LISTEN

Artist - Deante'Hitchcock
Album - Better&psig=AOvVaw0WyIf0sXDgKUzZZE_1e9HT&ust=1610156927364000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCIipqpKci-4CFQAAAAAdAAAAABAJ)
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BACKGROUND

Deante' Hitchcock is an Atlanta-based rapper that has been gradually gaining buzz since 2016. His first mixtape, Good, helped get his name out there, and to kick-start the trilogy of his career - Good, Better, Best. Good was the first mixtape, Better is his first album, and Best will be the name of his last. At this point in the background, I'm required to point out how most people have heard of Deante' - his car freestyle series. This has become somewhat of a point of contention for Deante', because while he appreciates what those freestyles did to build his buzz, it's frustrating for an artist to be known for one thing they did when they've got so much more to offer.
For many rap fans, the first time they heard Deante' was on the J Cole-driven Revenge of the Dreamers III. Deante' was one of the many talented people that were invited out to those sessions, and his connections with fellow Atlanta-based rappers JID, 6LACK, Young Nudy, and more likely helped with that. He only ended up appearing on the track "PTSD", but many un-initiated fans took note of how slick he sounded on the track. That may have been the last piece he needed to begin the process of putting out his debut commercial album, Better.
Better shows Deante' re-writing the script on what kind of rapper he is. He's done with people who recognize him going "oh, you the dude who freestyles in the car". That series did what it was meant to do, and got his name out there. People know he can rap now. But he's got so much more to offer, and his experience on tour with JID helped mold the direction he took with Better. While talking with JID, he decided to transition into a soulful direction. They had similar experiences when touring - they blew up as rappers, people showed up to see them rap their asses off. But he felt a disconnect from his audience, feeling more like a spectacle to watch than an experience to engage in. His new direction stemmed from that, with more "soulful" production and more "call-and-response"-type tracks. He wanted the audience to be a part of the experience, rather than onlookers.

TRACK-BY-TRACK REVIEW

I Remember

The opening track to Deante's debut commercial album finds him looking back at everything it took to get here. Going from starting out to putting out your first album is such a monumental effort for any artist, and every step along the way is a part of molding you into the artist you've become. For Deante', that meant a lot more than just struggling as a rapper. He's spent most of his adult life dead-broke, and those struggles are such a huge part of what fuel him. Everything it took for him to get here - and everyone who helped him along the way - is incredibly important to him, and it only makes sense that he spends the opening track to his first album reminiscing on those times.

If I said it, I done lived it
N*gga how could I forget it?
I remember everything.

In-house producer Brandon Phillips-Taylor brings a beat that's certainly interesting. At times it can border on being noisy, and that's a constant throughout this record. But even if the actual instrumentation can overwhelm at times, he has such a dope way of layering in background vocals that it usually makes up for it. They give some depth to the sound in certain points, and it makes things feel richer in certain points. Even with the instrumentals, he's never afraid to peel back and add in sounds and layers to give lines or hooks more power or clarity. The fact that he also produces the vast majority of this record gives it more continuity as well, and when he plays with the depth and layers of the record, it really shines.
As far as the actual content of the track, it brings new fans up to speed with who Deante' is and what's brought him to this point. It also serves to introduce them to Deante's style as a rapper, and the best way I've found to describe it is....casual. In the best possible way. I don't know if that makes any sense, so I'll try to explain. When Lupe Fiasco starts rapping, I feel like I have to focus on the bars like a final exam just to make sure I catch some of what he's saying. When Kendrick starts spitting, I've gotta sit up in bed, like just as a respect thing. And that's not to say that Deante' isn't a high caliber rapper, because he absolutely is. But he just makes the listener feel comfortable, like he's just some dude telling his story and trying to make it big doing this rap shit. I can't help but want to support someone who's so clearly a genuine dude making genuine music. This track, and the record as a whole, feel conversational, and within a few listens you start to feel like you know him. That's where his biggest strengths lie, because while he's really good at, you know, rapping.... so are a lot of other people who make way less interesting music. Deante feels like he's someone you've known your whole life, and the fact that he's got insane talent for rapping is just a bonus.

I Got Money Now (feat. JID)

Earlier, I mentioned how Deante' went on tour with JID on his Catch Me If You Can tour. That was actually my introduction to Deante' - I had no idea who this dude was, but he came out with this energy that was absolutely undeniable. The way he rocked the crowd, you would've thought it was his tour. And one thing that stood out was how much you could just feel him savoring the moment, looking from fan to fan and holding onto that eye contact just a little bit longer, getting a big smile when he saw someone really into it. I was up front, and apparently I looked impressed, because he pointed at me and gave me a little nod, like "This dude's with me" And he was right, I've been on the lookout ever since. So for me as a fan, having JID on the album only made sense, and brought things full circle in a way.
Okay, end anecdote, let's talk about the song. If "I Remember" is about looking back to the come-up and what it took to make it here, "I Got Money Now" is the triumphant follow-up - he's here. He went through hell and back to get a bag, but now he's gonna make sure you know he's got it. It's what he calls an "Affirmation" song - he made the song before he actually had money. It's a sort of music equivalent to speaking things into fruition. That's probably why it still feels relatively down to Earth, even though the hook has him shouting "Shut the fuck up, I got money now! (Bitch!)" It doesn't feel like an ordinary "rapper telling you how rich he is" song, because he doesn't sound like he's taking himself all that seriously. The way his personality shines through into his bars allow him to go from venting his frustration about not being able to help his mom with the bills straight into Jumanji references. His rapping feels hungry as fuck, and it helps that he's coming so hard while talking about just why he's so intent on making it - he's been broke, and he's not about to go back to that shit again.
The JID feature is honestly a tough one to pin down for me. It doesn't feel like it's on the same level of some of JID's other features, but he honestly brings a really nice verse to this one. He's got a bunch of really nice flows, some crazy internals, and he fits the vibe of the track perfectly. I honestly wouldn't change anything about it, he compliments Deante' so well. Yet, it felt to me, and to several other people I've talked to about it, like it just wasn't as good as his usual stuff, and I really think a lot of that comes down to Deante' stepping up and delivering such a good performance on the track. Most of the time, the JID feature steals the show, and when he doesn't, it's kind of like, "oh. alright." It showcases how talented Deante' really is, because not only is he one of very few to hold their own with JID during this run he's been on, but he arguably outshines him.

Attitude (feat. Young Nudy)

While the first two tracks were as good of introductions to Deante's music as you could expect, they did have a pretty similar tonality. So naturally, you follow it up with the Young Nudy-assisted "Attitude", which Deante' described as being "like a Bee smoking a Black and Mild with some Air Forces" in an interview with RESPECT. Whatever comfort zone you found yourself in after the first two tracks is gone in an instant. The beat builds into this sort of moshing chant, with layers of background vocals escalating into "Can't be scared, hoe; Can't be scared, lil n*gga". The energy is totally different, but Deante's humor and personality don't feel out of place at all. Again, his personality is just so big you can't help but feel like you know him. So even when a brawl is about to break out, there's no surprised when he's dropping one-liners about wa'alaykumu s-salam, Rubik's Cubes, or Optimus Prime.
The Young Nudy feature effectively works opposite of Deante's verse - he's not gonna try to impress you with clever bars, because he wants to make sure you know he means the shit he's saying. It's a really interesting dynamic, because Deante's humor makes Nudy's verse feel more serious, and Nudy's aggression makes Deante' seem more lighthearted than he otherwise would feel on the song. All in all, they play off of each other really well and the song serves as a great juxtaposition from the first two tracks. It gives a little more insight into who Deante' is as well - just because he's not constantly taking himself too seriously doesn't mean you should try him.

How TF (feat. 6LACK)

How Deante' managed to transition from "Attitude" straight into "How TF" without it sounding insanely out of place, I have no idea. But it works, and this song is an even bigger departure from "Attitude" than the first two songs were. First of all, the instrumental on this thing is just so damn good. It's a nice little ear-worm in its own right, but it's not overbearing to the point of being the main focus of the track. It's still a little spacey, and that lets Deante' shine through with plenty of different flows in an otherwise short verse.
The topic at hand is so fucking important. Deante' has a way of saying what so many guys are going through in ways that they don't know how to say. He makes himself feel so relatable, and you can't help but attach yourself to what he's saying. "How the fuck am I supposed to tell you that I love you and know I really fuckin mean what I said?". When you first find yourself falling in love, there's a weird thing that can happen where you almost doubt your own feelings, not even believing that you're actually feeling what you're feeling. You don't know if you're actually falling in love or if you're just lusting over some girl and are too naïve to realize it. That fear is so overwhelming that you end up just pushing away from it - "Runnin away again".
Deante' gives such an honest insight into his own life here. He doesn't really know how to describe his own feelings, but he's trying his best. He doesn't want to say anything he doesn't mean and find himself regretting it later on, but he knows his indecisiveness is pushing her away. He just can't bring himself to risk saying he loves her when he isn't sure - "I don't know...that love shit weird".
6LACK brings another great verse, but from an older point of view. He's struggling with similar themes, but for different reasons. Deante' is worried about saying something he doesn't mean, but 6LACK is worried about moving too quickly without taking some time to work on himself. If he doesn't take that time now, he's only going to hurt her. I think both of these verses showcase some of the struggles of being a young man trying to maneuver through love. For a lot of people, they didn't exactly have the best examples of love in their homes. Without having a good example, it can be hard to really figure out how to say what they want to say. Personally, this is the track I come back to the most, and it hasn't left my rotation since I heard it as a single. The beat captures you, and Deante' absolutely steals the show.

Flashbacks (feat. Miguel and St. Beauty)

While religion has always played a part in Deante's music, and had been mentioned a few times already in the project, "Flashbacks" is far and away the most direct example on Better thus far. Deante's first verse is a long-form, almost rambling reflection on his upbringing, touching on hitting new lows, his mother's faith, and the death of a friend. This is a different Deante' than we've seen up to this point on the project, because while he certainly talks about real topics and does so earnestly, this track feels a little less calculated. On "How TF" or "I Remember", it feels like he's thought about everything he's saying plenty of times before, and he's prepared to talk about it at length. But on "Flashbacks", it really does feel like he's talking his way through flashbacks in his mind, just sharing whatever happens upon his mind.
I just want to really highlight the section where Deante' talks about the church, and his thoughts on it growing up (and now?). The casual way Deante' raps, combined with the nature of the topic and the way he addresses it, make for a track that feels so incredibly vulnerable. He doesn't have the answers and it's killing him. The other sections of the verse are great too, but this part is just fantastic and I wanted to give it some shine.

I need some straightforward answers, cause I been livin backwards
Can't feel the pastor when he talkin bout upcoming rapture
Preachin' money's the root of all evil, but askin for money after
So comin up we ain't have it to give but we still gave it
The church was makin a killin off of our little savings
But you can't put a price on faith, thats how my momma phrased it
But momma if this the house of the Lord, how could we not appraise it?
I was young and confused with nothin' to lose
Better to be human than God, word to Langston Hughes

Miguel and duo St. Beauty feature on this track, and there's a part where they all harmonize and play off of each other that's just gorgeous. They nail the aesthetic of the Phillips-Taylor production. Miguel offers a bridge to the outro as well, and, well, it's Miguel. His voice is incredible and if you don't know St. Beauty, just know that Miguel doesn't outshine them for a second on this track. The aforementioned outro brings Deante' back, and it serves to bridge Deante's childhood thoughts from his earlier verse to the present. He's "Still talkin' to God", and he acknowledges that while he isn't what he was expected to be, he's still leaning on his faith and knows that it will pull through for him in the end. Maybe it already has.

Gimme Yo Money

So, I'll be upfront about this one. I don't like this song. I appreciate what it's meant to do. The last two songs were serious and, spoilers, so is most of the rest of this project. I'm sure if I was at his show in Atlanta and this song came on I'd have a fucking great time with it. I just don't like it on the album, and to me it's the only miss on the project.
Yung Baby Tate is all over this song, and it feels like it's more of her song than Deante's. It's a fun track, and it made me more interested in checking out her individual work because if I was in the mood for that style of music, I'd be all over this track and I think she's dope. It just doesn't work with the rest of the project. The beat is actually really cool again, and Deante's rapping is on point once again. Unfortunately it just doesn't really work like it could have, or like he probably envisioned it.

Circles

This is the track that's grown on me the most, and I think it might be favorite on the project. But my favorite track changes a lot, and that's a testament to the quality of work. But anyways. At first, the looping vocal that comes in at the beginning and for the hook, the chanting "Round and Round we go" that's way pitched up - I hated it. It's grating, and I felt like the song deserved a better hook than this. I'm still not the biggest fan of it, but I think it adds to the concept of the topic. We'll come back to that.
This song is another relationship one, and while it's another impressively honest insight into Deante's personal life, his pen is what shines. This track has so many flows packed into two verses, and they're all just so goddamn good. Especially on the bridge before the second chorus, it's such a quick section but it'll play on loop in my head. I'm stuck on this part trying to figure out how to describe how much I love this flow in particular. The beat strips back for this section too, and he parallels how he feels with what she's going through. And it's just really good, I'm sorry that I'm not good enough at writing to really word it better than that.
The theme of the song is how their relationship keeps going in "Circles", where a little fight turns into a big one. Eventually they always make up, but they both know it's only a matter of time until they end up right back where they were, fighting over the same old shit. It circles back to "How TF" as well, because she just doesn't feel loved like she needs to. That feeds into her not trusting him, and that's what Deante' feels like he needs out of the relationship to love her like she wants. It's a circle. The abrasive, pitched-up vocal loop sounds like them fighting, and if you listen closely, it can be heard in the background of the bridge and other sections, albeit much quieter. Those problems are there in the background even when things are good. So even when Deante' is flowing effortlessly over this smooth-ass beat, and it sounds so good, that vocal loop is looming. That's the contrast in the relationship, even when things are going great and it seems perfect, those impending fights still loom, and they both know those problems are still there.

Shadowman's Interlude

This interlude is broken up into two parts, the first being a short, reflective verse from Deante' that toes the line being purposeful and aimless. He's offering you an insight into his brain and everything he's been going through in the process leading up to releasing this album. He's cutting off friends, turning away hoes, battling the bottle and dealing with social injustice. There's so much going on that's bigger than he is, and as an artist it's easy to feel like you have to talk about those things. But he has too much of his own shit to deal with to not give his own life and problems his full attention. But throughout, he's still being funny and dropping references that seem like they're trying to lighten the tone. It's such an interesting juxtaposition, because he wouldn't be talking about these things if they weren't important to him - but that doesn't mean it has to be 100% serious, 100% of the time. So in the same verse, he can say "Bad bitch gon' let me hit, no Ken Griffey" and "ironic when the bottle's empty is when I pour out my pain".
The second half is a story told by one of Deante's friends. It's a short story about him and his friends seeing a truck on the side of the road. There's a box on the end, and it falls off and then mysteriously slides under the car. They pull over and break it open, and find human toes inside. As the story comes to a climax, you can hear Deante' and his friends react to the story in the background -

"Like walking toes? What the fuck?"
"My Aunt Dukes is like, 'let's call the police'
I was like, 'Fuck that shit, let's call a toe truck"

Of course it was just a set-up for a punchline. It's a Deante' track.

Growing Up/Mother God

This track is basically a song and a half, because "Growing Up" is a completely developed track, with two verses, a hook, and an outro. You can probably guess what "Growing Up" is supposed to be about. The first verse is a little more broad, reflecting more on what it's like to grow up as a young black kid in America, and what it's like to see everything going on in the news everyday. He transitions into a more personal verse afterwards, and it becomes less about growing up in society and more about growing up as a person. He goes on a personal, but somewhat odd tangent about having a direct conversation with God. Ultimately, it's him re-affirming what he already knows - be yourself unapologetically, because you can't be anything else.
Brandon Phillips-Taylor is behind the boards on this one as well (shocking, I know), and it's just another really cool beat that continues to play into his strengths as a producer. He layers in additional vocals for the hook and he peels away parts of the beat within the first two verses. The fact that he's been doing that for so much of the record makes it where you don't even notice that stuff as much anymore, so you don't realize that the second half of the song has already started. Any other record, it would be way more drastic for the beat to cut away in the middle of the third run of the hook only to be replaced with a piano and Alexe Belle (half of St. Beauty) singing added layers onto the hook. But you almost don't comprehend it's not just him toying with the beat only to bring it back like he does elsewhere, and it's a beautiful transition. There's some spoken-word from Deante's girlfriend, and it takes us right into "Mother God".

Somebody ask me why I think God is a woman
And I said, "Your momma cookin must not be as good as mine
Your lil sister must not warm you spirit when you see her crack a smile

Deante' offers up an ode to all the women in his life, namely his mother, sister, and girlfriend (although he name drops a ton of other people that had an impact on him). It's a really sweet, heartfelt verse, and it's one of my favorites on the whole record. I could never summarize this verse down in my own words, because it's so personal to him and every line is so important to him, and to somebody in his life. It feels like it would be disrespectful to be like, "Yeah, this one that he said is more important than the others". But anyways, 10/10 verse.

Angels

Deante' likes splitting his songs into two parts. Why would he stop now. The first half of the track feels like what you might expect for an outro to a rap album. He's confident, he's rapping his ass off, he's unapologetic as fuck. Naturally, he's sprinkling in real lines and wisdom throughout, almost as if he can't help himself. Once again, Phillips-Taylor really shines. He builds the beat up along with Deante's verse, and the background "ayy-ayy-ayy, ayy-ayy-ayy, ayy-ayy-ayy!" of the hook bring things to a climax as well. While obviously not the same style of song AT ALL, the way the beat builds throughout the first verse while Deante's rapping gets faster and more erratic is reminiscent of Saba's brilliant "PROM/KING". That's been one of my biggest takeaways from sitting down to write this; Brandon Phillips-Taylor does a really great job throughout this album and is an unsung hero among fans of the album, because I don't see him get nearly enough praise when this project is discussed.
On the deluxe tracklist, the album actually ends after the main part of Angels, but on the original version, "My Bitch" is added onto the end of Angels as a part of the same song. Deante' comes in acting like he's gonna be on some weird-flex bragging shit to end his debut album, before turning it on its head.

My bitch!
Head so good, gotta wipe my ass when she finished
My wrist!
So bright light, probably make a n*gga mad when they hit it
I was just cappin, now that I got your attention, listen

He instead chooses to just fucking spit, and it serves as his "I'm coming for the throne" moment. I can rap with anybody, and as a matter of fact, I'll outrap anybody. While the "Angels" part of the track might feel like more of a traditional album closer, ending it with "My Bitch" shows that Deante' isn't going to settle for doing what everybody traditionally does. It's a statement of intent, and it's an exclamation mark on one of the most impressive debut albums I've heard in a very long time.

FAVORITE LYRICS

I Remember

• "I remember ridin dirty when my motherfuckin gas gauge was broke, ain't even know that bitch was ridin' on E"
• "I remember shows in Texas, back when the venue name was long as my setlist; Shit was killin me, I just couldn't express it; Grateful for what they gave me, but in my heart of hearts just couldn't accept it"
• "Remember back when my bank account was so empty, I was too scared to check it;Now I'm checkin every check on my checklist"
• "Walter Payton, Barry Sands, how I ran through my advance"
• "A message to those who these songs end up reachin; The second you find out your worth, it increases"

I Got Money Now

• "I was havin withdrawals, now I'm at the bank, makin deposits; Shout out to 50, boy, Get Rich or Die Tryin, ain't no other option" - Deante'
• "I've been fuckin' the shit out my bucket list; Drop my nuts on the lips of a lusty bitch" - JID

Attitude

• "Okay, you bein out doing you, I been outdoin you"
• "12 got the call, they pullin' up, what?; Who? When? Where? Better duck-duck; They askin questions, they just *pop* *pop*; Don't fuck with pigs like wa'alaykumu s-salam"

How TF

• "How the fuck am I supposed to tell you that I love you and know I really fuckin mean when I say it? ; You know I'm dealin] with a million fuckin things in my head"
• "Look, I understan- wait no fuck this shit, no I don't; Wait forever while you get you together? No I won't."
• "She wanna ask me, she was like, 'what are we?'; I had to look at her and be like, I was like; 'We are homo sapiens, we human beings, we you and I; Deadass, that's it, that's we; I mean I fuck with shawty but it's like, I don't know, that love shit weird"

Flashbacks

• "I was young and wide-eyed, unaware of incoming karma; They say the first child should pay for the sins of the father; So I bought em' out tomorrow, like fuck it"
• "I seen a rose grow from out of that concrete, yeah right there up my block; Right on the corner where DeVonte got shot"

Gimme Yo Money

• "Her pussy bomb, they won't even let her through TSA"
• "Real saditty, pretty wih the paw print tats on her titty; Trickin n*ggas out they dough, if you got it she finna get it"

Circles

• "Then she bring up my old chick; My old ways, my old grips; My old hoes, my old bitch; Like damn, why you always stressin old shit?"
• "So we fight, we fuss; We fuck, we stuck; She need love, I want trust; But pretty soon we'll be back on the same ol shit"

Shadowman's Interlude

• "I ain't have to have no Fairy God parents to get rid of them Vicky's, Poof"
• "I'm Martin Luther King and Trayvon; Needed a third life, I live twice like James Bond; Just in case I get Marshawn Lynch'd 'cause I ain't forget where I came from"
• "Spent my past life becoming one with the Henny, liquor, all of my things; It help me take the mask off, when I'm sober I'm Bane; Ironic when the bottle empty is when I pour out my pain"

Growing Up/ Mother God

• "Tired of makin the same New Years Resolutions on the fuckin yearly"
• "But even in the Belly of the Beast, was still God's Son, I mean that Sincerely; Hope I never let Nas down, but Nas ain't the n*gga that'll need to hear me; Why? He already got a million, but my n*ggas still stuck at the bottom; Feelin like there ain't noone who really got 'em"
• "We don't judge a fish on if it fly or not and tell birds to swim; Be what you is, even when it hurt you"
• "Couldn't cut her loose if I had scissors, that's Love Galore"
• Again, the whole last verse is incredible

Angels

• "Know I ain't perfect, but my little sister think I'm the shit"
• "Don't let no hard time ever make you softspoken"
• "Ay, I got "Me Versus Me" tatted as a reminder that this life ain't forever; So everyday I'm breathin, I'm gon be better"
• "My life do a 360 five times on the fuckin' yearly"
• "Been a prisoner in my mind, in a cell of my own creation; I wanna escape it, but then again I don't because this; Made me everything I am, just pray I never forget"
• "Man, I'm from Atlanta hoe; Hot Lemon Pepper my ten-piece and Pink Lemonade with the Simply"
• "Prayin for me to fall off, you gon always be down on your knees, hoe; My shit been groovy since I was in Juvy, 400 Degreez, hoe"

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

• Were you familiar with Deante' before this project? Where did you discover him, whether it be from ROTD3, his solo work, his freestyles, etc?
• What were your favorite songs? Did you prefer the more serious songs, or the more light-hearted ones?
• How important is the in-person experience at a concert to your enjoyment to somebody's music? Is it important enough to be worth it for someone like Deante' to change their style just to suit that better?
• Do you think Deante' is someone who could realistically "blow up" and actually be a big name, or is he more likely to end up with a passionate fanbase that gives him a careeaudience without gaudy numbers (a la Denzel Curry, Vince Staples, Isaiah Rashad)?
• Where would you like to see Deante' go next with his music? Who would you like to see him work with?

• Current cards: (list cards, limits, opening date)
  • BoFA Cash Rewards - Limit: $1700; Opened: Mar 2019
  • Discover Student CashBack - Limit:$1750; Opened: Aug 2019
  • Chase Freedom Unlimited (PC to CFF in Sept 2020) - Limit:$500; Opened: Oct 2019
  • Amex Cash Magnet - Limit:$2000; Opened: Feb 2020
  • Amex Blue Cash Preferred - Limit:$5000; Opened: Nov 2020
  • Chase Sapphire Preferred - Limit:$5000; Opened: Dec 2020
• FICO Score: Transunion/Equifax: 752; Experian: 732
• Oldest account age: 1yr, 9 mos
• Chase 5/24 status: 6/24
• Income: ~$75k p.a (Internship)

First Reddit post! So Grad student here, thin credit file. My chase story goes like this: Opened the freedom Unl card (Bonus $200 on $500 spend) in Oct 2019 after opening a Total checking account (Bonus $300 for direct deposit). Exceptional payment history and no balance carry over.
Opened the Chase savings account for $200 bonus on $15k deposit for 3 months - opened Jan 2020. Applied for CSP in Aug 2020 rejected. Called recon no resolution whatsoever. Applied again in Nov 2020 for CSP (at the time 80k bonus) rejected for thin file and low credit line. Tried recon, no help. Said fuck it to Chase and started churning Capital one 360 checking $400 bonus, Citizens $600 (Checking and Savings bonus). Opened Amex blue cash Preferred $300 bonus on $3000 spend and first year waived off. At this point I was at 6/24
On Dec 2nd got a letter from Chase saying they wanted more documents to review the CSP application. Got it reviewed and just got CSP approved for $5k and 80k bonus. I can easily hit the min. spend as my university accepts CC without any extra fee (lucky lol)
Thought this would be an interesting dp to share.
Thanks for reading :)

Hey PF! I have been researching bank stuff since I hopped off my parent's BofA account. Online banking and these FinTech companies have been so interesting and seeing all of these are so cool and overwhelming at the same time.
I was wondering if anyone has found a bank that can allow a joint checkings and savings as we want to simplify the merging. Admittingly I have 5 credit cards, a Charles Schwab Checking and Roth IRA, and Marcus Savings.
What attracted me to Schwab was the unlimited ATM reimbursements and no foreign transaction fees. I am debating on keeping this as a "travel debit card" for us (we'll discuss of course).
Since Schwab only gave me 0.03% (which is 3 times what I got at BofA I think), I wanted more and since creating a HYS I have been to Synchrony, Betterment, and now Marcus. I was wanting to find a bank that could allow both the checkings and savings, but of course both be great in their own regard.
The other thing is, she'd prefer to have a brick and mortar place where we can speak with someone if needed and deposit cash. I was thinking maybe something like the big banks and then just 0 budget it to transfer money out to our Savings, but the big banks don't have good rates. (However, Capital One 360 is an exception and a good candidate)
Some banks that caught my eye from my research were:

• Discover Bank (Checkings & Savings, no fees, good ATMs, high APY)
  
• Ally Bank (Checkings & Savings, no fees (1% Foreign fee tho, good ATMs, high APY)
  
• Capital One 360 (Checkings & Savings, no fees, decent APY, physical locations)
  
• A credit union possibly?
  
• Varo/Simple/Chime
  

I was wondering if anyone had joint account experience with any of these! I am tempted in trying one now before we get married and then adding her later (if that is possible, unless I gotta close and re-open).
tl;dr Looking to open a joint account for my SO and I, here are some of the factors we value

• Physical locations if possible, were here in North Texas.
• One stop Checkings & Savings
• Great Mobile App (We are both Android, we saw Ally, Discover, Capital One, Chime, and Varo all have good ratings there (But Varo can't do joint)
• As little fees as possible and above average APY on Savings
• No Foreign Transaction Fees (At least on the ATM if not on the card)
• Solid ATM Network & Out of Network reimbursement if possible)
• Bill Pay
• BONUS perks: Some sort of bucket/pocket/envelope system for the savings. Free Checks. Being able to log into Mint by Intuit, as I like keeping track of my expenses.

I signed up for a Capital One 360 checking account for the $400 bonus promo they are running. Set up an allotment in Mypay but for some reason it didn't fully process and the allotment never made it into the 360 account. Now I need to make an additional Direct Deposit to hit the promo terms (2 direct deposits in 60 days) but the second allotment wouldn't post until after my 60 day mark.
TLDR: Does anyone know if Capital One counts an account transfer from NFCU as a direct deposit? I checked the DoC article but there's no DPs for NFCU. If not, does anyone have any ideas on how I could fit in another direct deposit before 15Jan?

I’ve had a gambling problem for over 10years. I won’t go into details as it’s something most of you have probably experienced already. I’ve quit here and there. Or taken breaks but it always comes back. Few months ago was my all time low. I kept digging myself deeper and deeper. So I finally committed to quit. I hadn’t touched an online casino since early July. Our actually casinos are all still closed due to covid. So I had been playing online for months and lying to my girl and family about it. Making excuses as to why I was so broke. I was doing so good. It even got to the point where I wasn’t thinking about it much. Here and there but I kept telling myself no. I was so proud! Until last night. I had this urge I just couldn’t shake. I even asked my girlfriend if she’d sign into her play now account and let me just spend $50.(I banned myself from mine) she of course said no. Because she knows me too well. Well I have an account with a UK online captain cooks casino. And I thought fuck I’ll go have a shower and just check the site, see the promos. Sure even there is a 100% match promo and a bonus $25 promo just for depositing. So I decided to just put in $50 like I wanted to. I lost that almost immediately. Then I thought just $50 more and I’ll stop. Well that $50 took me to $360 back down to $200 then up to $800. I was so excited. And I could really use the cash. So I cashed out thinking I’m up $700 and life’s good. I thought to myself I’ll go tell my gf she’ll be a little annoyed I played but happy it’s a positive result and I’ll wait my 2 days and get my money. Well instead I sneak fully kept playing the winnings. She went upstairs to put our son to bed and I continued with nothing, absolutely nothing but loss. Once the $800 was gone I should of stopped and just been upset at my stupidity. Nope! I deposit $50 more, straight loss. I end up stuck on this app like crack for the next couple hrs. Most I hit was $100 which I would just piss away chasing more. Long story short I lost $950 of my own money and $800 winnings with a total loss of $1750. I was up all night tossing n turning with guilt and shame. Fuck gambling really is the devil. I don’t know how this will ever leave my life for good. I finally was catching up on bills, made a tiny dent in my credit cards, which is gone now. I’m apprenticing plumbing and I’m really trying to change my life for my family. I’ve been working my ass off 6 days a week. Was doing 10hr days the last two months. And i got nothing to show for it. $200 left in the bank and 11 days until payday. Fml. One thing that helped me a lot with stopping for the few months I did was reading all your stories. So hopefully my stupid one will inspire you to stop.

My husband and I are going to open a joint checking account into which both our salaries will be deposited, and from which all of our bills will be paid. I'm looking for the best option. I just have the Wells Fargo checking account I opened when I was 16. Looking into it, it seems Capitol One 360 has no monthly fees, no minimum opening balance, and pays an APR of .10%, which seems pretty good to me. My husband however likes Chase, which will pay a $200 bonus for opening a new account. He claimed he was able to get a $300 bonus at the time he opened his account, but the current promotion listed is $200. But Chase has no APR and does have a monthly fee of $12. However, that can be waived with a minimum $1500 balance, which I'm not too worried about maintaining. My real question would be if a $200 (or $300 if there is some promotional offer out there I'm not aware of) bonus would be worth trading in for a 0.10% APR. I'm also considering Consumers Credit Union since it has some pretty high APR options with certain monthly activity. Does anyone have any thoughts or any recommendations for other checking accounts? Any banks I should absolutely avoid? Thank you all.

Hi! First of all if you find this story too long or too boring, you can skip until the end for some possible way you might help our country in these trying times
Second, sorry sa papalit palit ko from English and Tagalog, this is just what I’m comfortable with kahit minsan wrong grammar din naman. Base sa title naisip niyo na siguro na story time to, and it is, pero let me just say kung bakit ko to ishare. Ever since nag start ako magwork hindi ako ganun kaopen sa financials ko, hindi naman ako madamot I just want to keep it private for the sake na di masabihan na mayabang, or mahirap, depende kung sino kausap ko. So ang solution lang na nakita ko is dito sa reddit, where I can keep it anonymous.
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ANYWAY. Hi. I’m a 22 years old CPA currently living in Marikina and working in Makati, and I want to tell you the story on how I made my first 100k in the hopes that I can inspire my fellow young people to start their own financial journey.
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It was November 2018, START OF MY CORPORATE LIFE
I finished college back in May, studied for the board exam and luckily passed in October. Straight after passing the board, I applied to be an auditor for a firm in Makati. I started in November. My salary at that time was 19k, at first I was ecstatic because before this I was used to a 1k per week allowance + money I make on the side sa mga raket na naiisip ko nung college, so 19k a month was HUGE for me. Pero unfortunately, nahulog ako sa patibong ng lifestyle inflation (the more you make, the more you spend), I started eating out with my friends more, I started buying more shit, I started traveling. So for the next few months yung 19k a month na sweldo ko napupunta sa transpo, food, family, and leisure. TOO MUCH LEISURE. To the point na every end ng cut off siomai with rice nalang kinakain ko sa labas ng office namin, zero balance talaga si atm natin. Ang source lang ng ipon ko at that time ay yung Coop ng company na sinalihan ko, every cutoff auto debitna yun ng 800 pesos, so 1,600 a month, pero bulag ako sa ipon na to since di ko din naman siya pwede withdrawihin pa and wala akong balak sana until magresign ako, it would be a pleasant surprise once I resign in a few years.
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It was June 2019, MY FIRST INVESTING MISTAKE
Everything changed nung June 2019, it was our first salary increase from 19 to 21k and we received our first ever bonus (nakareceive ako ng 13th month noon pero prorated to only 2 months since November ako nagstart and ginastos ko yon para sa Christmas celebration naming family). Yung nareceive kong bonus nung June is 13k. So syempre nung umpisa excited ako, 13k ganun ganun lang, di ko naman sweldo yon so parang libreng pera siya sa isip ko. PERO I was saved by my coworker, na nagsuggest na gusto niya magbukas ng COL Financial account gamit yung bonus na yon. At that time I was already thinking about starting with my investments, I’ve been interested in doing it for years nung college pa simula nung napagaralan namin yung Law of Compounding Interest.
​
A short interlude: Law of Compounding Interest is a mathematical concept. Wala kang kailangan bantayan dito kasi it works on its own. Basically it means the earlier you start, the more you earn in the future. May complicated formula to pero here’s a simple concept para madaling intindihin. Lets say right now, at 20 years old, nag pasok ka ng ONE (1) PESO EVERY MONTH sa isang investment na kumikita ng 7% ANNUALLY, after 30 years at 50 years old ka na, yung 360 pesos investment na yon magiging P1,177.06 na. PERO kung naghintay ka ng 5 years at nag start ka ng 25 years old, by 50 years old yung 360 mo magiging P788.47 lang. TIME VALUE OF MONEY guys, the earlier you start, the more you earn. Ofcourse itong analogy na to is very gross simplification ng concept talaga, this is just to give you an idea of what the law of compounding interest can do.
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BACK TO THE STORY JUNE 2019 PA DIN.
Lunch break that same day nagprint kami gamit company printer ng COL forms (wag niyo sasabihin sa boss ko), and nagmartsa kami papuntang Makati office nila na walking distance lang sa work ko. And that was the start of my financial journey, dahil lang sa isang usapang tropa sa office. Pero this also led to my first financial mistake. Imagine niyo ko, since I was a child favorite ko Jollibee, paglabas ko ng bahay namin may Jollibee, pag dating ko sa office bago pumasok ng building may Jollibee, maglakad ka lang ng onti sigurado may makikita ka ulit na Jollibee. So san ko pinasok yung pera ko? SA JOLLIBEE. FUCK. I just thought na since it’s a well known company and its one of the premium stocks, it’s a good place to start my investment. WRONG. Nagpasok ako ng 10k sa investment na yon, the rest is mutual fund. And in a week I already lost 1k. So bilang nooby investor, nag pull out ako. Natakot ako eh. That was my first mistake, investing without research. Pero dahil sa experience na yon, it started my 1 month long, grad school thesis level, research on the know-hows of the stock market and other investments in general.
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It was August 2019, RULES ARE SET
After a month I received another bonus, this time it was health and another mid year bonus (thank you Lord), ang total na nareceive ko that time is almost 20k, pero at that time din madaming gastos kasi pinapagawa yung bahay namin, so I chose to help them with that bonus hanggang sa ang natira nalang sakin ay 4k. After a month of research, I learned about the stock market, I had a basic idea about technical analysis, fundamental analysis, I learned more about mutual funds and other investment options like MP2, VUL, REITs (welcome to the Philippines), and other investment opportunities. Again, basic stuff lang on some, a bit more stuff on others, pero the point is I’m more confident with my investments and continuous pa din ang learnings, but the most important thing I learned is EMERGENCY FUND. I always knew I needed to save first before investing, siguro nadala lang ako ng excitement kaya napainvest agad ako when the opportunity arose. In hindsight, thankful ako sa failed investment ko with JFC kasi kung di nangyari yon I wouldn’t have the motivation to learn more about these things.
So the rules were set, yung around 12k na natitira ko sa COL account, di ko na winithdraw, in fact pinasok ko siya lahat sa bond fund muna, which is a safer investment. The idea was that I’ll keep it in a safe investment hanggang mabuild ko yung emergency fund ko before going for the riskier options. I know taboo to sa ibang tao kasi dapat EF muna bago invest, but you’ll just have to forgive me on this one. Aside from the 4k from my bonus, I also set as a rule na magtatabi ako ng 5k every month, no excuses, minimum 5k. I started making a budget, I downloaded an app called “Money Lover”, dun naset ko yung budget plans ko and recurring transactions to remind me kung ano mga dapat itabi ko every month. So every month the formula is (SALARY – 5K MANDATORY – RECURRING TRANSACTIONS (FAMILY, FOOD, TRANSPO, NETFLIX SPOTIFY) = WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT MONEY), and it worked. It was not easy but it worked. Dahil sa app na yon and from my own initiative to discipline myself, nakapagtabi ako ng 5k a month and even more. Discipline is key nga talaga.
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It was October 2019, MY FIRST EVER LOAN
At this point on track pa din ako sa budget ko. For a rundown of my current “assets”, meron akong 12k sa COL na di naman masyadong tumataas, bond fund lang siya afterall, and 19k in cash on hand and in bank (5k a month + 4k bonus). Pero surprise surprise motherfucker, magsstart na yung busy season. For y’all non-accounting people, starting around September to November, audit starts for most companies para sa BIR and SEC deadlines around April/May ng next year. During these days extended na yung work hours naming mga auditor, puyatan na minsan alas sais na ng umaga ako makakauwi and I have to be at work at 9am, so san yung tulog ko dun kung bbyahe pa ko pa Marikina. So I decided na magdodorm na ko and found a few workmates to join me, pero kailangan naming magdown ng 9k isa isa for advances and deposit. That problem is nagcommit na ko na hinding hindi magagalaw yung EF ko kahit ano mangyari, and since kilala ko yung sarili ko, alam kong if I break that rule once, I’ll break it more times after, kaya pinigilan ko yung sarili ko. I considered borrowing sa parents ko, or sa mga kaibigan ko, pero I ended up choosing to borrow from the company coop na sinalihan ko. May special loan sila noon dahil malapit na yung Christmas, Chrismas Loan yung tawag, obviously. Essentially, they charge 5% interest with 6 months to pay and to make the loan worth my while, I chose to borrow more than I needed. I ended up borrowing 36k just so I have more money na hindi restricted na restricted like my EF. I know I had to pay interest pero it was worth it kasi naging magmadali yung budget ko after non since aside from EF, I barely had extra money before. And ta-da, just like that I paid 9k to the landlord and put the rest of the money in a “semi-restricted” fund na reserved for emergency pa din, but not as emergency ng EF ko. The plan is to use it for Christma, so I did pero di ko inubos. After December passed and may natira pa, ang plan nalang ay pangrefill ko siya ng onti sa mababawas sa sweldo ko every cutoff hanggang binabayaran yung loan.
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It was end of February 2020, A GLOBAL THREAT
Ever since DecembeJanuary ata naririnig ko na yung balita about the virus and how it seemingly started in China. During those times I didn’t think anything of it hanggang sa nabalitaan ko na yung first case sa Pinas. In anticipation sa pwedeng mangyari dahil during February dumadami na yung cases sa ibang bansa, I decided to pull out my investments. If there is anything I will need extra funds for, it would be for a global threat such as a pandemic. So pinull out ko siya all of my 12k-ish na tumaas sana pero due to the virus medyo bumaba din yung bond funds, so I didn’t really earn much.
A fast rundown ng financials ko at this time,
Assets
EF - 39,000 (5k x 7mos plus 4k bonus)
From COL – 12,000
Liabilities
Outstanding Loan – (12,000)
Net Asset = 39,000
Seems good naman diba?
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It was March 12, LOCKDOWN
I still remember how I was sitting in the office, there was a call for social distancing but we had to do a firm wide meeting so we did it via group call. Everyone in the office was in a meeting but we’re all just staring at our laptops listening to our bosses about their plans for the upcoming lockdown, which at that time was still merely a possibility until the president officially announced it hours later. And so I went home to Marikina that day and as of writing this, I haven’t been back to Makati since.
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It was March 20, DEEP DIVE
The PSEi made its deepest dive since early 2010s, it went as far as 4,700, it was briefly on the 3k level the previous day. Seeing an advantage from the situation, I deposited 20k on my COL account. I know some people may be groaning from this decision, it’s a pandemic and we could use the money. But I planned for this, I made sure we had enough funds in case anything happens in our family during these times. Although admittedly, foolish as it is, I didn’t think this lockdown would last 5 fucking months.
So the next trading day, I bought 12k worth of shares in an index fund hoping to ride the index back up when the whole thing calms down. I was intent on putting it in long term so even if the market dives deeper, it would be fine (Spoiler: Turns out I invested just in time before it goes up again).
I put the rest of the money on a speculative stock that I’ve been eyeing for a while.
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It was May 1, DEBT FREE
Starting May I decided to increase my monthly savings to 10k as I wasn’t going out anyway, and pledged 5k a month to my local foundation to help out in other communities as our community in Marikina is relatively more well off than others. At first the budget was hard as I still had to pay for my coop loan for 4 more cut off but that ended April 30. And since then I can save 10k, pledge 5k to our foundation, and use the rest to help out in our family expenses.
Starting May 1, I was debt free. At this point I had
EF – 41,000 (5k for 9 months + 4k bonus – 8k deposited to COL to make it 20k)
COL - 23,000 (Starting with the initial 20k, index grew by around 20% at this point while the stock grew quite a bit too)
Total Asset as of May 1, 2020 – 64,000
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It is July 26, HI THERE!
Yesterday I had the chance to revisit my budget, I didn’t get the chance before because the client I’m auditing requires most of my time. Ngayon lang free day ko, thank God its Sunday.
We’re 5 months into the lockdown and most of us were hit by the pandemic in different ways. I was lucky enough to be affected positively by the current events, at least financially. Emotionally and mentally is another story not fit for this subreddit.
Right now, at July 26, 2020 I finally reached P100k
EF – 66,000 (41k in May 1 + 25k for May, June, and first cutoff of July)
COL – 40,000 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
TOTAL ASSET – 106,000 as of writing.
The massive spike in my COL balance surprised me as much as anyone might have. As stock market enthusiasts would know, the PSEi recently went on a bull run before going sideways along the 6k level, but this was only small compared to how much I earned in the speculative stock I invested in, which I already sold by the way. The stock went from almost 1 peso to around 3-4 pesos recently before it went back down to 2-3 pesos, if anyone is familiar with the recent speculative stocks you might know what I am talking about.
And that’s how I achieved my first 100,000, pretty boring I know. Right now I feel proud of what I accomplished, if not for how I accomplished it. I wish it were otherwise but the biggest reason I made the P100k this early despite my expensive lifestyle earlier in the story is because the circumstances caused by the global pandemic ravaging the world right now gave me the chance to make it happen.
As I finally achieved the feat I was aiming for earlier than I expected, I decided to stop saving for now. Aside from my personal and family expenses, I decided to pledge the rest of my salary to the pandemic response mission.
There’s no lesson to my story, it’s pretty bland and I mostly did this for myself, but if you made it this far and want to help, you can donate to give2asia.org which is where I’ve been donating recently to reach other communities outside ours. Our earnings will grow again after the pandemic but some children might not. Of course, not everyone is well off during these times so I’m only addressing the people that have more than enough.
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THANK YOU FOR READING MY STORY! See you at P1 million? HAHAHAHA
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PS: I forgot that I still have coop contributions and I’ve been contributing 1,600 monthly. I ‘ve been contributing for 19.5 months since December 2018 and right now it’s at P31,200. So total is P137,200 apparently, unbelievable.

Any INTP knows the odds are against them all the time and that is enough to deter them. But I've always been a gambler. In middle school I got a multigame mini pool table, table tennis, and Roulette wheel and card table. My friends would come over and gamble money or things. My friend's mom disapproved and made him give me some stuff back (haha). I just didn't know I had to rake games to be "the house." In middle school the black kids taught white kids craps and we'd shoot for dollars. I still love a good dice game. We'd have them on payday after close a couple jobs ago. The shit talking is so much better than poker games.
In HS I gambled poker and chess a lot. My favorite poker game was played where everyone had 2.25g of shrooms in them. No poker faces and it didn't last that long. Not great at poker. I've gambled on Chess pretty successfully. Not great at Spades.
But I'm an INTP and Casinos aren't my thing. Rather gamble at pool at a dive bar.
That said I'm doing a lot of sports betting right now. I once read that a professional sports gambler only wins 55% of the time but they have advanced knowledge in props, parlays, hedging etc. I just figured at college and to a lesser extent pro football, I could pick the winner above 55% maybe even against against--the-spread. My favorite former gf was good at betting on the ponies because she was into horses and leased one, so she had similar inside knowledge as someone who's watched football for 25yrs
I put $150 deposit and got $165 because they passed some BTC savings onto me. First week I bet the full $165. I remember the bets too. $45 on Duke (Lost but beat the spread) Same with the $45 I put on S. Alabama. $45 on Coastal Carolina who won outright against Kansas $45. Because the house rakes the games I'd only win about $40 off each so that's $270. But I put a $30 parlay on all three winning and won $180. Turned $165 into $360 (not exact--change and some numbers were rounded). I qualified for a bonus $165 for betting everything. That's a cool $425.
I thought "Holy Shit I can just go pro" beginners luck. It was also right after I lost my job and I'm moving for a new one mid October. Back to my home city and old neighborhood. Pretty psyched really except moving is a hassle.
Two weeks ago lost $70. I thought that comes with the territory of a pro sports better. I broke even last week. This week I chose a new strategy and bet on 7 games instead of 3. Truth was I don't know a certain percentage. I know games I "know" but I only lost $60. It just feels worse because I went 1-6 instead of two weeks ago when I went 1-2. Plus I lose some change on the low probability parlays.
The problem is that I just dipped into my other $165 to bet on pro football. Put in a couple bets and a parlay. The winnings get transferred into my main account. I'm still up either $80 in my account (I can't cash in the "free money")
My floor is $200 because I wanna make at least $50 off this fun lil exercise but I see how addictive it is for the first time. I even sought out a Bitcoin chess gambling site mainly used by Africans but I don't play because either I'm not better at Chess than Nigerian Royalty or they use chess bots or both. It also was pretty obviously used for money laundering which is what the gambling sites are also used for. Now I'm betting on Sunday football. Not just Saturday.
I guess my cashout ceiling is a grand but I don't see that happening haha.
Point is that wk2 college football this year was like my first joint, the first time I mixed valium-codeine-and a belt of scotch at 14. The first time I painted something halfway decent under a bridge at 16. The first time I fucked a girl at 17. The first time I had an audience in stitches at 22 (standup). All very pleasurable and only relatively routinely done. Except maybe sex and drugs but they have other major downsides.
Hell when I learned to read at 8 I was attached to books my whole life but nobody thinks that's bad. Haha.
Do other people gamble?
I'm extraverted enough that if someone has dice on the street I'll shoot or if they have a chess game at a coffee shop. I'll bet $20.
Best in person bet was with a frenemy in my group who was the epitome of iamverysmart and everyone in my group thought he was a genius. I took $20 off him in front of everyone and he refused to try to win it back. Bad look for him.
I hope I can keep it just for fun. Any other INTP gamblers on here?
Edit: Forgot to mention I won $400+ in a $20 pool for the 2011 March Madness B-Ball tourney. I watched none of the regular season (like usual) but knew UConn was good but nobody picked them as they were a #3 seed. I didn't win most rounds either. Dumb luck. It's funny that I forgot because it was less recent than that grudge match against that guy I played chess against.

Hi all! I am looking for a roommate(s) to take the spare bedroom/bathroom in my 2 bedroom 2 bath loft in the heart of downtown LA and the historic core district. The move in date is flexible as I am looking for the right fit for myself and my dogs.
You would have your own room with your own private bathroom inside your room. It can come furnished or unfurnished. If you choose the furnished option your room will have a full size bed, TV (Hulu, Netflix and Disney +), xbox 360, desk/chair, portable closet and blackout curtains. Utilities are included (electric, internet, streaming apps) in furnished or unfurnished option.
The common space: Decent sized living room area in the center of the apartment next to the kitchen (dishwasher, toaster oven, stove, oven, fridge and microwave, etc). I also have a rowing machine that I'd be more than happy to share.
The bonus perks:
- Free Washer and dryer in loft, washedryer also available in the basement for large loads
- Rooftop Pool/Jacuzzi and gym
- Building neighbors are all young professionals. There are no jerks on my floor.
- Located near 7th and Spring
- Plenty of sunlight during the morning hours
- Fast internet which is rare for downtown LA. Averages around 200 mbps
- Huge amount of storage space above your private bathroom (see pics)
The location:
- Whole Foods is less than a 10 minute walk. They also deliver to my front door.
- There’s 2 Trader Joe’s I visit. One is off the metro red line at Hollywood and Vine. The other one is at USC, less than a 10-minute drive
- A smart and Final and Target are a 15-minute walk.
- There are two 24 hour mini markets about a block away
Public transit:
- Pershing Square metro (red line) is a 5-minute walk away
- 7th/Hope and 7th/Figueroa (red/purple/expo) metro is a 10-15-minute walk away
- Union Station is a less than a 5 minute uber ride
Parking:
- Plenty of paid options offsite
About me: I’m very laid back and live a pretty low key life. Especially during these current Covid times. Currently I work from home. I have two rescue dogs. One’s a super sweet boxer beagle mix. The other one is a 2-year-old Chihuahua mix who’s a total goofball. I’m really into pop culture as you can see fro the pics Been going to Comic-Con for the past 12 years.
Who you are: Responsible, super clean, has a steady income, has a full understanding/acceptance of roommate etiquette and you take the current pandemic very seriously. With the current climate my loft isn’t the place right now to bring a group of people back to hang out. Also I want to add that I’ve had just as many female roommates as men roommates. Actually I think more? So that’s not an issue for me. I can give you references from past roommates if you like.
Financial details:
- Furnished option is 1399 a month (includes utilities)
- Unfurnished option is 1299 a month (includes utilities)
- Security deposit: one month’s rent (includes utilities)
- Leasing options of one month or longer
- Your rent will always be due on the 1st of the month. Doesn’t matter if it’s a Sunday or a holiday. No exceptions.
- If you are a student, I will most likely ask for someone to co-sign the lease. 2 of my past roommates were students and they were amazing!
- You will be asked to show bank statements from the past 3 months, proof of current employment and past roommate referrals.
When replying back about the room please tell me a little about yourself (include things like your hobbies, where you work, what do you like to watch on TV etc) as well as including links to your social media. In return I’ll of course give you mine.
If interested I will contact you to schedule a video chat and or phone call.
Thanks and look forward to hearing from you!
Craigslist ad

It's that time of the month again. Let me know if I missed any.
Source: https://everybankbonus.com/bonuses?order_by=expiration_date
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Personal Accounts
[AZ, FL, IL, IN, KS, MN, MO, WI] BMO Harris Checking ($200). - Set up a $6,000 direct deposit, enroll in online banking/estatements, and complete 20 debit card purchases all within the first 4 months to get a $200 bonus. Hard pull: no Expires: 5/29 Link: https://www.bmoharris.com/main/personal/combo-core/?COID=BMOP-01931K-SEM200C&ecid=ps-11012019CHK4-CLUM24&gclsrc=aw.ds&&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI1pLQ5dP86AIVB9bACh3FuA_nEAAYASAAEgKh1vD_BwE
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​
Business Accounts
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After spending quite a bit of time at the Mage Training Arena, I found myself wanting more information about efficiency and runes needed. The hard part is that some of the numbers are dated or relative, and I found myself being just short or wayover on runes required for items.
I wanted something a bit more exact. First, let me share that this post is inspired by u/Carnacra's post a few years ago. If you haven't seen it, it's a fantastic post: https://www.reddit.com/2007scape/comments/3d4paa/mage_training_arena_log/. There's also a great overall reference on the Wiki here: https://oldschool.runescape.wiki/w/Pizazz_points .
The question is posed:
So, how many runes do I need to get _____, and how much XP will I get?
This question is relative to the points required for each item, and also dependent on what spells you'll be casting (or what Magic level you are). We're going to calculate the points earned on an average, and a maximum. Maximum is theoretical (really emphasizing theoretical here), and would literally be the absolute worst outcome, but allows you to plan for the lower bounds of RNG.

Number Dump

TL;DR This post is too long man, just tell me what I need to know.
Alchemy Room

• 5.21% Natures Saved on Average Per Alch
• 270 Alchemy Room Points Per Hour
• 3.16 Nature Runes per Point (Average), 3.33 Nature Runes per Point (Max)
• 416.67 XP per Alchemy Point
• 112,500 XP/hour

Telekinetic Room

• 24.10% Law Runes Saved (Average), 20.00% Law Runes Saved (Lowest)
• 186.74 Tele Room Points Per Hour (Average), 150.70 Tele Room Points Per Hour (Lowest)
• 1.75 Law Runes Per Point (Average), 2.22 Law Runes Per Point (Max)
• 99.35 XP Per Telekinetic Point (Average), 115.46 XP Per Telekinetic Point (Max)
• 18,550 XP/hour (Average), 17,400 XP/Hour (Lowest)

Graveyard Room

• 22.00% Nature Runes Saved on Average Per Cast
• 330.69 Graveyard Points Per Hour
• 0.94 Average Nature Runes Per Graveyard Point, 1.21 Per Point (Max)
• 42.11 XP Per Graveyard Point
• 13,900 XP/hour

Enchant Room

• 5.00% Cosmic Runes Saved on Average Per Cast

Lvl-6 Enchants

• 10,191.18 Enchant Points Per Hour at Lvl-6 Enchant (No Auto-Cast)
  • 5,414.10 Enchant Points (Auto-Cast)
• .12 Average Cosmic Runes Per Point at Lvl-6 Enchant, .13 Cosmic Runes (Max)
• 9.35 XP Per Enchant Point at Lvl-6 Enchant
• 95,280 XP/hour (No Auto-Cast)
  • 50,620 XP/hour (Auto-Cast)

​
Lvl-1 Enchants

• 2,779.41 Enchant Points Per Hour At Lvl-1 Enchant (No Auto-Cast),
  • 1476.57 Enchant Points (Auto-Cast)
• .43 Average Cosmic Runes Per Point At Lvl-1 Enchant, .45 Cosmic Runes (Max)
• 6.36 XP Per Enchantment Point At Lvl-1 Enchant
• 17,670 XP/hour (No Auto-Cast)
  • 9,390 XP/hour (Auto-Cast)

​

Average Runes and Time Required For Each Item

These averages assume you have average luck, and are playing at peak efficiency. This means these figures are based off of a player following the strategies mentioned, and being near tick perfect. Most players will likely be around 60-75% efficiency in consideration of time averages.

Item	Avg. Runes Used	Avg. Time at 100% Efficiency
Infinity Gloves	307 Law, 876 Nature, 645 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 180 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	2.84 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), 2.45 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)
Infinity Hat	613 Law, 1593 Nature, 1290 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 360 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	5.49 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), 4.71 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)
Infinity Top	700 Law, 1798 Nature, 1720 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 480 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	6.46 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), 5.41 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)
Infinity Bottoms	788 Law, 2003 Nature, 2150 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 600 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	7.42 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), 6.11 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)
Infinity Boots	210 Law, 492 Nature, 516 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 144 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	1.88 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), 1.57 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)
Beginner Wand	53 Law, 123 Nature, 129 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 72 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	.47 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), .39 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)
Apprentice Wand	105 Law, 246 Nature, 256 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 72 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	.94 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), .78 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)
Teacher Wand	263 Law, 773 Nature, 645 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 180 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	2.54 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), 2.14 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)
Master Wand	420 Law, 984 Nature, 1032 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 288 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	3.76 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), 3.14 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)
Master Wand (All Preceding)	840 Law, 2126 Nature, 2064 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 576 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	7.71 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), 6.46 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)
Mage's Book	875 Law, 2208 Nature, 2580 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 720 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	8.39 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), 6.82 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)
Bones to Peaches**	350 Law, 1136 Nature, 860 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 240 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	3.51 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), 2.98 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)

**Will likely require less Nature Runes (since you'll be healing with other food), and time will be a bit longer
​
​
Now let's get into it.
I'm assuming the following:

• You're somewhat familiar with the mechanics of the Mage Training Arena.
• Your goal is to get your item(s) as quick as possible.
• You're being efficient in the Graveyard room.
• You have Bones to Peaches.
• You're casting High Alchemy.
• You have Stamina potions.
• You are using staves that provide free elemental runes.
• You aren't collecting Dragonstones.

The Alchemy Room

Our goal in the alchemy room is to alchemize the items that have the most value, purely for efficiency. It's a good strategy to carry 2 of each item in your inventory for when the items rotate stations. This allows you to alch while moving between deposit boxes.
The Alchemy room has 5 items that rotate every 42.2 seconds. In a sample of 212, 42.2-second rotations, 72 of them had free items. We can assume that a free item will occur 1 out of 3 rotations. Considering that items can never be the same consecutive value, this means we can assume there is a chance of consuming no nature runes.
Things to note:

• Our goal is to alchemize the items that are 30 coins each
• Items rotate every 42.2 seconds
• Free items can appear in consecutive rotations
• An item will never be the same value after a rotation
• Alchemy takes 5 ticks, or 3 seconds to cast
• We're going to assume at peak efficiency, you'll get 10 alchs in per rotation, or 15 alchs per minute
• 100 coins are equal to 1 point

​
Alchemy Room Calculations
Average Nature Runes Saved from Free Items
= (Chance of free item) * (Chance of 30 coins item, non-repeating)
=(1/3) * (1 - ~.8438)
= (1/3) * (~.1562)
= 5.21% Natures Runes Saved per Alch
Alchemy Room - Points Per Hour
= ((Alchs Per Minute) * (60 minutes) * (30 coins)) / (100 coins per point)
= (900 Alchs per Hour) * (30 coins) / (100 coins per point)
= (27000 coins) /100
= 270 Alchemy Room Points Per Hour
Alchemy Room - Average Nature Runes Consumed per Point
= (Nature Rune Consumption Chance) * (100 coins per point) / (Coins Per Alch)
= (1.00 - .0521) * 100 / (30)
= 3.16 Nature Runes per Point (Average)
Alchemy Room - Max Nature Runes Consumed Per Point
= (100 coins per point) / (30 Coins Per Alch)
= 3.33 Nature Runes per Point (Max)
Alchemy Room - XP Per Point
= (Bonus XP per Coin) *(100 coins per point) +(100 coins per point) / (30 coins per Alch) * (High Alch XP)
= 2*100+ 3.33 * 65
= 416.67 XP per Alchemy Point
​

The Telekinetic Room

The telekinetic room has great documentation already. I'll be citing a few references from the Wiki: https://oldschool.runescape.wiki/w/Mage_Training_Arena/Telekinetic_Theatre.
Things to note:

• There are 10 mazes in total.
• The average number of casts of telekinetic grab for all mazes is 8.3.
• You gain 10 law runes after completing 5 mazes.
• The average time to complete each maze is 59.4 seconds.
  • We can assume maximum efficiency adds an additional 10 seconds for loading.
• Time calculations factor in not needing run energy, assuming the use of stamina potions.
• The longest maze is 76 seconds.
• The largest number of telegrabs needed is 10 per maze.
• You gain 2 points per maze, and 8 points upon completion of 5.
  • This makes the average points per maze 3.6.

Telekinetic Room Calculations
Telekinetic Room - Average Law Runes Saved
= 10 / (Average Law Runes Consumed) *5
= 10 / (8.3*5)
= 24.10% Law Runes Saved (Average)
Telekinetic Room - Lowest Law Runes Saved
= 10 / (Average Law Runes Consumed) *5
= 10 / (10*5)
= 20.00% Law Runes Saved (Lowest)
Telekinetic Room - Average Points Per Hour
= (Mazes Completed Per Hour)* (Points Per Maze)
= (60*(60/69.4)) * 3.6
= 186.74 Telekinetic Room Points Per Hour (Average)
Telekinetic Room - Lowest Points Per Hour
= (Mazes Completed Per Hour)* (Points Per Maze)
= (60*(60/86)) * 3.6
= 150.70 Telekinetic Room Points Per Hour (Lowest)
Telekinetic Room - Average Law Runes Consumed per Point
= ((Average Law Runes Per Maze) * (Average Law Runes Used)) / (Points Per Maze)
= (8.3 * (1 - .241) / 3.6
= 1.75 Law Runes Per Point (Average)
Telekinetic Room - Max Law Runes Consumed per Point
= ((Max Law Runes Per Maze) * (Max Law Runes Used)) / (Points Per Maze)
= (10 * (1 - .20)) / 3.6
= 2.22 Law Runes Per Point (Max)
Alchemy Room - XP Per Point (Average)
= (Average Law Runes Per Point)*(Telekinetic Grab XP) + (Bonus XP for maze completions)/(5 Maze Completions * Average Casts Per Maze)
= (1.75 * 43) + (1000)/(5 * 8.3)
= 99.35 XP Per Telekinetic Point (Average)
Alchemy Room - XP Per Point (Lowest)
= (Max Law Runes Per Point)*(Telekinetic Grab XP) + (Bonus XP for maze completions)/(5 Maze Completions * Max Casts Per Maze)
= (2.22* 43) + (1000)/(5 * 10)
= 115.46 XP Per Telekinetic Point (Max)

The Graveyard Room

The Graveyard Room is a very straightforward room. You collect bones, fill your inventory 20 spaces, and cast bones to bananas. If you're low on health, you cast bones to peaches. If you're interested in more around the strategy, see u/Carnacra's post.
Things to note:

• You get 1 point per 16 fruits deposited.
• We'll assume that it takes 20 ticks (12 seconds) to both collect and deposit fruits.
• Bananas or peaches both count as 1 fruit, therefore it's better to deposit more bananas.
• Peaches help heal you when low on health, but the spell should be used sparingly.
• You can cast on more fruits than the meta of 20, but we'll be calculating off of 20 slots.
• You take 2 damage every 10 ticks, or 6 seconds.
• We'll make an assumption that a player has 60 health.
  • This player will ideally heal once they've hit 20 health.
  • We'll estimate it takes 20 ticks (12 seconds) to heal up, which is the equivalence of 48 health.
  • The player will be taking damage while eating, equal to 4 health.
• You will receive 1 Water, Earth, Nature, Death or Blood rune per 16 points.
• You gain 25 bonus XP per deposit, whenever you receive points.
  • This means receiving 2 points will not net 50 bonus XP, just 25.

Graveyard Room Calculations
Graveyard Room - Peaches Consumed Per Hour
= ((Seconds/Hour) / (Time to 40 Health in Seconds + Time to Eat in Seconds)) * (Peaches Eaten per cast)
= (Number of Peach Casts per Hour) * (Peaches Eaten Per Cast)
= (3600 / (120 + 12)) * 6
= 27.2727 * 6
= 164 Peaches Consumed Per Hour
Graveyard Room - Casts per Hour
=((Seconds/Hour) /(Time to Deposit)) - (Peach Casts))
= (3600/12 - 27.2727)
= 272.73 Bone Casts Per Hour (27.27 Peach Casts, 245.56 Banana Casts)
Graveyard Room - Fruit Deposited Per Hour
= (Bone Casts Per Hour) * 20 - (Peaches Consumed)
= (Fruit Created) - (Peaches Consumed)
= (3600/12 - 27.2727) * 20 - 164
= (300 - 27.2727) * 20 - 164
= 5,291 Fruits Deposited Per Hour
Graveyard Room - Points Per Hour
= (Fruits Deposited Per Hour) / 60
= 330.69 Graveyard Points Per Hour
Graveyard Room - Points Per Cast
= (1/16) \ (Fruits Deposited Per Hour) / (Bone Casts Per Hour)*
= (1/16) * (5291/272.73 + 27.27)
= 1.21 Points Per Cast
Graveyard Room - Nature Runes Saved Per Cast
= (Chance of Nature Rune Reward) * (Total Casts/ (All Casts Per Hour+Peach Casts) * Points Per Cast
= .20 * (272.73/300) * 1.21
= 22.00% Nature Runes Saved
Graveyard Room - Nature Runes Per Point
= (1 - Nature Runes Saved) * (Points Per Cast)
= .78 * 1.21
= .94 Average Nature Runes Per Graveyard Point
Graveyard Room - XP Per Graveyard Point
= (((Peach Casts * (Peach XP)+ Banana Casts * (Banana XP))/(Total Casts))+ (Deposit Bonus XP))/(Points Per Cast)
= (((27.27* 35.5) + (25 * 272.73))/300)+ 25)/(1.21)
= 42.11 XP Per Graveyard Point

The Enchanter's Room

The Enchanter's Room is arguably the easiest. The meta here has changed. While dragonstones do provide more points per enchant, they actually damage how efficiently you get points. The best method is to go to a corner with 2 shapes, and split your inventory in half. For the calculations below, we're going to use Lvl-1 Enchant (that way multipliers can be applied for magic level).
Things to Note:

• You gain 1 point per level of enchantment cast.
  • This means casting Lvl-4 Enchant is 4 points, wheras Lvl-6 Enchant is 6 points.
  • We'll assume you won't ever cast a Lvl-7 Enchant, as they're incredibly expensive.
• There are 4 shapes, excluding Dragonstones.
• Picking up Dragonstones can net 14 points per enchant, but they take a long time to spawn.
• You will ideally have 25 inventory spaces free per inventory.
  • You'll have 12 of 1 shape, and 13 of another.
  • This realistically makes your chance of enchanting the bonus shape 50%.
  • If you enchant the bonus shape, you gain an additional 2 points per enchantment.
• It takes 1 tick (.6 seconds) to pick up a shape, or 15 seconds for a full inventory.
• If not auto-casting, you will enchant one shape every 3 ticks (1.8 seconds).
  • If auto-casting, you'll enchant one shape every 7 ticks (4.2 seconds).
• We'll assume you'll add 8 seconds per inventory from moving between deposits and piles.
• Every tenth shape is worth double points.
  • This effectively makes a point multiplier of 1.1
• For every 20 shapes deposited, you'll gain 3 cosmic, death, or blood runes.

Enchanter Room Calculations
Enchanter Room - Cosmic Runes Saved Per Cast
= 3 * (Chance of Cosmic Runes) / (Shapes Required for Reward)
= 3 * (1/3) / 20
= 5.00% of Cosmic Runes Saved
Enchanter Room - Casts per Hour (No Auto-Cast)
= (Seconds/Hour) / (Time to Collect Shapes + Time to Cast + Movement Time)
= 3600 / (.6 + 1.8 + (8/25))
= 3600 / 2.72
= 1323.53 Casts Per Hour (No Auto-Cast), 703.13 Casts Per Hour (Auto-Cast)
Enchanter Room - Points per Cast at Lvl-1 Enchant
= (Tenth Shape Bonus Multiplier)*((Enchant Level) + (Chance of Bonus Shape * 2))
= 1.1 * (1+1)
= 2.2 Points Per Cast (Lvl-1 Enchant) [or Enchant Level * 1.1 + 1.1 Per Cast]
Enchanter Room - Points per Hour (No Auto-Cast)
= (Casts Per Hour) * (Points per Cast)
= 1323.53 * (1.1*1 + (1/2) * 2)
= 2,779.41 Enchant Points Per Hour At Lvl-1 Enchant (No Auto-Cast), 1476.57 (Auto-Cast)
= 10,191.18 Enchant Points Per Hour at Lvl-6 Enchant (No Auto-Cast), 5,414.10 (Auto-Cast)
Enchanter Room - Cosmic Runes Per Point
= (Chance of Cosmic Rune Consumed) / (Points Per Cast Formula)
= (1 - .05) / (1.1 + 1.1)
= .43 Cosmic Runes Per Point At Lvl-1 Enchant
= .12 Cosmic Runes Per Point at Lvl-6 Enchant
Enchanter Room - XP Per Enchantment Point
= (Enchant XP) / (Points Per Cast)
= 14 / 2.2
= 6.36 XP Per Enchantment Point At Lvl-1 Enchant, 9.35 XP Per Enchant Point at Lvl-6 Enchant
​

Summary

There are probably more calculations that can be done here, but I wanted to help create something substantive that could help others. Hope this helps, and feedback is always welcome!
​
EDIT: I fudged Graveyard XP. You get 25 XP when points are received, regardless of being 1 or 2 points. These numbers now reflect.
​
EDIT 2: The Enchant XP is a bit wrong. Players get reduced XP in the room, compared to out in the world. Numbers now reflect this.

Near this spot / Are deposited the Remains of one / Who possessed Beauty without Vanity / Strength without Insolence / Courage without Ferocity / And all the virtues of Man, without his Vices.

Ten thousand years after the first wolves started joining humans not to hunt or be hunted by them, but for the mutual benefit of both, their descendants have their part in every facet of modern life. Football, as the most important of the less important things of it, of course that is also included. So, here are three small stories about dogs and their role in the beautiful game.

1) The last Blitz of Westfalen.

It was a certain Prussian who first named dogs as Man’s best friend. Close to 200 years after that, a Dortmund-born German shepherd called Blitz was exactly that for his master, but not so much for the rest.
Context: the 71st Revierderby. Germany’s most famous derby was different back then. For a start neither the Westfalenstadion nor the Arena AufSchalke were the home of Borussia or the Blueshite yet. No, the match in question was played in the as-old-as-loved Rote Erde, that even in its best days barely could host around 4,000 spectators seated. But it could host practically 10 times that number if the people in the wooden stands decided to stay up the whole match, and it was around that the ones who indeed went there for that fateful night in 1969.
The stadium wasn’t the only different thing. You see, the Revierderby has a curious history. Despite being nowadays a derby that doesn’t has much to envy of the likes of Old Firm or El Clásico, unlike them there isn’t truly essential ideological nor religious reasons that cause such rift between the clubs. On the opposite, just like those of the rest of the Ruhrpott, them and their fanbases are relatively homogeneous, and the geographical distance that once did existed nowadays is negligible.
So, in the very beginning there was no hate between both. What is more, not few Dortmund fans had a soft spot for Schalke in their glory days. After all, both clubs weren’t even real sportive rivals. The BVB barely had modest success in the local lower leagues while the Königsblauen were the jewel of the whole Reich, and no matter if Germany or Argentina or Japan, children and politicians do love to support winners. But times had indeed changed since then, Borussia had grown and Schalke had diminished, and a healthy rivalry was becoming bigger and bigger with each year.
For some, it indeed was what eventually became the Hundebiss what made the rivalry explode. 39,000 spectators had filled Rote Erde, the tickets had been sold out for weeks. The police was forced to concur to the match even if just to avoid pitch invasions that could become avalanches, and it was in that context that the canine friends had their role… and that a Dortmund fan called Wolfgang Musanke saw his oportunity.
Musanke had unsucessfully tried to get a ticket to the derby, but he had a dog of the same breed that the ones used by the police. So, even if it was just for trying it and to not suffer because of the “what if?”, the day of the match he went to the stadium with his dog Blitz tied to his arm, the relevant clothes and a confident attitude. And after some words, both indeed were able to watch the match alongside the stewards and the rest of the dog brigade, over the athletic track between the stands and the pitch.
Until then everything was well, but then the match started. The derby atmosphere was mainly in the stands but the players also did their part, and it was in the 37’ when hell broke loose. Schalke’s Austrian striker Hans Pirkner scored after placing the ball in the angle and the numerous Knappen fans, as stacked as happy, poured in dozens into the pitch to hug their players. The police and the stewards reacted and went to separate them, and in that the dogs had a pivotal role… but unfortunaly they weren’t unmuzzled.
And the dogs, as noble as they can be, are still beasts and don’t difference players from fans, so two Schalke players were bitten. Striker Gerd Neuser was lucky and was it just in the leg, his defender teammate Friedel Rausch wasn’t it so much and received a full bite in his ass. And to make the story even better, the author of it was nobody else than our friend Blitz.
Initially the situation was calm in the sense of that a full riot was able to be avoided. Both players received medical help and a tetanus shot and were able to continue the match (Neuser leg eventually went numb and he had to be subbed off though), and Borussia was able to score and avoid a home defeat. However, that was only the start.
Schalke filled a protest and wanted to be given a 0-3. As usual the DFB wanted to punish BVB too, but eventually both clubs told that they would resolve the conflict in their own terms, so the Federation decided to focus on creating the rules that would introduce fences in German stadiums and the separation of home and away fanbases (and to police dogs to be muzzled). Musanke was catched by the club authorities and was informed that as the master of Blitz he would be the one responsible if Rausch or another victim sued the club, but luckily for him the players weren’t unreasonable and were happy with the compensation of 500 marks and flowers that was offered to them.
Rausch was asked about it some years ago and still tells that he had to sleep over his stomach for two weeks, but of the incident itself only remembers “Excitement after the goal. Then my trousers soaked in blood. And then only voices saying 'Hold the dog'”. The incident though, would make him one of the most famous men in Gelsenkirchen, and people started to salute him in the streets… and not few rivals to bark at him on the pitch.
The offense itself though, wouldn’t be forgotten. And even if the Schalke directives of those years deny it, the fact is that the rivalry, coincidentally or not, started to grow to new (and its present) heights precisely in the years around that match.
And it also can’t be a coincidence that for the return match in the second part of the season, Schalke had invited special guests to receive its neightbours. Two young lions were the honour guard that escorted the players into the pitch. Luckily this time, only laughter and no bites happened.

2) Chilean Dog vs Argentinian Monkey.

"Here lies the noble German shepherd, a beacon of his breed and an example to the whole human race" reads the tombstone, adorned with laurels, of Ron, the dog that gained fame by biting Boca Juniors goalkeeper, Carlos Fernando Navarro Montoya, in a Copa Libertadores semifinal.
It was May of 1991. The biggest Chilean club, Colo Colo, were favourites to win the second most famous club competition in the world. Chileans despite its proud football history just are not as successful as their Argentinian, Brazillian and Uruguayan neighbours, and just like the first Copa America wouldn't be won until 25 years later, back then no Chilean club had won the Libertadores despite having reached various finals already.
However, this one seemed as a golden oportunity, as the favourites -Brazil's Flamengo- had already been eliminated and another one -Uruguay's Nacional- was defeated 4-0 by the Chileans. But there was a small problem, the biggest team of the continent, Boca Juniors, still was there and were their rivals for the semifinals.
Colo Colo fought bravely in Argentina but Boca in La Bombonera is something else, so they lost 1-0. But if anything, the defeat only made the Chileans more anxious and angry. That both countries had a bitter rivalry that almost had ended in a military conflict less than a decade before it didn't help either. The whole country prepared for the return match in Santiago, with even part of Colo Colo rival fans supporting them in their match against the Argentinians.
So, with 70,000 fans in the stands, Colo Colo received a Boca Juniors that had current Uruguay's NT manager Oscar Tabarez as their manager and a certain Batistuta as their #9, with the impossible mission of getting a comeback against a team that hadn't ever been eliminated after winning the first leg of a Libertadores semifinal. Add to the picture that Tabarez plays a style that makes Catenaccio look like peak total football, and you can see that hope wasn't truly rational.
But against all odds, passion, pride and a maybe a bit of a localist refereeing were able to get the miracle. After 65' of attacking the goal defended by the Miguel "Monkey" Montoya was finally breached and conceded two goals in less than 3'. Boca didn't had any other option than attack and having the best Argentinian striker of all times helped them a bit, and 8' after the second Chilean goal they scored the 2-[1] that once again made them qualify to the final.
But Colo Colo didn't surrender and less than 10' after it a goal (that would end being a golden one) was scored, and then was when hell broke loose. Not only fans stormed the pitch, but the hundreds of journalists that were around it also joined the celebrations.
Montoya, always a hot-head, didn't liked this. Not even a bit, although to be fair neither did his usually more calm teammates. Maradona's connationals attacked everybody that invaded the pitch and a riot started. The Argentinian newspaper Clarín later would mention in its article how the match basically ended with "the Monkey punching policemen, Hrabina kicking a photographer in the face, Batistuta doing the same with a fan, Simón covering a TV camera with his hand while insulting the cameraman, and Tabarez shouting in disarray: "I don't want to give you an interview, do you understand? and then the noise of a man rolling down the stairs in the tunnel".
And amongst all of this, appears our friend Ron. Just like Blitz, he was a German shepherd, but unlike him he was actually part of the official police dogs brigade. Nor that such detail would help Mono Montoya, that just like Rausch 12,000 kilometers away, ended being bitten in the ass after the canine friend managed to escape from his police master after he saw him punching a journalist.
The match, that in typical Libertadores fashion already had 8 yellows and 1 red card for Boca at that point, degenerated in a riot that forced the Brazillian referee to end it and send the teams (or most of them, as Tabarez and two players ended arrested) to the dressing rooms. No matter how ugly, Chileans were happy, the victory indeed had been achieved (ironically, Tabarez also would end being a protagonist of a match with an end almost as controversial, the Chile 1-0 Uruguay in the 2015 Copa America)
Ron meanwhile, after being seen bitting the Argentinian keeper in the ass in live TV by the whole country, immediately became the most loved and famous dog that had existed so far, displacing Odysseus' Argos and Scooby Doo. It didn't harmed that even the Chilean Police itself officially lauded his manouver, calling it "an action that helped to control things".
Colo would go to win the final against Paraguay's Olimpia and become the first Chilean team in winning the Libertadores. 30 years later, they still are the only ones to do so. They also are the only team to eliminate Boca after losing the first leg of a semifinal.
Ron itself indeed had a glorious life but sadly a short one, dying of a heart attack less than 5 years after that in a training when he still was a pretty young dog. Not few Argentinians would banter Montoya about how maybe that was related to something the poor dog contracted after the bite. He would end being buried with military honours in the cementery that the Chilean police has for its human members, and with a statue being erected in his honour that is visited by Colo Colo fans every year.
In the aniversary of his death of 2 years ago, Colo Colo's official account oficially remembered him as "the dog that now is in Heaven biting goalkeepers"

3) Pickles the dog is a very good boy.

(As this is getting too long, and as The Guardian article by Scott Murray I originally read about it is better than anything I could do, I will just transcribe it. Hope that you enjoy it as much as I did.)

The Jules Rimet trophy went walkies in March 1966. Upon discovering that the most precious prize in world football had been snatched from under their hapless noses, the folk at the Football Association responded in a manner that couldn’t have been more English had their press release been soaked in weak milky tea. “The FA deeply regrets this most unfortunate incident,” began their clipped, haughty study in brazen understatement. “It inevitably brings discredit to both the FA and this country.”
They’d struck the right tone with that last bit, at least. The FA was way out of the good books for losing the cup. “I’m damned angry!” spluttered Erik von Frenckell, honorary president of the Finnish FA. Abrain Tebet of the Brazilian Sports Confederation was even more strident. “Even Brazilian thieves love football and would never commit this sacrilege! It would never have happened in Brazil.” Oh Abrain! No good will ever come of talk like this.
Still, you can understand the sentiment. In retrospect, security arrangements for the 12-inch solid-gold representation of Nike, Greek goddess of victory, perched delicately on a precious hunk of lapis lazuli, were not all they could have been. The FA had released the cup for display at a stamp exhibition in Central Hall, Westminster, on the “strict written understanding that it would be displayed in a glass showcase”. They also insisted that a guard would be posted alongside, night and day. No corners cut, what with England about to stage the eighth World Cup.
The stipulations were rigorously met. Sort of. Almost. “Our instructions were that the cup was to be kept under personal observation, certainly during the time the exhibition was open, during daylight,” explained exhibition chairman Cecil Richardson. “We had two guards standing by it all the time. The pressure of security was not considered quite so serious when the hall was closed to the public.”
Having reasoned that robbers were far less likely to attempt a heist when nobody was around to witness it, the guards kicked back on the morning of Sunday 20th. Though there was a Methodist service being held in another part of the building, the stamp exhibition itself was shut. Plus there was a wooden bar across the door at the rear of the hall and a little lock on the showcase, which was also covered at the back by a heavy hessian sheet. Hourly checks would suffice!
Somehow, the UK’s answer to Fort Knox was breached between the regular tour of inspection at 11am, when the cup was there, and the following tour at midday, when the cup was not. The wooden bar was found on the floor alongside two screws which had held it to the wall. The lock had been forced. And the burlap curtain showed signs of having been slightly ruffled. One of the guards had reportedly spotted a stranger with “greased black hair brushed back flat” and “thin lips” milling around the hall by a public phone just after 11, but he was on his way to the loo when he made the sighting, and potty takes precedence.
The head of Alsa-Guard Security Services, the firm hired by the exhibition to look after Nike, insisted with a Trumpian flourish that his guards had been positioned “alongside, very alongside” the showcase. However when pressed he became evasive. “Look lads, don’t try to tie me down to geographical details.” Richardson also worked a little wriggle room, on the one hand absurdly claiming that “nothing went wrong, it was just stolen” while also musing philosophically that “we all have room for human error, and perhaps a little human error may have crept in”.
The search to find the cup proved equally farcical. “In the Metropolitan police we have the most brilliant detectives,” claimed crime prevention officer chief inspector Paterson. “The World Cup organisers are hoping this is so.” Fingers were duly crossed. But just in case blind faith wasn’t enough, several rewards were offered for the trophy’s recovery. The Gillette razor company stumped up £500. City loss adjusters Toplis and Harding chipped in £3,000. Walter Max, a London osteopath who for more than a quarter of a century had treated many top footballers, contributed 150 guineas. Tommy Trinder, chairman of Fulham, promised to give £1,000 to any lucky person who returned the cup to him at the Latin Quarter nightclub on Wardour Street, where he was the resident comic.
In the meantime, FA chairman Joe Mears was contacted on Monday 21st by Jackson, a fidgety type who said a parcel was on its way and that enclosed instructions should be followed. Mears took delivery of a small part of the trophy, plus a note demanding £15,000 in used oncers in exchange for the rest of it. Jackson would pick up the cash at a Friday 25th rendezvous with Mears, then send Nike winging back to him the day after.
Sadly the stress got to Mears, who suffered from angina and repaired to bed on the day of the meet. Detective inspector Len Buggy of the Flying Squad went instead, and the operation quickly degenerated into Big Lebowski farce. Jackson didn’t notice that Buggy’s suitcase, supposedly full of banknotes, mainly contained scraps of old newspaper. But he did clock a nearby van, and correctly surmised it was full of peelers. He tried to make a break for it but was arrested and uncovered as Edward Betchley, a Camberwell “dealer” with a previous conviction for handling knock-off corned beef. Betchley was charged with stealing the cup but flatly denied all knowledge, claiming a man only known to him as The Pole had paid him £500 to act as go-between.
That same evening, a phone rang at the Times. A voice claimed that the World Cup was “in a brown suitcase in the left luggage office at Charing Cross”. But this proved a hoax. So where on earth was it? There were no leads … except the one 26-year-old Thames docker David Corbett was desperately trying to attach to his collie’s collar two nights later, Sunday 27th, lest the excitable little scamp sprint across Beulah Hill, a leafy road in Upper Norwood, south London.
As Corbett fiddled with the leash, Pickles stuck his snout under a nearby bush. “I was about to put his lead on when I noticed he was sniffing at something near the path,” Corbett explained. “I looked down and saw the parcel. It was wrapped in newspaper. I picked it up, it was very weighty. I tore one end off; a base. I tore the other end off: a gold figure! I still didn’t realise what it was. I went back to the base and turned it round. It said Brazil 1962, and it suddenly all came to me.” Corbett rushed inside to show it to his wife Jean, then took it to Gypsy Hill nick. He made sure to tell the astonished constables that “Pickles saw it first, the little darling!”
Pickles became a national hero overnight. He was awarded a solid silver medal by lieutenant-colonel Alexander Hendrick ‘Rosie’ Roosmalecocq, secretary of the National Canine Defence League – now the Dogs Trust – in a posh ceremony at a swish Kensington hotel. He also received a silver platter covered in cash totalling £53, the result of a whip-round by hotel staff, and a brown rubber bone to chew. A year’s supply of free dog food also came his way, plus a trot-on part in Galton and Simpson’s comic caper The Spy with the Cold Nose. His stardom ensured he was paid double the normal doggie rate.
Corbett had to wait a little longer for his treats. Mears had put his name forward for the rewards – “Why should Corbett claim it, when you have had all the worry?” his wife had argued – but withdrew his claim when it became clear Toplis and Harding weren’t going to recognise it. Corbett eventually trousered the best part of £6,000; by way of comparison, England’s players were paid £1,360 each in bonuses for winning the cup.
Mears never saw Bobby Moore lift the trophy Pickles rescued. He succumbed to his heart condition on the eve of the finals aged 61. It would be harsh to remember him solely for his unfortunate role in this fiasco: he was, after all, the man in charge of security for Winston Churchill’s underground operation room at Whitehall during the war, and that didn’t work out so badly. Poor Pickles also met a premature end, choking on his lead while chasing a cat in 1967. As for Nike herself? She was stolen in 1983 from the headquarters of the Brazilian FA, which had been given her to cherish for eternity after Brazil’s third win in 1970. The trophy was never seen again, presumably melted down. Oh Abrain! You had to say it, didn’t you!

That's it. Hope that you like it. Do your club or nation has any remarkable story about football and dogs? Please share them!

After spending quite a bit of time at the Mage Training Arena, I found myself wanting more information about efficiency and runes needed. The hard part is that some of the numbers are dated or relative, and I found myself being just short or wayover on runes required for items.
I wanted something a bit more exact. First, let me share that this post is inspired by u/Carnacra's post a few years ago. If you haven't seen it, it's a fantastic post: https://www.reddit.com/2007scape/comments/3d4paa/mage_training_arena_log/. There's also a great overall reference on the Wiki here: https://oldschool.runescape.wiki/w/Pizazz_points .
The question is posed:
So, how many runes do I need to get _____, and how much XP will I get?
This question is relative to the points required for each item, and also dependent on what spells you'll be casting (or what Magic level you are). We're going to calculate the points earned on an average, and a maximum. Maximum is theoretical (really emphasizing theoretical here), and would literally be the absolute worst outcome, but allows you to plan for the lower bounds of RNG.

Number Dump

TL;DR This post is too long man, just tell me what I need to know.
Alchemy Room

• 5.21% Natures Saved on Average Per Alch
• 270 Alchemy Room Points Per Hour
• 3.16 Nature Runes per Point (Average), 3.33 Nature Runes per Point (Max)
• 416.67 XP per Alchemy Point
• 112,500 XP/hour

Telekinetic Room

• 24.10% Law Runes Saved (Average), 20.00% Law Runes Saved (Lowest)
• 186.74 Tele Room Points Per Hour (Average), 150.70 Tele Room Points Per Hour (Lowest)
• 1.75 Law Runes Per Point (Average), 2.22 Law Runes Per Point (Max)
• 99.35 XP Per Telekinetic Point (Average), 115.46 XP Per Telekinetic Point (Max)
• 18,550 XP/hour (Average), 17,400 XP/Hour (Lowest)

Graveyard Room

• 22.00% Nature Runes Saved on Average Per Cast
• 330.69 Graveyard Points Per Hour
• 0.94 Average Nature Runes Per Graveyard Point, 1.21 Per Point (Max)
• 42.11 XP Per Graveyard Point
• 13,900 XP/hour

Enchant Room

• 5.00% Cosmic Runes Saved on Average Per Cast

Lvl-6 Enchants

• 10,191.18 Enchant Points Per Hour at Lvl-6 Enchant (No Auto-Cast)
  • 5,414.10 Enchant Points (Auto-Cast)
• .12 Average Cosmic Runes Per Point at Lvl-6 Enchant, .13 Cosmic Runes (Max)
• 12.60 XP Per Enchant Point at Lvl-6 Enchant
• 128,380 XP/hour (No Auto-Cast)
  • 68,200 XP/hour (Auto-Cast)

​
Lvl-1 Enchants

• 2,779.41 Enchant Points Per Hour At Lvl-1 Enchant (No Auto-Cast),
  • 1476.57 Enchant Points (Auto-Cast)
• .43 Average Cosmic Runes Per Point At Lvl-1 Enchant, .45 Cosmic Runes (Max)
• 7.95 XP Per Enchantment Point At Lvl-1 Enchant
• 23,160 XP/hour (No Auto-Cast)
  • 12,300 XP/hour (Auto-Cast)

​

Average Runes and Time Required For Each Item

These averages assume you have average luck, and are playing at peak efficiency. This means these figures are based off of a player following the strategies mentioned, and being near tick perfect. Most players will likely be around 60-75% efficiency in consideration of time averages.

Item	Avg. Runes Used	Avg. Time at 100% Efficiency
Infinity Gloves	307 Law, 876 Nature, 645 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 180 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	2.84 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), 2.45 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant)
Infinity Hat	613 Law, 1593 Nature, 1290 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 360 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	5.49 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), 4.71 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)
Infinity Top	700 Law, 1798 Nature, 1720 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 480 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	6.46 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), 5.41 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)
Infinity Bottoms	788 Law, 2003 Nature, 2150 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 600 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	7.42 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), 6.11 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)
Infinity Boots	210 Law, 492 Nature, 516 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 144 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	1.88 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), 1.57 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)
Beginner Wand	53 Law, 123 Nature, 129 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 72 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	.47 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), .39 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)
Apprentice Wand	105 Law, 246 Nature, 256 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 72 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	.94 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), .78 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)
Teacher Wand	263 Law, 773 Nature, 645 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 180 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	2.54 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), 2.14 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)
Master Wand	420 Law, 984 Nature, 1032 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 288 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	3.76 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), 3.14 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)
Master Wand (All Preceding)	840 Law, 2126 Nature, 2064 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 576 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	7.71 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), 6.46 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)
Mage's Book	875 Law, 2208 Nature, 2580 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 720 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	8.39 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), 6.82 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)
Bones to Peaches**	350 Law, 1136 Nature, 860 Cosmic (Lvl-1), 240 Cosmic (Lvl-6)	3.51 Hours (Lvl-1 Enchant), 2.98 Hours (Lvl-6 Enchant)

**Will likely require less Nature Runes (since you'll be healing with other food), and time will be a bit longer
​
​
Now let's get into it.
I'm assuming the following:

• You're somewhat familiar with the mechanics of the Mage Training Arena.
• Your goal is to get your item(s) as quick as possible.
• You're being efficient in the Graveyard room.
• You have Bones to Peaches.
• You're casting High Alchemy.
• You have Stamina potions.
• You are using staves that provide free elemental runes.
• You aren't collecting Dragonstones.

The Alchemy Room

Our goal in the alchemy room is to alchemize the items that have the most value, purely for efficiency. It's a good strategy to carry 2 of each item in your inventory for when the items rotate stations. This allows you to alch while moving between deposit boxes.
The Alchemy room has 5 items that rotate every 42.2 seconds. In a sample of 212, 42.2-second rotations, 72 of them had free items. We can assume that a free item will occur 1 out of 3 rotations. Considering that items can never be the same consecutive value, this means we can assume there is a chance of consuming no nature runes.
Things to note:

• Our goal is to alchemize the items that are 30 coins each
• Items rotate every 42.2 seconds
• Free items can appear in consecutive rotations
• An item will never be the same value after a rotation
• Alchemy takes 5 ticks, or 3 seconds to cast
• We're going to assume at peak efficiency, you'll get 10 alchs in per rotation, or 15 alchs per minute
• 100 coins are equal to 1 point

​
Alchemy Room Calculations
Average Nature Runes Saved from Free Items
= (Chance of free item) * (Chance of 30 coins item, non-repeating)
=(1/3) * (1 - ~.8438)
= (1/3) * (~.1562)
= 5.21% Natures Runes Saved per Alch
Alchemy Room - Points Per Hour
= ((Alchs Per Minute) * (60 minutes) * (30 coins)) / (100 coins per point)
= (900 Alchs per Hour) * (30 coins) / (100 coins per point)
= (27000 coins) /100
= 270 Alchemy Room Points Per Hour
Alchemy Room - Average Nature Runes Consumed per Point
= (Nature Rune Consumption Chance) * (100 coins per point) / (Coins Per Alch)
= (1.00 - .0521) * 100 / (30)
= 3.16 Nature Runes per Point (Average)
Alchemy Room - Max Nature Runes Consumed Per Point
= (100 coins per point) / (30 Coins Per Alch)
= 3.33 Nature Runes per Point (Max)
Alchemy Room - XP Per Point
= (Bonus XP per Coin) *(100 coins per point) +(100 coins per point) / (30 coins per Alch) * (High Alch XP)
= 2*100+ 3.33 * 65
= 416.67 XP per Alchemy Point
​

The Telekinetic Room

The telekinetic room has great documentation already. I'll be citing a few references from the Wiki: https://oldschool.runescape.wiki/w/Mage_Training_Arena/Telekinetic_Theatre.
Things to note:

• There are 10 mazes in total.
• The average number of casts of telekinetic grab for all mazes is 8.3.
• You gain 10 law runes after completing 5 mazes.
• The average time to complete each maze is 59.4 seconds.
  • We can assume maximum efficiency adds an additional 10 seconds for loading.
• Time calculations factor in not needing run energy, assuming the use of stamina potions.
• The longest maze is 76 seconds.
• The largest number of telegrabs needed is 10 per maze.
• You gain 2 points per maze, and 8 points upon completion of 5.
  • This makes the average points per maze 3.6.

Telekinetic Room Calculations
Telekinetic Room - Average Law Runes Saved
= 10 / (Average Law Runes Consumed) *5
= 10 / (8.3*5)
= 24.10% Law Runes Saved (Average)
Telekinetic Room - Lowest Law Runes Saved
= 10 / (Average Law Runes Consumed) *5
= 10 / (10*5)
= 20.00% Law Runes Saved (Lowest)
Telekinetic Room - Average Points Per Hour
= (Mazes Completed Per Hour)* (Points Per Maze)
= (60*(60/69.4)) * 3.6
= 186.74 Telekinetic Room Points Per Hour (Average)
Telekinetic Room - Lowest Points Per Hour
= (Mazes Completed Per Hour)* (Points Per Maze)
= (60*(60/86)) * 3.6
= 150.70 Telekinetic Room Points Per Hour (Lowest)
Telekinetic Room - Average Law Runes Consumed per Point
= ((Average Law Runes Per Maze) * (Average Law Runes Used)) / (Points Per Maze)
= (8.3 * (1 - .241) / 3.6
= 1.75 Law Runes Per Point (Average)
Telekinetic Room - Max Law Runes Consumed per Point
= ((Max Law Runes Per Maze) * (Max Law Runes Used)) / (Points Per Maze)
= (10 * (1 - .20)) / 3.6
= 2.22 Law Runes Per Point (Max)
Alchemy Room - XP Per Point (Average)
= (Average Law Runes Per Point)*(Telekinetic Grab XP) + (Bonus XP for maze completions)/(5 Maze Completions * Average Casts Per Maze)
= (1.75 * 43) + (1000)/(5 * 8.3)
= 99.35 XP Per Telekinetic Point (Average)
Alchemy Room - XP Per Point (Lowest)
= (Max Law Runes Per Point)*(Telekinetic Grab XP) + (Bonus XP for maze completions)/(5 Maze Completions * Max Casts Per Maze)
= (2.22* 43) + (1000)/(5 * 10)
= 115.46 XP Per Telekinetic Point (Max)

The Graveyard Room

The Graveyard Room is a very straightforward room. You collect bones, fill your inventory 20 spaces, and cast bones to bananas. If you're low on health, you cast bones to peaches. If you're interested in more around the strategy, see u/Carnacra's post.
Things to note:

• You get 1 point per 16 fruits deposited.
• We'll assume that it takes 20 ticks (12 seconds) to both collect and deposit fruits.
• Bananas or peaches both count as 1 fruit, therefore it's better to deposit more bananas.
• Peaches help heal you when low on health, but the spell should be used sparingly.
• You can cast on more fruits than the meta of 20, but we'll be calculating off of 20 slots.
• You take 2 damage every 10 ticks, or 6 seconds.
• We'll make an assumption that a player has 60 health.
  • This player will ideally heal once they've hit 20 health.
  • We'll estimate it takes 20 ticks (12 seconds) to heal up, which is the equivalence of 48 health.
  • The player will be taking damage while eating, equal to 4 health.
• You will receive 1 Water, Earth, Nature, Death or Blood rune per 16 points.
• You gain 25 bonus XP per deposit, whenever you receive points.
  • This means receiving 2 points will not net 50 bonus XP, just 25.

Graveyard Room Calculations
Graveyard Room - Peaches Consumed Per Hour
= ((Seconds/Hour) / (Time to 40 Health in Seconds + Time to Eat in Seconds)) * (Peaches Eaten per cast)
= (Number of Peach Casts per Hour) * (Peaches Eaten Per Cast)
= (3600 / (120 + 12)) * 6
= 27.2727 * 6
= 164 Peaches Consumed Per Hour
Graveyard Room - Casts per Hour
=((Seconds/Hour) /(Time to Deposit)) - (Peach Casts))
= (3600/12 - 27.2727)
= 272.73 Bone Casts Per Hour (27.27 Peach Casts, 245.56 Banana Casts)
Graveyard Room - Fruit Deposited Per Hour
= (Bone Casts Per Hour) * 20 - (Peaches Consumed)
= (Fruit Created) - (Peaches Consumed)
= (3600/12 - 27.2727) * 20 - 164
= (300 - 27.2727) * 20 - 164
= 5,291 Fruits Deposited Per Hour
Graveyard Room - Points Per Hour
= (Fruits Deposited Per Hour) / 60
= 330.69 Graveyard Points Per Hour
Graveyard Room - Points Per Cast
= (1/16) \ (Fruits Deposited Per Hour) / (Bone Casts Per Hour)*
= (1/16) * (5291/272.73 + 27.27)
= 1.21 Points Per Cast
Graveyard Room - Nature Runes Saved Per Cast
= (Chance of Nature Rune Reward) * (Total Casts/ (All Casts Per Hour+Peach Casts) * Points Per Cast
= .20 * (272.73/300) * 1.21
= 22.00% Nature Runes Saved
Graveyard Room - Nature Runes Per Point
= (1 - Nature Runes Saved) * (Points Per Cast)
= .78 * 1.21
= .94 Average Nature Runes Per Graveyard Point
Graveyard Room - XP Per Graveyard Point
= (((Peach Casts * (Peach XP)+ Banana Casts * (Banana XP))/(Total Casts))+ (Deposit Bonus XP))/(Points Per Cast)
= (((27.27* 35.5) + (25 * 272.73))/300)+ 25)/(1.21)
= 42.11 XP Per Graveyard Point

The Enchanter's Room

The Enchanter's Room is arguably the easiest. The meta here has changed. While dragonstones do provide more points per enchant, they actually damage how efficiently you get points. The best method is to go to a corner with 2 shapes, and split your inventory in half. For the calculations below, we're going to use Lvl-1 Enchant (that way multipliers can be applied for magic level).
Things to Note:

• You gain 1 point per level of enchantment cast.
  • This means casting Lvl-4 Enchant is 4 points, wheras Lvl-6 Enchant is 6 points.
  • We'll assume you won't ever cast a Lvl-7 Enchant, as they're incredibly expensive.
• There are 4 shapes, excluding Dragonstones.
• Picking up Dragonstones can net 14 points per enchant, but they take a long time to spawn.
• You will ideally have 25 inventory spaces free per inventory.
  • You'll have 12 of 1 shape, and 13 of another.
  • This realistically makes your chance of enchanting the bonus shape 50%.
  • If you enchant the bonus shape, you gain an additional 2 points per enchantment.
• It takes 1 tick (.6 seconds) to pick up a shape, or 15 seconds for a full inventory.
• If not auto-casting, you will enchant one shape every 3 ticks (1.8 seconds).
  • If auto-casting, you'll enchant one shape every 7 ticks (4.2 seconds).
• We'll assume you'll add 8 seconds per inventory from moving between deposits and piles.
• Every tenth shape is worth double points.
  • This effectively makes a point multiplier of 1.1
• For every 20 shapes deposited, you'll gain 3 cosmic, death, or blood runes.

Enchanter Room Calculations
Enchanter Room - Cosmic Runes Saved Per Cast
= 3 * (Chance of Cosmic Runes) / (Shapes Required for Reward)
= 3 * (1/3) / 20
= 5.00% of Cosmic Runes Saved
Enchanter Room - Casts per Hour (No Auto-Cast)
= (Seconds/Hour) / (Time to Collect Shapes + Time to Cast + Movement Time)
= 3600 / (.6 + 1.8 + (8/25))
= 3600 / 2.72
= 1323.53 Casts Per Hour (No Auto-Cast), 703.13 Casts Per Hour (Auto-Cast)
Enchanter Room - Points per Cast at Lvl-1 Enchant
= (Tenth Shape Bonus Multiplier)*((Enchant Level) + (Chance of Bonus Shape * 2))
= 1.1 * (1+1)
= 2.2 Points Per Cast (Lvl-1 Enchant) [or Enchant Level * 1.1 + 1.1 Per Cast]
Enchanter Room - Points per Hour (No Auto-Cast)
= (Casts Per Hour) * (Points per Cast)
= 1323.53 * (1.1*1 + (1/2) * 2)
= 2,779.41 Enchant Points Per Hour At Lvl-1 Enchant (No Auto-Cast), 1476.57 (Auto-Cast)
= 10,191.18 Enchant Points Per Hour at Lvl-6 Enchant (No Auto-Cast), 5,414.10 (Auto-Cast)
Enchanter Room - Cosmic Runes Per Point
= (Chance of Cosmic Rune Consumed) / (Points Per Cast Formula)
= (1 - .05) / (1.1 + 1.1)
= .43 Cosmic Runes Per Point At Lvl-1 Enchant
= .12 Cosmic Runes Per Point at Lvl-6 Enchant
Enchanter Room - XP Per Enchantment Point
= (Enchant XP) / (Points Per Cast)
= 17.5 / 2.2
= 7.95 XP Per Enchantment Point At Lvl-1 Enchant, 12.60 XP Per Enchant Point at Lvl-6 Enchant
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Summary

There are probably more calculations that can be done here, but I wanted to help create something substantive that could help others. Hope this helps, and feedback is always welcome!
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EDIT: I fudged Graveyard XP. You get 25 XP when points are received, regardless of being 1 or 2 points. These numbers now reflect.