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Going to Vegas in July - I've been doing my research so hope this can help others.

I'm going in July and have done some research.
Plenty of this is from the sidebar, but other notes are from many of other sources.
The Vegas Degenerate Tour ( . ) ( . )
Things to do:
Tips:
Clubs
Food
Sex/Swingers Clubs (Or; no, you filthy pervert - what's wrong with you?)
Drive:
Drive along east CA down US-395 and crossing over to Nevada after Death Valley is one of the greatest drives I have ever done.
Guides:
Edited to include corrections.
submitted by mkgl to vegas [link] [comments]

SHOT 2017/My tales of adventure in Las Vegas

So, you wanna go to SHOT show? You think it's all fun and games? Get to play with guns? See Jesse James and R. Lee Ermey? SHOT show is the annual pilgrimage of the unwashed masses to Las Vegas to rub elbows with youtube celebrities, bloggers and overseas businessmen copying US made equipment and share infectious disease.
If you love guns, gambling and gonorrhea - SHOT show is for you! It is not my typical idea of a good time. I am not a big fan of Las Vegas.
However: I do attend for a few reasons. First, I do enjoy travel and I'm platinum on AA so I can usually score an upgrade. Second, industry people are in there that I do hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars with business with so it's nice to put a face with the name and see what deals are out there. SHOT for me has been a bust for the past few years. Being a value guy, I want to buy at $1000 and sell at $3000 and as of recently the gun business is more like buy for $1 and sell for $1.10 if you get what I mean.
We used to do business at SHOT and now it's just checking in on foursquare, instagram and rubbing elbows with bloggers and the like. I want to make money, not spend money so this is very annoying to me.
Anyways, onto the play by play.
Monday, January 16th. One day before SHOT show.
http://imgur.com/a/HoFUm
Every time I've been rejected by a woman, I move $1 from checking into savings and I take the bankroll down to the Wynn for some play. Lets do this.
The TSA line is a shitshow thanks to, well TSA.
I slog my way to the lounge, as shitty as it is to wait for my winged chariot to DFW. I have gone from being in an abusive relationship with Delta to being in an abusive relationship with AA. Although if you really want to experience the battered spouse feeling, UA is a few gates over. This trip's light reading is trying to finish "The Tipping Point" by Malcolm Gladwell. Such a good book as well as "Outliers" if you want a good read.
I walk up to the podium to find out that my upgrades do not clear, even as an AA Plat thanks to the addition of a FOURTH elite tier. Goddamn fucking W. Doug Parker. Asshole. I gate check my bags to make life easier for me and the rest of the folks. The gate agent calls concierge key and executive platinum passengers. I look down and realize I'm wearing a suit and board with the executive platinum folks because I do not care and I look the part. If you walk with a purpose and are dressed reasonably well, you fit the profile. I settle into my window seat and try to finish outliers. I pass out before takeoff and I'm awoken by the dulcet tones of the flight attendants preparing for landing. We land at Dallas a few minutes early and I hightail it to the Centurion for a quick bite to eat. I grab a plate and help myself to some of the excellent brisket, pecan encrusted chicken and some roasted jumbo asparagus. Yes, my pee is going to smell funny. No, I do not care. The lounge is packed. The bar is full and I grab a quick single malt as I have my meal since American's not going to feed me. They begin boarding to Mccarran as I walk out of the lounge. No time for a stop in the spa on this trip. I make it to the gate just as the call group 2 boarding.
I bypass the main line and walk up through the priority line giving no heed to the people that have been waiting there before me as I hold up my paper boarding pass with PLATINUM to the gate agent. I board and take my usual seat - the exit row without the seat in front of it. I'm aghast to see this sight.
http://imgur.com/a/dygil
The savages. Literally. The savages.
I put my loathing away for a moment and look down at the exit row. I have the window. The aisle is a large middle aged man and in the middle is what I believe to be a formecurrent linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys wearing a 52 regular sports jacket. He's not a fat guy in a little coat, he's a big fucking hulk of a man stuffed in an exit row seat that is already an inch narrower due to the tray table. I grimace as I take my seat and give him the manly nod. He does not look happy about the fact that his knees are in the seat in front and I'm stretched out like a Cheshire cat in front of a fireplace on a cold January afternoon.
The boarding door closes for an on time departure and Stephanie the FA takes her seat. He leans over and asks if he can take the empty row across the aisle and she takes one look at the three of us and gives him the nod. I bail out to give him a path of egress and suddenly the trip to Las Vegas has just become way more comfortable. I finish The Tipping Point somewhere over west texas, so I pop a xanax and dr pepper and zone out for the rest of the ride. I awake to feel one of the FA's jostling me awake telling me to put my seat up. I do so and we have a ride so smooth that not even the Delta guy behind me can complain about light chop. We catch the TYSSN4 arrival and the next thing I know it the Messier Dowty landing gear of the A321 touch the paint at Mccarran for a smooth rollout down 25L.
My phone battery is approaching grim death since this seat has no power plugs and I find bartman383 has sent me a message. He has been enjoying LV with his wife and their due to bad weather they are in the city of sin for a few extra nights. He invites me to dinner. I'm still pretty full from DFW and I tell him I'll be over there once I get my bags and the car and I'll see him when I see him. He gives me the info for the hotel as we pull up to the gate.
First stop: Centurion lounge. AA's app tells me bags being unloaded. I grab a quick bite of fried chicken and brussels sprouts since they are good for you and a chocolate pudding. The brisket and pecan encrusted chicken from DFW still has me full but I'm well aware of the speed of a union baggage handlers nowadays and who doesn't like chocolate pudding? Terrorists. That's who. Want to know how to screen for terrorists TSA? Set up a table of free chocolate pudding at the airport. The people who don't take any are members of ISIS. It's just that simple.
I grab my bag and hoof it to Hertz. I'm an idiot and I am an hour late for my pickup. Oops. Will an Audi A3 suffice? I sigh and I accept my Teutonic quattro chariot. I do a burnout in the parking garage and hightail it to the exit. I flash my #1 card and my ID and the gatekeeper gives me the go ahead. I get onto the the strip and traffic is awful. I'm going to be late for dinner. I make a left onto Russell Road and hightail it up the 15. I manage to get the car up to 100 as I pass the Luxor. My phone is dead so I can't message Bart about being late. Fuck. The exit approaches quickly as I put the 4 wheel disk brakes to work and sling the car around and head south on Las Vegas Bl. I accidentally turn into the Bellagio and I'm now running even more late. Fuck. Eventually, I get the car into the garage at the Cosmopolitan and head upstairs. I cannot remember the name of the restaurant but I head up to the third floor where all the restaurants are and I see this sign that's reminiscent of my days in retail.
It says RESTAURANT - LOUNGE - PAWN SHOP.
I laugh. I walk in. It's literally a pawnshop. I look around puzzled.
FC: Is this a restaurant?
Bald Headed Guy: Yes, through that door.
He points towards a door. I walk in to find a bustling restaurant, lounge via the entrance of pawnshop. This is insane. I pass a mirror and check myself out. I adjust my tie, after all it is YSL and the ladies LOVE YSL. Remember that. I find the hostess and inform her I will be joining some friends for dinner. They probably do not have me on the reservation though but I turn on the charm and she smiles and says no problem at all. She asks if my tie is from Hermes. I say no, I'm a YSL guy. She looks impressed as I tell her I'll make a quick lap of the room to see if they're there and surprise them. She gives me a nod and tells me to go right ahead. Still got it.
I spot bart and his wife who I can only remember vaguely from gunnitlive after party video and I pull up a chair. Bart is surprised to see I made it and they are in the middle of dinner. They offer to ply me with food and beverage but I decline as I'm driving so no booze for me and no food since I am stuffed from Dallas. We chat about life and liberty over libations. Bart's wife thinks I am hysterical. She's had a few drinks and they are already into their main courses. The brussels sprouts are way too salty and we have to send it back. No bueno.
Bart invites me up to his suite on the top floor of the hotel where we are to meet Brogelicious later in the evening. I say, when in rome......we head to the top floor of the hotel tower where Bart shows me his view from the balcony and cracks open the mini bar for some more libations. He asks if I want a drink and I say I better not. I'm driving.
Not 30 seconds after arriving, brogel shows up. Bart's wife hugs brogel. She's infatuated with him. We start shooting the shit and bart opens up the minibar and tells us to take anything we want, it's on the hotel. I laugh and I look outside as bart opens his yeti 110 for some silver bullets. Apparently he is so baller the hotel will send up a yeti 110 filled with beer to make him happy. His wife is apparently such a baller. I ball on a budget. They just ball. Hahaha.
We shoot the shit some more about guns, gun stuff and people on the reddit for a while. I get a little thirsty and I crack open bart's cooler. I ask him how long the stuff in the cooler is supposed to last and he says until Wednesday.
I look down and I am agape at what I see.
We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.
I mentally prepared my butthole and I decided to help myself to a coors light against my wishes but Bart, Bart's wife and Brogel are all drinking so I let peer pressure take hold as I cracked open a beer with them. We head out to the balcony to smoke some cuban cigars together as bart's wife takes a photo of all of us. We all look like hell. Haha.
As bart downs his second beer, he asks me a question.
Bart: ever go hunting?
Me: Ducks a little bit but not much
Bart: ever want to hunt some deadly game?
Me: Like on african safari?
Bart: No, I mean like.........man.
Me: Hahahahhahaaha you're just fucking with me. Hahahahahhaa. That's really funny.
Bart: No really, the concierge here at this hotel will set it up for us. It's amazing. I remember my first hunt......
Brogel starts laughing and I realize they've been doing a bit. I've been had.
We bullshit about SHOT and Barrett's shotguns and other things and next thing I know, it's late but bart hands me a mixed drink. I sip it a bit and I was in the middle of a tirade complaining about my customers. Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the city, and a voice was screaming: Holy Jesus. What are these goddamn animals? Nobody seems to understand what I'm talking about. It's cold on the balcony. Our cigars are done. We head indoors. No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bastards will see them soon enough.
Back indoors I realize Brussels sprouts and coors light is a bad choice. Seriously no bueno. I excuse myself to the bathroom and drain the vein. The asparagus funny smelling pee and the side effects of beer and brussels sprouts is a noxious combination that a defense contractor should weaponize it. It's pretty bad and not even cuban tobbaco can mask the smell.
I sit back down and continue to talk about guns and stuff with bart and the gang and bart asks who ruined the bathroom. I apologize as he sprays a bunch of febreze around and opens the balcony. I apolgize to brogel. He is not accepting my apology. (sorry :( )
Nearly 11, it's about time to pull chocks and mosey on down the dusty trail. I don't want to prompt an evacuation of the hotel due to noxious odors so I decide to leave and bart seems to be kinda mad that I've ripped ass and polluted the sanctuary of his hotel. Half a coors light and brussels sprouts are no bueno in my book now. Bart decides to party hard with his wife and I offer brogel a ride home. He seems skeptical to share a confined space with me after I have just destroyed bart's hotel room. The car has 4 windows and the Uber will cost him a few bucks he can put towards ammo. He relents as we head down to the garage to find my car. Thankfully we find it quickly and I manage to contain the weapons of ass destruction for the 16 minute ride off strip to casa de brogel.
He says I'm not that bad a dude and I agree as I hightail it to my hotel. I cannot find my hotel reservations so I call my travel agent to see.
Apparently the Wynn was not in my travel budget this year. I have come to find out I have been booked at Circus Circus, much to my chagrin. How bad could it be? I've stayed at the Wynn. I've stayed at Encore. I've stayed at the hotel that Elisabeth Shue's character got raped in in Leaving Las Vegas - but Circus Circus? Did I mention that I HATE CLOWNS? I HATE CLOWNS. Fuck.
I pull into the parking garage and the check in line resembles something straight out of the TSA line at Mccarran. 45 minutes to check in. The clerk is friendly and says he's also from Louisiana which is neat. He asks if I've stayed there before and I, being a connoisseur of old vegas history I decide to make a joke and I tell him the last time I was there, Jay Sarno owned the place. He got a laugh. I head up to my room and unpack. The lobby is clean as an old vegas casino can be, the room is clean and there's no way to plug anything in since the hotel predates personal electronic devices. I plug my phone into my external battery and collapse on the bed. I message Bart and chugbleach instead of falling asleep about show tomorrow and I offer to pick bart up early since there is no shuttle from the cosmo.
Tuesday, November 16th SHOT Show Day One
I awoke several hours later in a daze......the clock said 10AM. The show opened at 8:30. Fuck me to tears. I hurry up and get dressed and down to the sands convention center. The parking lot is FULL. The entire complex is a mess. When my man Steve Wynn built his joint he didn't build enough parking. So people would park at the Venetian and now FUCKING NOBODY CAN GET A PARKING SPACE. Holy shit. I eventually say fuck it and park over at the Wynn and walk over to the Sands. I meet up with a few of my regular suppliers and I see nothing interesting at all. Bart went to bed at 6AM after spending all night partying with his wife over at the palazzo. I joke and say that he just should have stayed there. Bart is amazed at the size of the show and we have lunch at the most disgusting place in las vegas - the convention center bistro snack bar. Bart is a wise man as he grabs a powerade and a fruit cup. I decide to try an "italian beef" and a fruit cup instead of fries to stay semi health conscious. The "italian beef" is the most disgusting thing I have ever eaten. It is flat out depressing. They give me fries with it and I demand a fruit cup. The sassy black woman working the stand asks me "DID YOU ASK FOR FRUIT? CAUSE RIGHT HERE SAYS FRIES" and I channel my inner Louis CK from the "this is how I talk" bit from SNL as I shoot back "WHY YOU FRONTIN ON ME I ASKED FOR FRUIT AND YOUR ASS BETTER BACK UP AND GET ME SOME FRUIT" so she goes back and gets me some fruit.
The "italian beef", my fruit cup, bart's fruit cup and powerade comes to $81. My platinum amex comes out and I treat bart to "lunch". We bullshit about guns and stuff in the Springfield booth as we wait at the world's worst concession stand. We eat and Bart is so hungover that he thinks he is in need of physical therapy and a wheelchair. There is no way he is going to party tonight before his trip home. Or so I think. Haha.
I meander around the show a bit more and I find this, the most USELESS PRODUCT OF 2017. It's made by a company called radetec.
http://imgur.com/a/GOiCB
It's a shot counter. For your gun.
A digital odometer, for your gun.
The only person that would buy this is the guy like my dad that kept a spiral bound notebook in his car where he documented how many miles he traveled per tank, gallons dispensed, PRICE, service station and whether they had a different price for cash/charge, oil consumption, tire rotations, alignments, all services - scheduled or otherwise, and a running odometer. Does anyone know the gun owner who asks for a round count when they are looking at a used gun? The question I always shoot back is "do you want to be lied at a little or do you want to be lied at a lot?" because that's what you're asking for when you ask for round count.
UNLESS YOU BUY THIS PRODUCT!
I roll my eyes so far back into my head that I nearly lose my balance. This is idiotic. I cannot fathom anyone willing to buy this. What a waste of perfectly good exhibition space.
Bart heads back to his hotel after visiting SHOT show for a few hours, not getting any swag and to get an IV of fluids since he looked like he was rapidly approaching grim death.
I wrap up visiting prime vendors and checking out the new products, or lack thereof because I have something on the schedule. At 4:30 there's a suicide prevention for retailers seminar hosted by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. As many of you know this is an issue that is important to me and perhaps we as retailers should be doing more. The keynote was from their chief medical director talking about the accessibility of firearms and the mindset of the "typical" suicide. Mostly men. If you are a veteran you are at a significantly larger risk. The information was presented very not surprisingly and one of the things discussed was that we only spend around 21M a year on suicide prevention.
A few take away facts from the keynote:
When suicide barriers are put up on a bridge, suicide rates for the entire area drop. The key to preventing suicide is getting people to talk about their problems. Once you can get someone out of that mindset, they are statistically less likely to do it and live productive lives afterwards. There are certain terms that they are trying to get away from - for instance, they are not saying "committed suicide" they are now saying "died by suicide" in order to bring awareness and tell it like it is.
One thing that really was interesting to me was my reading on the flight in from Dallas. In The Tipping Point, Gladwell discusses how things stay the same and suddenly they all change. One of the things that he discusses is in micronesia - where teen suicide was practically unheard of became an outright epidemic. One teenager did it, for reasons passing understanding to me as an outsider and then all the other kids realized that they too could escape their pain by hanging themselves as well and suddenly the suicide rates in micronesia became so high to where it became a public health issue. I wish I could show you all the article I wrote on TTAG about my friend's death but it has been lost in the cloud and I am unable to find the last draft I sent to print, but it echoes some of the problems we have with suicide and mental health in the firearm industry.
After the keynote, the good doctor opened the floor up for questions. Her keynote posed a lot of statistics but not a lot of answers. I am a detail oriented granular data guy and I did not get a solid grasp of the AFSP solutions posed, if any.
Several firearm dealers discussed the lack of a cohesive solution and the takeaway was they're trying to develop awareness for the suicide problem. Their goal is to lower suicide rates but how they get there is yet to be determined. I didn't like hearing that and the comments from the crowd reflected the lack of a "here's what you can do TODAY to help this problem" part of the initiative.
Going around the room, one dealer who used NICS said that if a customer was just flat out acting funny - he'd lie to the customer and say there was a delay with NICS even though there was an approval just to get them to not be able to have a gun for a few days. The crowd applauded this initiative, however I'm not sure lying to customers is the best way to run a business and treat them with respect. Another dealer brought up an interesting point. When someone comes in looking to buy a gun and they don't know what kind of gun they want, what caliber, and are generally clueless - they're either buying a gun to kill themselves with, OR perhaps they are a very uneducated prospective customer - and there is no clear way of finding out which is which.
The problems presented by the AFSP are real. The solutions aren't there though. Yet. Ideally I'd like to see some change to that. However, there's some problems.
I hung around and asked the good doctor and her staff some questions and I am in no way denigrating her life's work and her dedication to preventing suicide since she has dedicated her life's work to the issue, but the conversation went something like this.
Did you do any research on the accessibility of firearms from a retailer from the legal standpoint?
"No, we haven't"
Do you know how the NICS or state POC background systems work in regard to mental health holds, etc?
"No"
One of the problems that I foresee right off the bat is that you talked about how you are fighting time, and if you can get someone out of that suicide mindset - even for a few hours, you can get them into that higher survival bracket. If we apply a one size fits all solution to it like California and put a 10 day wait on everything with the goal of protecting someone from their own life, how do we balance that with the needs of the woman who has been hiding from her abusive spouse and needs a gun right away?
"That's a good question that I don't have an answer for."
Their initiative, I admire - the lack of solutions is a little off putting however. I tell the doc about how my friend's suicide has impacted me and she seems to be sympathetic to the situation as does her colleagues. I am given her cards and told to call the next time I'm in New York so we can get together and discuss things within the industry. I'll give them a buzz in a few weeks when I'm up there on business. On my way out of the hall, I run into Massad Ayoob. Nice guy. I've admired his work over the years. Bart invites myself and chugbleach to dinner, I can't reach Chug and even though I am beat I decide to hang out with Bart and Mrs Bart
Bart: What do you want to eat?
FC: Let's find a nice seafood restaurant and eat some red salmon, I feel a powerful lust for red salmon.
I begin vomiting.
God damn mescaline. Why the fuck can't they make it a little less pure?
We eventually head downstairs and order too much food. We are tired and not very hungry. Bart is still hungover and barely able to process food. His wife is grazing on all sorts of meat products. I am in awe of how they are both still upright after six nonstop nights of partying. I've only been here one day and I feel like I am about to die.
Dinner concludes with an awkward hug with bart's wife - I don't know how other men feel about wife hugs so I have just avoided the prospect entirely. Like flying through Denver on Frontier. Or flying on Frontier. Ever.
I drive over to the Wynn to set up my markers and the poker room is full. I draw a $2500 marker at the craps table and watch the game a bit. I have never played craps before in my life but the three people there seem to be having fun.
I look down at my phone and I realize a plane has landed. fluffy_butternut has landed in Las Vegas on business. I had lost a bet and offered to pick him up from the airport. I cash back in my chips against my casino credit and head back to my car. I cannot find my car. Fuck. I wander the wynn garage which is covered in construction debris. I eventually find it and haul ass to the airport. Now, I didn't know this but fluffy has the WORST SENSE OF DIRECTION AT ALL. Seriously. I have no idea how he even made it to the correct city. He lands and has to get his bag and stuff and I circle the airport. He lets me know he's at door 77 wherever the fuck that was. I drive into the pickup portion and I see no sign. He then says he's coming up a level, and I tell him that I'll be there shortly. I park the car and Metro PD starts yelling.
Metro: You can't park your car here.
FC: Why not? Is this not a reasonable place to park?
Metro: Reasonable? You're on a sidewalk! This is the sidewalk!
I give the man a $20 and tell him to keep it running as I wander Mccarran screaming FLUFFY! HERE FLUFFY! I message fluffy to let him know I am the car parked on the sidewalk. I instantly figure out who he is having never seen a photo of him and I throw his bags into the car as we head for his hotel. I haul ass out of the airport and get the A3 on the highway.
Now this was a superior machine. Thirty nine grand worth of gimmicks and high-priced special effects. The rear windows lit up with a touch like frogs in a dynamite pond. The dashboard was full of esoteric lights and dials and meters that I would never understand.
We check in at the Rio where the desk clerk is friendly and flirty. I express amazement there is no line. Fluffy checks in and we take his bags upstairs and he offers to buy me food for driving him to the airport. I decline. We head to the bar anyways. He orders two beers and we decide to call chug. He's staying out in Summerlin or something because his company is apparently run by cheapskates. He asks if we want to hang out and shoot the shit. I say sure and ask if he wants us to pick up food or anything from CVS or something since I have the car and I'm able to do anything I want. He asks for some toothpaste. No problem. I may be an asshole on the internet but I have a heart of gold. We get some toothpaste get to the hotel.
Arriving at the lobby, we have no idea where he is. It turns out he gave us the address for the hotel across the street. We laugh and go to that lobby and shoot the shit till 3AM much to the chagrin of the hotel clerk. Fluffy has some beers and we plan on dinner the next day. I drive fluffy back and arrive at the hotel at 4. Fuck me to tears.
Wednesday, January 18th. Day 2 of SHOT show.
Alarm goes off at 7:30 AM. I wash up, eat and get breakfast. In the garage by 8:15. Nice. I get some dillo dust and check out the new Sig 220 DA/SA and SAO legions. Daddy likey. I go to a competing firm and I piss of my state sales manager by telling him his newer designed triggers suck ass. He says the company tested them and they're the same in every way. I ask him why the triggers have two different part numbers in the catalog and how come they're not interchangeable and if that's really the case, how come there's X changes in the supposedly identical pistol parts that he's holding side by side. He gets mad at me and says I'm not an expert on their product and perhaps I should take his job since I'm so smart. I agree that I'm smart and I hold firm that if he didn't want me to complain about the shitty trigger, they should stop selling guns with shitty triggers. I am nearly kicked out of the booth.
I meet up with some of my wholesale reps and I'm mid convo when I see Itsgoodsoup and his friend walking around the show. I yell SOUP but he does not hear me. So I grab his friend and find him and I tell him we should get together at dinner with fluffy and chug. He agrees.
The show winds down, I get some business done and nothing much else. We break for a shitty gunnit live lite and I take a few questions from the crowd in fluffy's suite at the Rio. Dinner is at 8 and we arrive at the restaurant late to find soup and his friend sitting at one table and chug and his girlfriend sitting at another. Perhaps we should have gotten here a little earlier. Hahaha. So, fluffy said the place is really good and I order a few of the specialties of the house. Apparently according to yelp they do a kickass peking duck. Soon to be mrs chug is a vegan. But we can eat meat in front of her. I wonder how it's served and Soup's vancouver raised asian friend tells me that they normally carve it tableside. Our vegan says as long as there's no head she's cool. We're not sure if they can fulfill that request. So we order and food starts coming out and we tell tall tales of shot show BS and other stuff. Sure enough, the duck comes out with the head. No bueno. Haha. But I decide to treat us to vegan donuts at the vegan bakery across the street later. Seven courses later we are full. Vegan bakery closed. I am committed to getting her some vegan donuts though. We head to Fremont street to gamble. Fluffy wanders about and we try craps and we're not impressed. We hit some slots and eventually I hit the craps table where chug explains the game to me. We start betting on dice. And somehow we start winning. I find that the house allows you to take 10X behind the line. No idea what this means so I plop $5 on the pass line and the point hits 6. I drop $50 behind it and it hits. We go a few rounds and leave ahead. It's 2:30 AM. Fuck. I drive everyone back to their hotel. I get to sleep around 4.
Thursday, January 19th. Day 3 of SHOT show.
Wake up at 10AM feeling like crap. Debate whether to head straight to show and wander about. Fuck it. Went to halal guys for some halal. Delicious. Got vegan donuts. Dead drop them at the Palazzo lobby for chug and his girl. Show is a bust. Literally nothing exciting. Fluffy offers to buy me dinner. One of my customers who lives in Summerlin offers to take me to dinner. I pass on fluffy and he destroys the seafood buffet at the rio. I head to Sinatra at the Wynn for dinner with my customer. All good in the hood. Chug has been invited to the Glock dinneafter party and I'm not so we all go our separate ways. I call foghorn5950 and due to some weather, he's flying home early and our plans to hangout are fucked up unless I go tonight. I grab fluffy and we head to Whiskey Down. He orders a makers and I give him a funny look. I tell the waitress make it a bulleit. Everyone laughs. I talk shop with Jeremy also from TTAG and we shoot the shit over cigars and talk about useless products. Next thing we know, chug is out of the dinner and wandering the strip. We decide to meet up at the Linq. It takes us nearly 30 minutes to get out of Whiskey Down at MGM because the waitress was awful and messed up everyone's tab. It was a fucking disaster. To boot, MGM is now charging for parking.
FC: What a bunch of fucking jews
Fluff: You should just tailgate that lady in front of you out and screw them out of the $7
FC: I should
We pull behind her and watch as she gets flustered at the awful parking machine. Her nevada license plate says VETERAN. As the gate goes up we haul ass and screw MGM out of $7. I shout "THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE" out the window as we blow right by her up to the Linq. Through fluffy's awful navigation, we wind up at the loading dock for the Linq. Eventually we find chug and gf hanging at the penny slots. They are holding vegan donuts, which she is very appreciative of. Least I could do after showing her the head. Fluffy plays the House of Cards slot machine.
He stuck $100 in, played for 6 minutes and then got really mad and hit the cash out button and $80 was left after 5 minutes.
ITS EXACTLY LIKE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT!
Chug's gf asks to play a special slot machine called kitty glitter. We ask and the linq does not offer it but Harrahs next door does. So we head over there and the slot tech finds the kitty glitter machine. Fluffy sticks a C note in there and tells her to play and have a blast. So she's banging away at the one armed bandit WHEN SUDDENLY I HEAR THE SOUND.
It's PUTTIN ON THE RITZ in shitty .wav file internal speaker format. Hahah. She's just hit the progressive jackpot on the penny KITTY GLITTER machine. THIS PLACE IS AWESOME! We cash out after some play and a good time was had by all. I dump off fluffy at the rio since it was very close and drive everyone else back. It's late, I'm tired and the Palace Station oyster bar is open 24 hours......I head over there and there's a 45 minute wait.
So, I pull out my backup bankroll and using everything chug and fluffy have taught me about craps I belly up to the $3 min table where they let you take 10x behind the line. I'm still learning and the table is slow so one of the boxmen start explaining the game to me.
Box: So if you place the 6 or the 9 or individual numbers you can bet those but you gotta pay a little juice on it like a commission
Me: Like when you buy the hook?
short pause
Box: Yeah! Exactly like that! You got this!
So I played a little and went up a bit and down a bit. As you do. Plunked $5 down on the pass line and took full odds and the point hit. This game is pretty cool! So I hung around and watched for about an hour and finally decided to eat my winnings. I take $5 off my stack and, drop it on the pass line and announce dealer bet - $5 to pass. It hits. The dealers love me.
Maybe Vegas isn't so bad after all.
http://imgur.com/a/LGhDj
I have the pan roast at the oyster bar. No line. It is DELICIOUS. I get back to the hotel at 5AM. I don't care when I wake up.
Friday, January 20th. Day 4 of SHOT show.
Wake up around noon feeling like crap. Go to show. Debate destroying milk cart with wheels with an ax borrowed from fire station. Decide against it. Gas up car and find myself out by palace station again. Played some craps, hit the buffet and went for an early sleep.
It's midnight. The neighbors in my the hotel are having sex. A LOT OF SEX. I can hear everything. I gently knock on the door. No answer. I knock slightly harder. No answer. I head back to my room and close the door just as I hear their door open. I zoom back out to find a puzzled middle aged stocky and perhaps sticky Latino man looking both ways.
I get in his line of sight.
Me: Hey. I'm next door. It sounds like you're having a lot of fun. I get it. I really do. In fact I haven't had sex since the bush administration so I'm gunning for you man I really am. But it's midnight and I have a 6am flight and a rental car to return. So trust me when I say I'm really happy for you but if you don't mind I really need to get some sleep tonight okay?
The awkward silence is deafening. He nods without saying a word and mouths okay. I give him a manly nod and thumbs up.
Me: thanks. I'd shake your hand or fist bump but well you know.....
I give him a peace sign as he goes back into his little pleasure palace and I turn to realize that I have just locked myself out of my room. I am wearing boxers, a tshirt and barefoot. I head downstairs to the lobby. The check in at the front desk resembles the TSA line at Mccarran. Normally I would not be this rude but desperate times call for desperate measures.
The line is 50 people deep. I walk past every person. Fuck your queue. I approach the desk where someone is helping a guest and I raise my right hand as if I were in a deposition to get them to stop. The staff and guest looks puzzled as the angry barefoot man clad in nothing but boxers and a "uzi does it" tshirt approaches the desk.
Me: excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt. I have an emergency. I'm up on 8 and my neighbors are having a lot of sex. I mean a LOT of sex.
(This is the same front desk clerk who actually checked me in Monday night by coincidence looks back at me very awkwardly and puzzled.)
Me: this isn't your regular sex. I'm talking this is your (I begin air humping the front desk and slapping the granite counter with my palm and grunting loudly) sex. You could hear the plan B packaging open.
At this point - the ENTIRE FRONT DESK STAFF HAS STOPPED CHECKING IN GUESTS. The people in line and are watching the show. The clerk is stunned. Speechless. Shock and awed. Crapped out and busted. The women are covering their children's eyes and ears. The men are wondering if this show requires a 2 drink minimum.
Me: now I get this is Vegas. Everyone wants a good time. It's midnight. My flight leaves at 6 which means I have to be up by 4. And this just isn't working. So I asked them to keep it down and I locked myself out of my room. So if you can make me another key or move me I'd appreciate it.
The clerk nods.
Clerk: of course. may I see your ID?
Years of ballet have prepared me for this day. I step back to make sure my genitals are still ensconced in my boxers as I pirouette and gesticulate wildly.
Me: DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE ID?
The floor manager steps over and asks me to head down to the end of the desk where she will make me a key. I give her the room number and thank her after she offers to have security sent up to shutdown the best little whorehouse in Vegas. I tell her it may not be necessary. As I take my keys and walk away the people in line break out in raucous applause.
I take a bow and miraculously my boxer shorts don't rip. These people are my subjects and I have been crowned the the king of the three ring circus that is the circus circus lobby. Im offered a $1 tip from a kind soul but I decline.
My walk back to the hotel elevator bank is uneventful. So much so that I realize it is going too well. The other shoe, if I were wearing one felt as if it was about to drop. Suddenly a dumbass in a rascal scooter is heading toward me at flank speed as his head is turned to look at everyone BEHIND HIM. There's no way this will end well.
For you gentle readers joining us mid conversation - it's midnight and I need to be at the airport in 4.5 hours. I can just see it now. (Cue the harp noises)
Scene: Emergency room
Nurse: Allergic to anything? Me: NKDA Nurse: cause of injury? Me: what's the IC10 code for "run down by drunken buffoon on motorized wheelchair?"
I saw my life and confirmed upgraded first class seats home being given away by the Mccarran gate agent flash before my eyes and my catlike reflexes kicked in and I jumped to my left into the wall, mid 1960's Las Vegas union construction being the path of least resistance. Think "The Bodyguard" with Kevin Costner.
The buffoon barely realizes what happens. Children are amazed. "HEY MOM! Look! That guy just ran into a wall!"
Me: it was that OR GET RUN DOWN BY SOME JACKASS ON A GODDAMN SCOOTER GOING FULL SPEED DRIVING LIKE A....
I look down and a midwestern nuclear family with two children of formative age are waiting for the elevator. I change my last word.
Me: LUNATIC!
I look over to the parents.
Me: I'm really sorry. This is a family joint and I shouldn't have cursed the drunken scooter driver like that. Sorry kids.
Parent: no big deal. They've heard fucking worse.
I crack a smile at her word choice. Fucking worse. Yeah. That sounds like my evening.
After jumping into a wall, I'm now wide awake and unable to go back to sleep. I make the plane and push on time. The 737 comes to a stop short of the runway and holds. Something is wrong. The pilots come on and say that they loaded more cargo and passengers than planned so they have to redo their numbers. We're waiting on the taxiway with both engines running as they do this and the waiting music comes on. What's the first song?
Whitney Houston - "I Will Always Love You"
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[Table] IAma Las Vegas Nightclub Promoter. Ill clear up any misconceptions or reservations you have about this BEAST that's known as "The Strip". AMA

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2014-02-27
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
What's the best way to go about getting a table/bottle service without completely breaking the bank? It's Vegas so of course it's not gonna be cheap by any stretch but do you have any tips to get the most bang for your buck? Stay away from clubs that have a Major Dj/ Act on that night. Fridays and Saturdays are the worst. They'll price you according to how many people you have. For example at Encore beach club, if you have 6 in your group they'll price you at $1k-1500 to start with. Night clubs usually start at 4/bottle. If you have women with you get them inside through a guest list. They'll get in free. Example, its 4 guys and 4 girls they'll want to get you on a two bottle minimum. Instead have the guys walk in for the one bottle minimum and let the girls know what table number youre at. TA-DA! Youll also get just enough seating for 4-6 but fuck it, youre in a club so get up and have fun!
Its all about real estate. If you just want to have a table to enjoy your own space and not have to worry about waiting at the bar then get a table situated off the side. Also give hosts a hard time, don't just say YES to the first offer. Maybe see if they can throw in a bottle of champ or something. Or a buy two get one free.
Whats the craziest thing you've seen in vegas? Craziest? uhm sex inside clubs. Sex in cabs. Sex out in the open. A girl once was sooo fucked up that she was walking around The Aria with only a bikini bottom and a fishnet top. That's it. Fishnets used to catch Whales so a whole tit, and she had very nice sized tits, pretty much was hanging out. You could see a wave of jaws drop and conversations stop as she walked by with her drunk friend and their two guy friends. Ahh memories. But all in all, drugs, sex, and money being spent on the craziest things. Hobos fighting with themselves. Brides-to-be doing the walk of shame. Craziness.
Walk of shame? How do you mean? Still in the clothes that they wore the last night. Usually because they spent the prior night with someone that they shouldn't have. But its Vegas, spend your night with whoever you can!!! Yaaay!
Hobos fighting themselves? Like, Tyler Durden style? I saw a hobo talking to himself. He then got mad at himself and started punching himself in the gut. I didn't know who to put my money on.
Helix or dome fossil? Helix.
What is the biggest scam on the strip? Id say paying for club passes that are to be had for free. Biggest scam is paying for these wrist bands that promise you no line, no cover, and open bar all night. And its on a night when Tiesto or Zedd is playing. Yeah right, youre showing up to the club and they'll laugh at you. And after you tell them that you gave $30 to someone that seemed honest and even gave you his/her number. I once met a group of 26 girls from a sorority from AZ that each paid $25. After I told them that it was fake two out of the seven girls started tearing. I got them on guest lists to access the clubs for free with one offering an open bar. Was happy to alleviate some of the pain.
Oh shit, I forgot! The guys that bring out their tables on the strip and do the whole follow the ball thing. The people winning work with them. Watch them, they'll win and make sure they let out a WHOOO really loud and make sure people are looking. They lure in others and make it look really easy to win. I once saw a guy lose $1700 and a thick heavy as fuck gold chain in less than 3 minutes. he got on his knees and asked for some of it back . The guy gave him $200 because the idiot said it was the last of his money and was with his wife and three kids. Greed I tell ya.
It's always hard for me to believe that in 2014, people actually still fall for that shit... I mean, it's completely unmodified, it's literally a movie cliche scam. Exactly. I'm like really. Really people? I once saw a guy paying out $300 to 3 ladies and 2 dudes for helping. Imagine what he kept.
"A fool and his money are soon parted". Sounds like vegas exemplifies this adage? I pondered how to answer this question for too long. Short and simple... yes. Perfectly.
What's the best way for a middle-aged couple to do clubs? We love the music but feel ridiculous (which kills the fun) queuing up with beautiful twenty-somethings. First off, you wouldn't be the only middle aged couple. I see them all the time. Some just kick back and drink and then some are dancing all night and don't give a shit what anyone else thinks. Let me know what days you are here and I'll put you on some guest lists so you don't pay cover.
Where can I find those hot dogs? At the Casino Royal, next to the Venetian. All the way in the back. Michelobs for $1 at the bar at the entrance.
What about the shots? Bally's Casino. Taco joint in the back.
Sunglasses inside a nightclub. Fucking douche-bags or clever way to hide pupil dilation? Fucking get the fuck out of here. I cannot say "fuck" enough when I see those idiots in the club. I hope they slip on spilled beer, fall on sticky residue and get up right when the confetti is shot out.
Did someone stab you with sunglasses or something? No, they stabbed me with audacity... audacity to wear them inside a club. I guess its because I'm a form follows function type of guy. Sunglasses inside would only be ok when you're covering up a black eye from a beat down or your bloodshot red eyes would give away that you've been on a drug binge.
This is a long shot, but my friends and I are going to be in vegas for EDC, we plan to stay a week, is there anyway you could hook us up when EDC is over? Sure. Text me before you're here and ill let you know what I can do. Worst case ill be able to do a reduced cover. 7736200454.
You are now in my phone as Vegas promoter. I do Vegas about 6 times a year. So expect a text soon and if your down I'll buy you a few beers. You had me at "Beers".
Hey DisasterBUSE, got a question for you. I'm not really a club guy but I do like to go to bars. What are some of the better bars in the casinos that are good for someone who just likes to have a few drinks in between gambling. Also are there any good rock clubs in Vegas? If so, what are the called and where are they? The Wynn and Encore are very lively at night. If you want to gamble and drink with a great view, that's the place. Venetian, Palazzo, Bellagio, Aria, and last but not least The Cosmopolitan ate great places with great energy. The clubs SurrendeEncore Beach Club and XS have gambling tables in case you'd like to soak a little of the scene in while playing a few hands.
How's papa Giorgio? Not sure but I think he might look something like this nowadays.
Going to vegas for a cousins bachelor party from May 14 to 18. I am a student got any tips for me to be money wise? as the people I am going with are all older professionals with money. Any hook ups? thanks! Do most of your drinking at slots, tables. Ill put in $10 in a slot, and sometimes not even gamble at all. Cocktail servers come around and ask if I want drinks..."two vodka/tonics please" and tip her $4. If youre doing any pool parties and not doing bottle service you might want to get tickets before hand since theyre cheaper than paying at the door. Flasks flasks flasks! Let me know if I missed anything that concerned you.
In all seriousness, I'll be in Vegas for the opening weekend of the NCAA tournament. Know of any awesome places (besides the casino sports books) to catch the games? Bars off the strip are always great. No pressure and decent pricing on booze. unless youre willing to pony up and do Lagasses place at Venetian or something.
What's the most common misconception about clubbing and how do you correct people about it? That theyre impossible to get in, theyre not fun, expensive to get in, girls are hard to meet/ leave the club with. The club I work for 75% of the times im able to get couples in free provided that they show up early. On slower nights Im able to get uneven ratios in (more guys than girls) or give tickets that grant free entrance. And the ladies. To me they all look the same BUT its hard to get over it. Ive seen guys pick up ladies super quick and they only had a beer in their hand, you don't need a massive table with free drinks galore. Theres a lot of girls in the clubs that have awesome personalities but have their guards of because theyre just not comfortable with being groped. Approach them in a non creepy way and youre golden. I see this every week. What surprises me is how many people come to vacation here and are just total Debbie downers. The most amazing thing about this place is that people come here to have fun and dance theyre asses off, even when they have no clue what theyre doing. Walk in to a club through a guest list and get in free, have a drink and enjoy an amazing sound system. Even if its for 30 min, I feel its large part of the Vegas experience.
Good answer man! I'd love to have your job Theres a lot of bad that come with the jobs. A significant other will not be happy with your phone blowing up until the early morning. A lof of girls are absolute bitches and think the whole world owes them something for having their tits out. Its a hustle and with every "NO!", "EWW", and "I HAVE A BOYFRIEND CREEP" you have to keep on and hope the next says yes. And please note, I always approach with something non creepy like "Hey ladies sorry to interrupt, have you been invited to see Macklemore & Ryan Lewis tonight on a guest list"?
I've always wondered you guys must get paid pretty good money right? (There was one particular promoter I always stuck with until he recently moved) but this guy had an assistant and took nice trips I kinda just always wondered how that system works. And do Diplo and Dillion Francis put on good shows? I wanna see either one sometime soon Great question. First off Diplo is at my workplace tomorrow night so best believe Ill be instagramming tons of Videos. All of Maddecent are awesome. Dillon Francis and Diplo are both awesome. Tons of ass shaking tomorrow for sure!
So everyone pays differently. I only work at SurrendeEncore Beach and have a day job so my time is limited. So Ill breakdown promotions as much as I can. First off there are different types of Promoters. You have the ones that work at a club like yours truly. Since I only work at SurrendeEncore Beach club, which is run by Las vegas Nightlife Group. I only get paid for people that come to my club. XS and Tryst are owned by the same people and we are all located at the Wynn/Encore. You then have Tao Group, Angel Management Group (AMG), and Light Group. Tao clearly has Tao, Tao beach, Marquee and Marquee Dayclub. AMG has (or had, Hakkasan just bought the group out). Hakkasan, Wet Republic, Pure, LAX, Chateau, Venus, Coyote Ugly, Saville Row. LG runs Light, Daylight, Haze, 1Oak, The Bank and a few lounges/restaurants. Tao group promoters can have guest lists at all their venues so if they leave a group with a great impression and they check in on their guest list at all joints then the person just made $ times the number of venues they checked in. Light Group usually confines their employees to one club, unless they need help filling out another (which they usually do) and allow them to be paid (I waited 8 months to get paid by them, I don't like the way they manage their places). AMG varies as well, I heard some are only focusing on Wet and Hak but heard that before they had to have a certain amount check in at other properties. With all this said, if youre a good promoter, hardoworking, and have a good network, 1k a week is a cakewalk. Even 2k can be done for the greater part of the summer. I know of a guy that can make 4-8k/wk and its all through his phone. Money can be real good IF you work hard and hit high numbers. Ill elaborate a little more later on tonight if anyone wants me to. I need to head home.
If you feel like elaborating, what's the difference between the 1k a week promoter and the promoter making 4-8k? Well if you don't bring any people and ate not being paid hourly then you might not get a check at all. Those that are successful in this biz network hard, are usually seasoned, and are good enough to the point that clients want to go back to them and refer them to others. Ive heard of hosts being flown to exotic places, gifts being custom made as gifts, and so on. Its really like any other sales job, many do it, some are good, few are great. There are also many ways to make money. You can book hotel rooms, sell packages, etc. where you receive a kick back. When done right its a win/win/win.
What's are your experiences like with the Vegas drain dwellers? Any good stories? Theyre all over the place. Usually just getting drunk and laying out on the sidewalk. I pay no attention to them. Some have demanded money and when I tell them I have no cash or simply say "sorry, cant help ya" at times can get very aggressive. Then they fall on their ass or something. Comical most of the times. Look at them too long though it becomes depressing. The sad thing is I see a lot that are soo young. There was this young girl with a sign that read "pregnant with 2nd child and cannot afford anything. please help". I sat down next to her and asked her why she was out there. I asked if she sought help. I was baffled that such a young person could be so out of luck. She proceeded with a story about her losing her Social Security Income when she moved to Arizona or something. When she moved back they denied her or something along those lines. In the end it seemed like she lost hope and possible gave up too quickly. She said she didn't have family to turn to. Those are the moments when I realize that I am lucky to have a great family that would take me in if I ever went near that route.
Whats a good tip to you afer helpi. Some people out? I don't ever expect to get tipped. I get paid by the club. There are always people who value what I do and slip me a $20,$40. The most I've ever been tipped was $160. It was for setting up someone with table service at a few clubs. Tips humble me, just buy me a shot and we're good!
Show up at club with a big line. What amount should you slip the bouncer to let you in and a date? What would you say? I'm always afraid i'll hand over a hundred bucks and he'll make me wait in line anyway. Depends on the club. If its just you and a date Id say start at $40. Order of difficulty to skip the line from hardest to easiest: All guys> More guys than girls>even ratio mixed group>all girls. That being said if its just a guy and a girl then Id start out at $40, they might come back with $60-$80. If you feel like pulling their bluff thank them for the help but youll just wait in line. Sometimes they'll see $40 better than nothing. Imagine if he does that 10 times a night? Not bad...
Another thing you might want to think about is say you just left at a restaurant that's in the casino. Id probably use the whole "My buddy So-and-so, manager at ___, told me to come check it out. I forgot the name of who Im supposed to ask though (maybe guess a name). Can we go in and check it out"? Worst case scenario is they say no, next is they let you pass and you pay cover, best thing is you walk in no line and no cover. Ive met people who have succeeded.
I read your comment about tipping and whatnot and how its not really necessary. i went last august with a group of 12 for my buddy's bachelor party and we got tables at light on a friday and lavo on a sunday. we tipped on both occassions, as i was under the impression that it was proper etiquette. for light we gave the guy a little over 200, and he was able to move us from a table on the 2nd floor in the corner to one that was pretty close to the main floor for the same bottle minimum (we had planned on giving him that much anyway before he moved us). at lavo we hooked the guy up with 100. were we too generous? or is that pretty standard? A 20% gratuity is always on the bill plus 8.1% tax. Now, with the $200+ you gave the host you then bettered your real estate setting in the club. While you don't really have to tip your host its customary to throw them a bone. You can get your table and have everyone leave you be except your busseserver. Start tipping security and they will make sure the crowd stays clear of your area. Tip your host and they seat you at a better table. Tip a "girl-guy" and they will bring you hot ladies. Now with that last one be very careful, ladies that table hop are very thirsty and the only way for them to stay alive is to have a constant source of alcohol. Party too hard and your 2k table has turned into 8k. Or your 7k has turned into 22k. Ive seen this happen at many clubs. If you just hit it big at the tables or hit a progressive at the slots then fuck it, LIVE IT UP! (Im kidding, save a small town from hunger).
Do promoters make a huge difference in cutting the line, hooks, and discounts, and saving money? Rather than just walking into the club blind? A good promoter wants your experience to be soo awesome that they contact you on their next visit or mention their name when a friend has Vegas plans. That said, our guest lists offer no cover or reduced entry. Express entry is only done when their at the ropes and have an incentive to get you inside faster. If youre a dude youll probably have to tip someone off to skip the line. When I come across a couple I always offer to set them up somewhere else the following night. Its simply good business and I believe in paying it forward. Before I moved to Vegas I made a trip with my SO and I know how hard the city can be without a hookup. I put myself in their shoes and do what I can for them. I always provide pics of my club and explain the whole line/open bar situation. I don't lie to them just for them to get in, it comes back to bite you in your ass.
So what's the best way for an international tourist to get some good coke? I've heard it's best to hire a limo and ask the driver. What do you think? Be very careful. Vice (undercover cops) are all over and look the role they are playing. I once was walking in front of the Bellagio fountains and within a matter of seconds a couple of men, tattoos on their necks and all, went from talking to a guy one second to quickly pulling out their badges and handcuffing the man. All I heard was "under arrest for possession and intent to..".
I'm a you get guy and I like older women, what are the best spots to meet them? Just to let you know im23 so older form me is 30+ Check out the pools, casinos. There a ton of HOT older ladies. A difference between them and younger chicks: Mature woman have no problem having a drink, laying out, or just walking by themselves. You'll find these that are here for a convention and have nothing planned for the night. Whenever I get them on my guest list theres a 90% chance they'll show up. Two weeks ago I had a large group of 9 woman show up. Every. Single. One. Was. Hot!
What is the incentive for someone under 21 to visit Vegas? To make it to 21 and join the fun! Now you have a goal. youre welcome.
I kid, kind of. I approach many under 21 and they all look like theyre having fun. I don't even think theres a curfew so you can at least people watch while sipping on whatever. The city never sleeps. Jump on the roller coaster at NYNY or head to Strasphere and have some fun. Lots of walking and selfie opportunities.
Are there ways to get a table at a club for free? If you have a group of great looking girls or have a local ID then yes, its possible. Youll only have to pay tip. $70-some odd bucks per bottle instead of $600 and change? not bad.
Does a promoter like yourself just walk up to us and say "hey, want a free table?" It depends. For a group of all ladies and if theyre cute I can get them a table with champagne bottles for free. The clubs want pretty ladies in so some places offer then a free dinner and a free table. Every club is different. But if theyre hot my first questions is "so how many girls/guys with you" and when its all girls then its a go. Some clubs require a picture of all girls, it then has to be sent to a manager to approve the group.
Is that the real Caesars Palace? Did Caesar live there? It was faxed it over bit by bit starting in the 60's. Yes Caesar lived there. Ordered tons of room service.
How often do people offer you drugs/money/sex in order to get into clubs? Those younger than 21 are willing to give me their first born just to get in. I get offered tons of things, Im not surprised anymore.
Has anybody ever told you that you look like Ami James? Like if you tattooed your neck and stuff I swear you could pass as a double. No but I see a resemblance. I always get Vin Diesel or Willie Nelson. Ok maybe not Willie.
What suggestions do you give for a small college restaurant/bar in terms of bringing people inside? Also what do you NOT suggest doing? Suggestions like what works to get them inside your place?
Any place really! I've seen just about everything in my city but most bars here are dead(50-100k population being students alone!) Its really location specific. Im from Chicago and Vegas is a whole different ball game. We deal with people that are here for a short amount of time. In the end though all places want bodies inside their place. Motion created commotion so if youre in a place that's packed and fun people want to stay and consume more. Most important, get bodies inside the club/bar early. Before 11 is key. That way any propect walking by sees that its busy and wants to be part of the fun. Does this make sense?
What would you recommend as far as afterhours edm parties go? You might like Artisan. The times that Ive been there its been nothing but deep house and some edm. Really weird décor too, worth seeing. Body English and Drais usually mix it up.
What's the craft beer scene like? I've always been a fan of travel, and love checking out the local craft breweries/brewpubs in an area. Sin City brewery at a few casinos, Big Dog Brewery, Banger Brewery in Downtown, Chicago Brewery to name a few. Yard House carries a few local brew I believe.
Chicago Brewing, at Rampart and Ft Apache was my stomping ground for the two years that I lived in Summerlin. I loved that place. Decent food and beer, and the upstairs bar area was perfect for baseball viewing. Good memories, thanks for reminding me of it. I remember watching my first Bears game there. I got Goosebumps seeing all the people with their jerseys on. Refreshing in this transient city.
Hey, thanks for the AMA. What's the deal with dress codes at various clubs? Does it depend on night/weekend? Heading out to Vegas with a bachelor party in June, curious to get your thoughts on this and strategy for a group of 15 drunk idiot single guys. You know, even I don't know. I mean if you're put together in a presentable manner than you shouldn't have a problem. If you stick to collared shirts and nice shoes then you're good. No athletic wear, no hats. Sometimes chucks slide but id rather you be safe than sorry. Clearly the day clubs are lenient on dress code, still no athletic wear. If you have a club in mind text me and ill make sure to find out what it is they are/are not tolerating.
You got me with the the VIP pass? Hit me up and if I have tickets I don't see why not.
Whats the best nightclub on the strip? Define Best and Ill tell you which one.
Surprise me. My favorite is XS. Hakkasan is the latest and greatest. It cost $100m and was named Nightclub&Bars best top club for 2014. Light inside the Mandalay Bay is awesome. I like Surrender because its an outdoor club with a dancefloor inside (I don't like being shoved every two seconds). Tryst is also cool with a 90ft waterfall. Marquee has always done well and is a must visit (it also gets too crowded for me though). It really depends if you like dancing in the middle of the dancefloor, what kind of music you like, outdoor vs indoor. Then you have your older clubs that still have a following like Pure, Tao. Maybe its because they've been around FOREVER.
I fly around a decent amount, if I wanted to make Vegas a frequent destination how could I get in contact with you? Buy calling/texting! 7736200454. Christopher Landeroz. Texting is way better, I can reply whenever.
Too bad doubles are 25$ there lol. Yes, a simple sprite sets you back $7. $10 at Hakkasan! That's why I tell people to load up at a slot so you only need 1-2 more when you're inside the club. But the place is awesome. Awesome can be expensive =/
Do those mexican guys on the Strip throwing phamplets at anyone actually manage to get people to call those escort lines? I talk to a few on a regular basis. Super nice people sweating their asses off and getting paid very little. According to one of them theyre just there to pass them out for a company. They almost never see a bonus for it. If the people they work for still have them up and down the strip passing them out then people must be calling. I don't know too much about the escorts you get from calling those numbers. I do know escorts that work for themselves though. Some of those chicks make tons of dough.
Do you know my cousin Tiffany? Does she own jewelry stores all over the place? Make pretty lamps with stained glass? Kidding.
Should I know her? Does she work there?
She used to work at surrender now she works at light. Server? Promoter?
I'll be in Vegas for edc weekend. Any chance you might be able to hook it up with guest list? :) Sure. I'm pretty sure we'll have some major talent that week. Message me sooner than later.
What are y'all gonna do when the water runs out? I should be back home in Chicago by then. Maybe swap out water for Vodka or something.
Promoter. Tae?
Yea, tay. Didn't talk to her much but yes, I remember her.
Leaving for Vegas tomorrow for Spring Break/My Bachelor Party! Any way to to get a sweet deal on your club for Saturday night? Madeon will be there Saturday night! Text me 7736200454.
My fiancee is bringing me to LV for my birthday in April. Any tips on birthday hook ups or perks I can get out there? We're staying at The Wynn. Your hook up is right here! Text me or message me.
I'll be there next week, any chance you could hook me up? :) EDIT: It'll also be my 21st Birthday! Of course! message me.
Wanna hook me up VIP style for my 21st in July? Why not! Message me!
I'll be there with my best friend in two weeks for her birthday. Any way you can help us out? Yup! Message me!
I highly recommend the show Absinthe in Las Vegas. I was there about two weeks ago and the show was AMAZING. Although, the humor in the show can be a bit vulgar so if you're offended very easily then I wouldn't recommend it. This. Ive heard nothing but good things about Absinthe.
I am going EBC when it opens March 29th for my birthday. Can I contact you for bottles !! Yes. Text me! Number is on my instagram profile or message me!
I'll have to check it out from Australia sometime :) Aussie Aussie Aussie!!! Aussies have to be some of the best people that come out. Super friendly, party hard, and uhh party hard!
Headed to Vegas the weekend of April 11th for my cousins bachelor party. Staying at Hard Rock. Need some direction on clubs! Message me, and Ill let you know whats hot. It usually boils down to hip hop or house (and don't get me started on todays "hiphop, Im oldschool but whatev), outdoor or indoor, daytime or night? Ill point you the way. you cant go wrong with the clubs at the Wynn/Encore though. Don't pay for anything online, sometimes they can be had cheaper here. Example: strip club packages for a bachelorette/bachelor party online charge $30-50 when I can get you the same thing for $7-45. A group of girls from back home (Chicago) were referred to me. For some odd reason one of them decided to buy a package for 9 girls. Turns out they overpaid by $135. Its the internet, they know that people like to preplan so they get you like that. Knowing what I know now Id book a room in advance (but would probably willing to try the last minute hotel sites, Ive heard great things about them) and tickets for clubs if it was all males.
So i'm going to vegas for the first time starting the 12th of march for my 21st birthday/ mountain west tournament trip what do you think the best clubs and pool parties are to go to to get the whole first time vegas trip experience Are you the one who text me already? If not then here it goes: (shameless plug) Surrender its an indoooutdoor club. We book talent ranging from hip hop, trap to EDC, Dubstep. While there check out XS and Tryst. Hakkasan at MGM is new and pretty big. Light at Mandalay Bay is new as well. Great lighting and "powered by Cirque du Soleil", meaning performers hang from the ceiling and behind their LED screen. Marquee at the cosmo has always held their weight. Both indoooutdoor. You then have Hyde, Pure, Tao, Moon, Ghost bar and many others. During the day I'm pretty Sure Ghost bar dayclub (GBDC) and Lavo Brunch will be going on during the day on Saturday. Basically they're clubs open during the day. Encore Beach Club might be open and a few others. Those dates are right on the cusp of pools opening so its TBD as of now. Message me and ill see what I can do for you.
You mean you're a mexican immigrant who flips cards at people? Or you're a strip bar "concierge" who wanders the strip getting bachelor parties to go to Treasures? And those cheap beers and tequila shots are available at the Taco place in Ballys... duh! Yes, glad I made myself clear. And not everyone knows their way around Vegas, just trying to help. Thanks for your contribution to the cause.
Last updated: 2014-03-04 02:08 UTC | Next update: 2014-03-04 08:08 UTC
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[Table] IAmA Las Vegas Casino Dealer...AMA

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2013-06-08
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
Two questions, actually! Completely unrelated: 1) What's the weirdest conversation you've had with a gambler in recent memory? 2) Have you ever advised a first time gambler / someone who isn't quite sure of the rules..on let's say, the blackjack table? I've had guests tell great stories of there experiences with "working girls" as we call them.
All the time...most guests do not know how to play...that is actually part of the dealers job description...helping/advising guests how to play the games
Any asshole celebrity stories? I've meet an enormous amount of pro-athletes...I have nothing bad to say about them. Second hand celebrity stories...tons. J-Lo is a notorious stiff...Ben Afflack, Barkley, Rodman...nothing but great things.
I heard Beyonce was beyond rude...stiffed a cocktail waitress at the Wynn It is common knowledge among dealers that Jordan and Tiger do NOT tip.
I took a cab ride in Vegas, cabbie told me that Scottie Pippen is known as "No tipping Pippen". I haven't heard anything about Pippen...maybe it is b/c Pippen doesn't play the tables and when I refer to someone as a stiff it is about them not tipping dealers...not necessarily how they treat waiters, waitresses, etc etc.
What's the most money someone won in your table? Or lost? What are the skills required to be a dealer? I dealt to one person who lost 1 million playing craps the night the Giants beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl...the first time. The most...I've seen a 100k winner...I am mostly in dice, so I never dealt and supervised baccarat, which is the game that gets all of the BIG action...I mean BIG play. People with multi-million credit limits, Royalty, etc etc...skills required by a dealer is simply just one who is talkative, gregarious, outgoing.
Have you ever seen the move Casino? Yes...my grandfather and his siblings actually worked in Vegas at that time...so much money was made...by everyone.
Thats pretty cool. My fathers Aunt said DeNiro's character was god awfully ugly and Sharon Stone's character was gorgeous...I had an accounting professor who was on the Gaming commission at the time they put Tony Spilatro (Pesci's character) in the black book.
Is there any reason you would NOT let someone play? Card counters are not allowed to play blackjack, but can play the others such as roulette, craps, and bacc. If one becomes too intoxicated, that may be a reason to "back them off" If a player becomes aggressive is another reason, but the previous two reasons, intoxication and aggressiveness are subjective and dependent on the player.
Forgive me for not knowing this, but how do you know if someone is counting cards? Very easy actually...it is all about how they bet and play...one does not necessarily know how to count to catch a card counter...in order for someone to be profitable at counting, they must have a large "bet spread" for instance a minimum bet of say $25 and a maximum of $500...one indication is if a person is betting: 25, 25, 50, 75, 500...that may be a sign...how one plays is another indication.
I know you don't make the rules, but it's such bullshit. They literally kick people out for using their brain to play a game. Yes and no...I see it from both sides...the advantage for a card counter is actually very small...it brings the advantage to slightly over 1%..so really it's a grind...and not automatic. A positive count for the player is also a positive count for the dealer. There have been times I've dabbled...got a 20 and the dealer pulls a 21.
Has anyone ever come into the casino in a disguise that had previously been 86ed for card counting? Not that I know of...I've never caught anyone like that...a good documentary about card counting is: HolyRollers
What gives the player the advantage is that the dealer is more likely to bust. And a 1-2% advantage is exactly what the casino's normal advantage over players who play basic strategy is. So for a counter to have that allows them to always be profitable in the long run. It's simple math. Yes...but it is a grind. It is not the romantic thing that I think people think it is. In the long run, absolutely a good counter will be profitable...but that counter will have put in a lot of hours and experience a lot of swings.
Thanks for doing this AMA. Your proof pic is a bit blurry, but I think I'm looking at a Cosmopolitan ID card there. If so, could you let me know a bit about the comp structure at the Cosmopolitan? I usually play blackjack, at $1000 per hand. What can I expect for my kind of play? Yes my proof is blurry and yes it's from the Cosmopolitan...for the comp structure I'll refer you to a co-worker, a host...I'll PM you his info later tonight, early Sunday morning...when you say $1000k a hand...I hope it means $1000 k a hand at least every hand.
Biggest tip you've gotten? In one night my crap table, which consists of 4 dealers made approximately 12k...my tips are usually accumulated throughout a night v. one big hand-in.
Has the casino you worked at ever done "shady business"? i.e. ripping off people, beating them? No beatings...they do not have to resort to "shady business" 1. all of the games have an advantage built in...most people now a days just come to party and not necessarily to "make money" very few people, I mean very few actually give themselves a fighting chance. They are just there to let loose and party. One practice some of the casinos have picked up which I do not like, but people still play is paying the 12 crap in the field double instead of the traditional triple...and playing blackjacks 6-5 instead of 3-2.
Are there any casinos left in LV that let dealers keep their own tips? In other words, a 'go for your own' house, rather than pooled tips? Yes...very few...Hooters and Silverton...If I wasn't getting out of the business, I would attempt to work at Silverton...I've talked to numerous "old timers" and of course goin for your own is far superior. I actually heard a co-worker describe recently working at the Silverton as making "score" as better than sex.
The current structure of "pooling" tips is the reason I went back to school 5 yrs ago and I'm getting out now.
What are the best and worst bets at the casino? The slot machines are terrible, the carnival games, such as Let it Ride, Three Card Poker are terrible...the best table game is baccarat, then craps (if played correctly)
What is the biggest, "No no," in a casino? Really touching any of the staff and the cards on a table and if someone reaches in the rack or towards it, even joking...they will get thrown out.
What are your favorite restaurants in Vegas? Romas on Spring Mtn...I've eaten at Hot 'n' Juicy Crawfish but was very intoxicated so I do not remember if I liked it or not. Lindo Michoacan on Trop is okay...I used to eat Ricardo's a lot on flamingo and decatur...on the strip...the Wynn and the Cosmopolitan buffet is awesome...Comme Ca is very good, Holsteins has a great beer selection as does Freaken Frogs across from UNLV on Maryland.
Cool, thanks. I was in Vegas last week and had no idea where to eat. Fortunately we got lucky with some Italian restaurant at the Cosmopolitan. I'll remember your picks for next time. Yea you probably ate at Scarpetta...I didn't mention it b/c I haven't eaten there yet.
What are the telltale signs of someone who's counting cards? An irregular, large bet spread and play. Splitting tens against a bust card with an enormous bet, and nothing but tens and aces show is a great indicator. When someone takes insurance on a dealer's Ace with a bad hand but a lrge bet is another.
What about splitting tens against a bust card with a normal bet? I love doing this at low limit tables. I normally wouldn't b/c you have a 20 and most likely will not improve your hand, but there are situations that say it is the play.
How many people ACTUALLY cheat? It actually happens more than you think...they do it in teams now-a-days...sometimes even the dealer is in on it...heres one
Whats the cleverest one you've seen. The cards at some casinos had a slight pattern that were barely noticeable and only when the cards were turned a certain way. Apparently some players from Asia recognized this, deposited a large amount of money in the casino bank and told the casino they wanted to play baccarat. They also stipulated they would only play if the dealer turned the cards a certain way before exposing the card...once the dealer did this one time through the deck...all of the cards were able to be read from the back...it is very confusing unless someone understands how baccarat is played.
Are you trained to catch a cheater? As a supervisor I took a class that taught some techniques and what to look for...what really prevents cheats is the fact that camaras are ubiquitous...and the dealers are taught "game protection" that prevents cheats. For instance in craps always making sure when the person shooting the dice always hit the back wall, the dice leave the shooters hand simultaneously, and both dice are airborne, in addition to the stick person always having his/her eyes on the dice.
I thought Baccarat cards were only used once. Normally yes...but I think they requested the same deck be used...yes this should've sent off a flag.
Shit, missed this ama.. I have some real questions here.. Fire away...I have about 20 mins b/f I leave for work.
Approximately 4 guys? Yea there was a group of guys together...it was about 3 yrs ago when I was dealing to them...cannot remember if it was 4 or 5 of them...but one of the guys did claim he lost about $2500.
Thanks for all this, by the way. No I am kind've a hard ass when I floor craps, so I nip shit in the but...only on video
How much do you make playing us rubes at poker after your shift ends? Man, gotta leave when the dealers pull up for happy hour, but you're so fun to drink with! I haven't played poker seriously in over two yrs...I've been finishing up my degree so I haven't had the time to invest.
Poker dealers are notorious for being loose.
What game do I have the best chance at winning? Baccarat then craps, in craps the way to play is a pass or don't pass bet with full odds...then a come bet or don't come bet again with full odds
Do you gamble? A little...all the bars in Vegas have machines at the counter...I'll put anywhere from $20 to $100 in...get free drinks and sometimes free food.
Do you have any experience with anyone having incredible/unbelievable luck and you're convinced that he/she isn't cheating? Actually pretty recently...some guy just got incredibly hot in blackjack and won about 90k...which was a lot compared to his normal play.
I honestly think I know these guys. Was it the week of CES? It was around that time, in January.
You ever been a dealer in the WSOP? No that's poker...I am a table games dealer, well supervisor now
Biggest tip you've ever gotten? Favorite casino game? Most someone has ever won at your table? Throughout a night I've made into the thousands Favorite game is craps Most won-over 100k.
How can card counting considered cheating? Isnt that a major dick move from the casino? "Oh you can't use your brains, you'll have to be dumb and lucky." It's not considered cheating, that is why one would not get into trouble for doing it...the only response the casino has is to refuse service *not allow you to play bj.
What's your stance/opinion on that Phil Ivey casino incident? Context: Link to www.thestar.com That was the same scam I spoke of earlier...with the card backs having a design issue...in my opinion, as long as no devices were used...it was the fault of the casino and the casino should take the hit...they were negligent. IMHO.
Do some dealers cheat? I know its harsh in Vegas, but what about more easy places like Cruise liners etc? Cheat for who? Dealers work on tips, more so than waitresses. So they are not gonna cheat so the player loses.
I just spent a weekend at Las Vegas [first time] with a client who curiously only played slots [to the level he got comp'd regularly]. It was a surreal experience. However since it looks like there will be repeat visits, it got me wondering: what would be the best way to go about learning a table game like blackjack and the best way to teach my [Jpn] client/friend? Ask the dealer...it is part of there job to help.
How much does the casino spend in card decks per day or month or whatever the period would be? How many decks is that? What about dice? Edit: corrected Swype mistake from Reddit Mobile. That I do not know.
How often do they replace dice? 8 hrs.
You get new dice every 8 hours? What do you do with the old ones? Some casinos sell them...others not sure.
Have you even been to the tunica casinos? If not, what have you heard about them? My grandfather always liked goin to Mississippi.
What is the highest amount of dough you've ever seen anyone lose? 1 million.
Holy shit... How pissed was he? He gets pissed when he loses... I've dealt and floored his games numerous times... He's pretty cool other than that.
What is your favorite non-cassino game to play, such as board games and video games? I love to play cards...euchre, all forms of rummy, knock, skat, spades...as for video games I pretty much only play Madden.
How rich is he? do you know what he does? I cant imagine losing a milly...even if i was rich. Whats the point?...i doubt he does it for the money. Maybe the rush? He's a professional gambler.
Obviously not professional enough, eh? ;-) I wouldn't go that far...people lose, even pros. He doesn't play craps professionally...but he is a professional gambler.
How much money does the casino have at any point inside the building ? It depends on the chips in play...differs from casino to casino.
By law a casino has to have enough money in hand to cover every bet in play on its floor, correct? Not sure what the exact percentage is...but it is stricter than our banking system, lol.
Ever hear of Steve Forte? No but I work with his son John.
Damn... To someone like me, He is royality. I'd pay good money to watch him shuffle.. Sounds weird, but its true. I'll ask John about it tonight.
1st, huge fan of your work, I love anything to do with chance or cards. 2nd, what is a good amount of money to bring into a casino? I've been making a Vegas fund and I need to know when I need to actually go. It depends on the amt of money you'd like to bet...usually around a couple thousand should be okay.
I've had guests tell great stories of there experiences with "working girls" as we call them. All the time...most guests do not know how to play...that is actually part of the dealers job description...helping/advising guests how to play the games One story was when approximately 4 guys were sharing a room...one of the guys got nearly blackout drunk, brought a worker upstairs to the room, he was so drunk, he passed out and the working girl made off with thousands of dollars.
That's the most hilariously sad story i've ever heard...thanks for the answers! Your welcome...another was when a guy was in with his wife...he picked up a girl at the table when his wife was elsewhere...he attempted to bring the girl to the room...on his way his wife happened to be waiting at their room door...when they got there the working girl kept walking(apparently with payment) that was a 2nd hand story but I definitely believe it.
Keep going! Lol...one guy had a terrible bite on his bicep...I asked him what happened...he told me he brought a girl upstairs...she began to pleasure him orally...he looked down and she had her hands in his pocket pants which were around his ankles looking for money...he went to grab her...she bit his arm and ran away.
Have u ever stacked a deck Never...not necessary...the casinos do not need to "stack the deck" the games are in their favor
Baccarat then craps, in craps the way to play is a pass or don't pass bet with full odds...then a come bet or don't come bet again with full odds wizardofodds
No that's poker...I am a table games dealer, well supervisor now It's a good way to get experience I've heard for those with little time dealing poker and want to get an in.
Throughout a night I've made into the thousands Favorite game is craps Most won-over 100k. I split my tips with every dealer working that day, so If I make a score, it doesn't matter...that's part of the reason I stopped dealing.
Last updated: 2013-06-12 18:41 UTC
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