying a word. My father chuckled briefly, but I caught my mother’s shocked reflection in the glass doors on the way out. Too much perhaps. Not that it didn’t matter now.
The walk to the garage was probably the longest walk of my life. My entire life swirled around me, all array of emotions, everything that had led to this moment. The moment I would carry on the Gunnerson Holiday Tradition. I counted each step I took as I slowly made my way to the garage. The lights were off and there was no noise. She must be heavily sedated by now. The single side door was already open, and the familiar glow of candlelight cast long shadows all around me. I turned a set of lights on, unimpressed and annoyed with my parents’ theatrics at this point.
Then I saw the same white curtain as before, with the same set of knives on the same table. My heart skipped a beat. I needed to leave.
Abort the mission.
Find another way.
No.
There was no other way.
It was now or never.
I took one last breath and remembered what my father had told me. The pact our family had made, a deal forged in blood all those years ago.
Without hesitation, I walked towards the curtains and with one swift motion, drew them back. There she lay, fully clothed as I had requested. I would not allow this to be the first time I saw her naked. I wouldn’t allow it. Sure enough, though, a lone needle pierced her skin and ran up an identical IV pole, the bag looked to be practically empty. I looked at the clock on the wall. I had precious few minutes left.
I turned to the instruments of death next to me. The low light from the candles accented the chilly sting in the air. I picked up a knife randomly. I swung back around to take one last look at the girl. But then I froze. My gaze had met an opening pair of eyes. She was awake. She was struggling to regain consciousness, but she was definitely awake. As her eyes widened, they focused on me. She didn’t look scared, or confused. She just looked at me, face blank and mouth agape. The knife in my hand felt like solid gold. Everything had finally come together.
My turn.
For the first night in over a year, I slept like a stone. No nightly terrors, no ghostly visions of the woman on the table, no macabre family celebrations. Just a deep, soundless sleep. I was almost sad when I woke up. It felt so good. Hopefully the first of many nights to come. Today was a very special day. It was Christmas after all.
More importantly, the day of our blessed Family Tradition. The sweetbreads had been prepared by myself, as was Tradition, and I could smell them from even upstairs. Just moments later, father came in, wishing me a Merry Christmas and inviting me to join the family downstairs.
It was time.
I slipped on my housecoat, slippers, and walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, back arched and head held with a confidence I hadn’t known in some time. My mother, ever watchful hawk, took notice immediately.
“Well don’t you look as bright as the morning sunrise. Merry Christmas baby!” she nearly squealed as she put the finishing touches on her immaculate table. I smirked as I sat down next to my brothers, then I noticed my baby sister was missing.
“Where’s sissy?” I was a little concerned for her wellbeing at this point, knowing full well what this family was capable of.
“Oh, she’s got a fever right now. We’ll have to save her some for later” my mother responded.
Oh, how perfect.
I remained quiet as my mother finished the Sweetbreads and brought them over to the table. One by one, she placed a fine scoop on the small, delicate plates in front of each of us. The plates had been in the family for decades, and were used for only one purpose. After mother joined us at the table, my father rose. I don’t know why father insisted on making the same speech every single year. It was cringe so on many levels, even more so now than before. Though I held my tongue as he spoke.
“When I look at this table, I see the pillar of success. Our family, our blood, and our sacrifice, our Family Tradition, has kept our family strong and alive. And we continue that legacy, now and forever. And I am so proud to welcome my third son into the Tradition. Son, you have made me, our family, and our ancestors incredibly proud.”
His words made my stomach churn. My father sat back in his seat, and almost on instinct, the family joined hands, my mother and brother on either side of me. Closing our eyes, my parents lead us in a prayer.
“Lord, bless these sweetbreads as you have blessed our family. Rain riches, treasures, and power on us as you have done so for generations before. Ascend us, above all others, as we carry on this most sacred of tradition. Today, tomorrow, and forever”
My brothers, always too eager for their own good, dropped their hands first and immediately began eating. I watched as my parents smiled in admiration, then turned their attention to their own plates. My father was the first of them to take a bite. He smiled at first, but I watched as his expression changed quickly. He was puzzled. He stopped chewing for a moment before swallowing. He hesitated then took another bite. I looked at my mother, who had also started eating, but as she went in for a second bite, her nose wrinkled and she stopped. She began looking around her, now confused like my father.
“What’s the matter, father? Don’t they taste good?” I asked bluntly. My father looked at me, even more confused now.
“Of course. There’s just something, off” he said sheepishly, though I could hear fear growing inside him. I had felt that same fear for the past 365 days.
“Do you guys smell that?” my mother asked, worry now thick in her voice. I looked back at my brothers, who had already finished their entire plates, my eldest even licking his clean with his tongue. My other brother had noticed the exchange between our parents and I, and spoke up.
“Smell what? I don’t smell anything,”
“Yeah, I don’t smell anything either,” I said dishonestly. My father though had also denied smelling anything out of the ordinary. So, it was just my mother and I.
“How can you guys not smell that, it smells almost like something's burning. Or,” she trailed off.
“Or what mother? Perhaps something, bitter?” I said as I stared directly into her eyes. In that moment, I saw a flash of clarity across her face. Then I watched all the color completely drain away from every part of her body.
“What have you done?” my mother sputtered out.
“What the hell is going on?” my father screamed, but before anyone could answer, he was interrupted by an agonizing scream.
My eldest brother had been the first. He fell to the floor, howling like a wounded lion. I looked down to see his eyes turning blood red. His central nervous system was starting to shut down, and bloody vomit and saliva were now pouring out of his mouth. My other brother sat frozen, staring as our sibling died in front of us, mother screaming incoherently in the background. Father had stood up to get a better look but was knocked back into his chair almost immediately, bringing one of his hands to his head. I thought my father would be next. But only a second later, my other brother bent over in agony and began throwing up as well.
“What did you do to us?” my mother shrieked as her second child died violently in front of her, still too shocked to move from her seat. My father was fading fast. His face was covered in sweat, his gaze now locked into mine. I stared into his eyes, trying with all my might to bore the hatred and fear I had felt this entire year into his soul.
“You make me sick, every single one of you” I spat out, now free to finally unleash the wrath that had been building up for so long.
“Did you really think I was going to carry on this tradition? Do you know how sick to my stomach I’ve been every day this past year? Our family, our Tradition. It’s an abomination. And when I thought of spending every Christmas side by side with you, sealed in this deal for all eternity, I wanted to strap myself on that table,” It felt like pure bliss. The best part was that they would know, in their last moments, that it had been me that killed them.
“So, I made a deal of my own.”
They had made it too easy for me really. I already had almost everything I needed, thanks to mother. The only thing missing was a decoy. And being a Gunnerson meant I could get my hands practically anything in this town.
My father collapsed out of his chair and onto the floor. I could feel the convulsions through the table and floor as he breathed his last painful breaths. My mother was the last to succumb. She grasped her chest, heaving in pain. I could hear the blood clotting with each gasp of air she took. She got up to reach for me but fell onto the floor as I stood up and hovered beside her. Kneeling down, my face now inches from hers, I searched for any trace of the mother I used to know. But there was nothing. Because the mother I knew had been a lie. Everything had been a lie.
“Was it worth it mother?” I whispered to her. Tears filled her bloodshot eyes as she let out one final death rattle, and then all was silent. I paused, unsure of what to do next. I stood up straight to survey the carnage around me. Then I looked back at the table and saw my mother’s untouched glass of wine. Without hesitation, I grabbed it and held it up high.
“Toast to the Gunnerson Family Tradition,” I boasted, drinking the entire glass in a single gulp. Sitting the glass down, I spoke aloud.
“You can come in now.” my voice echoing off the vaulted ceilings. Seconds later, I caught movement to my right but didn’t take my gaze off the floor.
She had played her part perfectly. She didn’t believe me at first. Not even when I offered to pay her $10,000 dollars to play the victim. She thought it was a joke. I’m sure she got quite the scare though when my mother abducted her. But it would be worth it, I told her. That this small amount would be but a fraction of what she and I would have once the Tradition was over.
So, she agreed. And thankfully she had awoken last night when she did. She had proven to be invaluable.
“Whoa, that was fast,” she said in awe, studying the scene in front of her.
“Yeah well, we put enough in there to kill a whole football team” I retorted, still locked into a death stare with my mother. Her eyes were pointed upwards, an expression of horror and pain now permanently etched into her face.
“Is everything ready?” I questioned as I turned to face her for the first time.
“Yes. It’s all out in the garage,” she replied as she walked up to me. My hands ran across her face and then through her auburn hair.
“Go bring it in. We don’t have a lot of time, and there’s a lot to do,” I told her, leaning in for a kiss. Her mouth was wet and her lips were plump. Finally, it was beginning to feel like Christmas.
She left without another word, leaving me alone in the dining room once again. We would sanitize the kitchen then bury the bodies in the woods, in a six-foot grave alongside the cadaver I had procured from the university. It would take all night, but after it was done, they would never be found. The only business left would be my little sister.
I turned on my heel and began walking into the living room. As I started to go up the stairs to tend to my sister, something caught my attention. Something on our Christmas tree. My parents were never one to go overboard with Christmas decorations, seeing them as a waste of money and time. Our Christmas trees, therefore, had consisted of a golden garland and classic silver glass ball ornaments. Nothing more, nothing less.
Except now there was something else. Nestled almost perfectly within the tree was a dark red envelope. It had not been there last night, nor this morning. My curiosity piqued, I walked over and grabbed the card out of the tree. It wasn’t sealed, and when I opened it, an identically colored card slid out. I ran my fingers over the card and envelope, looking for an inscription, barcode, something to identify where the card came from.
Nothing
Cautiously, I opened the card. There was no signature, no seasonal greeting. Nothing but a single phrase.
“Sweets to the sweet”
Almost instantly, my back ran cold. I could feel the little hairs on my legs begin to stand up one by one. From some dark corner of the house, I could feel something stirring. Then, I felt it. Just a single, cold breath down my neck. I could feel my heart flutter. I counted to three in my head, then jerked my head around.
But there was nothing. In an instant, the house settled and everything was as it had been before. I looked back to the card, but it had vanished. I searched around me but could find no evidence that it had ever been there.
A cry from upstairs brought me back to reality. My baby sister. Mother had said she was running a fever. Fearing the worst, I darted up the stairs and down the hall to my sister's nursery. My mother fancied herself a designer and insisted on the gaudiest, Victorian-era nursery for my sister. My sister’s crib was adorned with sheets of silk and sheer fabric. I pulled them aside and looked down at my beautiful baby sister. I smiled at her and she seemed to smile back.
She would never know the horror of the Family Tradition. I would miss her dearly, but I knew she would be better off with another family, somewhere out of state, far away from our family’s legacy of death and decay.
Her rosy cheeks felt warm under my finger. As they moved across her face, a weird sensation came over me. It was something I had never felt around my sister before. I couldn’t quite figure it out at first. I looked at her, puzzled. Then my eyes ran over her throat. Soon my mouth began to water, pools of saliva now collecting inside. Then I knew.
I felt
Hungry.

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