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Why did the garbagemen start coming in the dead of night?

I've been losing an average of 30 minutes of sleep every night for the past 10 days.
Now I’m down to a paltry 4 hours and 30 minutes, my walls are beginning to shift and my vision is blurring.
I have to focus. I NEED to focus.
Someone out there has to know.
Does anyone know why the garbage collectors have switched to the night shift?
Even asking it sends shivers down my spine. It’s late and soon I will hear them turn up to collect. I can’t sleep upstairs anymore, not where they can see me.
Now I sleep in the living room with my gun propped up against my shoulder, the weight a stern reminder that I am present.
I am awake.
I am a threat to them.
They won’t try anything if I’m a threat to them, right?
Fuck, I’m sorry. Let me explain.
My name is Tyson. I’m a farmer with a thriving family, a loving wife and two bright young boys. We live in a very remote area that requires a significant amount of divergence for basic services. I won’t say where, I won’t risk my family or my business, especially knowing what kind of armchair detectives there are out there. I respect what you all do and fear you in equal measure. So I’d rather throw you a bone you can thoroughly chew on as opposed to delving into mine and my famili’s personal info.
What I can tell you is this patch of land has been in my family for six generations, was not acquired illegally, built on sacred land, and to the best of my knowledge has NEVER had a violent occurrence or bloodshed.
We’re normal, hardworking folks who have always tried to do right.
Which makes what is going on here all the more difficult to understand, to quantify and reason with when the basic logic gives way.
I hear you, you’re undoubtedly scratching your heads and asking “why are garbage collectors such an issue?” and I don’t blame you. I’ll get to that.
Something shifted by the gates. No sound, can’t be the garbagemen, you hear them a mile off.
They’re not subtle about making their presence known.
The first night they turned up was so startling that I honest to god thought we were being robbed by the most unprofessional thieves this part of the world had ever birthed. Rambunctious, loud and borderline jovial in their candour.
It was always the same. Each and every time.
The sounds of the huge mechanical vehicle roaring as it drove up my dirt road, crushing twigs and kicking up dirt as it ground to a stop by the gates some 50ft from my front door.
Two thuds, boots hitting the ground, stumbling over to the main gate where our trash was left for the garbagemen on a Tuesday. Usually a couple of surly men got out, grunted, and hauled ass out of the area as soon as possible.
These two? Couldn’t have been happier to be there from the sounds of things. Young men, the smiles almost visible in their tone;
“This the one, Bill? Looks ready to me!”
“I reckon it is, Jeff! Let’s get ‘er done!”
A laugh, a high five, the sounds of something being dragged and thrown into the truck before they’d back out of the driveway and go off into the night.
Unusual, right? My wife & kids certainly thought so, especially when the trash was still there the next morning.
“Maybe they were some weird kids pulling a prank?” My wife Lucy remarked, taking a sip from her coffee and glancing nervously at the window. I think she was saying it more for our boys benefit than our own. I nodded and ushered them away from the windows, told them to go play.
The next night, it happened again. No specific time so much as that dead of night period between 1am and 3am when the world falls totally silent around you. None of our animals made a peep during that time frame, nor did we dare to.
Because when we heard them roll up again, we were paralysed with fear.
It took a few minutes to realise it, but when I looked to my wife and she returned my fearful glance with a wide-eyed stare and a nod, we scooped up the boys and huddled in our bed.
The exact same sounds. The exact same timed footsteps. The exact same conversation.
We heard them drag something wet into the truck before leaving after maybe 15 minutes. My younger boy Jace was always anxious and hearing this uncanny valley shit at his age sent him into a panic attack. We spent the remaining time soothing him while my older son Travis took to peering through the window with me.
Our pig pen that lay some 40ft to the right of the house had the door ripped off the hinges and a blood trail leading from the entrance all the way to the farm gates where the garbagemen had been.
When we mustered up the courage to inspect further, the pigs were silent, unmoving and staring at the long dirt road that lead away from the home, the tall trees that littered our farm looming overhead as if to silence them from telling what they’d seen.
We tried calling the city council to complain, but they were as perplexed as we were, said trash pickup day was still Tuesday and that since it was only Sunday, we weren’t due. They advised we filed a complain with the police for trespassers, but that yielded absolutely nothing.
In the meantime, things escalated.
Night 3 brought us the same routine, same sounds. Even after we’d taken to putting a lock on the pig pen, they still took one. This time making sure to leave a small pile of viscera behind, perhaps as a warning.
We elected to putting the animals in the barn and dead bolting it, hoping the pranksters would get the message and perhaps get bored. I’d ordered a cctv camera but with my location being so out of the way, it was going to take time to arrive and I wasn’t about to stand in my window with a camera pointed out at some weirdos.
We didn’t consider the consequences of this defiance.
It was Night 5. The boys were sleeping in our room and like clockwork; they showed up and pulled me from what little sleep I was getting, my wife soon after. Silently, goosebumps raised on our skin and a chill in our bones, we strained our ears against the open window, hoping to hear their frustration and subsequent decision to leave.
The routine continued until “Jeff” spoke to “Bill”.
The moment they opened their mouths, I knew something was horribly wrong.
“This the one, Bill? Looks locked to me!”
“I reckon it is, Jeff… Let’s pay ’em a visit.”
They rattled our front door knob and politely knocked at the door. Five rhythmic knocks, five seconds of silence, five more aggressive knocks.
I bolted downstairs and grabbed my rifle, keeping the lights off but my aim focused on them. Adrenaline pushing fear aside, if only to defend my family.
“I don’t know who the fuck you are, but you’ve been coming onto my property unannounced and I ain’t standing for it no more.” I pulled back on the bolt and the sound filled the room.
“You got three seconds to turn on your heel, or I’m firing!”
My eyes adjusted to the front door and in the darkness, two shapes stood behind my door, shrouded by the shadow of the night. They were tall, thin legs and bizarre movements… like they were swaying in place.
Those three seconds felt like an eternity.
“ONE!”
The shadow to the front leaned forward, trying to press its face against the glass. Something was wrong.
“TWO!”
It moved away and tapped the letterbox, testing if it opened up. When it did, it held it open and spoke as the second shadow stepped closer.
Three never came. Instead I backed away out of terror and barricaded our room, unable to speak.
It repeated my last words back at me. Exact same pitch. Exact same tone. But something was… off about it. Like hearing your own voice played back through old speakers, you sense an eeriness to it.
As i’d instinctively taken steps back, however, the other one spoke. This was the first Time either said anything that didn’t repeat and I swear to god it makes my heart pound in my throat just typing it.
“We have come to collect. Come outside.”
My legs carried my body before I could register what was going on. Rushing to the bedroom and locking it, I pulled my family in close and held my head down to theirs, desperate to block out whatever ungodly sounds erupted from our front door.
It took a half hour before they gave up, assumed their usual routine and left, the sound of the tires speeding off up the road bringing some degree of relief.
Until the following morning when our nearest neighbours, The Gundersons, reported a break in at their farm some 5 miles up the road. The perpetrators had smashed through the gate, entered the barn and done such violent acts to their cattle that of the ten that had been attacked and mutilated, only two survived and were immediately put out of their misery by the patriarch, Ted.
“You’ve been havin’ problems with these sons of bitches too, Ty?” He bellowed down the phone once I began retelling our sleepless events. “Shit, you sound like hell and probably look worse than the cows at this point. I ain’t havin’ it. You got a young family to support and when they hurt one of us, they hurt all of us. Tonight we put an end to it, ya hear?”
I nodded, agreeing to stake out our property that night and do whatever needed to be done. Hands still shaking, I grabbed a stiff drink from the cabinet. Never been much of a drinker, most of this was my dads for the tougher times. But if times weren’t tough now, I don’t know when the fuck they would be.
Ted rolls up around 11pm, wife and kids are asleep and we shoot the shit in the living room for a while, mainly discussing how the harvest had gone and what we could do to protect our livelihoods in this day and age. The conversation petered off as they often do when a night draws on, but it was as we fell silent that the realisation swept over us;
We were going to confront these people tonight.
I gripped my gun a little tighter as Ted gave me an assuring nod, peeking out the window for any signs of the garbagemen.
“Son of a… my farm!” He bellowed, springing to his feet and bursting out the door before I could get a word in edgeways.
He was halfway down the road before I could ask him what the fuck he was doing. He turned, his eyes wild with fear and rage, pointing a shaking finger to the small shape that was his house far across the hill.
It was on fire. Large pillars of smoke billowing forth as the fire danced in the light, illuminating the surrounding fields.
“I can’t sit here while my farm… my livelihood burns away, Ty. If those bastards are behind this… well, you can’t bet your ass they won’t last the night when I’m through with ‘em! I’ll teach ‘em a fuckin’ lesson about the value of things… the things people throw away.” He turned on his heel and ran to his truck, speeding off before anything more could be said.
This would be the only night the garbagemen don’t pay us a visit. I get a bit of extra sleep, but my wife doesn’t. She just stares out the window at the Gunderson farm in the distance and shakes her head.
She knows how there will be no help on the horizon.
She knows how close we are to that fate.
And seeing that scares me to death.
-
The 8th night. They arrive with no vehicle sounds, no grand build up to the crescendo of their routine. They whistle softly as if calling an animal, patient in their call as they scrape something around in the dirt.
I’m crippled by fear and cannot dream facing them, I look around in the dark and see Lucy is still asleep, Travis is snoring in the corner… but Jace… Jace is wide awake and transfixed.
And staring at the window overlooking our driveway, reaching out to open it.
I leap out of bed and just about tackle him away, the shock of waking up to such a violent affair sending him into a panic attack as the entire family snaps awake in a frenzy, shouting over one another as he cries uncontrollably.
“This has got to stop, Tyson. We can’t do this anymore… We can’t live like this…” Lucy was exhausted, her eyes barely open and her teeth chattering. In the moment of silence between us, the whistling started again, almost mocking in its tone if it weren’t for the sinister giggling behind it.
“SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE US ALONE!” She screamed, walking towards that same window. It took everything I had to hold her back as she fell to pieces in my arms, the entire family crippled by nerves and a lack of sleep.
It was only when one voice cut the air that the final nights events were set in motion.
“The things people throw away…”
Oh, fuck… Ted…
One look into my wife’s eyes and I knew what she was thinking. There was no stopping her.
She darted around, packing the kids’ clothes and any essentials she could find, ignoring the whistling outside and instructing our boys to focus on getting whatever they needed.
“You do what you need to do, I don’t care if the nearest town is a three-hour drive or I undergo the seven-hour drive to my moms. I will not stay another night in this fucking house. Not until they’re gone.” She was almost delirious, fuelled by fear and anger as she darted around like a hurricane, turning over tables to get what she needed as if prepping for a weather event. Within the half hour she’d been rushing around, the noises had faded and the outside once again fell silent.
I couldn’t leave the house. It’d been in our family's lineage for generations. We’d been born here, lived here and died here no matter what. As the head of the family, it was my job to stay here and protect it. Even if I couldn’t protect those that I loved most under its roof.
She waited another hour before getting in the car and leaving, kissing me with all the passion she’d had when we first met. I told Jace he had to be strong and that he’d one day conquer his fears because I believed in him. I told Travis that as the eldest; he needed to protect them like his life depended on it.
Then, just like that, I waved them goodbye and promised I’d join them at their mother in laws when this was over.
Now all that was left was to sharpen my resolve and find out what this was. I took the chance to try and get some sleep during the day, but no matter how hard I tried, it wouldn’t come to me. So, liquid courage it was.
One way or another, this was going to end.
-
Night 9. The penultimate night.
Not a sound. I mean that in the most literal sense. The wind didn’t move; the trees didn’t speak, not a single blade of grass danced and no dirt was kicked up.
Everything was silent. So silent. My own thoughts were amplified in this void of sound, every inane thought of what could happen flitted through my mind and forced me to double check every window and door. Triple check the locks, ensure no oversight was left.
Couldn’t let them get an opportunity. Even if it’s just me. I know they’re watching even now. If I didn’t know any better, I’d have said a shadow moved just behind the porch window. Can’t be sure, not without checking.
I think they were biding their time, keeping me on edge and making sure I *knew* they could step in whenever they wanted and do as they pleased.
But I kept my nerve, I resisted the urge to bolt to the truck. I’ve got my whiskey and I’ve got my gun.
I’ll see this through, even if it kills me.
-
Night 10. Now we’re all caught up.
I checked on the animals this morning. What was left was a pile of bones, flesh and waste. They’d been taken the night before and I don’t know how I didn’t hear during the silence. There was but one horse's body left, teeth marks riddled the torso, and the legs had been torn off.
Our crops had grown fetid, decayed and worn, nothing in our farm would yield a damn thing anymore.
My livelihood was decimated in front of my eyes.
Gone.
It’s late now, I’m sat in my armchair with the rifle loaded and ready. My hands are shaking and my knee won’t stop bouncing. I feel the dread start in my gut and worm its way through my chest before lodging in my throat and forcing every breath to be a labour of pain.
They came early tonight, truck roaring and routine sounds in full swing.
Only there weren’t two sets of thuds this time.
There were six.
They walked up to the porch, a shadow covering every facet of the window and the door panes. Not a spec of light coming through.
The voices don’t change their pattern, they never do.
“This the one, Bill? Looks ready to me!” They pound their fists against the window, a dull moan emanating from the background. Pained, muffled and growing in strength.
“I reckon it is, Jeff! Let’s get ‘er done!” Nails drag down the glass. A horrific groaning accompanying the repeated intonations of their godforsaken phrases.
“The things people throw away...” Ted… poor Ted smashing his head against the wall, repeating it with every sick swing.
It was only when I heard the fourth voice that I finally looked out the window, perhaps on instinct.
“Not until they’re gone.”
My Lucy. My sweet Lucy calling to me.
I can’t begin to tell you what I saw when I pulled back the curtains for just a split second, but every forbidden aspect of it is burned into my brain and it will not leave me even as I shut my eyes from the surrounding chorus of madness.
My kids… my fucking kids are now saying they’ve come to collect. That I must come outside. That whistle has come back, it’s… it’s almost soothing.
I can’t bear to do this on my own, I can’t live with that image in my fucking skull anymore. I miss my wife. I miss my kids. I miss sleeping soundly at night.
What if it is them out there? What if they’re really just wanting me to get help and my own sick mind has put me in such a state that I’m here, asking you for help on something that is, at its core, truly simple?
I’m going to put down the laptop and open the door. I have to know.
I have to.
Why did the garbagemen start coming in the dead of night?
Does anyone know?
submitted by tjaylea to nosleep [link] [comments]

20 Lessons from Elon Musk on How to Win

While some of these lessons might seem obvious, applying them to our lives on a consistent basis requires constant reminders and a lifetime of practice. Even Elon Musk probably breaks many of these rules himself. If we all adhered to the following 20 best practices on a regular basis, we'd possibly all be 10x more successful than wherever it is we are...
  1. Listen carefully to the critics to hear what they have to say, but don’t always think that they happen to be right! Musk: “When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars, people said, ‘Nah, what’s wrong with a horse?’ That was a huge bet he made, and it worked.”
  2. Don’t continue doubling down on a solution that isn’t working. The definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Musk: “Don’t delude yourself into thinking something’s working when it’s not, or you’re gonna get fixated on a bad solution.”
  3. Make sure you’re surrounded by people you enjoy being with…of course, if it is within your control. If the workplace becomes toxic, leave it. Or try to work with others on the team to develop a more pleasant work environment Musk: “It’s very important to like the people you work with, otherwise life [and] your job is gonna be quite miserable.”
  4. Learn from the successes and failures of others. Musk: “You have to say, ‘Well, why did it succeed where others did not?”
  5. Think about solutions that are 10x better than anything else out there. A slight improvement is not good enough to achieve rapid adoption and behavior change. Musk: “You shouldn’t do things differently just because they’re different. They need to be… better.”
  6. Think about all the pieces of the puzzle and focus on each of the individual puzzle pieces without neglecting the others. This is an ongoing effort of personal tug of war between various priorities and your time. Never forget that time is your most valuable asset. Musk: “If you’re trying to create a company, it’s like baking a cake. You have to have all the ingredients in the right proportion.”
  7. Build the right team or join the right team; it’s often much more important to achieving success than the product itself. Musk: “Starting and growing a business is as much about the innovation, drive, and determination of the people behind it as the product they sell.”
  8. Ignore the resume. Think about a teammate’s character as much, if not more, than their specific technical skills. Musk: “My biggest mistake is probably weighing too much on someone’s talent and not [enough on] someone’s personality. I think it matters [a lot] whether someone has a good heart.”
  9. Be a good person; whether you think you’re an example or not, you are, particularly in a work environment. Many people watch and observe your behavior, even if you’re not Elon Musk. Be a shining example to your teammates and colleagues by following the simple Golden Rule of doing to others what you would want done to you. Integrity matters. Musk: “We have a strict ‘no-assholes policy’ at SpaceX.”
  10. Learn how to tolerate pain. A lot of pain. The short and medium-term horizons are often loaded with obstacles and landmines. Beware of them, and attempt to step around or disarm the landmines wherever possible. If your leg is blown off, figuratively speaking, of course, realize that you’re still alive and continue moving forward. Learn, iterate, and do better the next time in avoiding those landmines or disarming them altogether. Musk: “Being an entrepreneur is like eating glass and staring into the abyss of death.”
  11. Pursue what makes you happy, not only in work, but outside work. Try new hobbies. Join new meetup groups. Try learning a new skill. Start a side-hustle project that you’re passionate about that could someday become a great company. Musk: “People should pursue what they’re passionate about. That will make them happier than pretty much anything else.”
  12. After carefully planning a course of action and deciding that you’re going to do something, go all-in. Pour 110% of your energy into achieving the carefully thought-out objective. Musk: “What makes innovative thinking happen?… I think it’s really a mindset. You have to decide.”
  13. If you believe strongly enough in something, pursue it. If things don’t work out initially (as they seldom do), don’t abandon too quickly. See point # 19 below. Musk: “When something is important enough, you do it even if the odds are not in your favor.”
  14. Try to think positive, even when things are down and remind yourself of the old proverb: “this too shall pass.” It’s often in pits of darkness that we can see light at the end of the tunnel. Musk: “If you get up in the morning and think the future is going to be better, it is a bright day. Otherwise, it’s not.”
  15. Listen to criticism. Ask for feedback, including negative feedback. Absorb it. Learn from it. Apply criticism that is relevant and discard the balance. Musk: “Really pay attention to negative feedback and solicit it, particularly from friends. … Hardly anyone does that, and it’s incredibly helpful.”
  16. Get stuff done that will have a lasting impact on your community, environment and the world (ie no chasing quick $). Do it specifically to make a difference in the lives of those around you and the reward will be significant and generous in overall well-being, and might even bring financial success (which is only one small component of overall success in life). Musk: “I don’t create companies for the sake of creating companies, but to get things done.”
  17. Do not spend your entire life thinking about ways things can fail. Get out there and do it. If it doesn’t work, iterate, and then try again. Iterate again. And again. Most people spend their days optimizing for every possible downside scenario. This obsessive down-size planning ties up mental resources to think creatively and outside of the box to get it done. You should of course analyze the problem or deal at hand and solicit input from others on downside scenarios. Don’t let perfection stand in the way of bringing something good to market. You can always make it better over time. A corollary to this rule for entrepreneurs is to make the product or idea real and tangible as fast as possible. This will help in the feedback loop process discussed in rule #15 earlier and #18 below. Musk: “There’s a tremendous bias against taking risks. Everyone is [always/frequently] trying to optimize their ass-covering.”
  18. Develop a core group of advisors who will serve as a key part of your constant feedback loop (along with critics – Rule #15 – and initial customers – Rule #17). This core group of trusted advisors could be close friends, family members or even members of your community who know you well enough to offer meaningful advice. Reach out to these advisors often and consistently. Musk: “I think it’s very important to have a feedback loop, where you’re constantly thinking about what you’ve done and how you could be doing it better.”
  19. Have grit. Do not give up. Most importantly, have patience. It’s one of the hardest lessons of an entrepreneur since entrepreneurs often want results quickly. Musk: “Persistence is very important. You should not give up unless you are forced to give up.”
  20. Embrace change. Getting cozy and comfortable is easy. Sometimes it’s the right thing to do. But oftentimes, refusing to accept the inevitable change will stunt your own growth and path in life, whether in the personal or professional domain, and prevent you from achieving lasting success. Musk: “Some people don’t like change, but you need to embrace change [especially] if the alternative is [a] disaster.”
submitted by henry_gindt to Entrepreneur [link] [comments]

GME Gang: On the Subject of the Golden Bridge and Its Inevitable Destruction By Fire 🚀🚀🚀

Build your opponent a golden bridge to retreat across.
Sun Tzu, Art of War
Everything was for tomorrow, but tomorrow never came. The present was only a bridge and on this bridge they are still groaning, as the world groans, and not one idiot ever thinks of blowing up the bridge.
Henry Miller, Tropic of Capricorn
I was wrong! Blow the bridge! Blow the fucking bridge!
Tugg Speedman, Tropic Thunder
Hello again GME Gang! It’s been a while since I last ranted at you, but I know we’ve been in some very good hands here at WSB with all the great DD folks have posted over the past few weeks. So no need for CPT Hubbard to go for 11 again on the Thumbscroll Dial (until today, that is). I’ve enjoyed a lot of these posts very much, so thank you on behalf of myself and the attention-deficient Rocket Children for continuing to deliver that 100% Chaff-Free GME-grade Wheat at such a feverish clip.
Now, I am going to get to Hong Kong’s Lamest Outlaw and his disconcertingly vacant eyes here shortly. But first I want to take you on a journey back to Christmas Eve, in the year of our lord 2020—a heady time in all our lives. We were all so young and innocent then, weren’t we? Fresh off the run up to 22. Blissfully oblivious that we were living in the last moments where the question What is The War of 1812? was the only acceptable Jeopardy question for the answer: The Last Time the Goddamn U.S. Capitol Was Stormed. This was also before we all became irresponsibly overleveraged in Cathie Wood’s Ornamental Gourds ETF. It was a wondrous, confusing time.
But before we get too off topic, let’s all hop in my 1985 DeLorean (purchased with proceeds from my Jan 15 calls – thanks RC!), fire up the ol’ Flux Capacitor, and get that shit to 88 because something happened that evening that is Worth Pondering—particularly in light of recent events. And just as a friendly reminder: even though you’re going back in time in a DeLorean, no one here has to deviate funds away from GME shares to Save the Clock Tower and you are under no obligation to fulfill a scenario where you wind up making out with your Mom (unless your Mom is Cathie Wood like mine—in which case maybe just some quick over-the-clothes stuff).
On the Subject of How It Once ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas
So what in the holy fuck happened on the night before Christmas, Captain? Well, while all you Gentiles were sleeping soundly after lying to your children about benign home intruders and before gorging yourself on the teat of late-stage capitalism, me and the rest of the Chosen People were up late eating Chinese food and thinking about tendies (self-hating Jew Joke! Ba-zing!). But then: when out on the electric twitter machine there arose such a clatter, I sprang to my phone to see what was the matter. And what to my wondering eyes did appear, a mysterious tweet from a Rich-Ass Viking who had a lot of fucking interesting things to say about this whole GME situation that’s what.
This tweet, buried as a reply to a tweet sent by Mr. Rod Alzmann (@RodAlzmann or u/Uberkikz11), simply said: “Merry Christmas. Shhh.” But it included this screen shot:
[**Image Deleted Due to the Mods - check the link below where someone transcribed it - I'll try to add later**]
Now, this tweet to Rod, sent late at night and likely after a strong Mead or three, was very promptly deleted. But your intrepid cub reporter saw this here tweet that night with his own two eyes—seeing as I am a degenerate GME addict and devoted follower of Mr. Rod Alzmann (Hi Rod!). And I took screenshots, of course, like any responsible records custodian might. And so did the dude who wrote a somewhat-overlooked WSB post on this, which included the most pertinent text of the message if you are having trouble reading it here:
https://www.reddit.com/wallstreetbets/comments/kk0omp/christmas_miracle_gamergate_2020_gme_shorts/
Now, what are we to make of this? At the time, I thought it was very interesting. But I did not give it too much attention seeing as how the internet is overcrowded with anonymous weirdos claiming to know more than they do about all sorts of subjects (and now I feel your judging eyes…). Also, there was some very good commentary in that WSB post from some sharp folks about the screenshot author’s questionable use of the shorthand PE/IB—given that private equity and investment banks wouldn’t apparently be involved in a behind-the-scenes transaction with the short funds like what was being discussed there (don’t ask me, I just string together silly words here). But maybe you poke around his Twitter a bit and see for yourself.
Still, plausibility assessments based on preferred nomenclature aside, it seemed to me that some version of that conversation had to be taking place behind the scenes in a situation like this—given the batshit insane short interest, the funds supposedly involved, and the rapid rise in SP coinciding with RC’s share accumulation, December 21st amended 13D filing, and new status as a GME Insider and Board member (just love saying all that in a row, don’t you?).
So the Viking’s screenshot tweet, and the very likely possibility that shorts are in so deep that they’re attempting to negotiate peace with large shareholders behind the scenes, stuck in my tiny little baby brain as a pretty plausible set of scenarios. And from the look of it, it seems like some funds were at least willing to discuss offering these shorts a Golden Bridge away from Certain Fucking Destruction on the open market. And if the words on the screenshot are at all aligned with reality, these short funds have no good options.
Yet it seems like they are still playing hardball to negotiate the carat on this generous bridge offer they’re getting. Why? Maybe they’ve been getting high on their own supply for so long and they don’t know how to see this situation for what it is. Who knows? Maybe there is no Ryan Cohen and we’re all living in a simulation. But if the recent low-rent anti-GME articles and market manipulation efforts we’re seeing are any indication, these overleveraged short fuckers seem to think they’re going to be able to spin out of this hold and drive the SP back down to even smaller peanuts than it’s at now by sheer force of will (and some deployment of well-honed tricks of the trade amirite?) to emerge unscathed. Or even victorious? I dunno—it’s their delusional fantasy sequence.
But do you know what this scenario reminds me of? And this is just coming to me so please bear with me as I’m not showing this to my editor before we print (I haven’t seen this movie in ages – don’t know what made me think of this!). Fuck it, I’m just gonna start riffing here. The shorts trying to thread this needle, against all odds and logic and common sense, reminds me of that hilarious scene in Dumb and Dumber where haplessly delusional Jim Carrey thinks he has a chance with Mary Samsonite Swanson. But the scene is funny because he really doesn’t. Have any chance. At all.
Now, I know this is a 1990s movie originally released on VHS that we haven’t seen it or even seen it referenced in ages. But now that you’re thinking of it again after all this time, doesn’t it remind you of this too? I know, I get it: You’d have to have fucking peanuts for brains for it not to.
(https://twitter.com/ryancohen/status/1350877969816956934?s=20)
On the Subject of the Continued Internet Bumbling of Mr. Justin Dopierala
Now that screenshot came to mind this past week when something kind of weird happened while we were all enjoying our quick rocket ship ride. And yes, we are briefly going to talk again about Seeking Alpha’s second finest pro-GME author (always been more of a Dmitriy man myself) and recurring CPT Hubbard character, Justin Dopierala (and no, Angela, I do not want to have like 10,000 of his babies).
Last Thursday, after we were all virtually high-fiving one another and counting our future Lambos, Mr. Justin Dopierala, head of Domo Capital and longstanding uber-bull GME shareholder and author at Seeking Alpha (last seen arguing pithily with our own Rod Alzmann about the conservative nature of Rod’s holiday earnings projections. Hi again Rod!), made it known that he sold all of Domo Capital’s 500,000 shares for around $42.50—at the very top of the run up last Thursday morning.
Now, Domo Capital’s business decisions are none of my goddamn business. And there are plenty of market opportunities right now. Shit, I hear there is even a new Cathie Wood Gourd ETF coming online soon that people are really excited about and that I’m sure Justin’s clients would find intriguing. But Domo’s decision to sell seemed curious given a few things: (1) on Wednesday, when the rocket is mid-flight, he got a twitter follow from Gabe Plotkin, head of Melvin Capital, which he promptly tweeted about with a “get a load of this fuckin’ guy” vibe (oh the sweet, intoxicating arrogance of tendie victory, I too love it so); (2) he had also tweeted that day comparing GME’s rise to Apron’s short squeeze that lasted 4 days—where he also stressed to his followers that Apron had a much lower SI than GME; and (3) he then promptly deleted all of these tweets and almost everything else GME-related on Thursday after apparently introducing 500,000 shares of liquidity into the height of a stressed market up and through the Thursday reversal and down into his own personal tendie town.
Now, after seeing all this, I mouthed off a bit to Justin on the electric twitter machine because that’s kind of my thing. And if you are familiar with my prior ramblings, you know that he and I go way back. In response, Justin talked a bit of shit about your intrepid cub reporter here in a comment on Dimitry Kozin’s October 21, 2020 article about a possible sony revenue share deal or something, the comment section of which has become the preferred SA water cooler over there. (And I can’t link that because Thems The Rulez). And Justin hurt my little feelings a bit with his very sharp denial. And by all means have at it over there to check out his comment about why he sold if you give a shit. That is if Justin hasn’t deleted it yet. Free country and all.
But to summarize, on the subject of treacherous coordination with Melvin Capital, Justin said he would not could not in a boat and he would not could not with a goat. And I for one believe him. And do you know why? Because even though Justin seems like a very smart guy in some ways, he’s also a well-known internet bumbler who blurts out things to his internet friends that a person with better self-control would keep to themselves. And so I do not think he is capable of pulling that off or keeping a secret like that. Also: he said he didn’t so I am more than willing to give someone the benefit of any doubt in that area and you should too. I think we keep Hanlon’s razor firmly in mind here about never attributing to malice that which is explained by stupidity. That is unless, of course, you’re Andrew Left and you’re actually trying to convince people that you didn’t realize there was a US presidential inauguration planned for the same time you announced your Super Important TeeVee Yammerfest ‘21 about GME not being a good candidate for an imminent short squeeze no way no how not if my name isn’t Andrew Left short seller expert extraordinaire and Hong Kong’s Most Misunderstood Ethically-Minded Businessman. You can ascribe the fuck out of malice to that one.
No, even though I really have no idea, I think the most likely thing that happened there was that Gabe Plotkin, Master of the Universe, Head of Melvin Capital, and Acolyte of Perennial Most Ethical Business Man MVP candidate, Steven Cohen—got into Justin’s head when Plotkin followed him on twitter during the 57% (at one point 94%) day last Wednesday and then Justin got a bit chippy about it.
And this is the real reason I’m bringing this up.
Because I honestly care very little about the Nervous Investing Habits of the Wisconsin hedge fund voted most likely to prompt a Mr. Roboto reference. No: I think that Gabe Plotkin sent a message with that follow. Without even ever having to say it directly. And I think that after GME’s huge run and getting a little overexcited while working the twitter machine, Justin maybe had a chance to relax with a warm glass of milk that night and reflect on that message. Which I believe was: I’m watching you, motherfucker. And the only reason I’m paying any attention to some shitstain Wisconsin pseudo-fund on a day like today when I am getting my ass fucking torched is because I want you to know that if this GME shit blows up on me, I’m going to fuck your ass up. I will remember the name Domo Capital forevermore. And when you least expect me, I’ll be there. Now: your move, motherfucker.
And once I realized what might have happened there, that made me feel kinda bad for Justin if he felt that way. Definitely a puss move because fuck you Plotkin I drink your fucking milkshake, right? But bad because that’s a mean message for a business colleague to send, Gabriel. Shame on you if that's how you roll like a big New York bully and scaring our poor Justin like that. And if you just wanted to follow him to shoot the shit or swap listicles and Star Wars Prequel memes with a respected contemporary—even in the very midst of getting fucking annihilated while short GME—well Justin has a totally different account for that and he’s not allowed to access it during work hours.
On The Likelihood That The Most Heavily Shorted Stock in History Is Not Being Subject to Continued Market Manipulation When A Steve Cohen Acolyte Is Losing His Fucking Shirt
Have you heard about Steve Fucking Cohen? The guy who looks like he’s tip top of the list of the premier Hollywood casting agency’s rolodex for Saddest Dipshit Still At the Strip Club After Everyone Else Has Already Gone Home? I’m sorry, that’s mean and my mother told me to always be kind to the truly hideous looking because they’re probably still beautiful on the inside (spoiler alert: he’s not!).
Get a load of this guy:
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2014-01-02/why-sac-capitals-steven-cohen-isnt-in-jail
https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/business/story/2020-09-02/controversial-hedge-fund-billionaire-steven-cohen-takes-on-hollywood
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/steven-a-cohen-among-the-million-dollar-donors-to-trump-inauguration-2017-04-19
https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2016/11/steve-cohen-trump
https://nypost.com/2015/06/17/billionaire-steve-cohen-bros-out-with-guy-fieri/
Are you back? I’ve missed you. That was scary, wasn’t it? But allow me to TL/DR all that for you who decided to avoid all that unpleasantness: the dude just has all this bad luck and keeps finding himself into these really awkward situations where someone could potentially question his commitment to ethical business and life practices as well as adherence to the laws of the United States and it’s just not fair and nothing’s fair and Nice Guy Steve Cohen Is The Victim Here So Just Stop Right There Mister I See What You’re Doing. He's also bros with Guy Fieri. Cool.
But why am I talking about a guy who would so clearly pass Billy Madison’s Final Question about Business Ethics without even breaking a sweat?
Because Steve Cohen once had a young Ace Protegee that he loved very much. With the name of an Archangel, so tender and pure. And one day this young man decided he wanted to Prove Himself and Leave Steve’s Nest. And thus was born Melvin Capital, seeded financially by Steve Cohen but named after famed Crooner Melvin H. Tormé, which Gabe’s esteemed mentor Steve would play in his office, over and over, all those years ago.
Now let’s fast forward a bit because I’m boring myself with all that fucking Cohen reading (the bad Cohen—don’t you dare get anyone confused here). As I was saying: Gabe Plotkin, head of Melvin Capital, has by all accounts gotten himself into a bit of a pickle here being so deeply short GME. Lots of people have analyzed and overanalyzed it, and I’m not going to do it again here; that dead horse is well and truly beaten. But to bottom line it: we’re all just staring down what is essentially an unprecedented math problem that will, at some point, resolve itself. And if it revolves itself in favor of the Good Guys, then the Bad Guys will lose a Fuck-ton of Money. That’s your money block quote, WSJ, so fuck off and stop calling me.
Now: picture yourself as a Steve Cohen acolyte that just bought a $44M Miami Compound and who cannot stop talking about how co-owning the Charlotte Hornets is worth it just for the courtsides alone bro once basketball is a thing again and so what if Michael Jordan keeps calling him Gary it’s close enough. Are you feeling the most financially secure that you have ever felt in your young rich life right about now? Or might you be a wee bit worried that you’ve pursued an investment thesis so reckless, so irrationally and intentionally destructive of equity, that even Melvin H. Tormé himself must be rolling in his fucking grave that you would ever dare put at risk your ability to continue being Michael Jordan’s Gary?
And so here is when I again link my good buddy Jim Cramer’s Great Unveiling of the Tactics Deployed by Short Sellers hoping to change the narrative and construct a “new truth” to suppress the SP in the face of, oh, let’s just say: a very promising turnaround story in a high-growth industry by an e-Commerce Canadian Genius who does not fuck around and who knows what he’s fucking doing and aims to sell more and better video games experiences to crackhead video gamers and there’s a million things he wants to do but just you wait, just you wait.
Is this plot that hard to follow?
And I’ll also say this: I know fuck-all about monitoring order flows or how funds continue to create synthetic shares to short shit into oblivion. But I’m just stepping back and thinking of the broader narrative and tactics on this. Spit-balling here again—bear with me. Now, if you were massively short a security while paying out your ass in borrowing fees for the privilege of entering the most crowded short trade in the market and you’re now opposite a massive business turnaround story, Ryan Cohen, numerous institutions, funds, retail whales, Norwegian HNW Freemason Consortiums, and the energy behind the Finest Rocket Children Ever to Grace Planet Fucking Earth—and you’re taking it in the ass week after week here—Do you then play this straight? Do you set aside all of these illegal and deceptive short tactics Jim Cramer candidly outlines in that video even though they’re impossible to enforce and are in fact not enforced? That Jim basically says you’d be professionally negligent if you were short and didn’t do this shit because fuck it whosgonnastopyou? And now you fucked up and that steamroller is barreling down upon you and there are all these things you could theoretically do try to get yourself out of this jam if you were That Kind of Person? Do you set this all aside and, at least in Jim’s view, tie one hand behind your precious ethical back? On the most heavily shorted stock off all time where you are bleeding Real Life Big-Boy Money? Just buying and selling you know, just a job, honest living, nothing much to it, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, can't get too carried away with it.
Or is it something a little bit fucking different than that?
I don’t know. I’m not in the industry myself. And I would never accuse anyone of doing anything so clearly contrary to the values upon which their professional career as Master of the Universe was built. So Gabe: chill. Don’t follow me or something on twitter man, since for all I know that’s Plotkinese for I Hope You Don’t Mind Sleeping With This Severed Horse Head in Your Bed Motherfucker. It’s just money, dude. You seem pretty well taken care of. But man would I be sweating if I were short right now staring down the barrel of your new neighbor Ryan Cohen’s whims and patience and polite Canadian manners and ambiguous emojis that we all lose our shit for. I mean, fuck man: are you ok? Don’t forget to exercise and eat well during all this. Maybe switch to green tea or something. And remember: you’ll always—always—be Michael Jordan’s Gary.
But here is where we return to our good friend Andrew Left from Citron Research.
Do you remember the excitement you felt this past weekend? I’ve never seen WSB so jacked. People were coming out hot on Tuesday—an uptick day! The new phone book’s here! The new phone book's here! What luck to be free of Gary’s tomfoolery for one fine day. And then GME spiked right away—reaching a high of over $45 that morning.
But then something happened. We all know what it was. But here is where any SEC lookie-loos need to close those Pornhub links and pay closer attention. Because in the moments before the Citron tweet that morning about Andy’s upcoming BuzzFeed Listicle call on Why GME is Scary Investment GRRRR, total short shares available dropped from 1.2M to 0. And a $300K put bet was placed on a weekly with a strike price well over 10% out of the money at the very moment that GME’s price was accelerating rapidly. (H/t u/FatAspirations). That’s some WSB-level shit right there.
And yet they pull it off! GME immediately shoots down nearly 30% intraday, and eventually climbing abck up above 10%, making us all feel a little weird and like ungrateful millennial brats for feeling so shitty about a 10% day. But we all know what fucking happened, now don’t we?
So what can we say about ol’ Andy? Now, many of you know Andy as the dumbshit who shorted TSLA until he was ground into little bits of dumb dumb dust and made to look ever so foolish over and over again until he finally cried drunk uncle and flipped to being long TSLA and now he’s cool to you or whatever. Or you might know him as the guy who puts out really shoddy research that often, by pure happenstance, drives a new narrative to control the orderflow and SP on a WSB-beloved security like PLTR? You know the guy I’m talking about. Once in hot pursuit by Hong Kong fuzz, an International Man of Obviousness with a face that says: why yes, I will have another vodka tonic thankyouverymuch. That’s him.
Well, just like future call-back candidate for the role of Frightened Inmate #2, Mr. Steve Cohen, Andy is also but a Caveman—frightened and confused by your modern concepts of “ethics” and “rules.” No! No!—He’s a straight shooter! Devoted to rooting out obvious frauds, like Lukin Coffee and TSLA (Do not fuck with Elon or my Hot Mom’s ETF, Andy). And like the aspirations of Antoine Bugle Boy when he entered the blue jeans market, Andy saw an overcrowded short trade here based on an overly simplistic and obsolete short thesis about GME and said: “Me Too!” And as this thing is ripping to the stratosphere, Andy starts ringing his dumb dumb twitter bell and saying hear ye, hear ye—Inauguration Day and time it shall be for all my Big Brain thoughts about GME!
Nothing weird about that. No sir.
So Andy Citron or whatever the fuck his name is will be putting out some dumbshit video or something today in what seems to be a pretty clear attempt to scare my poor Rocket Children and get those pesky computers to high frequency this shit to drive the SP down to more acceptable loss levels (cause let’s be honest: they’re still taking a fucking bath here) for Mel Tormé’s namesake hedgefund and all the other cretins that are dug into short position here. And they’re gonna try to scare ya’ with the color red! And they know that no one here likes the color red.
But do see what’s going on here and who we’re dealing with. This really ain’t rocket science, Rocket Children. The dude actually tried to claim he forgot about the Inauguration. In 2021. He has not been in a coma, to the best of my knowledge. But you do look a little bleary eyed, Andy. Must have been all that staying up super late working on those last few bullet points to fill out the powerpoint on that GME listicle of yours, eh sport?
Conclusion: On the Subject of Patience and The Arc of The Universe Bending Toward Ryan Fucking Cohen
In my youth there was a period of time where I went out on boats that would drop crates into the waters of the Arctic. Bundled inside them were raw pieces of meat. In the coming days the boats would head back out to the frigid seas, hook the floats bobbing upon the waters, and pull the crates up. Packed inside would be many crabs. They were so delicious & made a good price at market. The difference between the crate that was empty and the create full of bounty was a mystery even the great physicist Erwin Schrödinger pondered at much length.
But the hearty fishermen of my youth already knew the answer long ago. Why did the trap fill up? Time. In time, all traps fill. In time, all things pondered shall be revealed.
--The Fucking Viking, That’s Who
Now look, you all know I have a soft spot for Ryan Cohen. Hell, we all do. He’s a good dude. And the man has played this flawlessly so far. He really has. The fact that we are all sitting here with Ryan Cohen having successfully negotiated three seats on the Board—a bloodless coup as my man Rod Alzmann says—here in January? It’s amazing. His vision for GME is dialed-the-fuck in and extremely exciting. This misunderstood business is on the threshold of an exciting turnaround with Ryan Cohen at the helm. And though I was very much looking forward to the potential repercussions of a vote being called at the annual meeting and what that might mean for the short-term share price, this result is infinitely better. Whatever their motivations, that Board and George Sherman saw the writing on the wall here and accepted the Golden Bridge that Ryan offered them. And Ryan Cohen has done everything he’s set out to do here. And he’s clearly been having fun while doing it. Read up on the guy at some point if you haven’t–there’s lots of good DD out there on him, obviously. And while you’re reading and thinking about Ryan Cohen, think also about guys like Steve Cohen (no fucking relation) and Gabe Plotkin and Andy Left and how lucky we are that we get to roll with RC against that motley crew of fuckwads.
And do you know what? I’m guessing that RC, and maybe even the funds being discussed in that screenshot, have been very patient with Mr. Plotkin et al in recent weeks. You don’t go around bankrupting hedge funds willy nilly, you know--bad form and all that old chap. People tend to remember that. And guys like Steve Cohen and Gabe Plotkin seem like they play for keeps. So now you try to build them a Golden Bridge to cross—maybe not their preferred route of travel, but could be worse and all that, right guys? But for whatever reason it seems like the natural instinct here on the short side is fight over flight. And these short FUD tactics are getting increasingly ridiculous to help slow down the inevitable march toward the detonator right next to that bridge. So relax everyone! And let’s not fool ourselves: All those Masters of the Universes are well aware of the math problem they’re all facing here and they must have a vague grasp of the odds that this goes off in one direction over the other. And what that could mean for the size of their money pits and how many sports teams they can buy this year. Shit, I assume Steve Cohen is counseling his young acolyte about how many sads he himself felt deep down in his man heart on that fateful day in 2008 when he lost $250M on a short when Volkswagon squeezed to infinity—a sadness that he will continue to draw on when his agent finally finds him a role that calls for it.
But my point is: the longs here can afford to be patient and let this play out. When this thing moves, the Viking’s Schrödinger crabs will only be in one pot. And I’m guessing that pot is the one being held by the guy who is actually in total control here: Ryan Goddamn Cohen.
So enjoy the show today. If you’re anything like me, you’re feeling relaxed after gorging yourself on lucky space peanuts all week.(https://solarsystem.nasa.gov/news/10022/lucky-peanuts/)
And though these silly wabbits with their cumbersome FUD efforts can get a bit tiresome, I’m still very much enjoying this GME show at this point and almost do not want it to end—what with all these Sorkin-esque twists and turns and my Cohen Tweet Decorder Ring getting all this sweet action.
But just remember who Ryan Cohen is, what he cares about, and what, so far, he has told us he intends to do here. And then you might realize, as I have, that Ryan Cohen has had the Gray’s Sports Almanac here all along. This story has already been written. He’s already won. And Melvin Capital’s Schrödinger-ass crabs are dead as fuck. The only question now is: what causes that Golden Bridge to blow? I, for one, am content to wait on RC while counting my good fortune that I can continue to accumulate until whatever happens here happens. So pass the rocket peanuts.
It’s just money after all. Right Gabe?
TL/DR: Psst: a Mysterious Viking once told me about behind-the-scenes Golden Bridge negotiations that are likely taking place that give shorts no chance but the shorts seem to think they’re saying there’s a chance but there really is no chance; Gabe Plotkin, Steve Cohen and Andy Left are misunderstood Straight Shooters who probably answer typical interview questions about their own perceived weaknesses by saying “Sometimes I just care too much about doing the right thing”; and Ryan Cohen is the Goddamn Man so we can all relax and not worry so much about all this dumb short FUD bullshit, ok? OK. 🚀🚀🚀
**If you construe any of the above as investment advice without doing your own DD or at least Googling Ryan Cohen then you are a fucking idiot and may God have mercy on your soul. You too, Andy.
submitted by CPTHubbard to wallstreetbets [link] [comments]

The Cost of Almost Everything (in the Four Corners)

On my latest re-read of NoTW and WMF I took quite a few notes, including every time that Kvothe, or the omniscient narrator, mentions how much something costs in Cealdish currency.
Here is the list, from smallest to largest amount. At the end, I'll post some notes and my thoughts on why "cost" feels so important to this series.
A few notes:
  1. This is based on the text of the Tenth Anniversary Edition of Name of the Wind and a first edition hardcover of Wise Man’s Fear. The appendix to the Tenth Anniversary includes a section called “The Currencies of Temerant,” which makes explicit something about Cealdish currency that is more-or-less evident from the books: 11 shims = 1 drab, 10 drabs = 1 copper jot, 10 copper jots = 1 silver talent, and 10 silver talents = 1 gold mark. (In this same section, Pat also refers to any interest in his system of currency as not for those who are “presumably sane, well-adjusted individuals” and this is a “particular madness of his,” so...)
  2. I only kept track of Cealdish currency for this list. It’s the one that is discussed around 90% of the time, especially in NoTW.
  3. Interestingly, Pat much more often refers to amounts over 10 talents as the number of talents, rather than converting the number to “gold marks,” which are referenced only vary sparingly in the text.
  4. I think it’s helpful to look at this list by analogizing the amounts to your own currency. For me, that’s US dollars. Luckily, Cealdish currency is mostly based on powers of 10, so if you pick a round number, it’s pretty easy to convert. This isn’t an exact science (at all), but I ended up finding that imagining 1 copper jot as $20-25 and 1 silver talent as $200-250 felt about right to get a rough "feel" for the amount. Obviously, this doesn't directly translate as things like distribution of wealth and costs for certain goods and services vary wildly between the imaginary Four Corners and the present-day US. However, I still found it a good exercise for re-orienting my thoughts about the amounts discussed. It’s one thing for your eyes to see that it costs “1 copper jot” to get into the Eolian and "1 silver talent" to play there, but if you think of that as around $20, to get in and $200 to play, it hits a little differently. (Edit: I am told below that Pat has said to think of 1 silver talent as $1,000 USD, so adjust accordingly. Thank you to u/Kirdei for bringing this up and u/blizzard776 for doing all of the math below!)
Finally, I think all of this is important because it helps to provide a frame of reference for the true "cost" of living in the Four Corners.
One of the things that has always felt so special to me about this series is that Pat exhibits such genuine empathy for the poor and working-class. How hard it is to make your way in the world when you don’t have inherited wealth or help. How even if you are uniquely talented and skilled you might still find yourself absolutely scraping to get by. How you might be thinking about the amount of money you currently have in your pocket as much as you think about anything else.
Wealth is a constant focus of the narrative. It often drives the plot just as much as Kvothe’s various obsessions. His motivations and his actions are so often based on the simple problem of: “I didn’t have enough money for this thing that I needed and/or wanted” and the solution of: “I needed to get more money.” This isn’t a problem that even comes close to being “solved” until the end of WMF (possibly?). So much of the series focuses on how much things cost, whether characters can pay for them, how they pay for them, and what it means for their ability to survive in the world.
These problems are so relatable and I think this empathetic focus on poverty, wealth and cost of living is one of the things that makes this series “feel” a bit different than others.
submitted by scowlbear to KingkillerChronicle [link] [comments]

Hunter or Huntress Chapter 76: Recon

So then time to see if Jackalope accidentally joins the dragonette space program or if it will be some other unlucky bastard. They might find some targets of opportunity on their little trip after all.
The editing duo has once again had a crack at it. I don't know about you but I think they are doing one hell of a job.
On account of not having any more clever things to say I think we should dive right into chapter 76 of this not so little story.
ko-fi For having a pretty picture commissioned.
Sapphire
Wiki
First Previous Next
__________________________________________________________________________________
Chapter 76: Recon
“Ohh I remember that mountain. We slept in a cave there during a storm,” Jackalope went, pointing to the center peak of what looked like a miniature mountain chain. “That was a shitty day.”
“I bet it was. Does it have a name?” Tom questioned, looking the mountain over.
“Can’t remember,” Jackalope replied. “Something beginning with ‘hyrta’ I think.”
“That should mark around halfway,” Zarko went, looking at her map book.
“Excellent, I can't wait,” Jarix replied, clearly excited.
“You do know there is a very high chance we find absolutely nothing right?” Zarko went, in an indifferent tone.
“Oh they’ll be there, I know it.”
“If they are, people likely have died. I would prefer if we aren't hoping for that,” Tom stated. ‘Honestly Jarix,’ Tom thought to himself. It would seem there was still a ways to go with the young dragon’s compassion. He had another lesson to conduct though. “Right, Jacky I want to see you go through this thing again.”
“Sure, “ Jackalope replied, drawing the revolver from the borrowed thigh holster. Tom had been wondering if it would fit. It had only just done so, but it was on there nice and tight. “Safety is on, weapon is loaded. Reloading; open cylinder and extract,” she went through the motions just like he had taught her, extracting the bullets and placing them into the little pouch she had found for storing them until a proper belt could be arranged. Then she proceeded to reload the cylinder before clicking it shut nice and gently.
“Very good. Bring it up to fire.”
She responded, bringing the pistol up with both hands and peering down the sights. Tom was not much of an instructor, but he knew the basics. Jackalope's form was on point, though, following their first attempts. He had been worried she would be afraid of the gun following what it had done to her hand the last time. If she was, he certainly couldn’t tell. “Looks good.”
“I always look good,” Jackalope responded in a cocky tone, holstering the revolver again.
“Just a little banged up at times,” Zarko responded, mockingly.
“Scars are badass,” Jarix added in. “You're just jealous you don’t have any good ones.”
“Look who’s talking, pretty boy,” Zarko fired back. She was right of course, Jarix was damn near pristine, even if a bit of the sheen had worn off. Likely the result of not getting the polish he had been talking about.
“Ohh, are we showing scars?!” Jackalope exclaimed. “Well, you gave me one on my nose,” she went, stamping her foot a bit. “Got this one when I hit a tree when I was 8... ohh, and Fengi shot me in the ass once by accident. I ain’t showing that one though.” Tom had to suppress a giggle at that. “That one was a varghulf stinger” She continued pointing to a neat scar across her belly. “What’s you got Zarko?”
“Mine are mostly sparring and training,” Zarko admitted. “Some idiot tried to beat me up with a glass bottle in a bar once, got me across the shoulder.” There was indeed a sizable scar running down her left shoulder, Tom observed. He had thought it was a sword-cut or something. He could see a broken bottle do that though.
“What about you?” Jackalope questioned, looking at Tom. “Ohh quite a few... I was shot a few times, you know when. Got this one cliff diving on vacation once.” He went lifting up his trouser leg.
“What's a vacation?” Zarko questioned. “And why did you jump off a cliff?”
“I gotta say even I think that sounds stupid when you can't fly,” Jackalope added very thoughtfully.
“Oh right, a holiday is like, some time off from work. Where you can just go and enjoy things. I went traveling for that one. Went someplace warm to relax and have fun.”
“You jumped off a cliff... for fun?” Unkai questioned, clearly not buying it.
“Into water of course. There just wasn't quite enough water. A bit like when Fengi dropped me in the lake.”
“Ouch,” Jackalope went with a grimace.
“Okaaay, Zarko do you get vacations?” Unkai asked, looking away from Tom the mad man.
“We get time off, sure. You know, if we’re just sitting around anyway. How long is a vacation?”
“A few weeks usually, we're paid too.”
“Then no, we do not,” She responded sounding slightly miffed, ears dropping.
“I would like to travel sometime. You know, go see the world,” Jackalope responded with a hint of dreaminess to her voice.
“Should have joined the guard then,” Jarix added. “If they'd have you.”
“Not everyone can just get in because they are a damn dragon.” Zarko scolded him.
“Just because Sapphire wasn't good enough doesn’t mean I’m not,” Jackalope stated confidently.
“Sorry, they care about money mostly. Unless there is a war on. Who knows, depending on what we find today your chances might be improving.”
“Hah, when we're done with them, they are gonna ask me” Jackalope replied patting the revolver. Tom really wanted to repeat his earlier statement about not hoping for people being in trouble, but elected to shut up.
There had been a few sights to see, the odd cliff, a forest lake here and there, and a few clearings of course. Mostly though it was the sheer scale of the forest that blew Tom away. It just kept going as far as the eye could see for hours.
“Why aren't there more dragonettes here?” Tom questioned gesturing to the horizon. “There’s plenty of food down there, surely.”
“Well there isn't much reason to come out here. It's too far from the big cities to be profitable. Not to mention dangerous,” Zarko replied, matter of factly.
“We’ve mostly been left alone,” Jackalope countered, scanning the horizon.
“Mostly yeah, when something like this happens you’re on your own though. People just prefer to live either in the cities or close to them where we frequently patrol.”
“I see... Doesn’t it get, you know... overpopulated?” Tom questioned.
“Sure then we start sending more people further out. Some make it, some don’t. Most of the success stories come from ones who go and take an abandoned keep. Surviving winter without one is no easy feat, not to mention the things that would rather have you stop breathing.”
“Or turn us black as coal,” Jackalope added, clearly causing Zarko and Unkai significant discomfort.
“Sounds like a really shitty way to die,” Tom replied. Honestly, they just send people out here and cross their fingers? Humans had done the same of course, so he could hardly blame them. It would appear this place fought back a little more than the wild west had though. “Why not just make more keeps then if that works so well?”
“We do build new keeps every now and again, but that is expensive. Most people who can afford it don’t really want to spend the money on something as unprofitable as a frontier keep,” Zarko replied.
“Or you could just beat the shit out of the previous owners like Nunuk’s grandma,” Jackalope added. scoring a curious look from both Tom and Zarko, Unkai looking down a bit. “Relax, they were evil… I think. Or just really annoying, I’m not sure.”
“Apuma said she was awarded the keep for her service?” Tom went, he was fairly sure that's how it had been presented at least.
“Oh yeah, it was. That didn’t mean it was empty though.” ‘Oof’ Tom thought to himself. Then again, might have been a Flaxen bitch or something like that. He wouldn’t mind just taking where she lived.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Sapphire was feeling a fair amount of deja vu as she stood looking at the finely dressed individual outside their door. She was in quite a bit better shape today though. She gave herself a mental pat on the back for being a bit more restrained last night.
“I’m here on behalf of the Flaxen estate to formally request that you retract your baseless accusations against Lady Flaxen.” Sapphire damn near stabbed the woman in front of her and asked her how baseless she felt a knife to the gut was.
“I think you want Dakota Bizmati for that question. You know, the noble daughter whose childhood friend your Lady stabbed with a poisoned blade.” Sapphire replied, with as much malice in her voice as she could muster.
“While I admit circumstances are most regrettable, I must insist that you retract these accusations, as well as refrain from making mention of them.” She was at least sounding calm and cordial rather than screaming all the time which was a definite improvement. ‘Here we go again,' Sapphire sighed to herself, stepping back.
“All yours, Dakota.”
“Your incestuous bitch of a Lady is neither esteemed nor innocent. I will not retract my accusation, and even if I did, I think you have more to worry about.”
“Such as?” the person asked.
“The fact that she has managed to insult the royal guard as a whole, Colonel Hashaw and Baron in particular. Oh, and what more was it… Lying to a royal court, attempting to falsify evidence, and making false accusations of treason in spite of knowing the truth.” Dakota stepped forward right into the face of the woman, looking like she was ready to snap at her throat.
“This is just in addition to attempting a murder. In my fucking keep! Of my friend! She is still sick in bed after a week! Had she managed to get away with all that, she might damn well have had us all executed as traitors too! So I reiterate for the slow-minded amongst us, I will not let that bitch go!” Dakota had damn near run out of breath near the end there, but Sapphire couldn’t help but crack a smile at the finely dressed woman, who was clearly rather terrified by now.
“Uhh, I am terribly sorry. I truly am, may I come inside so we…”
“No, you may not!”
“Right, of course, see uhm. See I’m here to… negotiate the terms for having the charges dropped.”
“We will not negotiate.” Dakota responded coldly.
“I must beg you to reconsider, the family has agreed that these charges must not be brought against us.”
“Then kick the bitch out,” Sapphire added, standing behind Dakota, arms crossed doing her best to look scary.
“But, she is the Lady of the household we could not…”
“Not my fucking problem. Now piss off,” Dakota went, pointing down the stairs.
“Would you not at least hear our offer?”
“What's going on?” A still sleepy-looking Balethon questioned, stepping out of his room.
“Just someone who thinks they can buy our honor,” Dakota replied in a seething tone.
“No, I merely meant we might come to a… mutual understanding.”
“Oh please. We’re not that stupid,” Sapphire added.
“Well, what's the offer?” Balethon asked. ‘Really,’ Sapphire thought to herself disapprovingly.
“Why, no less than 500 gold to be paid in various goods.” She sounded very impressed with herself at that.
“Pfft that's it?” Sapphire let out. Sure, that was a shit ton of money. About as much as the keep made a year after all. Still, Tom likely had several times that amount just lying around. Not to mention the countless things that were likely priceless in their own right.
“That is a very large sum of money, Huntress,” The woman stated, sounding slightly offended.
“Leave!” Dakota sneered at her, still pointing at the stairs and placing her other hand on her sword hilt. ‘Maybe I should have brought a sword too,’ Sapphire wondered to herself. That was certainly an effective threat after all.
The woman did as instructed, turning away in a huff, trying to seem insulted despite clearly being scared shitless.
“Come on, let’s get some breakfast,” Dakota went, taking a deep breath easing up a bit.
After eating they elected to spend the day going around the city. Dakota had some errands to run, and they needed to get that appointment at the academy. Once things kick off with the trial they might not have the time after all.
“It’s gonna be crazy in there, don’t you think?” Sapphire questioned as they were getting ready to head out. “At the Academy I mean.”
“Hopefully Tom knows what he’s doing. I don’t think we will be the ones answering most of the questions after all,” Dakota replied, studying herself in the mirror.
“What about those Flaxen people, think they will try something?”
“Oh, I’m sure of it. Just not sure what... What would you do if Nunuk was about to bring shame to us all, by being sentenced to something like this?”
“I… I have no idea... Break her out of jail perhaps?”
“No. It’s their reputation they’re worried about, that makes it worse.”
“They aren't gonna try and kill us, right?” Sapphire questioned, suddenly slightly worried.
“Unless they wanna try to assassinate Hashaw as well it wouldn’t do them much good. She’s the one pressing the charges, technically. So I think we’re quite safe on that front. I’m more worried about Tom.”
“Wait, you think they wanna kill Tom?!”
“No. I think someone might wanna know more about him. So please, do try to restrain yourself when bragging and we don’t travel alone here. We can’t lie to the council, but down here there is no telling who you’re talking to.” Sapphire's mind flashed back to telling about Tom’s little swim with Dakota last night.
“No, I agree we should be careful.”
__________________________________________________________________________________
“We should be coming up on Hylsdal soon,” Zarko went, peering out ahead.
“I think that’s smoke,” Jarix stated. Tom sure as fuck couldn’t see it though.
“Yup, that’s smoke alright,” Zarko confirmed.
‘Oh come on.’ Tom thought to himself.
“Well someone’s home then,” Jackalope added in, not sounding worried.
“Yeah Looks like chimney smoke. Let’s go low. Skim the trees, Jarix.”
“Skimming the trees,” Jarix responded, descending down to as low as he dared. They would maintain this altitude for a while until they were close, then drop down under the canopy for the last leg. There had been no sign of fliers around as they made their approach, finally diving down into the trees at a small clearing.
“Time for an obstacle course then,” Jarix went as he began to weave between the huge trees, not slowing overly much in the process. There was a lot of space between them so it wasn't too bad. Still, it was clearly more work than cruising. Tom almost started to feel a little sick from the constant banking. First one way, then the other, over and over again.
“Please… help me,” Tom shot up at that.
“What the hell!?” he went. Looking around, the others had clearly heard it too. Shit, that was that mental speech again.
“Da fuck?! Uhm... Hello?” Jackalope tried, also looking around frantically along with the others. There was nothing to be seen though.
“On your left... please.”
“Left turn,” Jarix warned, banking into the turn.
“By the water,” The voice spoke again.
It didn’t take long before they broke a treeline, entering a clearing with a small water hole in the middle. Tom's mind was screaming ambush at him as they entered the clearing at speed. He crouched down, unlatching his revolver just in case.
“Down there,” Jarix cried out, sounding troubled. As he went into a dive Tom scrambled to hold on.
“Oh shit!” Zarko let out in alarm.
“Where?” Tom demanded, drawing the revolver. Jarix came down hard, trotting over towards something; Tom managed to get to his feet, gun raised, to see for himself. By the side of the water, a familiar-looking white horse was lying down. Head near the water, horn missing and covered in what looked more like mercury than blood. “Oh that can't be good.”
“No no no no...” Unkai trailed off as he jumped down, sprinting over to the stricken unicorn.
“No, it’s not,” Zarko confirmed, sliding down herself.
“Jarix, keep an eye out, would you? This might be a trap,” Tom went as he himself jumped down. Jarix responded with a nod craning his neck to look around.
“Is it dead?” Jackalope questioned, as Unkai was frantically looking the unicorn over. Tom took a lap of the creature. He didn’t know shit about unicorns, but this one sure looked familiar, even beaten to shit as it was.
“Not… quite yet.” It sounded calm if strained until it laid eyes on Tom, who was currently wearing his helmet, goggles, and faceplate. “What the! No not like this!” it pleaded, trying to get up. Tom instinctively raised his hands, taking a step back. It sounded female and it certainly looked like Kalestine to Tom.
“It’s cool. I’m the one who made a lot of noise. Noo, problems I won't hurt you.” It did calm down again, looking at him with those emotionless eyes.
“You look like a demon,” she let out in a weak voice. That sounded like Kalestine alright, here to rescue her and she's got the insults ready.
“Right, ohhh my gods. Bleeding, bleeding first” Unkai went talking to himself clearly awestruck by the situation. He got to work frantically sealing up cuts. There were a fair few arrow-shafts embedded in her as well.
“What should I do?” Jackalope and Tom asked in unison, looking at each other for a second then turning back to the situation in front of them.
“Water. Please water,” Kalestine pleaded, Tom obliged, unscrewing his bottle, kneeling down, and letting her drink.
“Jackalope, help wash the wounds,” Zarko ordered, sitting down to help Unkai. She applied pressure to the wounds while Unkai worked.
“So uhm… can you die? I mean, aren't you capable of saving people,” Tom tried, slightly awkwardly.
It took a bit before she answered. “Yes” she replied, looking at him while she drank. ‘I’m not gonna say this can you hear me?’ Kalestine nodded slowly in response. ‘people might be very hurt where we are going, is it true your blood can save lives’
“Only fresh” She responded. He looked at the others, how didn’t seem to react so he guessed this was private. ‘If we find any will you help them’
She finished drinking. ‘Don’t know’ it was clear she was struggling to do whatever she had to do to speak. Tom really hoped she meant she didn’t know if she could, rather than whether she would.
“How did this happen?” Zarko questioned, not being blessed with a reply. Which clearly annoyed her.
“Do you know if the keep is okay?” Jackalope tried.
“No,” Came the strained answer.
“I think she needs to rest,” Unkai went, giving a strained sigh as he moved on. “This will hurt. I am truly sorry. Zarko cut it out.”
“Taking a knife to a unicorn, there’s something you don't do every day. I am truly sorry for this,” Zarko went, sounding like she didn’t quite believe what was going on. She started to delicately cut out an arrow, going slowly and carefully. Kalestine didn't take it very well, thrashing about on the ground.
“Stop! It hurts!” she went in a demanding tone. Tom had been expecting a headache, though nothing came. In fact, even in his head, she sounded weak and tame.
“We need to get them out,” Zarko protested. Unkai nearly froze, looking at the unicorn in horror. “Jackalope, help hold her down, would you? And do your job, guardsman!” Unkai snapped back into reality and the two of them continued to work on the arrows, Jackalope holding down the unicorn’s head.
“This feels heretical,” Jackalope protested as Kalestine fought against her. It was clear the unicorn was a spent force though, failing to put up much resistance.
“Now, now. It will be over soon,” Tom tried in his best nanny voice, hoping he wasn’t just insulting her.
“The more you struggle, the more it hurts and the more you bleed,” Zarko observed as she and Unkai continued to work.
Kalestine was clearly in great pain, letting out some very distressed neighing that almost sounded more like screaming.
“That's one out. You’re doing great,” Unkai tried, in an encouraging tone. It was clear he was struggling himself though. Tom guessed that working on what was sort of like a demigod, at least to him, was a rather stressful situation. Kalestine continued to thrash around for the more painful parts, but she did stop protesting the procedure.
It took a while to get the arrows out, but they managed it. After that, it was mostly cuts and bruises and a rather nasty stab wound. She did eventually ease up a bit, breathing growing more steady as the most painful parts of the procedure were over.
“Thank you,” She finally went in a meek voice. Jackalope got off her and stood back up.
“See, there you go, good as new”
“Why didn’t you just come get us?” Tom questioned. Kalestine responded with a distressed whinney. Zarko lent over to him, and speaking in a hushed tone said,
“Her horn, Tom.”
‘Well shit,’ Tom thought to himself, looking at the broken stump. ‘How does something like that even happen?’
__________________________________________________________________________________
So then we have a fucked up Unicorn, a timetable in tatters, and yet another Flaxen... hey at least everyone is still breathing.
As always let me know what you think down below, both the good and the bad. not to mention, questions and general Tom foolery ;)
Until next time have an awesome day.
ko-fi For having a pretty picture commissioned.
Sapphire
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The Castle Black Plotline in The Winds of Winter (Spoilers Extended)

The current plotline at Castle Black that is often discussed is what exactly happens with Jon's resurrection. In this post I'd like to discuss everything else (characters, magic, etc.) that is going on at Castle Black as we head into The Winds of Winter.

Thoughts/Speculation on the Characters, Plots, Etc. that are going on at Castle Black in TWOW

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

POV Characters

We currently have two POV characters located at the Wall:
Jon Snow
As we know, Jon Snow has been stabbed by several member of the Night's Watch at the end of TWOW (for the watch).
If interested: Three Times the Gods Saw Fit to Test My Vows
Melisandre
With Jon Snow dead*, our only POV character at Castle Black is Melisandre. GRRM has confirmed that Mel should have multiple chapters in The Winds of Winter:
For the nonce, it is what it is. My life is at home, on hold, and I am spending the days in Westeros with my pals Mel and Sam and Vic and Ty. And that girl with no name, over there in Braavos. -SSM, Back in Westeros: 15 August 2020
and:
“I don’t plan to set any scenes in Asshai – at least not in the present book, but you may find out a little bit about it in future books. We do have one character who’s been there, of course, and that’s Melisandre. So, in the chapters from her thought, you may occasionally have her think back to her time in Asshai.” -SSM, Guadalajara Book Festival: 2 December 2016
It should also be noted that Devan Seaworth attends her.

Magical Characters

Ghost
Ghost is the last thing that Jon Snow says before the end of ADWD:
Jon fell to his knees. He found the dagger's hilt and wrenched it free. In the cold night air the wound was smoking. "Ghost," he whispered. Pain washed over him. Stick them with the pointy end. When the third dagger took him between the shoulder blades, he gave a grunt and fell face-first into the snow. He never felt the fourth knife. Only the cold … -ADWD, Jon XIII
Its heavily theorized that he will warg ghost while he is dead*.
The flames crackled softly, and in their crackling she heard the whispered name Jon Snow. His long face floated before her, limned in tongues of red and orange, appearing and disappearing again, a shadow half-seen behind a fluttering curtain. Now he was a man, now a wolf, now a man again. But the skulls were here as well, the skulls were all around him. Melisandre had seen his danger before, had tried to warn the boy of it. Enemies all around him, daggers in the dark. He would not listen. -ADWD, Melisandre I
Patchface
Patchface the undead prophetic fool is last seen at the Sigorn/Alys Karstark wedding when Mel thinks she has seen him in her flames:
Ser Malegorn offered his arm, and Queen Selyse took it stiffly. Her other hand settled on her daughter's shoulder. The royal ducklings fell in behind them as they made their way across the yard, marching to the music of the bells on the fool's hat. "Under the sea the mermen feast on starfish soup, and all the serving men are crabs," Patchface proclaimed as they went. "I know, I know, oh, oh, oh."
Melisandre's face darkened. "That creature is dangerous. Many a time I have glimpsed him in my flames. Sometimes there are skulls about him, and his lips are red with blood."
A wonder you haven't had the poor man burned. All it would take was a word in the queen's ear, and Patchface would feed her fires. "You see fools in your fire, but no hint of Stannis?" -ADWD, Jon X
and then again when he volunteers to lead the rescue ranging to Hardhome:
Patchface jumped up. "I will lead it!" His bells rang merrily. "We will march into the sea and out again. Under the waves we will ride seahorses, and mermaids will blow seashells to announce our coming, oh, oh, oh."
They all laughed. Even Queen Selyse allowed herself a thin smile. Jon was less amused. "I will not ask my men to do what I would not do myself. I mean to lead the ranging." -ADWD, Jon XIII
Borroq (Skinchanger)
Borroq (and possibly some other skinchangers) now live south of the wall:
And so long as Borroq and his boar are about, I dare not let him loose." The skinchanger was to accompany Soren Shieldbreaker to Stonedoor once the wayns carrying the Sealskinner's clan to Greenguard returned. Until such time, Borroq had taken up residence in one of the ancient tombs beside the castle lichyard. The company of men long dead seemed to suit him better than that of the living, and his boar seemed happy rooting amongst the graves, well away from other animals. "That thing is the size of a bull, with tusks as long as swords. Ghost would go after him if he were loose, and one or both of them would not survive the meeting." -ADWD, Jon XIII
and:
"And where will you be, crow?" Borroq thundered. "Hiding here in Castle Black with your white dog?"
"No. I ride south." Then Jon read them the letter Ramsay Snow had written. -ADWD, Jon XIII
and:
As for Borroq, Othell Yarwyck claimed the woods north of Stonedoor were full of wild boars. Who was to say the skinchanger would not make his own pig army? -ADWD, Jon XIII
Wun Wun
An homage to the Giants quarterback Phil Simms (#11), Wun Wun is the only giant at Castle Black as he didn't arrive with Tormund's host (those giants wouldn't leave their mammoths and were sent to Eastwatch).
After receiving the Pink Letter, Jon is killed by his brothers after hearing a commotion from Wun Wun killing Ser Patrek of Kings' Mountain:
Men poured from the surrounding keeps and towers. Northmen, free folk, queen's men … "Form a line," Jon Snow commanded them. "Keep them back. Everyone, but especially the queen's men." The dead man was Ser Patrek of King's Mountain; his head was largely gone, but his heraldry was as distinctive as his face. Jon did not want to risk Ser Malegorn or Ser Brus or any of the queen's other knights trying to avenge him.
Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun howled again and gave Ser Patrek's other arm a twist and pull. It tore loose from his shoulder with a spray of bright red blood. Like a child pulling petals off a daisy, thought Jon. "Leathers, talk to him, calm him. The Old Tongue, he understands the Old Tongue. Keep back, the rest of you. Put away your steel, we're scaring him." Couldn't they see the giant had been cut? Jon had to put an end to this or more men would die. They had no idea of Wun Wun's strength. -ADWD, Jon XIII
Another fun fact:
Wun Wun kills Patrek to fulfill a bet that George R. R. Martin made with his friend, Patrick St. Denis. George is a fan of the New York Giants football team, while Patrick supports the Dallas Cowboys.

Factions

Wildlings
An initial group of wildlings submits to Stannis, and I can't say much to their loyalty.
In return for their allegiance (which should be noted is sworn to Jon Snow and not the realm or the Night's Watch) and hostages, valuables, a Tormund leads a large number of wildlings through the wall.
Howd Wanderer swore his oath upon his sword, as nicked and pitted a piece of iron as Jon had ever seen. Devyn Sealskinner presented him with a sealskin hat, Harle the Huntsman with a bear-claw necklace. The warrior witch Morna removed her weirwood mask just long enough to kiss his gloved hand and swear to be his man or his woman, whichever he preferred. And on and on and on. -ADWD, Jon XII
and:
The roar was all he could have hoped for, the tumult so loud that the two old shields tumbled from the walls. Soren Shieldbreaker was on his feet, the Wanderer as well. Toregg the Tall, Brogg, Harle the Huntsman and Harle the Handsome both, Ygon Oldfather, Blind Doss, even the Great Walrus. I have my swords, thought Jon Snow, and we are coming for you, Bastard. -ADWD, Jon XIII
and:
Silence greeted his pronouncement. Then Othell Yarwyck said, "Lord Commander, there are thousands of—"
"—scrawny wildlings, bone weary, hungry, far from home." Jon pointed at the lights of their campfires. "There they are. Four thousand, Tormund claims."
"Three thousand, I make them, by the fires." Bowen Marsh lived for counts and measures. "More than twice that number at Hardhome with the woods witch, we are told. And Ser Denys writes of great camps in the mountains beyond the Shadow Tower …" -ADWD, Jon XI
It should be noted that Jon intends to garrison all of the abandoned castles on the wall with wildlings.
If interested: The Abandoned Castles on the Wall and Tormund's Nicknames
Val
Val is such a mysterious character:
"My lady, you do not have to do this. The risk—" "—is mine, Lord Snow. And I am no southron lady but a woman of the free folk. I know the forest better than all your black-cloaked rangers. It holds no ghosts for me." -ADWD, Jon III
and:
"Did you follow me as well?" Jon reached to shoo the bird away but ended up stroking its feathers. The raven cocked its eye at him. "Snow," it muttered, bobbing its head knowingly. Then Ghost emerged from between two trees, with Val beside him. They look as though they belong together. Val was clad all in white; white woolen breeches tucked into high boots of bleached white leather, white bearskin cloak pinned at the shoulder with a carved weirwood face, white tunic with bone fastenings. Her breath was white as well … but her eyes were blue, her long braid the color of dark honey, her cheeks flushed red from the cold. It had been a long while since Jon Snow had seen a sight so lovely. -ADWD, Jon XI
It should be noted that she wants Shireen dead (mercy) and that she was "stolen" by Jon Snow. The Pink Letter also demands the "wildling princess".
Karstarks
"Sigorn leads two hundred Thenns," Jon pointed out, "and Lady Alys believes Karhold will open its gates to her. Two of your men have already sworn her their service and confirmed all she had to say concerning the plans your father made with Ramsay Snow. You have close kin at Karhold, I am told. A word from you could save their lives. Yield the castle. Lady Alys will pardon the women who betrayed her and allow the men to take the black." -ADWD, Jon XII
Cregan Karstark had turned up a day behind his niece. With him came four mounted men-at-arms, a huntsman, and a pack of dogs, sniffing after Lady Alys as if she were a deer. Jon Snow met them on the kingsroad half a league south of Mole's Town, before they could turn up at Castle Black, claim guest right, or call for parley. One of Karstark's men had loosed a crossbow quarrel at Ty and died for it. That left four, and Cregan himself. -ADWD, Jon X
Queen's Men
Queen Selyse descended upon Castle Black with her daughter and her daughter's fool, her serving girls and lady companions, and a retinue of knights, sworn swords, and men-at-arms fifty strong. Queen's men all, Jon Snow knew. They may attend Selyse, but it is Melisandre they serve. The red priestess had warned him of their coming almost a day before the raven arrived from Eastwatch with the same message. -ADWD, Jon IX
and:
The chamber was crowded. Princess Shireen stood beside her mother's seat, with Patchface cross-legged at her feet. Behind the queen loomed Ser Axell Florent. Melisandre of Asshai stood closer to the fire, the ruby at her throat pulsing with every breath she took. The red woman too had her attendants—the squire Devan Seaworth and two of the guardsmen the king had left her.
Queen Selyse's protectors stood along the walls, shining knights all in a row: Ser Malegorn, Ser Benethon, Ser Narbert, Ser Patrek, Ser Dorden, Ser Brus. With so many bloodthirsty wildlings infesting Castle Black, Selyse kept her sworn shields about her night and day. Tormund Giantsbane had roared to hear it. "Afraid of being carried off, is she? I hope you never said how big me member is, Jon Snow, that'd frighten any woman. I always wanted me one with a mustache." Then he laughed and laughed. -ADWD, Jon XIII
Selyse has been busy arranging marriages:
"Gerrick is the true and rightful king of the wildlings," the queen said, "descended in an unbroken male line from their great king Raymun Redbeard, whereas the usurper Mance Rayder was born of some common woman and fathered by one of your black brothers."
No, Jon might have said, Gerrick is descended from a younger brother of Raymun Redbeard. To the free folk that counted about as much as being descended from Raymun Redbeard's horse. They know nothing, Ygritte. And worse, they will not learn.
"Gerrick has graciously agreed to give the hand of his eldest daughter to my beloved Axell, to be united by the Lord of Light in holy wedlock," Queen Selyse said. "His other girls shall wed at the same time—the second daughter with Ser Brus Buckler and the youngest with Ser Malegorn of Redpool." -ADWD, Jon XIII
She also wanted Val to marry Ser Patrek.
Queen Selyse pursed her lips. "Lord Snow, as Lady Val is a stranger to our ways, please send her to me, that I might instruct her in the duties of a noble lady toward her lord husband."
That will go splendidly, I know. Jon wondered if the queen would be so eager to see Val married to one of her own knights if she knew Val's feelings about Princess Shireen. "As you wish," he said, "though if I might speak freely—" -ADWD, Jon XIII
"North of the Wall it is. Hemlock is a sure cure, but a pillow or a blade will work as well. If I had given birth to that poor child, I would have given her the gift of mercy long ago."
This was a Val that Jon had never seen before. "Princess Shireen is the queen's only child."
"I pity both of them. The child is not clean." -ADWD, Jon VI
We know at some point that Shireen is going to be burned by Stannis probably in an attempt to wake the stone dragon. There is no guarantee that it happens at Castle Black, as Stannis has taken the Nightfort as his seat.
Night's Watch
There are numerous members of the Night's Watch at Castle Black with uncertain loyalty. Obviously not all of them took part in the mutiny, but will they condemn those who did or agree that Jon was breaking his oath.
Some rangers, such as Ser Alliser are ranging beyond the wall.
If interested: Ser Alliser's Destiny is die/come back as a wight and try to kill Jon Snow
Nights Watch Mutineers
Yarwyck and Marsh were slipping out, he saw, and all their men behind them. It made no matter. He did not need them now. He did not want them. No man can ever say I made my brothers break their vows. If this is oathbreaking, the crime is mine and mine alone. -ADWD, Jon XIII
We know for sure:
But there are definitely others.
"For the Watch." Wick slashed at him again. This time Jon caught his wrist and bent his arm back until he dropped the dagger. The gangling steward backed away, his hands upraised as if to say, Not me, it was not me. Men were screaming. Jon reached for Longclaw, but his fingers had grown stiff and clumsy. Somehow he could not seem to get the sword free of its scabbard.
Then Bowen Marsh stood there before him, tears running down his cheeks. "For the Watch." He punched Jon in the belly. When he pulled his hand away, the dagger stayed where he had buried it. -ADWD, Jon XIII

What Happens Next?

I feel that outside of Jon Snow's resurrection and Shireen's eventual sacrifice, this is a plot area we know the least about what is going to happen next.
Its going to be chaos with a dead Jon Snow, and the different factions. What will Selyse do upon finding out that Stannis is "dead". How does Mel factor into all of this? So many questions and so few answers.
A couple other posts that could add some context:
Beyond the Wall in The Winds of Winter
Warrior Women of Ice and Fire Part I: The Free Folk
TLDR: A "quick" synopsis of the factions different factions and main characters at Castle Black as we head into TWOW.
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Meet The Freak 40

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Valentine
"Ten acres and you can use the tunnel upon request," Foreman Sanders countered.
Wally shook his head, "Minus the hotel's foundations, the hill is just shy of twenty-eight acres, you're asking for over a third of my farmable land just to cut some time off my supply runs. The pass isn't too much further north. We can go around if we need to. How about this? You can have either one acre on top of the foundation, or four down on the hill. In exchange, I get to use the tunnel whenever I want."
"One acre on the foundation and two on the hill, we need to be able to tunnel, and I don't much like the idea of trying to dig through solid stone that's run through with a mesh of iron."
"And we get to use the tunnel whenever we want."
"And you get to use the tunnel whenever you want," the foreman relented.
Wally's hand covered most of the gnome's forearm as the two shook on it.
"I'd invite you in for drinks," Foreman Sanders offered, removing his sun goggles to place them on his forehead, "But we've not even the headroom for elves."
"It's the thought that counts," Wally replied with a shrug.
"When can we send our surveyors out to choose our ground?"
"Val and I are headed to Pelignos after this, but I'll let my people back at the hotel know about our agreement. So you can send them whenever you like."
"That'd be a clever trick, with you being here in Caniforma. How do you expect to manage that?"
Wally shrugged his pack off one shoulder and pulled it around to his front, retrieving one of the books he'd made.
"Here," he offered, holding it out, "There are more detailed instructions inside, but the short version is that anything written on the relevant page will appear on the page's twin in my book. So if you need to send messages, this is how to do it."
Sanders took the tome and turned it over in his hands. "Huh, clever," he muttered, "Got any other tricks?"
"Yes."
"I bet you do," he mused, "Maybe I'll go with the survey team, I wonder what we'll find."
And with that, the foreman took his leave, descending the steps into the tunnel. I followed Wally out from underneath the sunshade, and gingerly touched his arm. When he didn't shy away, I stepped in closer and took his hand.
He'd begun to loosen up over the past few weeks. He'd become more adventurous, shall we say, though until recently it had only been in private that he'd let me see that side of him.
Bringing the others to the hotel had helped, as had the previous night at The Maiden, and though it made me feel special to be the only one allowed to see his soft side, it was nice to see him finally relax. He seemed more comfortable in his own skin and looked more like a person than a living statue.
Well, okay. He still looks like a statue. But at least he's a more relaxed statue.
I peered up at him, "What now? Shall we go back to The Maiden? You can do unforgivable things to me," I offered.
Wally pulled his arm away gently and put his hands in his pockets, "Actually I was thinking that I need some armour, so I don't get so messed up next time someone sneaks up on me with a knife."
I felt a little pang of regret as he pulled away. I knew he took guilty pleasure in my lewd comments, but I'd evidently pushed too far. He may have opened up a little, and though I doubted anyone on the street had overheard me, the setting was far from private.
"But that's going to be tricky if I can't fit in the tunnels," he continued, "unless one of the goblin families specializes in smithing."
"The lower levels of The Maiden connect to the tunnels, there is a second front entrance down there. We could call for a smith, have them meet us there," I offered.
"Alright," he replied doubtfully.
"I'm sorry Wally, I didn't mean- I don't want you to be uncomfortable at The Maiden."
"It's not that," he assured me, "I'm just thinking about the numbers here. I need armour of some kind. I just don't know how practical it's going to be for someone my size."
"Well let's talk some smiths and find out. There's no harm in doing some research."
Wally nodded slowly, "Alright, we'll talk to some people and see what they have to say."
Irony made the necessary arrangements, and after promising to foot the bill whatever it cost, I left Wallace to converse with the half-dozen or so gnomes that had shown up.
I padded up the steps back to the common room. I could hear a dull murmur on the other side of the thick oak door. I set my hand on the brass knob and turned, pushing open the door. The conversation within immediately fell silent, and every eye turned to me.
"What?" I demanded, glowering at the women lounging by the fireplace.
Irony grinned, "We were just discussing how you're so obviously head over heels for this human."
I kicked the door shut with my heel, "You're acting as if I'm a little girl with my first crush and gossiping like a knitting circle."
Irony leapt up from the couch and put an arm around my shoulders, guiding me back to sit with her, "He must be very special."
"He's fine," I replied flatly.
"Nonsense," Chastity said with a grin. She was in her usual place on the cushions by the fire, wrapped up in her white robe, "I'm not the only one who remembers your fantasies. By day you'd be the dashing surveyor, exploring strange lands and making off with exotic treasures, and by night you'd be here-"
"Likely tied up or shackled," Irony added.
"Definitely naked," Obedience put in.
"Making all sorts of noises," Virtue nodded.
"You were very clear," Purity agreed, "Said we'd belong to you every minute of the day."
"Mmm, or she'd be ours," Irony smouldered.
Chastity threw up her arms, and her robe fell about her waist, "And the next time we see you, you're with your enormous friend and don't seem to have any interest in sharing him."
"Or yourself," Obedience added.
"Of course I have an interest!" I retorted, "But Wally doesn't, and I don't want to make him uncomfortable or do anything to upset him."
Irony nodded in agreement, "Because you're head over heels for him."
"I-"
"Come on Val, don't pretend otherwise," Chastity mocked, "You always said the only way you'd settle down with someone is if they were either hung like a horse, or very special to you."
Purity sat dangling her legs over the side of the couch, swinging them absently, "So which is it?" she asked innocently.
I rolled my eyes, "And you lot were going on and on about how well you know me. Please, I'm not one for second best. Wally's obviously both."
Irony tapped a finger against her lower lip, "I thought you were walking funny this morning."
"Jealous," I accused.
Each one of them nodded, grins and smirks all around.
Irony hugged me tighter, "I'm glad you're happy, Val. As much as I like the idea of having you as our only client, it's good to see you've finally found a life you don't feel the need to escape from."
"Girls, I'm sorry," I sighed, "I wasn't even thinking of the promise I'd made."
"Well if Wallace ever changes his mind I'm certainly up for it," Chastity grinned, "But don't bother yourself about it. None of us are looking to get out in any case."
"I've had enough money saved for ages now," Obedience agreed, "I'm not planning on going anywhere."
"Besides," Irony chimed in, "I know few places where I'll be paid to discipline uppity nobles and wealthy merchants."
"Well if any of you ever change your mind, send word to my sister. We're visiting Pelignos next, and we'll be delivering an enchanted book that Wally made to communicate. Let my sister know of any troubles, and she can send word along to Wally and myself."
Wally returned to the common room not much later with a sheaf of paper in one massive hand. He nodded absently at myself and the others, oblivious to Chastity's nudity, and went straight to the room we'd taken for ourselves.
I took my leave of the girls and joined Wallace in our chambers. He was already seated on the couch with his papers spread out on the table before him. Notes, diagrams, sketches of armour, measurements, and several graphs that appeared utterly incomprehensible. It seemed his meeting had been educational.
"I'm not bothering you, am I?"
Wallace looked up startled as if he hadn't heard me come in.
The cycle had become familiar. Wally was deciphering a problem, one where I didn't have anything to add. He generally liked to be alone at times like this. I knew that inevitably he'd think things through, and it would all come flowing out of him as he explained the circumstances and how he thought to resolve the issues. By the end, I'd usually have more information on the subject than I knew what to do with, but I wasn't much use until Wally decided to share.
He hesitated, and for a moment I thought he might indeed say I was a bother, though perhaps in gentler terms.
"I promise not to ask you to tear off my clothes or tie me up."
"It's okay," Wally said with a smile and a nod.
He shuffled over a bit, giving me room to sit beside him on the couch, and I joined him.
"Um, Wally," I began, "I know that I often say such things as, you can do whatever you want to me, but it occurs to me that usually ends in the sorts of things I want. So what do you want Wally? Anything, absolutely anything."
Wally leaned back against the couch and took me lightly about the waist. He lifted me gently and laid me against his chest with my head against his shoulder.
"This right here, this is plenty."
"I'll be quiet, if you like, until you've finished thinking over what you learned," I murmured, "But I would like to hear about it once you're ready to share."
I shivered as Wally began to rub my back, and I let myself relax against him.
"No, it's alright," he assured me, "Here, this is probably the least bad option I've come up with," he explained, holding the sketch so I could see it.
"Brigandine? Seems sensible enough, it's what I favoured before I found this," I told him, lifting an arm, protected by the advanced human fabric, "Speaking of which," I muttered.
I drew away from Wallace and undid the zip of my suit. Wally eyed me warily, but I made a placating gesture.
"I've still got my shift on, and I'm not trying to get handsy. I just want to relax a little, and the suit is not the most comfortable garment," after a moment's thought, I also took off my amulet. I discarded both on the floor and leaned back against Wally. I shook out my hair, and let it cascade down my back and across Wally's chest, "Now what's the matter with Brigandine? Least bad, you said? I doubt you'll find much that's more comfortable. My jumpsuit aside, one must compromise comfort for protection, and even my jumpsuit does little beyond stopping blades and teeth."
"Well that's the thing, I don't need much more protection than that. Humans are already pretty durable when it comes to blunt trauma. As long as you don't get hit in the head and nothing breaks, you'll probably be fine. Sore, but fine. The trouble comes when you're dealing with sharp things that pierce internal organs or cut veins and arteries."
"And you need not concern yourself with breaking bones," I realized.
"Yeah, and while I still don't want to get hit on the head, the sheer mass of my skull does give me some protection. It's hard to shake around or jostle something that weighs about eighty pounds."
"Please," I laughed, "You're exaggerating, you're thickheaded, that much is obvious. But it can't weigh that much."
Wally shook his head, "Human head accounts for about eight percent of a human's total body mass. I weigh about a thousand pounds, so my head is about eighty."
"And you're carrying all that weight on your neck? Gods, now I know why the girls found so many knots in your muscles. You must be so sore."
Wally shrugged, unwilling to burden me with the whole of it, "Thankfully I've got some well-developed neck muscles. So a helmet is still a good idea, but as you saw back in the dungeon theme park, blades are a problem. Brigandine is nice, but it's a lot more than I need. My ribcage will keep most things away from my heart, lungs, all the important stuff. But my abdomen and lower back aren't as well protected. It also doesn't cover my thighs and all the blood vessels inside. All I need is something to keep myself from getting cut. Mail also works, but it's loud, it's heavy, and I need to know to wear it. It's not like your suit where you can just wear it twenty-four-seven."
"I know you're a lot bigger than me, but my suit is made for a human much larger than myself. We could cut it up," I offered, "Craft a garment that would keep you safe."
"Val, we are not cutting up your flight suit."
"It's okay, really," I assured him.
"Val, as far as I can tell, it's the only possession in the world you treasure. We're not cutting up the trophy you earned surveying. I'll find another way."
"Okay, you big sentimental oaf, what other ways have you got?"
"You're right about the flight suit, and two ways come to mind if I want to replicate it. Either I transmute cloth to steel, and hope it stays flexible, or modify cloth so that its strength is comparable."
"I suppose I could see metal forming a workable cloth if the fibres- if they can still be called such -are fine enough. But if the metal is fine enough to fold, won't it be easy for a blade to slip through? Not on a cut perhaps, but an arrow or sword point may make it through."
"On Earth, we've got these things called 'shark suits'. They're for divers that want to swim near sharks. It's a skintight steel mesh that covers the whole body. That's where I got the idea from. But I bet that it's not as simple as weaving some steel wire into fabric. The structure is probably different. I just don't know how it's different."
"Then we need gold and emeralds. Strengthen Animal will work to enhance the durability of silk, gold for strengthening mana, emerald for animal mana."
"That's not going to be cheap."
"We have the money, and I don't want anyone putting more marks on your beautiful body. Irony knows how to take professional measurements, used to arranging for the special garments her clients require, I suppose. We can get her to take your measurements, and have the clothes ready by the time we're back from Pelignos."
Wally nodded, "Alright, but I'd like them to look like normal clothes. Like this, basically. Shirt, pants, nothing crazy."
"Okay," I yawned. Wally's scent and the heat coming off his body was beginning to make me sleepy, "We could get Irony to measure me as well. If there's something specific you have in mind, I'm sure we could get it made."
"You want me to dress you up in cosplay?" Wally frowned.
I shrugged, and put on my best innocent face, "If you like."
"Val, I don't think-" he began.
Then he paused, tilting his head and looking off into the distance. A slow smile spread across his face, but he shook his head.
"Nah," he said finally, "Well... Nah."
submitted by ThisHasNotGoneWell to HFY [link] [comments]

[LET'S BUILD] d100 ways to start mid conversation

When playing any ttrpg, it is important to remember that there are thousands of stories all happening outside of the players' own. A fun way to demonstrate this is by having them overhear a conversation as they enter a new environment (especially in a tavern). This can be used for humor, story, or even foreshadowing whats to come! In any case, jumping in mid conversation allows for some amazing NPC interactions that would otherwise be lost.
Note: These phrases can be said by anyone, but for an extra bit of randomness, you can roll against a separate NPC d100 table for some neat combinations and scenarios.
Note No. 2: For my starting list, I'll be using they/them pronouns, but you can substitute any pronouns you like when using this list! On a similar note, feel free to tweak any of these to fit your setting.
Update: I'm going to try to keep this as updated as I can, but classes need to come first, so it may be slightly delayed.
Update 2: Ooh look! Shiny! Never had one of those before!
Update 3: I filled out the last 5 entries to throw in some possible plot relevant snip bits.
  1. "...and they said 'Go to Hell!" So, I did"
  2. "You're telling me that I went though all that trouble to get you this one specific pig, and you give me a single copper coin?!"
  3. "I'm actually a dragon in disguise."
  4. "Did you hear about what happened to the Queen?"
  5. "... And thats how I slept with the Queen of Air and Darkness and got away with it."
  6. "How did you know?" "The birds."
  7. "It was absolutely dreadful! There was (insert reference to previous encounter here). Ugh, thats the last time I spend my holiday in (relevant location)."
  8. "I hope no one saw... gods damnit."
  9. "... the bounty is XXX Gold pieces, but you must do it wearing this."
  10. "INTERLOPER!"
  11. "... and they died in a tornado."
  12. "... excuse me sir, I seem to be missing an arm. Have you seen it?"
  13. "... biggest fish, I said. That doesn't count! It's not a fish!"
  14. "... yes, fine, he's tall and handsome, but I don't like the way he talks to her. Not one bit."
  15. "... Sure, nobody likes to lose a cart, but how are you going to get it out of there?"
  16. "I wouldn't if I were you. I don't buy from those foreign peddlers, I don't care what the price is."
  17. "... not a curse, just bad luck. Don't be ridiculous."
  18. "... if they notice you, just say you were lost and trying to find the path."
  19. "... just a dream! Don't read so much into it. I dreamed I was a horse once, do you think I went and galloped off into the pasture?"
  20. "So there I am, slathered in butter and praying to Chauntea for a good harvest..."
  21. "... hornswaggled out of good coin! Never trust (insert prominent character here)."
  22. "Did I ever tell you about the time I swam 100 miles back to shore?"
  23. "When does (prominent shop) close today?"
  24. "We're in the end times, mark my words!"
  25. "... no. No, I'm never going back there. Never, I say!"
  26. "Doesn't bite? How do you know?"
  27. "You don't know that. It could have belonged to anybody! One skull looks like another!"
  28. "Are you sure you've never heard it? Late at night when the wind is still..."
  29. "That can't be real gold. I mean, can it? How do we tell?"
  30. "Look closely. And be honest. Do I look older than I did yesterday?"
  31. "No, it's not sick, I feel... strange... like my feet aren't quite on the ground, can't describe it..."
  32. "Well, ignore her. That old woman babbles nonsense all the time. Last year she said she had a troll trapped in a jar in her cellar. Did you believe that, too?"
  33. "Those are some good arguments, but you really shouldn't trust the hag."
  34. "... and I'm quite proud that I can also do it the other way around!"
  35. "That doesn't sound at all like an owlbear to me."
  36. "... So I asked them 'You wanna start a fight?' and the bastard punched me in the face!" "Well, what did you expect?" "A yes or a no! Not to lose a tooth!"
  37. "... And that's how I saved supper after the salt got knocked into it!"
  38. "By the way, about your debt with the barkeep... I paid it off. I just need this to be your last drink."
  39. "This map can't be real!" "Shhhh! Quiet down!"
  40. "Have I asked about Aunt Barb already? I swear it has been too long since I've been home!"
  41. "... and that's what happened to our third dog. So anyways, once I finished cleaning up..."
  42. "I coulda sworn I left it by the sink, but what do you know, it was under me chair!" "Ya know, Pa, I really gotta go open the shop..."
  43. "And then you wouldn't believe what I found with it! Two whole copper pieces! Why when in I was a lad..."
  44. "... So there I am, going hot and heavy at it, and could you ever have guessed it? Started to rain! I bet the hay I harvested is molding already..."
  45. "So we got married for the fifth time, on account of pregnancy..."
  46. "I swear it's true! This time they are real!"
  47. “...Listen, if even half of the stories you heard from soldiers were true, they’d each have a dozen bastards crawling around by now. There’s no way he saw a unicorn”
  48. “... so I told him- don’t open that chest! It wasn’t there before. Must be a mimic! So of course he opens it and sees the gold we took. That’s when Breniard says ‘Gods! That sleeping mimic must’ve eaten all your gold!’ Hehe, he’s a fine lad, got his tongue cut out of course, but he doesn’t complain about it much.”
  49. “... I’m telling ya, we’re wasting our time and risking our necks trying to be small-time thrives. The REAL money is in religion.”
  50. “Why should I care if some adventurer were coming to kill the boss- it’s not like he pays us enough to risk our hides for him. Seven hells, did you hear that Morbar the Dreadful gives his men 3 weeks of vacation time?”
  51. “... I raise 4.” “Sod off, you’re bluffing. I raise 10” “4’s all I have left.” “Fine, throw in that dagger you won off Mikel”
  52. “... and how should I know? She never talks to me. Never talks to anyone as far as I know. She just sharpens that axe o’ hers and hums that same song over and over again.”
  53. (Singing) “... oh! For the iron maidenhead! I prep my sword and rush ahead! And if my sword should bend insteaaaaad- at least she’ll mind me satchel” “Those aren’t the words, you know.” “Oh everyone’s a critic...”
  54. “Why do you wear that eyepatch all the time? I’ve seen your eye. It’s fine. And we don’t work in low light, so what gives?” “Look- it’s all about cultivating an image. Some adventurer rushes in and sees a man with an eyepatch they think, ‘oh- now here’s a man of danger. A man who won’t think twice before taking one of MY eyes.’ Get’s ‘em shakin’ in their boots.” “...Okay, but aren’t they just as likely to think-‘Now here’s a man that won’t see my sword comin’ from the left’ ?” “... Shut up Breyla.”
  55. “This ale tastes like a goat’s arse... best we’ve had all month”
  56. “... shhh! Quiet, something’s coming... (Passes gas) Hahaha! You should’ve seen your face.”
  57. “... you know that dwarf? The one with the beard?” “They all have beards, Podd” “Sod off, you know the one I mean.”
  58. "...and I said, 'that's not a cucumber!'"
  59. "Don't let her go. You remember Alma's boy, Gunther, went off to soldier, ended up hanged as a bandit."
  60. "Well, it has to be somewhere. It's too big to just blow away in the wind. Keep looking!"
  61. "Exorcism? No, I think she just hit her head. If it was a demon wouldn't it be more, I don't know, evil or something?"
  62. "But if I can get it to grow here, think how much it would sell for!"
  63. "Nah, didn't sound like a bird. More like a, a, a sort of hissing singing, I guess?"
  64. "No, no, she was speaking Common, just with an accent so thick you could barely understand her."
  65. "A cloak dyed so bright, it looked like the dye was still wet. They say that's what the Emperors of the East wear, you know. Where do you suppose he got it?"
  66. "Well, even if she could do it, that would be witchcraft, and I want no part of it. But I don't believe you anyway."
  67. "Here's what you do: you dig up an anthill, crush up all the ants, mix 'em with ale, and drink it all in one gulp. She'll feel better before you know it."
  68. "I always get the feeling that I'm being eavesdropped upon." "It's probably nothing."
  69. "... and that's the last time I try to seduce a dragon!"
  70. “You look tired everything ok?” “Dreamt of god again” “isn’t that the fourth time this week?” “Yeah it’s really been getting on my nerves.”
  71. ...and when the patient woke up, his skeleton was missing and the cleric was never heard from again.
  72. “And I, in my great wizatude, declare (what ever he needs to declare!”
  73. “Not me says I.”
  74. “Beware of the bears that come out in the fog…”
  75. “Duckgoats! Have you ever seen a duckgoat? They're part duck and part goat. A duck with a goat's ass.”
  76. “Small things come in big packages!”
  77. "Was he wearing the long scarf?" "No, the bow-tie and had a long chin."
  78. "Those are only the prices for strangers. It's half that for locals."
  79. "... as they took my father away on the plague cart, my mother turned to me and said 'I'm beginning to think they actually said 'Bring out your *dead*"
  80. "I used to be a gigolo like you, until I took an arrow to the..."
  81. "Al? Ziggy? Gooshie? Are you there?" [Looks at group] "Oh, boy."
  82. "... I'm just saying there are advantages to the occasional genocide."
  83. "So he used his dying breath to call out the name of a sled?"
  84. "... doesn't even know he's actually the true heir to the thro..." "Shh, he's here."
  85. "... and I said, 'that's not actually your name, you're his monster.'"
  86. "...the prefect sacrifice isn't just going to walk in that door so we can complete the ritual, are they?"
  87. "... and you bury the last witness's body and we're done."
  88. "... and she couldn't get it out. So she grabbed a pair of scissors, and I said, 'You're not sticking those...'"
  89. "...and another thing I've been wondering lately, Oh, baby, Tell me where have you been?"
  90. "... and that was the last time I ever wore pants."
  91. "...It's quite euphoric really..."
  92. “...about it from their perspective, it’s like, maybe WE’RE the bad guys, you know?”
  93. " ... heh goes to show just how important it is to have a fresh pair of underpants on."
  94. “...about it from their perspective, it’s like, maybe WE’RE the bad guys, you know?”
  95. “...did A backflip, snapped the bad guy’s neck, and saved the day!”
  96. "How did you know it was a mimic?" "When is it not a mimic?"
  97. Insult of the PC's mother
  98. "Did you hear about plot relevant location?"
  99. Foreshadow a future plot point
  100. "So, you're finally awake, huh?"
submitted by MasterWookie to d100 [link] [comments]

Helbiz / GRNV -- bearish DD from a skeptic

Disclosure: I have no position in GRNV, nor will I ever initiate one. Disclaimer: Not a financial advisor. Do your own DD.
I've seen a couple different DD posts hyping Helbiz / GRNV, and wanted to post a bearish take as a heavy skeptic. I'm pretty familiar with the micromobility space, with some professional experience in adjacent companies, but my opinion is informed both by that experience and by some cursory digging into Helbiz.
First, micromobility is an unattractive sector, especially for a small start-up.
It's super capital-intensive. It's operations-heavy (companies hire a bunch of randos on Craigslist to basically drive around with vans at night picking up drained scooters, charging them, and then putting them back out in the city at morning.) It's a trend that has come and gone (like in China), and is now at the trough of the hype cycle.
It's also highly vulnerable to regulatory/policy risks that are trending against it; cities like SF dole out permits for small numbers of scooters, impose various restrictions/requirements around mobility access (aka companies have to put a certain number of scooters in areas that tend to see the most crime, the lowest revenues, etc.) and can revoke them at any time. There's also growing pressure to regulate them from a safety perspective - I'd bet it only takes a couple high-profile deaths from scooter accidents before NHTSA, eager to take a more active role with the new Biden administration, passes some kind of regulation restricting their usage.
There are big players with lots of money duking it out in the space, and even they aren't doing too well / are losing money. Helbiz is entering the ring against behemoths like UbeLime, Lyft, and Bird, aka companies with tons of $$$ and names you've actually heard of. And even these giants, despite their scale, willingness to burn investor money, and brand recognition, are struggling - closing down markets / laying off folks in the scooter divisions.
Also - don't forget that scooters only have any demand during nice-weather seasons. Basically $0 revenue during winter months on the east coast... wipes out a good chunk of your fiscal year.
On a personal note, I live in SF - a perfect market for scooters - and I've ended up buying my own electric scooter because the economics / convenience is just so much better. I can buy a great quality scooter for $500 and ride it whenever I want for 2+ years lifetime. Why would I pay $10 for a 2-mile, 15 min ride where I have to first hunt down a scooter in an app, make sure it's working / not vandalized, and then park it somewhere without a guarantee I'll still have it for my return trip? I think more people are making the same realization, and every incremental scooter sold for personal use permanently removes one potential customer of shared scooter companies.
Second, even if micromobility were an awesome/profitable business, Helbiz is the absolute last horse I'd bet on.
Helbiz was apparently originally a sketchy crypto company that had an ICO in Feb 2018 which lost investors a lot of money. They're now facing a class-action lawsuit and hiding all traces of their involvement with the previous ICO. Even if their ICO wasn't fraudy/sketchy (but it is), why the hell would that translate into any kind of expertise relevant to starting a micromobility company?
Helbiz recently bought Skip, which at least is an actual micromobility company I've heard of -- too bad they're also one of the *worst* micromobility companies I've heard of. They're super small, unprofitable, and only currently operating in Washington, D.C. They shut down their other markets like SF because they lost their permits for safety reasons (scooters catching on fire, NBD) and were losing money. Basically Helbiz bought a dying business for the name recognition - not a great sign.
Also - apparently Helbiz wants to set up ghost kitchens for restaurants? Which has nothing to do with and no synergies with shared scooters. Seems an awful lot like they're just hopping on whatever trends are hyped on Techcrunch, except about 2 years late to each. No focus or discipline. And they only did ">$4M" in revenue in 2020, are operating in just a handful of cities, and are being valued at $400M+ somehow? Yeesh.
In a nutshell I see 0 indication that they have any competitive advantage at all in the space - no scale, no proprietary tech, no operational expertise, no regulatory capture, no strategic partnerships / industry connections. Just Chinese money backing a shady crypto conman in an environment where people are willing to throw too much money at them. When people talk about how the SPACsplosion is going to lead to more and more dilution of quality targets, Helbiz is exactly the kind of turd I imagine.
Anyway - hope my thoughts are helpful to at least someone trying to do research / consider the fundamentals. Of course I might be totally wrong and Helbiz / GRNV might take off due to hype anyway, but I'll personally be staying far away.
submitted by cogitoergognome to SPACs [link] [comments]

Immortals Fenyx Rising - Review Thread

Game Information

Game Title: Immortals Fenyx Rising
Platforms:
Trailers:
Developer: Ubisoft Quebec
Publisher: Ubisoft
Review Aggregator:
OpenCritic - 80 average - 75% recommended - 92 reviews

Critic Reviews

PS: I couldn't fit all of the reviews into this thread because of Reddit's character limit. So I removed non-English reviews from this thread. Please go to OpenCritic to see all of the available reviews.
ACG - Jeremy Penter - Buy
"One of Ubisoft's most enjoyable games this year. Exploration is top notch!"
Attack of the Fanboy - Diego Perez - 4 / 5 stars
Ubisoft has a knack for creating beautiful, expansive open worlds, but none of them are as compelling to explore as Immortals Fenyx Rising. It's a sprawling, colorful playground with plenty of nooks and crannies to get lost in.
AusGamers - KostaAndreadis - 8.6 / 10
And an adventure starring a mortal out of their depth in the land of gods and monsters and thick Greek accents.
Bazimag - Sina Golabzade - Persian - 8.4 / 10
The vast number of places Immortals Fenyx Rising were taking its core ideas from, should have made it an unimaginative title but in action, it is a very good and welcoming surprise. From its revisionist take on Greek mythology to the very intricate puzzles with many, many moving parts, this is one the most fun open world games in recent years.
But Why Tho? - Kate Sanchez - 10 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising is a visually stunning, heartfelt, and welcoming game for everyone and easily lands the honor of being my game of the year.
CGMagazine - Preston Dozsa - 3 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising has a strong argument for being the nadir of open world action-adventure games.
COGconnected - Jaz Sagoo - 87 / 100
At first glance, it may seem like Immortals is a mish-mash of several games that came before but it’s from the ashes of these that Fenyx Rises. Oozing with charm, you’ll fall in love with the characterization and delivery of the narrative and want to explore every nook and cranny of the rich and diverse Grecian world.
Cerealkillerz - Nick Erlenhof - German - 7 / 10
If you are a fan of The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and Assassin’s Creed Odyssey, you like riddles and don't really care about a good story and characters, you will like what the game has to offer. It's a colourful, amusing world with a lot of riddles and interesting fights packed in a comic version of greek mythology, with everything that ubisofts open worlds had to offer lately. Everyone else should wait for a sale.
Critical Hit - Brad Lang - 9 / 10
A consistently compelling progression curve, gorgeous world, and a staggering amount of fun content makes Immortals Fenyx Rising a truly fantastic game, even if it is rather derivative at times.
DASHGAMER.com - Dan Rizzo - 9.5 / 10
For Mythology’s legacy to be cemented, and for an impending doom to be put to rest, Immortals Fenyx Rising outperforms and outclasses many action-adventure titles released this year. With that said, Immortals Fenyx Rising is an essential for all gamers, especially those whom have brandished themselves with brand new hardware. A Game of the Year contender.
Digital Chumps - Ben Sheene - 9 / 10
Though Immortals Fenyx Rising may borrow familiar elements from other series, this new IP from Ubisoft establishes a unique identity through the lens of Greek mythology by using humor, intelligent puzzles, powerful combat, and clever world building.
Digital Trends - Tom Caswell - 4 / 5 stars
Immortals Fenyx Rising merges the best and worst of Ubisoft games with The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.
DualShockers - Sam Woods - 7.5 / 10
A vibrant, busy world means there's plenty of exploration in Immortals Fenyx Rising. It draws inspiration from some fantastic titles, however, at times struggles to really differentiate itself from those that have come before it.
EGM - Michael Goroff - 6 / 10
If it came out a few months ago or a few months later, Immortals Fenyx Rising might have stood out more. But the problem is that it's coming after a gauntlet of better Ubisoft products without doing much to improve upon the formula. Sometimes, it actively works against itself in what it's decided to steal from Breath of the Wild, too. However, its surprisingly engaging story and a late-game trek up a mountain save it from being entirely lost to history.
Easy Allies - Michael Damiani - 8 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising delivers a stylized open world odyssey that revels in its mythology.
Eurogamer - Christian Donlan - No Recommendation / Blank
This Greek myth has a few borrowings too many.
Filmweb - Anna Rogala - Polish - 7 / 10 stars
This tale about gods and monsters is a perfect example of telling Greek mythology in a right way. Such a shame that there’s to many frustrating puzzles and not enough side quest to begin with.
Gadgets 360 - Akhil Arora - 6 / 10
For all the deserved flak coming Immortals Fenyx Rising's way for delivering a brazen Zelda clone, the Ubisoft game deserves some praise for executing most of the ideas well — and even adding to them.
Game Informer - Brian Shea - 9 / 10
Rewarding exploration, satisfying combat, and imaginative puzzles converge with endearing storytelling and well-executed humor to provide an excellent open-world experience
Game Rant - Joshua Duckworth - 4 / 5 stars
Immortals Fenyx Rising is a satirical take on Greek mythology that features a gripping story mixed with familiar gameplay features.
Game Revolution - Michael Leri - 3 / 5 stars
It is not an unforgivable sin that Immortals Fenyx Rising does not live up to Breath of the Wild, a tall task that its upcoming sequel might not even be capable of doing. But it is quite disappointing that it only plays dress up with the hero’s tunic and misses what that green garment stands for. Puzzles sometimes have inventive solutions yet the good ones are drowned out by how often they repeat and how few tools Fenyx has. And the game’s colorful world isn’t a sandbox that needs exploring, but is more akin to a typical open-world map littered with repeatable, obviously marked activities. These shortcomings make it less of Ubisoft’s take on Breath of the Wild and more of a Ubisoft-branded “Breath of the Mild” that could have been so much more.
GameOnAUS - Royce Wilson - Recommended
The story is compelling enough to keep players engaged, the humour is well-pitched, and overall Immortals Fenyx Rising is a solid and enjoyable game for an oft-overlooked audience. While it’s not likely to top any Game Of The Year lists, it doesn’t have to, and as a gaming parent I’m glad to see age-appropriate adventures making an appearance for younger gamers to enjoy too.
GameSkinny - Jordan Baranowski - 8 / 10 stars
It may look like a Breath of the Wild clone, but Immortals Fenyx Rising has a lot of unique charm that makes it a must-play for fans of the genre.
GameSpew - Richard Seagrave - 8 / 10
It’s likely that those who take a chance on Immortals Fenyx Rising will be pleasantly surprised, especially once they’ve got past its opening handful of hours and developed their character a little. While it may seem a little basic at first, and players may wander into encounters that they’re really not prepared for, it soon settles down into a hugely enjoyable historical romp that is suitable for all ages and skill levels. The cutesy art style is just the icing on the cake, drawing you into a world that is charming and vibrant. With its clear Breath of the Wild inspirations, Ubisoft’s Immortals Fenyx Rising might just be the surprise hit of the year.
GameSpot - Suriel Vazquez - 7 / 10
It mostly relies on borrowed ideas, but when its snarky tone isn't getting in the way, Immortals Fenyx Rising is a solid open-world adventure.
GameXplain - GameXplain - Liked

Video Review - Quote not available

Gamerheadquarters - Jason Stettner - 8 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising is a great experience, though a tad repetitive and a bit of a grind at times as well. I might sound negative in what I’m describing, but this is a very full and enchanting time.
Gamers Heroes - Blaine Smith - 75 / 100
Immortals Fenyx Rising is a charming and fun adventure into Greek mythology with Ubisoft's trademark core design elements thrown in to support the experience. It is a worthwhile adventure for those looking to scratch that Breath of the Wild itch, but one that experienced Ubisoft fans may feel is a little too familiar.
GamesBeat - Mike Minotti - 4 / 5 stars
Immortals is not a masterpiece like the game that it takes so much inspiration from, but it is ambitious and impressive in its own right. It feels good to play, and it gives you a lot to play with. It won’t be the unforgettable adventure that Breath of the Wild is so for so many, but Immortals still offers a journey worth taking.
Gaming on PC - David Dominguez - 9 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising is a surprisingly refreshing open world adventure that is not only extremely fun to play, but also very respectful of the player’s time.
GamingBolt - Shubhankar Parijat - 7 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising is a decent – if flawed – debut for Ubisoft's newest IP. It's much more condensed and tightly packed than the publisher's games have been over the last decade, its world is beautiful, and exploration and traversal, in spite of some issues, are largely fun. At the same time, it also feels like a stripped back version of the games it tries to emulate, and with its technical issues, it unfortunately keeps getting in its own way.
GamingTrend - Ron Burke - 90 / 100
Immortals: Fenyx Rising is an excellent new adventure title for Ubisoft, full to bursting with genuine comedy, excellent gameplay, and devious puzzles. While there are a few technical hiccups, underutilized DualSense, and sub-30 fps Switch ports, the game is fantastic on all platforms. Come for the bizarre Greek mythology, stay for the stellar gameplay -- Immortals: Fenyx Rising is a fantastic holiday treat.
Glitched Africa - Marco Cocomello - 9 / 10
I hope everyone gets a chance to play Immortals: Fenyx Rising because there is a lot of fun to be had here. I found its world more interesting than Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla to the point where I actually wanted to go places and solve every single puzzle. Its combat is addictive and its character build system means you can approach it from so many ways. All this combines to deliver a fantastic adventure worth your time. Don’t let this game pass you by.
God is a Geek - Chris White - 9 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising is an excellent adventure with challenging and intricate puzzles, a wonderful combat system, and a rich world ripe for exploring. The dialogue is funny, poignant, and thrilling, with a story that explores every facet of the human condition in a way that is relatable for everyone.
Guardian - 3 / 5 stars
Ubisoft's derivative gods and monsters game has divine charm, but starts to feel like a golden cage
Hardcore Gamer - James Cunningham - 4.5 / 5
Immortals: Fenyx Rising doesn't have any right to be as good as it turned out to be.
IGN - Cam Shea - 7 / 10
With a gorgeous mythological world to fight through and explore, it's a shame Immortals Fenyx Rising's puzzles are so unremarkable.
Impulsegamer - Stephen Heller - 3 / 5
That might sound a little harsh, but in all honesty I wonder who I would recommend Immortals Fenyx Rising to. If you have children or young adults around you and you'd like to connect over a game that the whole family can play, this is definitely a safe bet. If you're not put off by the narrative that I've described here, and are looking for a decent time filler to round out your year that will put you inside a nice looking world, then yeah, this could work for you. However if you don't fit into those two groups, I think your time would be best spent playing something with a little more meaning.
Kotaku - Zack Zwiezen - Unscored
Immortals impressed me. It’s an unexpected success, blending comedy and condensed open-world gameplay into one of the most entertaining games I’ve played this year. Even if the combat lacks some variety and the main quests are a bit stale, the rest of Immortals is fantastic.
Marooners' Rock - Andrew Peggs - 9.1 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising provides a one-of-a-kind experience in both the Greek Mythology and Action-Adventure behind the game. If you’re looking for a unique game where you’ll be spending hours diving into Greek Mythology, Immortals Fenyx Rising is the perfect fit.
Nexus Hub - Vincent Kühl - 8 / 10
Ubisoft Quebec has lovingly crafted a game I can finally be excited about as much as the Assassin's Creed folk. If Immortals Fenyx Rising is to become a franchise for Ubisoft, they can take it in any direction with a vast amount of mythologies to explore.
Nintendo Life - Kate Gray - 7 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising tries to capture lightning in a bottle with its Breath of the Wild-inspired gameplay, but ends up being more of a lightning thief; it's not as nice to look at and the puzzles aren't as satisfying. Still, the combat is fun, the storytelling is excellent and, despite not being anywhere near as polished as Nintendo's 2017 effort, it certainly does a passable impression. If you crave more Zelda and don't mind the off-brand version, go for it, but if for some reason you still haven't played Breath of the Wild, then that's the game to go for.
NintendoWorldReport - Matthew Zawodniak - 6 / 10
I love the setting based in Greek mythology, and I've been enjoying the adventure almost non-stop, only ever getting bored during the icon hunt whenever I reach a new area once every couple of hours. It's a shame that Switch players will be getting such a compromised version, since I really feel like the weak port does a huge disservice to everything the game succeeds at. I think you should play Immortals: Fenyx Rising, but you should not do so on Switch if you can help it.
PC Gamer - Andy Kelly - 72 / 100
This is a fun, vibrant open world game with a great sense of humour. I just wish it felt nicer to play.
PCGamesN - Iain Harris - 7 / 10
While Ubisoft doesn't always strike the balance between Greek history and humour, Immortals Fenyx's Rising's open-world is a constant delight
PlayStation Universe - Neil Bolt - 8 / 10
With Immortals: Fenyx Rising, Ubisoft has created a refreshingly compact throwback open-world adventure that can be forgiven for its aggressive repurposing of other games best bits because it shapes them to fits its own style. The exploration is brisk and eventful, the puzzles are varied, with the right level of challenge and simplicity, and the approach to storytelling ultimately pays off. The DualSense features are a bit hit and miss, and it's not exactly the best advert for the power of PS5, but much like the game it cribs from, Immortals' qualities outshine any need for major technical showcases.
Polygon - Tyler Colp - Unscored
Maybe open-world games don't need to boast 175 hours of playtime even while torturing developers with months of crunch. Immortals, and by extension Ubisoft, isn't immune to this problem, but there are pieces here that argue for a shift in the scope of a genre that has historically been more interested in simulating the minute details of a horse's genitalia than caring for the people who worked on them. Immortals makes an impression because it's not a massive game like Assassin's Creed Valhalla, even if it benefits from the many systems and ideas that Ubisoft's open-world games have refined over the years. Its sharpest ideas have just enough time to dig in before the game smacks you back down into an experience you could have anywhere else.
PowerUp! - Leo Stevenson - 9.1 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising is the most successful Zelda-like since Darksiders. It uses Breath of the Wild as a base and delivers a colourful, vibrant world to discover.
Press Start - James Mitchell - 9 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising is an epic adventure that perfectly leverages the rich, storied history of Greek mythology with a focused and honed version of Ubisoft's now-ubiquitous open-world design. Deviating from the norm, the game's unique design and structure help Immortals be one of Ubisoft's most focused adventures and easily one of their most enjoyable yet.
Pure Xbox - PJ O'Reilly - 8 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising undoubtedly owes a huge debt to The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, borrowing wholesale as it does from its core gameplay mechanics and narrative structure. However, what Ubisoft Quebec has come up with here also adds enough of its own spin on proceedings, with a strong personality and sense of humour sat alongside some brilliantly designed puzzles, flashy, satisfying combat and a huge world full of secrets, treasures and Ancient Greek mythology to discover. It may falter slightly in the final stretch by wrestling away player freedom and funnelling you through its overly long endgame, but this is still a hugely entertaining, technically impressive Ancient Greek romp that's well worth experiencing.
Push Square - Liam Croft - 7 / 10
While Immortals Fenyx Rising may not have too many ideas to call its own, Ubisoft has created a successful amalgamation worth checking out. Simplistic but enjoyable combat provides the basis for a stunning world full of explorative opportunities and a humorous narrative that'll have you chuckling once or twice. Just don't let anyone know what the cause was. Puzzles are definitely a source of frustration, but if you can look past them, Immortals Fenyx Rising provides a formulaic but entertaining experience.
Rock, Paper, Shotgun - Alice Bell - Unscored
An imaginative, fun action game that has a nice story about family and personal growth at the heart of its epic adventure, and a good sense of humour, where you turn Aphrodite from a gracious tree back into a bitchy hot girl.
Rocket Chainsaw - Andrew Cathie - 3.5 / 5 stars
Overall, Immortals Fenyx Rising is a fun, yet unexceptional experience.
Shacknews - Ozzie Mejia - 8 / 10
Ubisoft Quebec aimed high with Immortals Fenyx Rising, crafting a new hero, an epic tale filled with larger-the-life gods and terrifying monsters, and a giant island playground. It's an exciting story filled with memorable characters, even if some of the twists near the end are a bit hard to swallow. It doesn't quite pack the same punch as the studio's previous effort, Assassin's Creed Odyssey, if only because there aren't as many NPCs or other characters to play off of. For what it is, though, Immortals is a fun island getaway with simple-to-grasp combat and a lot of well thought-out puzzles. The Immortals legend isn't fully realized yet, but this is at least a good start.
Skewed & Reviewed - Gareth von Kallenbach - 4 / 5 stars
The game is a fun and immersive adventure which will provide gamers with plenty of hours of enjoyment.
Stevivor - Steve Wright - 7.5 / 10
Though it liberally borrows from Breath of the Wild, Immortals Fenyx Rising is fresh and fun, offering up an exciting new IP I hope to see more of. That said, its endgame pacing issues certainly don’t do it any favours, nor does the timing of its release.
TechRaptor - 7 / 10
Immortals: Fenyx Rising is a vast and entertaining adventure with excellent gameplay. Unfortunately, the storyline and quest system are weak and the game feels rushed. It's a fun game but one that lives in Breath of the Wild's shadow.
TheGamer - Cian Maher - 4 / 5 stars
From stoner oracles to gods who have been turned into trees, to the sheer batshittiness of its entire cast of gods and monsters, Immortals Fenyx Rising is a genuine joy to play, and a real treat for Greek mythology lovers.
TheSixthAxis - Aran Suddi - 8 / 10
Putting the obvious parallels to one side, Immortals Fenyx Rising is a thoroughly enjoyable game. The main character is very likeable, and the humour between the characters is great, while the Golden Isle looks fantastic and is filled with content without also feeling overwhelming. It takes a while for the combat to grow, and the end portion of the game drags on, but if you want a fun and compact open world game then Immortals Fenyx Rising is well worth playing.
TrueAchievements - Luke Albiges - 4 / 5 stars
Questionable writing aside, Immortals Fenyx Rising represents a strong start for Ubisoft's new IP. There's plenty more that could be done with the archives of Greek mythology left relatively untouched here — some of which will no doubt be covered in upcoming DLC — but the same format could easily be applied to other pantheons, just as Assassin's Creed uses different iconic time periods as its backdrop each instalment. Mechanics are fast, fluid, and flexible, while visuals are crisp, clean, and colourful, even if the art style might not be to everyone's tastes.
VG247 - Lauren Aitken - 4 / 5 stars
As far as next-gen titles go, Immortals Fenyx Rising is definitely one you should be adding to your list. It’s available on almost every platform – sorry, mobile gamers – and looks fantastic on the Xbox Series X, which I got to review it on. Overall, it’s a charming, cerebral and funny time-sink adventure that’ll really cheer you up and distract you if you’re having a quiet festive season this year.
Vamers - Edward Swardt - 95 / 100
Immortals Fenyx Rising is an incredible title. While the aesthetic might not be for everyone and its open-world nature will eventually become repetitive, the game is so chock-full of optional content and beautiful vistas that this eventuality will take a long time to reach. The story is wonderfully narrated and crafted to work incredibly well with the graphical design of the game too. Better still, the humorous approach to ancient Greek mythology alongside the bold and colourful aesthetic; all wonderfully complement each other in ways that only Legend of Zelda games have been capable of in the past. It is rare for any company, let alone Ubisoft, to bring out a brand-new Intellectual Property and for it to reign supreme right from the start. However, Immortal Fenyx Rising certainly manages this seemingly impossible feat with aplomb. Fenyx is a relatable character, and the incredible narration between Zeus and Prometheus are wonderfully nostalgic for any lover of Saturday Morning Cartoons. The gameplay constantly makes players want to come back for more, with countless secrets, puzzles and story elements to keep players engaged for hours and hours of enjoyment. Immortals Fenyx Rising is very near perfect, and ticks all the right boxes for a game that is gorgeous, enjoyable, addictive and highly entertaining.
Wccftech - Francesco De Meo - 8 / 10
Despite a huge lack of innovation, bearing more than a passing resemblance to Zelda: Breath of the Wild's central mechanics, Immortals: Fenyx Rising is a great open-world game featuring a light-hearted, humorous tone, great combat, tons of content, and a well-designed main quest. It's also reminiscent, in a good way, of 3D puzzle games from the PlayStation 2 and GameCube era. Sure, the game does suffer a bit from the usual Ubisoft open-world design bloat, but do not let this put you off: Fenyx's journey to save the Greek Gods and restore the world to its former beauty is one worth experiencing.
WellPlayed - Kieron Verbrugge - 9 / 10
Immortals is more than just a fun open-world with slick combat and massive Breath of the Wild vibes, it's also a superbly written and legitimately funny take on Greek mythology. This is one of Ubisoft's best games in years
Windows Central - Jennifer Locke - 4.5 / 5 stars
Ubisoft created an instant classic with Immortals Fenyx Rising, and I'm eager to see where the franchise goes from here. Its breathtaking art style and landscapes are complemented by fun combat and thoughtful puzzles. While the story itself isn't anything special, the humor imbued within each conversation makes it memorable.
Worth Playing - Chris "Atom" DeAngelus - 8 / 10
Overall, Immortals: Fenyx Rising is a good game. It's a shameless clone, but it's fun, and it's clear that Ubisoft's take on the formula was done with enthusiasm. If you were disappointed that this year's Breath of the Wild game was a Dynasty Warriors title, then Immortals might scratch that itch. It's always going to live in the shadow of the games that inspired it, but sometimes, all you want to do is climb some cliffs and slay some monsters, and Immortals provides exactly what it promises.
Xbox Achievements - Matt Lorrigan - 85 / 100
Immortals Fenyx Rising is a strange beast, then. Much of it feels very familiar, and you won’t find many things here that haven’t been done before. Yet, it manages to pull together so many different aspects with such proficiency and love for the source material that it’s impossible not to simply enjoy soaking it all up, in an adventure worthy of the Greek heroes of old.
ZTGD - Ken McKown - 9.5 / 10
Immortals Fenyx Rising is by far one of the best surprises of 2020. It shot directly up to the top of my best games of the year. I cannot express how much fun I had with this game. I kept coming back to it with tons of other titles calling for my attention. It is the best game Ubisoft has dropped this year and the promise of more DLC has me dreaming of returning to the world. With back to back excellent outings the AC Odyssey team continues to impress me. I cannot wait to see what they do after they wrap up the DLC for this game. Do not sleep on this title, it is one of the best of the year by a longshot.
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can you bet on your own horse video

If your horse finishes second you collect only the place payoff. Obviously, it is better if your horse wins, but the additional place option in this type of bet offers you a chance to recoup some of your investment if your horse fails to win but still finishes second. Across the Board Betting - When you bet a horse across the board, your horse must In a place/show bet, you’re betting that your horse will place and show. If your horse finishes second, you collect the place and show money; if he finishes third, you just get the show money. Because you’re placing multiple wagers on your horse in a single bet, a win/place and place/show is more expensive. You can get your own horse, buy food and tack for it, race it, and take care of it like you would a real pony. You can take it to the park and have a ton of fun. I definitely recommend you try it. Can horse owners bet on their horse is a question we often get asked and the answer is – yes – though this does come with a caveat. Horse owners can place win or each-way bets on their horses, which includes ante-post markets, early-bird markets, and day of the race markets. Most bookmakers place a limit upon the total pay-out they will provide to punters rather than on the total amount you can bet in the first place. The limits which bookies do place upon pay-outs – and in some rare cases on stake amounts – do differ from one bookmaker to another. Maximum Bet Amounts At Online Bookmakers: Favorite Answer. No, a jockey with a current license to ride is not allowed to own a racehorse or bet on horses due to conflict of interest. Arkansas R. 1206 " No person licensed as a jockey at... If your horse is scratched before the race (by the veterinarian, for example), then I think your wager automatically is coverted to as if you bet on the post-time favorite. If you don't like that horse, you have to hustle to the windows and change your bet. When you bet on a horse race, you also bet on what position that horse finishes. You may bet on a horse to "win, place, or show" or all three (each bet costs more money). Live Horse Racing . Wager on the places and win even after the stalls have opened. You don’t even have to go the extra mile to wager since Sportsbet.io features its own in-play betting and a live streaming for you. With our in-play betting, you can easily hedge your bets on the horses with the best turn of foot. For arguments sake lets say that 2:1 is the lowest price you will accept and in all 5 of the races you decide to bet the horse is going off at 2:1. If you bet $2 to win on each of those horses in every race you will have bet a total of $10. A winning horse that goes off at odds of 2:1 will return $6.00. You will need to win 2 out of 5 races to show a profit. By being right 40% of the time you can make money betting on 2:1 shots at the racetrack.

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can you bet on your own horse

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