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Where the neck turns, the head goes: Recap of Happily Ever After S05E06

Who wants to marry a stupid bitch?
Does anyone else need this show this week to salve the seeping wound of 2020? I do. So let’s recap this bitch!
Jess is realizing that Larissa’s warning might be truth in reporting, as Debbie flounces around slamming doors, and Colt makes excuses for her by saying that she’s tired, drenched in boob sweat, and thousands of miles from where everything has been exactly the same for forty years. Jess and Colt go out to dinner, and Colt says he got a second hotel room, so they can have sex. Has he mentioned they’re having the sex? Jess tries to suss out why Debbie detonated shortly after hello, and Colt says that she’s over-protective, which is something Jess should know about, since she lost a parent, too. Instead Jess insists that she somehow was able to become an adult anyway, and then calls him a baby man, and he says that’s not fair; he prefers man-baby. Jess is nervous about introducing Colt to her family members, because they’re fun and he’s Colt, but at least there’s only one of him. Oh wait, Debbie. Jess ponders whether getting Debbie shit-faced will inspire a personality to emerge, and Colt just gives her his constipated kitten face, and says sex again.
In case you were wondering, Jess and Colt have sex. We revisit this topic when Colt wakes up and goes to fluff his mother. Debbie is eating breakfast, demanding to know why she was left alone in the room after demanding to be left alone in the room. Colt says that they were having sex, and Jess is kind of loud, but there’s no one to rescue her no matter her screams. He asks Debbie to make some effort to know Jess, since Debs reportedly went with him on this adventure in order to meet her. Debbie says that she was barely there an hour and Jess and Colt were already talking about their hypothetical children, and Debbie did not expect Colt to have a future. Colt is starting to think his mother is just there to sabotage he and Jess, and he says, “I understand you’re tired, but you don’t have to be an asshole.”
“YES I DO!” Debbie retorts. “I’m done! I’M DONE!”
Colt asks what Debbie thinks of Jess so far, and Debbie says, without irony: “I spent ten minutes with her…she seems to have a goal, or a plan.” Colt asks her to get to know her, and Debbie asks if that means leaving the hotel or enjoying herself, and Colt assures her she can just drain the beach of joy instead.
Jess knows Debbie is coming by how the temperature drops and the sun starts to darken. Debbie’s cautious, because in her view Larissa used Colt, and the part where Colt used Larissa right back totes didn’t happen. After a few antagonistic growling statements because Colt is in danger of having a life, Debbie says they need to get along, while doing nothing to be friendly. Debs thinks it’s strange that Colt went from one Brazilian to the next, and never considers for a second this is because Colt likes Brazilian women. Jess is now convinced that Larissa was telling her the truth about Debbie. She tries to find some joy in Debbie, and again asserts the importance of getting Debbie drunk. This will not end well. Nancy Reagan should have solicited Debbie’s services for her war on drugs, because no matter your level of intoxication, Debbie will kill your buzz.
Good news! Hot lawyer Adam is back, and an unbelievably healthy fiddle leaf fig guest stars from the hallway. Larissa is there to put in a job application, I guess. Larissa is pretty sure Adam’s wife wouldn’t like her as his assistant, due to what she would be assisting him with. She’s hoping to get her charges reduced to disorderly conduct, so she can get the third punch in her domestic violence card later. Adam hopes the camera folks are getting his good angle, which is all of his angles, and is pleased with the surge of business he’s enjoying from people who don’t seem to have any legal problems at all. His wife has questions, sure, but the answer is in that new boat, and sure he’ll do another season. He asks Larissa if she wants to put him on retainer or what, and she says her teeth are fine, so he invoices the producers directly.
Larissa and Eric are still pretending to date. The best part of this scene is the unplanned crotch flash that happens when Larissa elegantly crams her hand between her legs to yank the chair forward. Once seated, they hope to have the most boring conversation possible, and they succeed. The only interesting part of this scene is watching Larissa attempt to eat when she can’t feel her lips, which inspires food to dangle helplessly from her lower pucker before taking a dive.
Libby is ready to complain for the duration of their wedding venue hunt, and Andrei plans to dust off a fresh batch of insults for the occasion. She’s uneasy about putting Eleanor in car time-out with Father Andrei while they look at a place, especially since they forgot to crack the windows. Andrei calls her OCD, and says in Moldova people don’t suffocate like pussy Americans. Do you think these two know that they’re already married, and this is just extra for Andrei’s family? Will someone tell them?
The first venue is a casino strip mall, and Libby hates it before they even arrive. Libby considers the venue a cross between a bowling alley in 1973 and the Louisville airport (present day) — two places more appealing than the backseat of a car driven by these two, and yes, I’d book it. After Libby is done looking around with a disgusted expression, the poor woman showing them around invites them to look at delicious photos of food, which is too extreme of a diet for Libby. Andrei is stoked on the menu, while Libby expresses concern that there isn’t any picnic fare, and not a red SOLO cup in sight. Libby is nervous about her family having to acknowledge that they’re in a different country, so she lies and says Americans have cheeseburgers and fried chicken at weddings, because nothing classes up casino nuptials like greasy food dribbling down your titty-popping dress. Andrei helpfully points out that there’s a McDonald’s across the street, and Libby doesn’t say, “maybe you should pick up a job application,” but she should have. Instead she hunts for a fresh way to express displeasure without actually doing anything about it.
Libby declares the venue bullshit, and walks out so they can have an exit fight. She says her family has a lot of concerns…I’ll just leave it at that, since it covers every season of their story. Andrei accuses her of being hangry, and says they should stop and get food, but Libby hasn’t hated this venue enough yet. She pops off about not wanting to book any place where they can’t taste the food first (fair enough), and Andrei says she’s fucking annoying. Libby demands that he stop interrupting her when she’s being annoying, and this inspires him to interrupt her some more, and then again, until Libby walks away in disgust, which is a nice drumroll to her doing whatever this insecure, nutless, knuckle dragger wants in the next scene.
Libby says their disagreements are an every day thing, but yes, he’s acting different in Moldova. Why is she working for her dad when she could take this spin to a PR firm? All the same, this fight apparently evaporated into the air, because it’s not mentioned again when they check out venue #2, which looks exactly like the sort of venue Libby would choose. Libby = if Bed, Bath, and Beyond were a person. Andrei = if leather trench coats were a person. They bring out shot glasses of meat and other delicacies, which Libby declares good, and Andrei translates the cost as around $6,400. Andrei then says it doesn’t matter the cost, her dad is going to pay it. This man became entitled in record time, and I suppose this is what happens when your only financial planning is asking dad. Why does she want to marry him once, let alone twice? Was all his responsibility in his old haircut?
Andrei, his parents, and Libby are all cramming poor defenseless Eleanor into a stroller. She tries to escape, then realizes she should probably learn to walk first. Andrei shows her the neighborhood where he grew up, and the cameras race to see who can capture the most destitute part first. He said they used to break windows for fun, and Libby is confused, and Andrei says this was just a test to see if she was paying attention. What they really did was roll unguarded construction equipment into the road. They arrive at a park and take a photo by a tree. Apparently, the park is “on the older side” which in the PacNW is considered an asset, but not for Libby’s plastic coated life, and she’s a little bit concerned about germs. Seriously, is this her first kid exposure? My godson at one point licked a metal railing up and down with no pants on, while his sister sat on the ground trying to eat cedar chips. Sure, all the adults around them got sympathetic staph infections, but those two were just fine.
Mother Andrei asks if Libby has anything negative to contribute, and of course she does. Father Andrei says even though their “standards are lower compared to America,” they still love their country. Then Libby is asked to say something negative to further alienate Andrei’s family, so she says her family has no filter, because she doesn’t know that passive-aggression is a filter. Mother Andrei doesn’t believe that he planned the wedding last minute so her family couldn’t come, and Libby doesn’t understand why Mother Andrei isn’t on her team, after insulting her country and warning her about how horrible her family is.
“This is kind of starting to piss me off,” Low adds, and I concur, Low. I concur.
So in the next scene, Libby draws a hard line and HA HA HA good one. After another empty, sassy interview, Libby is ready to convert to the religion she can’t even name, and has zero curiosity about, but hey, let’s laugh at the guy carrying corn. The baptism requires her to dress in white along with a veil, and she asks if the men have to wear them too, because she’s going for superficially empowered “I’m not a feminist, but…” for this round. 1.) You know men don’t have to wear them, stop it. 2.) You don’t have to wear it either. The way you do this, is stop following this chode’s orders. But fuck that! Instead she does a little stand-turn-blow away the devil-turn-splash-Jesus! The priest puts a cross around her neck, and walks in a circle around the table, alongside Andrei’s sister-in-law Ina, who clearly hates Libby. Then the priest cuts off a lock of Libby’s hair, because Paul promised to pay top dollar for that shit.
“All of this seems very dated, and I want to be seen on the same level as men,” Libby states. “I don’t want to actually be on the same level, just perceived that way.”
Afterwards they all go out for dinner along with Libby’s negativity, so Andrei can offer more of his selective translation services about how men are from mars, women are from Venus. Libby doesn’t wear the cross she was just handed, and the family is concerned because it attaches a guardian angel…which she doesn’t know, because she doesn’t give a shit. Andrei says that goes to show he has to tell her everything. His brother is unimpressed with Andrei’s toxic masculinity, and seems to be noticing that Andrei is compensating for being a housewife by regurgitating man-meat stereotypes, and he should confine that shit to Reddit like a man.
Ina thinks gender expectations are fun, and Andrei lies and says he wants to earn money, but Libby convinced him otherwise. She then declares it was Libby’s responsibility to direct Andrei. “Women are the neck and men are the head,” she explains. “Where the neck turns, the head goes.” Andrei translates this as “the man is the brains, and the woman is the neck. The brain chokes the life out of neck, then tells it turn goddammit. Also, blow jobs and football. Monster trucks. Beef. How am I manning?”
“My family has always encouraged women to be very independent,” says that woman living off of her father’s money and doing everything her husband says. “I have no self-awareness, and I’ll have to put him in his place!” Libby lies, in sassy.
Angela is planning a wedding in a few weeks, and describes it as a job. Michael wakes her up and she starts getting out of bed, and says, “I’m trying to cover my cooter right now.” She is all business, while Michael is horny, probably because she triggered his junk with that super hot cooter line. Angela shows Michael that she got him not one but two suits for the wedding, and he’s shocked at the price of them, and the utter style of the purple suit. He does this weird ecstatic marriage dance on the bed, which is the second awkward dance of the season, so they have to be getting a bonus for these. Either way, it makes Angela laugh, but ha ha ha don’t get too comfortable.
Michael is taking her to meet the ex-pats. He’s been hearing about life in America from them, and he’s nervous. Michael explains that they have dual citizenship, which Angela insists on pronouncing “dool.” They warned him about segregation in certain places, and how black folks are routinely executed without trial by police. Angela fails to note that black folks might have a different perspective of American life than hers, and thinks Michael should just watch that July 4th parade on the VHS tape she sent him over and over, until his Murica tank is USA, and his Donald Trump underpants breed in his drawer. Then he says something about her staying in Nigeria instead, and come on dude, she’s got six grandkids she’s caring for a dying mother.
“That’s a no for me. Unless I can’t get another season of Happily Ever After, and need to make a play for The Other Way. Then maybe, if I get to spend most of the season deciding.” I see you, Angela.
Angela apparently didn’t watch the show last season, because she’s surprised to learn that his friends are women. The minute she sees them she goes from menthols to Lucky Strike, declares their relationship a wrap (again) and gets in the car for more incoherent screaming. Come the fuck on. This dude was dancing on the bed about marrying her fifteen minutes ago. Can’t she just enjoy her relationship already? This leaves all of Michael’s friends shocked, and all of us at home wondering if her storyline is ever going to get more complicated.
In their next scene Angela is still exploding, and Michael doesn’t say anything, because what’s the point.
“I’m not a stupid woman,” she lies. “Who wants to marry a stupid bitch?” Michael, apparently.
She gets a phone call from Skyla, who reports grandma is living in a fantasy world and doesn’t make much sense, which means she and Angela have a lot in common. Angela explains that this is dementia, and Skyla suspects it’s related to Mother Angela pulling out her oxygen the night before. Between the stress and her smoking habits, Angela is on the fast track to a heart attack, and Michael just wants her to calm down. After this phone conversation Angela tells Michael that this is the type of stress she’s been under, and she’s scared she might not see her mother again. This is sort of like apologizing, but not. She tells Michael she still wants to get married, and Michael is happy he’ll live to be verbally battered another day.
Asuelu says things are really tense, and no one wants to talk to him because he specifically asked everyone not to talk to him. Low wants to take him for a walk with the dog, so he can show him where he plans to bury his body. He asks Asuelu what’s going on, and Asuelu says that no one is interested in hearing his side. Low knows that Samoan culture is different, and is glad he has that personal experience so they have a better chance of understanding each other. Asuelu says that conversation was all a big misunderstanding, because he meant to call Kalani a bitch at least twice. He adds that sometimes he says things in English that don’t make sense, because he simply doesn’t know English well enough to correct any gaffs. Low says that’s not acceptable, and it ruined Oliver’s birthday party, and there are consequences for behaving that way. Asuelu asks, “Like time-out?” And Low says nope, it’s big-boy danger, like a good old-fashion Samoan ass-whooping, and he needs to apologize to Kalani. Low is getting fed up with the chances he’s given Asuelu, and he says he’s trying his best not to get violent, but he’s going to have to learn how to treat his wife.
For his part, Asuelu seems lighter after this conversation, since Low did listen to him before offering advice in a compassionate manner. So he wants to prove to Low that he meant what he said, and will go and apologize to Kalani, and will try to be a better father and husband…when Low is around. Otherwise he plans to pout on a swing set eating a snow cone or something.
Syngin calls his brother Dylan, since he just found out Dylan was in the ICU with a blood clot. The clot started after a knee injury, and the clot traveled up to his lungs, which is the last step before it reaches the heart and causes death. Dylan says he’s lucky to be alive, and fuck, this dude is only 25 years old. Syngin says he’s very close to his brother, and he was trapped in the states (alone) on the K-1 when his Gran died, and realizes he’d go crazy if he couldn’t be there for his brother. Dylan admits he’s craving some comforting, and Syngin says he’ll try to figure out a way to travel to South Africa. Dylan asks if he’ll bring Tania, and Syngin isn’t sure, because they’ve been having some problems, and he might be using this trip to disappear forever.
Syngin meets with Tania after physical therapy for her own knee injury, and she reveals that the doctor said she should be walking a lot better, so she should probably try to, you know, walk. Syngin confesses he really wants to go to South Africa to be with his brother, but he doesn’t know if their financial limits allow for it. In a shocking twist, Tania 100% understands his need to see his brother, and admits she would respond the same way with her own family, so she’s supportive of his travel plans. This apparently shocks Syngin, too, because instead of stating he’d rather go alone he asks if she’d like to come, and reminds her that she’s his family, too. It’s Tania’s turn to be surprised, since she was thinking what the rest of us at home were: he’s going to bounce. She’s a bit uneasy about joining him, since they’re still having problems, and isn’t flying with a leg injury something that increases the likelihood of a blood clot of her own? I’m not a doctor, but I do know traveling around South Africa with another person literally on your back is a great way to confuse the locals, and all of us at home.
NEXT WEEK: Libby’s dad and bro arrive to be verbally abused by ingrate Andrei while Libby makes faces, Paul continues to deliver on the slapstick by dropping an air conditioner out a window, Michael thinks Angela is going to cook and both of them run from a fly-covered goat head, and Debbie drains the marrow of everyone in Jess’ family.
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Where the neck turns, the head goes: recap of Happily Ever After S05E06

Who wants to marry a stupid bitch?
Does anyone else need this show this week to salve the seeping wound of 2020? I do. So let’s recap this bitch!
Jess is realizing that Larissa’s warning might be truth in reporting, as Debbie flounces around slamming doors, and Colt makes excuses for her by saying that she’s tired, drenched in boob sweat, and thousands of miles from where everything has been exactly the same for forty years. Jess and Colt go out to dinner, and Colt says he got a second hotel room, so they can have sex. Has he mentioned they’re having the sex? Jess tries to suss out why Debbie detonated shortly after hello, and Colt says that she’s over-protective, which is something Jess should know about, since she lost a parent, too. Instead Jess insists that she somehow was able to become an adult anyway, and then calls him a baby man, and he says that’s not fair; he prefers man-baby. Jess is nervous about introducing Colt to her family members, because they’re fun and he’s Colt, but at least there’s only one of him. Oh wait, Debbie. Jess ponders whether getting Debbie shit-faced will inspire a personality to emerge, and Colt just gives her his constipated kitten face, and says sex again.
In case you were wondering, Jess and Colt have sex. We revisit this topic when Colt wakes up and goes to fluff his mother. Debbie is eating breakfast, demanding to know why she was left alone in the room after demanding to be left alone in the room. Colt says that they were having sex, and Jess is kind of loud, but there’s no one to rescue her no matter her screams. He asks Debbie to make some effort to know Jess, since Debs reportedly went with him on this adventure in order to meet her. Debbie says that she was barely there an hour and Jess and Colt were already talking about their hypothetical children, and Debbie did not expect Colt to have a future. Colt is starting to think his mother is just there to sabotage he and Jess, and he says, “I understand you’re tired, but you don’t have to be an asshole.”
“YES I DO!” Debbie retorts. “I’m done! I’M DONE!”
Colt asks what Debbie thinks of Jess so far, and Debbie says, without irony: “I spent ten minutes with her…she seems to have a goal, or a plan.” Colt asks her to get to know her, and Debbie asks if that means leaving the hotel or enjoying herself, and Colt assures her she can just drain the beach of joy instead.
Jess knows Debbie is coming by how the temperature drops and the sun starts to darken. Debbie’s cautious, because in her view Larissa used Colt, and the part where Colt used Larissa right back totes didn’t happen. After a few antagonistic growling statements because Colt is in danger of having a life, Debbie says they need to get along, while doing nothing to be friendly. Debs thinks it’s strange that Colt went from one Brazilian to the next, and never considers for a second this is because Colt likes Brazilian women. Jess is now convinced that Larissa was telling her the truth about Debbie. She tries to find some joy in Debbie, and again asserts the importance of getting Debbie drunk. This will not end well. Nancy Reagan should have solicited Debbie’s services for her war on drugs, because no matter your level of intoxication, Debbie will kill your buzz.
Good news! Hot lawyer Adam is back, and an unbelievably healthy fiddle leaf fig guest stars from the hallway. Larissa is there to put in a job application, I guess. Larissa is pretty sure Adam’s wife wouldn’t like her as his assistant, due to what she would be assisting him with. She’s hoping to get her charges reduced to disorderly conduct, so she can get the third punch in her domestic violence card later. Adam hopes the camera folks are getting his good angle, which is all of his angles, and is pleased with the surge of business he’s enjoying from people who don’t seem to have any legal problems at all. His wife has questions, sure, but the answer is in that new boat, and sure he’ll do another season. He asks Larissa if she wants to put him on retainer or what, and she says her teeth are fine, so he invoices the producers directly.
Larissa and Eric are still pretending to date. The best part of this scene is the unplanned crotch flash that happens when Larissa elegantly crams her hand between her legs to yank the chair forward. Once seated, they hope to have the most boring conversation possible, and they succeed. The only interesting part of this scene is watching Larissa attempt to eat when she can’t feel her lips, which inspires food to dangle helplessly from her lower pucker before taking a dive.
Libby is ready to complain for the duration of their wedding venue hunt, and Andrei plans to dust off a fresh batch of insults for the occasion. She’s uneasy about putting Eleanor in car time-out with Father Andrei while they look at a place, especially since they forgot to crack the windows. Andrei calls her OCD, and says in Moldova people don’t suffocate like pussy Americans. Do you think these two know that they’re already married, and this is just extra for Andrei’s family? Will someone tell them?
The first venue is a casino strip mall, and Libby hates it before they even arrive. Libby considers the venue a cross between a bowling alley in 1973 and the Louisville airport (present day) — two places more appealing than the backseat of a car driven by these two, and yes, I’d book it. After Libby is done looking around with a disgusted expression, the poor woman showing them around invites them to look at delicious photos of food, which is too extreme of a diet for Libby. Andrei is stoked on the menu, while Libby expresses concern that there isn’t any picnic fare, and not a red SOLO cup in sight. Libby is nervous about her family having to acknowledge that they’re in a different country, so she lies and says Americans have cheeseburgers and fried chicken at weddings, because nothing classes up casino nuptials like greasy food dribbling down your titty-popping dress. Andrei helpfully points out that there’s a McDonald’s across the street, and Libby doesn’t say, “maybe you should pick up a job application,” but she should have. Instead she hunts for a fresh way to express displeasure without actually doing anything about it.
Libby declares the venue bullshit, and walks out so they can have an exit fight. She says her family has a lot of concerns…I’ll just leave it at that, since it covers every season of their story. Andrei accuses her of being hangry, and says they should stop and get food, but Libby hasn’t hated this venue enough yet. She pops off about not wanting to book any place where they can’t taste the food first (fair enough), and Andrei says she’s fucking annoying. Libby demands that he stop interrupting her when she’s being annoying, and this inspires him to interrupt her some more, and then again, until Libby walks away in disgust, which is a nice drumroll to her doing whatever this insecure, nutless, knuckle dragger wants in the next scene.
Libby says their disagreements are an every day thing, but yes, he’s acting different in Moldova. Why is she working for her dad when she could take this spin to a PR firm? All the same, this fight apparently evaporated into the air, because it’s not mentioned again when they check out venue #2, which looks exactly like the sort of venue Libby would choose. Libby = if Bed, Bath, and Beyond were a person. Andrei = if leather trench coats were a person. They bring out shot glasses of meat and other delicacies, which Libby declares good, and Andrei translates the cost as around $6,400. Andrei then says it doesn’t matter the cost, her dad is going to pay it. This man became entitled in record time, and I suppose this is what happens when your only financial planning is asking dad. Why does she want to marry him once, let alone twice? Was all his responsibility in his old haircut?
Andrei, his parents, and Libby are all cramming poor defenseless Eleanor into a stroller. She tries to escape, then realizes she should probably learn to walk first. Andrei shows her the neighborhood where he grew up, and the cameras race to see who can capture the most destitute part first. He said they used to break windows for fun, and Libby is confused, and Andrei says this was just a test to see if she was paying attention. What they really did was roll unguarded construction equipment into the road. They arrive at a park and take a photo by a tree. Apparently, the park is “on the older side” which in the PacNW is considered an asset, but not for Libby’s plastic coated life, and she’s a little bit concerned about germs. Seriously, is this her first kid exposure? My godson at one point licked a metal railing up and down with no pants on, while his sister sat on the ground trying to eat cedar chips. Sure, all the adults around them got sympathetic staph infections, but those two were just fine.
Mother Andrei asks if Libby has anything negative to contribute, and of course she does. Father Andrei says even though their “standards are lower compared to America,” they still love their country. Then Libby is asked to say something negative to further alienate Andrei’s family, so she says her family has no filter, because she doesn’t know that passive-aggression is a filter. Mother Andrei doesn’t believe that he planned the wedding last minute so her family couldn’t come, and Libby doesn’t understand why Mother Andrei isn’t on her team, after insulting her country and warning her about how horrible her family is.
“This is kind of starting to piss me off,” Low adds, and I concur, Low. I concur.
So in the next scene, Libby draws a hard line and HA HA HA good one. After another empty, sassy interview, Libby is ready to convert to the religion she can’t even name, and has zero curiosity about, but hey, let’s laugh at the guy carrying corn. The baptism requires her to dress in white along with a veil, and she asks if the men have to wear them too, because she’s going for superficially empowered “I’m not a feminist, but…” for this round. 1.) You know men don’t have to wear them, stop it. 2.) You don’t have to wear it either. The way you do this, is stop following this chode’s orders. But fuck that! Instead she does a little stand-turn-blow away the devil-turn-splash-Jesus! The priest puts a cross around her neck, and walks in a circle around the table, alongside Andrei’s sister-in-law Ina, who clearly hates Libby. Then the priest cuts off a lock of Libby’s hair, because Paul promised to pay top dollar for that shit.
“All of this seems very dated, and I want to be seen on the same level as men,” Libby states. “I don’t want to actually be on the same level, just perceived that way.”
Afterwards they all go out for dinner along with Libby’s negativity, so Andrei can offer more of his selective translation services about how men are from mars, women are from Venus. Libby doesn’t wear the cross she was just handed, and the family is concerned because it attaches a guardian angel…which she doesn’t know, because she doesn’t give a shit. Andrei says that goes to show he has to tell her everything. His brother is unimpressed with Andrei’s toxic masculinity, and seems to be noticing that Andrei is compensating for being a housewife by regurgitating man-meat stereotypes, and he should confine that shit to Reddit like a man.
Ina thinks gender expectations are fun, and Andrei lies and says he wants to earn money, but Libby convinced him otherwise. She then declares it was Libby’s responsibility to direct Andrei. “Women are the neck and men are the head,” she explains. “Where the neck turns, the head goes.” Andrei translates this as “the man is the brains, and the woman is the neck. The brain chokes the life out of neck, then tells it turn goddammit. Also, blow jobs and football. Monster trucks. Beef. How am I manning?”
“My family has always encouraged women to be very independent,” says that woman living off of her father’s money and doing everything her husband says. “I have no self-awareness, and I’ll have to put him in his place!” Libby lies, in sassy.
Angela is planning a wedding in a few weeks, and describes it as a job. Michael wakes her up and she starts getting out of bed, and says, “I’m trying to cover my cooter right now.” She is all business, while Michael is horny, probably because she triggered his junk with that super hot cooter line. Angela shows Michael that she got him not one but two suits for the wedding, and he’s shocked at the price of them, and the utter style of the purple suit. He does this weird ecstatic marriage dance on the bed, which is the second awkward dance of the season, so they have to be getting a bonus for these. Either way, it makes Angela laugh, but ha ha ha don’t get too comfortable.
Michael is taking her to meet the ex-pats. He’s been hearing about life in America from them, and he’s nervous. Michael explains that they have dual citizenship, which Angela insists on pronouncing “dool.” They warned him about segregation in certain places, and how black folks are routinely executed without trial by police. Angela fails to note that black folks might have a different perspective of American life than hers, and thinks Michael should just watch that July 4th parade on the VHS tape she sent him over and over, until his Murica tank is USA, and his Donald Trump underpants breed in his drawer. Then he says something about her staying in Nigeria instead, and come on dude, she’s got six grandkids she’s caring for a dying mother.
“That’s a no for me. Unless I can’t get another season of Happily Ever After, and need to make a play for The Other Way. Then maybe, if I get to spend most of the season deciding.” I see you, Angela.
Angela apparently didn’t watch the show last season, because she’s surprised to learn that his friends are women. The minute she sees them she goes from menthols to Lucky Strike, declares their relationship a wrap (again) and gets in the car for more incoherent screaming. Come the fuck on. This dude was dancing on the bed about marrying her fifteen minutes ago. Can’t she just enjoy her relationship already? This leaves all of Michael’s friends shocked, and all of us at home wondering if her storyline is ever going to get more complicated.
In their next scene Angela is still exploding, and Michael doesn’t say anything, because what’s the point.
“I’m not a stupid woman,” she lies. “Who wants to marry a stupid bitch?” Michael, apparently.
She gets a phone call from Skyla, who reports grandma is living in a fantasy world and doesn’t make much sense, which means she and Angela have a lot in common. Angela explains that this is dementia, and Skyla suspects it’s related to Mother Angela pulling out her oxygen the night before. Between the stress and her smoking habits, Angela is on the fast track to a heart attack, and Michael just wants her to calm down. After this phone conversation Angela tells Michael that this is the type of stress she’s been under, and she’s scared she might not see her mother again. This is sort of like apologizing, but not. She tells Michael she still wants to get married, and Michael is happy he’ll live to be verbally battered another day.
Asuelu says things are really tense, and no one wants to talk to him because he specifically asked everyone not to talk to him. Low wants to take him for a walk with the dog, so he can show him where he plans to bury his body. He asks Asuelu what’s going on, and Asuelu says that no one is interested in hearing his side. Low knows that Samoan culture is different, and is glad he has that personal experience so they have a better chance of understanding each other. Asuelu says that conversation was all a big misunderstanding, because he meant to call Kalani a bitch at least twice. He adds that sometimes he says things in English that don’t make sense, because he simply doesn’t know English well enough to correct any gaffs. Low says that’s not acceptable, and it ruined Oliver’s birthday party, and there are consequences for behaving that way. Asuelu asks, “Like time-out?” And Low says nope, it’s big-boy danger, like a good old-fashion Samoan ass-whooping, and he needs to apologize to Kalani. Low is getting fed up with the chances he’s given Asuelu, and he says he’s trying his best not to get violent, but he’s going to have to learn how to treat his wife.
For his part, Asuelu seems lighter after this conversation, since Low did listen to him before offering advice in a compassionate manner. So he wants to prove to Low that he meant what he said, and will go and apologize to Kalani, and will try to be a better father and husband…when Low is around. Otherwise he plans to pout on a swing set eating a snow cone or something.
Syngin calls his brother Dylan, since he just found out Dylan was in the ICU with a blood clot. The clot started after a knee injury, and the clot traveled up to his lungs, which is the last step before it reaches the heart and causes death. Dylan says he’s lucky to be alive, and fuck, this dude is only 25 years old. Syngin says he’s very close to his brother, and he was trapped in the states (alone) on the K-1 when his Gran died, and realizes he’d go crazy if he couldn’t be there for his brother. Dylan admits he’s craving some comforting, and Syngin says he’ll try to figure out a way to travel to South Africa. Dylan asks if he’ll bring Tania, and Syngin isn’t sure, because they’ve been having some problems, and he might be using this trip to disappear forever.
Syngin meets with Tania after physical therapy for her own knee injury, and she reveals that the doctor said she should be walking a lot better, so she should probably try to, you know, walk. Syngin confesses he really wants to go to South Africa to be with his brother, but he doesn’t know if their financial limits allow for it. In a shocking twist, Tania 100% understands his need to see his brother, and admits she would respond the same way with her own family, so she’s supportive of his travel plans. This apparently shocks Syngin, too, because instead of stating he’d rather go alone he asks if she’d like to come, and reminds her that she’s his family, too. It’s Tania’s turn to be surprised, since she was thinking what the rest of us at home were: he’s going to bounce. She’s a bit uneasy about joining him, since they’re still having problems, and isn’t flying with a leg injury something that increases the likelihood of a blood clot of her own? I’m not a doctor, but I do know traveling around South Africa with another person literally on your back is a great way to confuse the locals, and all of us at home.
NEXT WEEK: Libby’s dad and bro arrive to be verbally abused by ingrate Andrei while Libby makes faces, Paul continues to deliver on the slapstick by dropping an air conditioner out a window, Michael thinks Angela is going to cook and both of them run from a fly-covered goat head, and Debbie drains the marrow of everyone in Jess’ family.
Thank you, Patreon supporters! For recaps of The Other Way: patreon.com/fractalfay
submitted by fractalfay to u/fractalfay [link] [comments]

[MEGATHREAD] Cube V3 Tour

The original Megathread got archived automatically by Reddit, so I've now re-upped it.
This megathread is to compile all the information into 1 place so that information can be accessed more easily and smoothly. Please post all questions/comments on this thread. This includes selling/buying tickets, meetup plans, etc. Any further posts about the tour, including questions, will be removed.
Please feel free to use the "#live-shows" channel on the subreddit Discord server to discuss and post about the tour.
Next, please use Reddit’s spoiler feature when discussing things about the tour that others want to be surprised about. As posted in the sidebar, you can now hide your text on Reddit, so please utilize this feature in posts and comments. Don’t ruin the fun for other members of the horde!

Media

The tour will feature the brand new, highly-anticipated “Cube V3” – with new visuals completely designed by Deadmau5 himself!
NOTE: While the UMF 2019 set may spoil some things for the tour, Joel has confirmed on Reddit that there will be A LOT of changes for the tour - including new visuals and NEW MUSIC! Ultra was essentially just a way to test out the new system before tour season begins.

For those who cannot make it to the show, here's a recording of one of the shows in full (Though keep in mind the setlist changes each show)

Tour website: www.CubeV3.com

  • Tour schedule
  • Buy tickets
  • Sign up for text updates

New merch website: www.Mau5Hop.com

Tour Dates:

Set times, ticket prices, age restrictions, and other regulations vary for each venue, so your best bet for specific venue questions would be to visit venues' websites or call them.

The set length will be about 2 hours and 15 minutes, and the opening sets will each be about an hour long.

VIP PACKAGES:

1) deadmau5 On Stage Experience:
-One Premium Reserved or General Admission ticket to the show
-One (1) Meet & Greet with deadmau5*
-One (1) Individual photo with deadmau5*
-The ability to watch the first 3 songs of deadmau5’s set, side-stage*
-Exclusive access to special VIP pre-show production tour (see the new cube up close and personal)*
-One commemorative VIP laminate
-One exclusive merchandise item
-Priority entry into the venue*
2) deadmau5 VIP Meet & Greet Experience:
-One Premium Reserved or General Admission ticket to the show
-One (1) Meet & Greet with deadmau5*
-One (1) Individual photo with deadmau5*
-Exclusive access to special VIP pre-show production tour (see the new cube up close and personal)*
-One commemorative VIP laminate
-One exclusive merchandise item
-Priority entry into the venue*
3) deadmau5 VIP Cube Tour Experience:
-One Premium Reserved or General Admission ticket to the show
-Exclusive access to pre-show production tour*
-One commemorative VIP laminate
-One exclusive merchandise item
-Priority entry into the venue*
* = no liquids permitted side stage (alcohol, soda, etc)*side stage locations will operate in a different format from city to city depending on local venue capabilities *production tour done in groups of 10*meet & greet and photo opportunity may occur after general doors have opened

MORE DATES WILL BE ANNOUNCED SOON:

No need to complain yet that you don’t see the city that you wanted. Joel also confirmed on Mau5Trap Radio Episode #28 that although this first part of the tour is United States only, they are working on plans for worldwide dates afterwards.
GUEST VOCALS:
  • LIGHTS (EVERY SHOW)
  • SOFI (Select shows only)
OPENERS: (In alphabetical order:)
  • ATTLAS
  • BlackGummy
  • Callie Reiff
  • E̶D̶D̶I̶E̶ (EDIT: CANCELLED DUE TO VISA ISSUES - replaced by Bentley Dean & Julian Gray)
  • Getter
  • i_o
  • Jay Robinson
  • Justin Martin
  • k?d
  • LIGHTS
  • Liquid Stranger
  • Mad Zach
  • Monstergetdown
  • MSTRKRFT
  • No Mana
  • QRION
  • Sara Landry
  • Sian
  • Sysdemes

AFTERPARTIES:

  1. Great Hall Stage: Testpilot, Layton Giordani, Rinzen
  2. Kings Hall Stage: ATTLAS, BlackGummy, MSTRKRFT, SIAN, Speaker Honey
  3. Lost Circus Stage: Todd Edwards, Jay Robinson, Gooey Vuitton

LOS ANGELES POP-UP SHOP:

What:
  • Special pop-up shop with an interactive art & music installation (powered by Specdrums from Sphero)
  • Buy exclusive merch
  • See special displays (i.e. mau5heads, McLaren 720s Spider, etc.)
  • Meet Mau5Trap artists & get stuff signed
  • Drink Corona
Where:
  • Sunset Strip - 1114 Horn Ave, West Hollywood, CA 90069
When:
  • Thurs. September 26th to Sat. September 28th
  • 12:00PM - 8:00PM PDT
  • Deadmau5 signing from 3:00PM - 5:00PM PDT on 26th and 27th
  • i_o signing from 2:00PM -5:00PM PDT on 27th; 4:00PM - 6:00PM on 28th
  • Various Mau5Trap artists appearing/signing on 28th (including a Q&A panel from 1:00PM - 2:00PM PDT)

DENVER POP-UP SHOP:

What:
  • Special pop-up shop with an interactive art & music installation (powered by Specdrums from Sphero)
  • Buy exclusive merch
  • See special displays (i.e. mau5heads, McLaren 720s Spider, etc.)
  • Meet Mau5Trap artists & get stuff signed
  • Drink Corona
Where:
  • 2100 Larimer Street, Denver, CO 80205 (Intersection of Larimer & 21st Street)
When:
  • Fri. November 1st to Sat. November 2nd
  • 11:00PM - 8:00PM MDT (both days)
  • Deadmau5 signing from 2:00PM - 4:00PM MDT (both days)
  • i_o signing from 5:00PM - 5:45PM MDT (Nov. 1 only)
  • Other Mau5Trap artists signing from 5:30PM -7:30PM MDT (Nov. 2 only)

NEW YORK CITY POP-UP SHOP:

What:
  • Special pop-up shop with an interactive art & music installation (powered by Specdrums from Sphero)
  • Buy exclusive merch
  • See special displays (i.e. mau5heads, McLaren 720s Spider, etc.)
  • Meet Mau5Trap artists & get stuff signed
  • Drink Corona
Where:
  • 260 Johnson Ave, Brooklyn, NY, 11206
When:
  • Thurs. February 6th to Sun. February 9th
  • 12:00PM - 6:00PM EST (both days)
  • Deadmau5 signing from 3:00PM - 5:00PM EST (Feb. 7th & Feb. 8th only)

SETLIST:

NOTE: Keep in mind, the below setlist compiles every track he's played at the shows so far in order - so therefore, he doesn't play ALL of these songs each show. Every show has a slightly different setlist.
BOLDED = Unreleased
  1. Deadmau5 - No Problem (Intro Edit)
  2. Deadmau5 - Where My Keys
  3. Deadmau5 - Infra Turbo Pigcart Racer
  4. Deadmau5 - Suckfest 9001
  5. Deadmau5 - Some Chords
  6. Deadmau5 - Some Chords (Dillon Francis Remix)
  7. Deadmau5 - Maths
  8. Deadmau5 - Maths (Cobra Effect Remix)
  9. Deadmau5 - Coelacanth (OV)
  10. Deadmau5 - My Pet Coelacanth
  11. Deadmau5 - Moar Ghosts ‘N’ Stuff
  12. Deadmau5 Ft. Rob Swire - Ghosts ‘N’ Stuff
  13. Deadmau5 Ft. Rob Swire - Monophobia
  14. Deadmau5 - Cthulhu Sleeps
  15. Deadmau5 - Imaginary Friends
  16. Deadmau5 - FML (Intro Edit + “I Remember” Vocal Edit)
  17. Deadmau5 – Fall
  18. Deadmau5 - Sometimes Things Get, Whatever
  19. Deadmau5 - Avaritia (“The Longest Road” Vocal Edit)
  20. Deadmau5 - Three Pound Chicken Wing (“The Longest Road” Vocal Edit)
  21. Deadmau5 - Where Phantoms Sleep ("The Longest Road" Vocal Edit)
  22. Deadmau5 Ft. Greta Svabo Bech - Raise Your Weapon [Featuring live vocals from LIGHTS]
  23. Deadmau5 Ft. Greta Svabo Bech - Raise Your Weapon (Noisia Remix) [Featuring live vocals from LIGHTS]
  24. Deadmau5 Ft. LIGHTS - Drama Free [Featuring live vocals from LIGHTS]
  25. Deadmau5 - Midas’ Heel
  26. Deadmau5 Ft. Shotty Horroh - Legendary
  27. Deadmau5 - Ban Hammer (cover of "Crockett's Theme" by Jan Hammer)
  28. Deadmau5 - Satrn
  29. Deadmau5 - Coasted
  30. Deadmau5 Ft. Chris James - The Veldt
  31. Deadmau5 Ft. Chris James - The Veldt (Eric Prydz Edit)
  32. Deadmau5 Ft. Chris James - The Veldt (Tommy Trash Remix)
  33. Deadmau5 - Strobe
  34. Deadmau5 - Speed, Violence, Momentum
  35. Deadmau5 - Nosedive
Encore:
  1. Deadmau5 Ft. SOFI - Sofi Needs A Ladder (Legend Of Zelda Intro Edit) [Featuring live vocals from SOFI]
  2. Deadmau5 - Arguru (2019 Remaster)
  3. Deadmau5 Ft. Rob Swire - Monophobia
  4. Deadmau5 Ft. Kiesza - Bridged By A Light Wave

BONUS:

Here's a list of most of the Cube V3 "fun facts" shown on the cube before the show!
submitted by Good4Josh2 to deadmau5 [link] [comments]

[Casino Pier] Trip Report! Really stupid employee did something really stupid during a pandemic.

Today I went to Casino pier I will get right into an incident that left me baffled,and really confused why they did this...
The incident happened on a ride called Centrifuge,its an indoor scrambler ride. I went up to the entrance,scanned my wristband and was told that I might not get on because I am a single rider,I still go through the queue (Really cool queue) and was told I couldn't ride (I was confused because its a scrambler but I knew that there was a possibility I couldn't get on) I walk out of the queue,and later in the day I walked by centrifuge with my mom,the employee told another kid that wanted to ride that was single rider that I wanted to ride and we can ride together,he told the description of me to them and I was told the description of the dad. I was kinda confused (but I just shrugged it off because I had something similar happen at Six Flags America Pre Pandemic on a flat ride but the supervisor rode with me and we had a good chat and it was a younger kid) Then 20 minutes later I came off a ride and the Dad and son confronted my mom and I. She said that we will Not be riding the ride because we are doing 1 more ride than leaving. I was just baffled because we are in a Pandemic and the park promotes social distancing,yet an employee wanted to stick a stranger with me on a scrambler ride in the dark that basically squeezes the person on the inside of the two people riding. (Also to note there is nothing on the website or sign that there where no Single riders)

Now the other coasters
Pirates Hideaway-AKA Egg Beater Lift hill Coaster In a Warehouse. This was an interesting ride,but why is it a thing. This coaster reminds me of Half of Movie Remakes,the Movie was really good until they remade the movie and then its meh... Its probably the same with this coaster,It was a good old Mack Wild Mouse coaster and then they made it a Steel Wild Mouse Coaster. Its nice to get a sequel sorta and its still kinda Cedar Point History because Wizard's Cavern was at CP. I kinda liked the lift hill and it wasn't as painful as I have seen in other videos,the coaster is just There and I honestly wouldn't care if it got removed or moved to a smaller park

Hot Tamales-Its a fun little Kiddie Coaster,its good for the kids. You went around 6 time (Kinda Lost Track).It was pretty Smooth

Hydrus-This coaster is definitely a fit for this park! The ride is short but sweet,just wished the coaster had a final Helix. Got 8 rides on it and its smooth,I got a 2 hour wrist band and I just kept on riding it and a couple other rides (A couple of the Thrill rides were closed,but I heard that Sea Storm the Frisbee is being delivered tomorrow). Its a really smooth ride and I really like the lapbars (I also think the ops were getting annoyed that I was re riding so I took breaks and did other rides but I could've easily gotten a lot more rides on that thing)

My favorite ride in the park is the S&S shot tower,Shore Shot! This S&S shot tower is so much time with alot of airtime,and the ride cycles twice so I easily took advantage of it making it one of my favorite rides just because it cycles twice and I freaking lifted out of my seat, (Also amazing views from all sides)
submitted by bigmac1789 to rollercoasters [link] [comments]

A Tyson Foods board member was held ransom for $87,250 in December, 2018. Now released, he says Tyson is suppressing police investigations into finding his captors and threatening legal action if he speaks about his abduction.

Myra Kindle is an independent investigative reporter.
Her other reports:

Once Enviable

At six foot one, 41 years of age, and net worth of hundreds of millions, prodigious venture capitalist Dean Banks should be the envy of the world. But he’s not.
Dean struggles to leave his house, says he feels an impending sense of doom, and is prone to sudden outbursts of crying. None of this is unusual for a recovering survivor of a ransom kidnapping, an experience which can test our ability to feel safe in any space afterward.
What is unusual is that since the kidnapping Dean has become a vigorous advocate of free range chicken farms, and now refuses to eat the animal himself. An odd trauma for a survivor to come away with, but one more consequential to Dean, who in 2017 became a member of the board of directors at Tyson Foods, one of America’s largest suppliers of chicken.
Now, facing the possibility of dismissal from the board at Tyson, and angry at the lack of coverage in the media, Dean has agreed to speak on the record for the first time since the incident.
Dean claims Tyson conducted an illegal ransom payment to free him, and that they have humiliated him by disbelieving his account of the kidnapping. Dean also says Tyson played a significant part in shutting down two police investigations into what happened, and that Tyson has been suppressing his speech since he has tried to say publicly that they promote the cruel treatment of chickens.
Based on dozens of interviews with Mr. Banks, representatives from Tyson Foods Inc, and law enforcement in Idaho and Wyoming, as well as documents and correspondence provided by Banks and other sources, this special investigative report by independent journalist Myra Kindle lays out in chilling horror the six day ordeal and subsequent coverup of the Dean Banks kidnapping.

Breaking with Corporate

On a late afternoon on December 12th, 2018, Dean Banks left his winter home in Sun Valley, Idaho. He planned to drive 3.4 miles from his home to a grocery store, a drive he has made many times before.
He never arrived, and instead would not be seen until six days later on December 18th, when he was found severely dehydrated and rambling emotionally outside of a bar in a town close to the border in neighboring Wyoming.
The details of the intervening six days are a topic of dispute between the police, Tyson, and Dean Banks, with each party giving wildly different versions of what happened. What is agreed with no dispute by any party is that Dean Banks has been irrevocably changed.
“An abduction is an extremely traumatic experience,” says Linsey Windsor, adjunct professor at UCLA psychology. “Security is a fundamental human need. An abduction, especially in an area we typically think of as safe, can instill a feeling that we’re never safe. The long term effects of that on a person can be devastating -- their personality can completely change.”
If personality changes are normal, then for Banks it’s his views on raising chickens that have changed.
“We treat them so poorly,” Dean says. “I get that people are going to eat chicken. I understand that’s not going to change. What I don’t understand is why we have to be so cruel to chickens during their short life.”
Dean’s argument is not substantively new. Chicken farms have often been the target of animal rights activists who argue chickens aren’t given enough space to walk, and live most of their life in a dark crowded coops, eating till they’re ready for slaughter.
More complicated for Dean is his view that the company for which he serves on the board promotes animal cruelty.
“I think Tyson plays a huge part in the treatment of chickens,” says Dean. “It’s not even that I think it -- I know it. We’re involved in how farms raise chickens because we’re the main buyer. If we said we’re not going to buy your chickens unless you give them more space to roam, we could change farms all over the country.”
Dean’s views are seldom heard publicly, and aside from a few quickly taken down YouTube videos, this is the first national reporting on the Tyson board member.
Tyson claims they had nothing to do with flagging Mr. Banks’s YouTube videos, and also takes umbrage at Dean’s argument that Tyson promotes animal cruelty.
“Tyson Foods plays no part in how chickens are raised,” Tyson spokesman Eli Hule says. “We are the distribution, and we do that proudly, but we’re not the farmers. We have no say over how chickens are raised.”
While it’s true Tyson owns very few farms themselves and is in mainly a distributor, Tyson works extensively with private farms to set up new chicken operations.
“Tyson doesn’t own the land, but they essentially tell farmers how to run their operation,” says Eduardo Porter, economics reporter for the New York Times. “For example if you want to invest in building a new chicken coop, a commercial bank typically won’t underwrite that loan. You go to a company like Tyson and say you’ll sell them chickens for X many years if they loan you the money to scale up. But in that agreement is the implicit understanding that if Tyson doesn't like what you’re building, say they think more chickens could fit in that coop you want to build, they’ll deny the request. They have incredible control over chicken farms. It’s just indirect control.”
Dean’s explanation for how he could go from Tyson board member to chicken rights activist?
“If you knew what it was like to be a chicken in a crowded, shit covered, dark coop with barely enough room to bend your legs, you wouldn't be asking me that,” says Dean.

Conflicting Stories

Outside a bar in Wyoming near the border of Idaho, Dean yelled frantically, emotionally, till the bar called the police and Dean was sent to St. John’s Medical Center in Jackson, Wyoming.
At the hospital, Dean was treated for dehydration and minor bruising, and then was moved to the mental health ward where he was kept under observation for three days.
Dean says he remembers nothing about how he got to Wyoming, or how he ended up specifically at that bar. For Dean, it’s the intervening six days that he remembers, but was also severely hesitant to talk about at first.
“I’m worried the public will say what Tyson says, what the police say, that I’m making it all up,” says Dean.
He has reason to be worried. Dean’s story is fantastical, and arguably the reason for a lot of his current troubles.
“I can’t deny what happened,” says Dean. “I can only tell you that they gave me the memory implants of a chicken’s life, and it was fucking horrifying.”
Hot and sweating in pitch black darkness with skant enough room to turn his neck, Dean describes his experience as living in “the horror of optimization from the perspective of the cog in the machine.”
“It’s dark. It’s hot. You’re standing on grating that cuts into your feet and you don’t even have enough room to rotate your body,” says Dean. “And then the screams, the never ending screams of a room of creatures that don’t understand what’s happening but know they’re in pain. All the while the smell of feces is just putrid. The chickens are stacked, so the droppings from who was above me dropped onto my face, my body, and again I didn’t have enough room so I couldn't wipe it off. I just wanted to die, but even that was impossible.”
When asked how he understands his experience to be the implanted memories of a chicken, Dean says, “When I was taken, the kidnappers told me that they were going to fill my head with the memories of a chicken that lived and died in a high capacity farm. I didn’t believe them at first, of course, but the next thing my mind is filled with the sense of being something different. Like, just the sense of touch was different, the smell, and then I just felt I wasn’t me, and then the chickens started screaming, I could smell feces, and I didn’t know it at the time -- I mean didn’t understand anything, but when I was recovering at the hospital, I realized the kidnappers hadn’t been lying. They really did what they said they were going to do.”
Neither Tyson Foods nor police in Wyoming or Idaho believe Dean’s telling of his abduction, and have separate views themselves about what happened.
“We are overjoyed at Mr. Banks’s safe return,” says Eli Hule of Tyson Foods. “We are however greatly discouraged by scandalous media attempts to make his ordeal something it is not. It was a kidnapping. He was safely returned and we think that should be the focus right now.”
While Mr. Hule refused to elaborate on what happened to Banks, lawyers for Tyson provided the following statement: “Tyson Foods Inc. is extremely grateful to local law enforcement for the safe return of Dean Banks. In regards to Mr. Banks’s experience, it is our position that inflicted abuse on Mr. Banks should not dictate how Tyson runs its business, which is currently an industry leader in providing delicious, healthy chicken products to more than 250 million Americans every year.”
On the record, law enforcement in Idaho and Wyoming who have handled this case are equally suspicious of Mr. Banks’s story.
“We have no evidence to back Mr. Banks’s claim of being implanted with the memories of a chicken,” says attorney general for Wyoming, Bridget Hill. The Idaho attorney general referred me to Ms. Hill’s statement when asked for comment.
Off the record, local police officers were more forthcoming on their opinions of what happened to Mr. Banks.
“Totally believe him,” says officer Steve of Idaho, who asked I only use his first name. “This type of stuff happens all the time. Drug lords in Mexico put the memories of dogs in their hit men to toughen them up. This is nothing new.”
Another officer from Wyoming, who only agreed to speak anonymously, has another theory: “I don’t know about memory implants, but I’ll tell you that guy was on drugs when we picked him up, psychedelics or something.”
Asked if Dean’s experience could be explained with drugs, Dean says: “I went to college. It wasn’t drugs.”

The $87,250

Why was Dean Banks released on December 18th, 2018? It’s a question the police and Tyson don’t have an answer to, but one Dean readily has a response for.
In Dean’s telling, Tyson was contacted following his kidnapping and asked to pay $87,250 for his release. Dean notes that this request didn’t go to his family (who would have paid it, he says), but directly to Tyson corporate.
Tyson adamantly denies this, whose lawyers state: “Tyson did not pay a ransom for the release of board member Dean Banks, nor were we contacted by Dean’s kidnappers. Any story to the contrary is completely unfounded.”
Police also dispute there ever being a ransom, with AG Hill of Wyoming stating, “It is our position that this was not a ransom kidnapping, but rather an abduction. No money was sought to release Dean Banks, and he either escaped on his own or was released by his captors for reasons unknown.”
The denials by Tyson and police are clear, but there is contrary evidence there was indeed a ransom.
“It wasn’t even 48 hours before a friend of Dean’s contacted me to let me know what had happened,” Martha, Dean’s wife says. “They serve on the board together, and they filled me in on everything Tyson had learned. They said Dean had been kidnapped, but the kidnappers were only asking for $87,250. It was such a small amount that Tyson put the petty cash to pay the ransom the very next day. A few days later, he’s home.”
Martha declined to say who told her about the ransom and the payment, stating: “Do I really want to put another person in the same boat as Dean? Tyson might remove Dean from the board. I don't want that to happen to them too. They were simply trying to console me, let me know Dean would come back safe.”
Tyson has good reason to lie about making a ransom payment. Although prosecutions for it are nearly non-existent, under section 1202 of federal penal code 18, it is illegal to make a ransom payment.
While the legal liability for Tyson might be low, there almost certainly would be a media firestorm over Tyson Foods making an illegal ransom payment, no matter the ethics of the act. Large publicly traded companies will often squash a story unless it’s clearly beneficial to the company’s image.
“It’s a toxic story,” says Dean. “What’s the upside here? Some coverage that Tyson is a good company cause they paid a ransom? For Tyson, there’s no guarantee that would happen. Meanwhile, they know they’ll have to deal with a board member calling their farming practices cruel getting a national microphone. Of course they’d deny the ransom.”

No Investigation

Perhaps the most perplexing detail of Dean’s abduction is, why haven’t the kidnappers been caught?
It is just one question among the many that loom over Dean’s case. Why was he transported to Wyoming? Why, even if it didn’t happen, was he told he would be given the implanted memories of a chicken? Why was his ransom set at $87,250? Did Tyson make the payment?
Police in Wyoming and Idaho claim they are still investigating, but anonymous sources from inside investigating police departments have told me the case was given such low priority that they’re nearly certain it’ll never be solved.
That might be good for large parts of Wyoming and Idaho where many of America’s chickens are raised. A scandal involving Tyson and illegal ransom payments could financially harm thousands farmers and businesses that rely on that industry that Tyson is so central to.
“I think what’s good for the survivor here is going to be bad for the community, so we’re just not going after this one,” says a detective in Idaho who only agreed to comment anonymously.
Meanwhile, Dean and his family are somewhat resigned that Dean’s captors will not be apprehended by law enforcement.
“Justice is hard enough to get when it’s what everyone wants,” says Dean. “But in this case, I think I’m the only one who wants it, so what kind of a chance is that, really?”
In Dean’s telling, Tyson is actively suppressing the police investigation by denying the ransom.
“For fear of cutting into profits from bad press coverage,” he says,” Tyson is willing to let someone who committed a serious crime go free.”
“If we speak about the ransom,” says Martha, “Tyson has threatened to sue on defamation. It’s a risk just talking to you now.”

Wellis Farms

Since I started covering this story in February, I’ve driven countless hours on midwestern roads between Sun Valley, Idaho and Jackson, Wyoming. Along the way I stopped at several chicken farms to learn, first hand, how chickens are kept and raised, and to verify Dean’s claim of arguable animal cruelty at many of these farms.
It was by chance when I was coming back across the border into Idaho that I found Wellis farms, a small operation with extremely talkative farmer that was thrilled that I was asking him questions about how chickens are treated.
“Beyond cruel,” Wellis says, showing me around his farm in an acid washed durag and white t-shirt. “If a chicken could do it, they'd commit suicide in those densely packed coops.”
He’s happy to show me his farm, regularly pointing to the chickens that roam mostly free in a large enclosed area.
“I’m not a vegetarian,” says Wellis. “Hell I eat ‘em, and they just taste better when they’re raised right. When they’re raised as slaves and they know it, they taste bitter. I taste a chicken I can tell you how much room that chicken has to run around. Swear.”
In one corner of the farm is a dilapidated chicken coop. I ask Wellis about it, and it’s the only time his mood sours during the whole tour.
“Hundred grand mistake is what that is,” he says, and refuses to say much more. “It was a project and it didn't work out,” is all I can get him to add.
The tour was nice, and Wellis seems like a genuinely nice guy, but the failed chicken coop did pique my interest.
While not definitive evidence of wrongdoing, I was able to find a series of building plans filed with the local building inspector in Bonneville County, where Wellis Farms is located. Listed publicly for that property is a set of documents for construction of a chicken coop filed in 2011. There are two plans, one from Wellis, and a revised version by the underwriter of his loan, Tyson Foods. Wellis’s plan was a for a modestly packed coop. The revised plan from Tyson called for a chicken coop with eight times the occupancy. The amount for the loan, $87,250.
While perhaps just an amazing coincidence, this information was provided to Tyson, law enforcement in Wyoming and Idaho, and Dean Banks.
Tyson gave no comment when told about Wellis farms. Police stated that they are still investigating but appreciated “citizen efforts.”
Dean was the least ambivalent. After contacting Wellis, Dean said: “It’d be an awful thing if he was the one who kidnapped me, it really would. Because he doesn't seem like such a bad guy.”
Myra Kindle is an independent investigative reporter. She covers tech, law, politics, and other stories that would be impossible to write about in more traditional outlets.
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screen passes

submitted by digital4kcollector to u/digital4kcollector [link] [comments]

Subreddit Stats: rollercoasters posts from 2020-03-05 to 2020-04-09 04:02 PDT

Period: 35.16 days
Submissions Comments
Total 970 21271
Rate (per day) 27.59 588.50
Unique Redditors 488 2756
Combined Score 92279 96521

Top Submitters' Top Submissions

  1. 3255 points, 13 submissions: Bloggercoaster
    1. My daily cuarantine drawing! Today I bring you a crazy concept: do you remember "Loop the loop" at Coney Island in 1910? Well, what if instead of a loop it had been built a cobra-roll with a launched by slingshot system powered by steam and a water-pool brakes? Would you like to give a try? (545 points, 45 comments)
    2. I was cleaning my desk when I found this illustration I drew a few years ago of a Vekoma's Junior Coaster, inspired in some marine-coast theming. What do you think? (537 points, 40 comments)
    3. Since I am quarantined in my home (Barcelona), I have thought about making a daily coaster-related drawing and this is what I have done today (yay! I love homemade coasters!). I hope you like it! (451 points, 14 comments)
    4. Another old coaster drawing in my desk drawers. This time it's a Mack Rides wild mouse with an elevator lift system (inside the tower) and a pre-drop curve through a tunnel inside the mountain. Originally I thought of this design for Tibidabo park in Barcelona. I hope you like it! (388 points, 37 comments)
    5. New drawing! This time it's a Gerstlauer bobsled-coaster set in an alpine/forest theming. I made this design more than 10 years ago in NL1 and now I've decided to draw it. What do you think? (384 points, 20 comments)
    6. My daily quarantine drawing! Today I tried to draw the u/vekomatjex coaster model changing some proportions but trying to preserve the essence of the project with the utmost respect for the original. I hope you like it! (209 points, 9 comments)
    7. My daily cuarantine drawing! We are all familiar with the debate over whether or not Zamperla's Disk'o Coasters are real coasters. Well, my concept is to take this model further and turn it, once and for all, into a real coaster. Forget the physics for a few seconds, what do you think about? (199 points, 23 comments)
    8. My daily quarantine drawing today is dedicated to Alicia Stella, one of my favorite Twitter accounts, an essential reference on Orlando parks information and a great communicator. I hope you like it! (134 points, 13 comments)
    9. Daily drawing! I present to you a strange park located in high palaces and full of coasters, rides, towers and labyrinths. u/McyDworker won yesterday's challenge, so the name of the park goes in his honor. I hope you like it! (132 points, 12 comments)
    10. Looks like Groot and Pinocchio are'nt going to "enjoy" this flume-ride today... My daily drawing in moments of quarantine from Barcelona. Hope you like it! (81 points, 2 comments)
  2. 2301 points, 7 submissions: flyingdrums
    1. Iron Gwazi Weekly(ish) Aerial Update: March 11th, 2020 - The Final Photo (556 points, 71 comments)
    2. Iron Gwazi Weekly(ish) Aerial BONUS UPDATE: 3/8/2020 - FINAL PIECES OF TRACK INSTALLED! (469 points, 62 comments)
    3. These dummies on Iron Gwazi earlier this evening. (424 points, 36 comments)
    4. Here's Tigris upside down because I legit don't know what else to post right now. (328 points, 16 comments)
    5. Iron Gwazi Weekly(ish) Aerial Update: 3/9/2020 - Two pieces of track remaining! (269 points, 55 comments)
    6. Cheetah Hunt diving into the trees (194 points, 7 comments)
    7. Iron Gwazi Aerial Timelapse - take 2 - Includes all aerial updates, fly by videos, and an aerial clip of testing. (61 points, 10 comments)
  3. 2072 points, 12 submissions: vekomatjex
    1. Quarantine Coaster Day 10: Final helix reprofiled and completed, just a few minor tweaks to go! POV camera ordered as well so on ride footage will be coming this weekend (394 points, 19 comments)
    2. Quarantine Coaster Day Three! Working lift mechanism and first drop in place. Track needs widening a tad but that’s now a job for tomorrow! (304 points, 27 comments)
    3. Quarantine Coaster Update: It’s not a POV since the camera arrived broken, and none of the other supplies arrived at all, but I thought you all may appreciate a quick off ride shot in the meantime! (269 points, 16 comments)
    4. Quarantine Coaster Day 11: Track work complete! Just a couple of minor tweaks to go, so I’ll be back with you on Sunday when it’s all finished off with a full POV and more! (197 points, 18 comments)
    5. Quarantine Coaster Day 8: Turnaround complete and lift supports widened. Coming along quite nicely now! (194 points, 17 comments)
    6. Quarantine Coaster Day 7: Thought I would post a video today showing off the new track work, hope you all enjoy. Thanks for the continued support and feel free to ask any questions you may have. Next up is the return to the station! (180 points, 23 comments)
    7. When you can’t ride rollercoasters, build one. Quarantine coaster build day one, the station (a very wonky station) (171 points, 9 comments)
    8. Quarantine Coaster Day Four: Taking into account all your help I’ve come up with a new system for smoothing the track, as well as lining it to reduce friction! Excuse the janky supports, they’ll be fixed soon too. (89 points, 26 comments)
    9. Quarantine Coaster Day 9: Following some extremely dodgy arrow-esque transitions the final helix is half way complete. And don’t worry about the distance left, there are going to be brakes and a transport section. (88 points, 13 comments)
    10. Quarantine Coaster build day two: the lift hill. Getting my coaster fix whilst stuck inside! (69 points, 10 comments)
  4. 1672 points, 5 submissions: JoPro_
    1. A treat for you all during the park closures: rare look at Journey to Atlantis Orlando's drop during a track walk. (642 points, 42 comments)
    2. Another lights on photo of Journey to Atlantis SeaWorld Orlando for you all to enjoy during quarantine! (542 points, 36 comments)
    3. Final Atlantis pic! An uncommon view of Mako & Kraken from the aqueduct of Atlantis taken during track walk. (318 points, 14 comments)
    4. RIP Iron Gwazi (for now) (159 points, 39 comments)
    5. 2020 Coaster Opening Dates Predictions Game (11 points, 22 comments)
  5. 1458 points, 1 submission: RCJohnny
    1. POV -Custom Model Roller Coaster Built In My Bedroom! (1458 points, 127 comments)
  6. 1394 points, 10 submissions: TGE
    1. Today is March 25th. HAPPY FURY 325 DAY! (455 points, 17 comments)
    2. Looks good, feels better. 69ft of White Lightning (233 points, 53 comments)
    3. Florida's native Hurricane! The front row's pop of air into this turnaround is a joy. (164 points, 22 comments)
    4. Alternate angle of Fury 325's famous treble clef (158 points, 3 comments)
    5. Who knows what tomorrow brings, so Mako today count! (112 points, 9 comments)
    6. Manta is vivacious (83 points, 11 comments)
    7. There are few places I'd rather be. Mako💙💜 (59 points, 2 comments)
    8. Copperhead Strike's Stengel dive, featuring airtime like a whippy wave turn. (55 points, 14 comments)
    9. The madness of Iron Gwazi's death roll and stall (44 points, 7 comments)
    10. What is your favorite speed hill? (31 points, 34 comments)
  7. 1314 points, 17 submissions: CoasterLabs
    1. Another day, another model. Finally finishing all the ones I started and never finished. Today: Larson Flying Scooters (374 points, 40 comments)
    2. Since I'm stuck at home I figured I'd try to get the StarFlyer up and running. Been working on it for a few years. (219 points, 28 comments)
    3. Spinning Coaster TEST RUN Had to raise the track another 4cm to make it around. No setting friction to 0 here. (90 points, 14 comments)
    4. The files for this model are now live. Gonna work on a small PLC for it now. (71 points, 4 comments)
    5. Functional Spinning Coaster Model; Day 3: track! I also changed the color scheme to more of a Jules Verne steampunk look and swapped out the lapbars for a nice red. Tell me what you think. 😊 (66 points, 9 comments)
    6. Functional Spinning Coaster; Day 4: Full circuit and rough patches. The track is almost complete, but I'm running into a few issues of binding in a few areas of the track, but sanding helps. Also, yes, those are tiny drive tires and yes they work. 😊 (61 points, 9 comments)
    7. Fully automated Flying Scooters Model Test Run (57 points, 7 comments)
    8. Functional Spinning Coaster Day 5: supports! The lift is a lot easier cause there's no banking, but doing the banked descent will be a bit tricky. I'm also currently having to redo the bogies for a 5th time cause of binding. 😵 (54 points, 2 comments)
    9. Teeny Tiny Top Spin (Posable!) (53 points, 7 comments)
    10. Functional Spinning Coaster Model; Day 2: Cars (50 points, 4 comments)
  8. 1223 points, 6 submissions: cduarte125
    1. Phantom's Revenge @ Kennywood (525 points, 36 comments)
    2. Top Thrill Dragster @ Cedar Point (212 points, 21 comments)
    3. Classic shot of Six Flags Magic Mountain (189 points, 6 comments)
    4. The final turn on Phantom's Revenge @ Kennywood (162 points, 16 comments)
    5. This series of elements is one of B&Ms best maneuvers. Flight Deck @ CGA is a very good invert. (89 points, 16 comments)
    6. Steel Curtain @ Kennywood one year ago. (46 points, 2 comments)
  9. 1124 points, 12 submissions: JamminJay1986
    1. Day 22 - Villain at Geauga Lake/Six Flags Worlds of Adventure (236 points, 28 comments)
    2. Day 21 - Giant Canyon Swing at Glenwood Caverns (157 points, 20 comments)
    3. Day 17 - Lost Coaster of Superstition Mountain at Indiana Beach (143 points, 15 comments)
    4. Day 8 - Ozark Wildcat at Celebration City (105 points, 15 comments)
    5. Day 18 - Intimidator at Carowinds (85 points, 22 comments)
    6. Day 20 - Georgia Cyclone at Six Flags Over Georgia (75 points, 18 comments)
    7. Day 26 - Canobie Corkscrew at Canobie Lake Park (71 points, 15 comments)
    8. Day 24 - Thunderhead at Dollywood (69 points, 18 comments)
    9. Day 25 - Star Jet at Casino Pier (66 points, 9 comments)
    10. Day 15 - Leap the Dips at Lakemont Park (54 points, 12 comments)
  10. 1120 points, 10 submissions: ThemeParkFan2020
    1. IRON GWAZI IS NOW TESTING! (photo by Midway Mayhem) (712 points, 188 comments)
    2. Iron Gwazi continues to progress at an amazing pace, as there's people test riding now! (187 points, 96 comments)
    3. Aerial video of Iron Gwazi testing from Midway Mayhem! (102 points, 29 comments)
    4. What is the first coaster you're riding after all of this is over? (37 points, 90 comments)
    5. Do you have any abnormally-high ranked credits, and if so, what are they? (25 points, 88 comments)
    6. You can travel back in time and visit any park at any point in it's history. Where and when do you go and why? (22 points, 48 comments)
    7. What are some good coasters WITHOUT a ton of inversions or airtime? (16 points, 75 comments)
    8. What are ten parks every roller coaster enthusiast should visit? (10 points, 27 comments)
    9. Busch Gardens Tampa Trip Report (3/15/20) (9 points, 13 comments)
    10. Sooo, I can't be the only one that thinks that BGT will get a clone of BGW's 2021 coaster, right? (0 points, 20 comments)
  11. 1002 points, 9 submissions: collin_k25
    1. Vortex’s old Plot of land :( (255 points, 110 comments)
    2. Orion has LED Strip Like Fury (222 points, 21 comments)
    3. Now That's A lot Of Damage "Kings Island Vortex" (132 points, 34 comments)
    4. Orion and Vortex’s huge plot of land (103 points, 32 comments)
    5. Third Orion Train is white and great view of Area 72 Construction. (84 points, 7 comments)
    6. Did a little bit of editing on the Orion train from IAAPA (73 points, 2 comments)
    7. 2020 kings island map with Orion and without vortex 😔 source- kicentral , who is it from? idk (64 points, 25 comments)
    8. Orions 2nd train color. (38 points, 11 comments)
    9. Orion Lighting? (Kings Island) (31 points, 6 comments)
  12. 958 points, 2 submissions: blockbrakes
    1. Fury 325 in colored pencil! (746 points, 60 comments)
    2. Thunderbird! (Redrawn from an older warm up drawing) (212 points, 12 comments)
  13. 899 points, 5 submissions: RrevinEvann
    1. Gotta love a classic Arrow looper! (352 points, 56 comments)
    2. If a B&M cycles in the forest with no one around, does it make a sound? (278 points, 25 comments)
    3. Six Flags has sent out an email concerning COVID-19. So far, it sounds like the parks will remain open, with increased sanitation at the parks (177 points, 61 comments)
    4. Six Flags pushed a survey today to see what the public thinks they should do at the parks to keep everyone safe (59 points, 18 comments)
    5. SFGAm removed their preview weekend from April 10th to 12th on the calendar (33 points, 1 comment)
  14. 888 points, 5 submissions: ZoniesCoasters
    1. Got my 100th cred today on Texas Stingray along with my friend getting to 200! (490 points, 74 comments)
    2. EF-1 tornado very close to Six Flags Over Texas June 16th, 2019. (278 points, 31 comments)
    3. Found an old premier rides press packet. Might share the contents later (53 points, 12 comments)
    4. Strange double flange on Mr. Freeze at SFOT (36 points, 11 comments)
    5. I show you everything in my Premier Rides Press kit (31 points, 0 comments)
  15. 834 points, 10 submissions: RedSoxCeltics
    1. I love the station for Superman:Escape From Krypton (254 points, 17 comments)
    2. Tatsuu's preztel loop : only time ive ever blacked out on a coaster (155 points, 26 comments)
    3. I love the sign for Goliath! (91 points, 25 comments)
    4. I might get a ton of hate, but this my all time favorite coaster. (87 points, 60 comments)
    5. Lex Luthor: Drop of Doom is my favorite drop ride. (58 points, 22 comments)
    6. I miss this place so bad (56 points, 9 comments)
    7. Coaster withdrawals are killing me so here is a picture of SFMM's coaster skyline. (44 points, 1 comment)
    8. Full Throttle's loop (41 points, 18 comments)
    9. Horribl e picture but I love Riddler's Revenge (35 points, 3 comments)
    10. When will we see a coaster break the 200 mph barrier? (13 points, 15 comments)
  16. 795 points, 2 submissions: JFells
    1. Simplified version of my Fury 325 artwork! (422 points, 16 comments)
    2. Today I'm working on a masterpiece... (373 points, 33 comments)
  17. 786 points, 2 submissions: CLE_CoasterCo
    1. Possessed @ Dorney. 1:120 Scale (498 points, 49 comments)
    2. Intamin track getting an extra bake under the UV light (288 points, 15 comments)
  18. 777 points, 6 submissions: poland626
    1. Low Clouds over Kingda Ka (558 points, 33 comments)
    2. My Favorite Small Coaster No Long Standing, Crossbow from Bowcraft, NJ (112 points, 13 comments)
    3. American Dream just announced they will be closing and extending already purchased tickets (48 points, 13 comments)
    4. Great White at Morey's Piers, NJ (26 points, 2 comments)
    5. Anyone else ride the Wild Cat at Keansburg in NJ? (23 points, 4 comments)
    6. Where I found my love of roller coasters, stuck inside so I did a rewatch of 3 Ninjas High Noon At Mega Mountain (10 points, 11 comments)
  19. 773 points, 5 submissions: JCoaster25
    1. Loving watching Kumba rip through its cobra roll. (433 points, 25 comments)
    2. Kings Island can have some gorgeous sunsets. (127 points, 7 comments)
    3. Current state of Mind Bender - SFOG. Happy opening weekend! (116 points, 43 comments)
    4. Closing out a Cedar Point day with a Frontier Town sunset. Late summer 2018. (Ft. Maverick and Steel Vengeance) (61 points, 4 comments)
    5. Stumbled upon this great video of a brand new Raging Wolf Bobs at Geauga Lake circa 1988. Includes a bonus POV of Big Dipper at the end. (36 points, 6 comments)

Top Commenters

  1. a_magumba (2462 points, 673 comments)
  2. friendofjudy (1662 points, 348 comments)
  3. sonimatic14 (1568 points, 208 comments)
  4. brain0924 (1399 points, 191 comments)
  5. CheesecakeMilitia (1220 points, 151 comments)
  6. JamminJay1986 (1212 points, 178 comments)
  7. Tribefan1029 (895 points, 144 comments)
  8. SignGuy77 (882 points, 183 comments)
  9. dirkdiggler1992 (771 points, 98 comments)
  10. TheBokaBreeze (704 points, 416 comments)
  11. laserdollars420 (677 points, 95 comments)
  12. jhoosteen (659 points, 71 comments)
  13. fahrenheit1221 (607 points, 60 comments)
  14. rdthraw (602 points, 92 comments)
  15. bobkmertz (589 points, 97 comments)
  16. collin_k25 (577 points, 66 comments)
  17. nyargleblargle (550 points, 96 comments)
  18. Qrispy_ (543 points, 73 comments)
  19. CrimsonEnigma (533 points, 72 comments)
  20. Dt2_0 (506 points, 183 comments)
  21. provoaggie (494 points, 108 comments)
  22. robbycough (493 points, 149 comments)
  23. flyingdrums (476 points, 27 comments)
  24. GatorAndrew (460 points, 57 comments)
  25. Dynamiccoastersx2 (447 points, 92 comments)
  26. Purple_and_Pancakes (444 points, 92 comments)
  27. vespinonl (440 points, 135 comments)
  28. waifive (430 points, 76 comments)
  29. ThrillTraveler (425 points, 177 comments)
  30. ThemeParkFan2020 (424 points, 39 comments)
  31. MrBrightside711 (416 points, 73 comments)
  32. TGE (413 points, 64 comments)
  33. JCoaster25 (410 points, 72 comments)
  34. aerosoul98 (404 points, 104 comments)
  35. Millennium1995 (403 points, 48 comments)
  36. CoasterLabs (394 points, 110 comments)
  37. Conor_CBG (394 points, 28 comments)
  38. 14thCluelessbird (382 points, 71 comments)
  39. T-Pose-On-Tantrum (375 points, 74 comments)
  40. BBToast (374 points, 64 comments)
  41. RenoWolf200 (367 points, 66 comments)
  42. Zaiush (364 points, 63 comments)
  43. Coasterglitch (356 points, 99 comments)
  44. fount3 (353 points, 47 comments)
  45. Holiboy2112 (342 points, 23 comments)
  46. railfan_andrew (339 points, 41 comments)
  47. randy_25 (328 points, 108 comments)
  48. CaptainPickle23 (326 points, 145 comments)
  49. fedoraman59 (324 points, 69 comments)
  50. ANaturalSicknes (323 points, 90 comments)
  51. robertgrayson (323 points, 71 comments)
  52. RrevinEvann (318 points, 41 comments)
  53. supkarma (311 points, 33 comments)
  54. CanobieCoaster (307 points, 56 comments)
  55. iwassayingboourns12 (303 points, 71 comments)
  56. WitheredTechnology (297 points, 10 comments)
  57. vekomatjex (296 points, 66 comments)
  58. svendust99 (294 points, 71 comments)
  59. ArrowDynamics2002 (293 points, 54 comments)
  60. Elementerch (290 points, 35 comments)
  61. mcchanical (287 points, 60 comments)
  62. Bi0Sp4rk (275 points, 53 comments)
  63. alg0r1thim (275 points, 53 comments)
  64. Imaginos64 (263 points, 33 comments)
  65. Chayz211 (262 points, 48 comments)
  66. NotANormalFieldTrip (257 points, 50 comments)
  67. Bumblebe5 (255 points, 131 comments)
  68. cmorgan9486377 (249 points, 49 comments)
  69. ZoniesCoasters (248 points, 56 comments)
  70. freddy_gruner (248 points, 26 comments)
  71. joeyg107 (245 points, 70 comments)
  72. 1000evan (245 points, 45 comments)
  73. RCJohnny (238 points, 27 comments)
  74. thedeathmachine (236 points, 59 comments)
  75. fastal_12147 (236 points, 21 comments)
  76. matthias7600 (232 points, 84 comments)
  77. _scott_m_ (230 points, 20 comments)
  78. FlyRobot (229 points, 72 comments)
  79. disownedpear (229 points, 49 comments)
  80. CrusaderOfDarkness (227 points, 44 comments)
  81. gettinchippywitit (224 points, 27 comments)
  82. Theme_Park_Critic (222 points, 57 comments)
  83. karanut (219 points, 33 comments)
  84. Unhappy_Score (211 points, 47 comments)
  85. kiloPascal-a (211 points, 33 comments)
  86. Lrod73 (209 points, 37 comments)
  87. _trollercoaster_ (209 points, 22 comments)
  88. C_Smallegan (208 points, 45 comments)
  89. coasterchodes (201 points, 31 comments)
  90. Bloggercoaster (200 points, 48 comments)
  91. Ceramicrabbit (200 points, 43 comments)
  92. wboyajian (198 points, 18 comments)
  93. HnMn999 (197 points, 19 comments)
  94. stanton1270 (195 points, 93 comments)
  95. DafoeFoSho (193 points, 18 comments)
  96. Steel_Nole (192 points, 56 comments)
  97. twatchops (191 points, 34 comments)
  98. 101gabed (191 points, 22 comments)
  99. Ben43065 (191 points, 21 comments)
  100. HauteConversion (188 points, 12 comments)
  101. thor615 (187 points, 33 comments)
  102. Version_1 (183 points, 34 comments)
  103. Tremic (183 points, 3 comments)
  104. AtomicChef (181 points, 13 comments)
  105. Andy_and_Vic (179 points, 55 comments)
  106. John-with-a-k (176 points, 37 comments)
  107. SizzleMop69 (171 points, 42 comments)
  108. Swift747 (170 points, 43 comments)
  109. The_DILinator (168 points, 54 comments)
  110. stopmakingsens3 (167 points, 33 comments)
  111. StraightAssociate (165 points, 34 comments)
  112. ImperatorSpacewolf (165 points, 18 comments)
  113. lizzpop2003 (163 points, 33 comments)
  114. ozthrills (162 points, 35 comments)
  115. RollerCoasterCartel (161 points, 32 comments)
  116. ctrum69 (161 points, 29 comments)
  117. fishely (159 points, 24 comments)
  118. EricGarbo (159 points, 13 comments)
  119. donkey_tits (156 points, 34 comments)
  120. barc_15 (155 points, 25 comments)
  121. bttrflyr (154 points, 14 comments)
  122. panopticon31 (153 points, 23 comments)
  123. magicweasel7 (150 points, 20 comments)
  124. Dadplscomebackim18 (148 points, 44 comments)
  125. sheeple04 (148 points, 41 comments)
  126. tallerthanusual (148 points, 24 comments)
  127. HikeandKayak (148 points, 22 comments)
  128. OdoWanKenobi (147 points, 29 comments)
  129. stormrunnerer (146 points, 45 comments)
  130. the_pantsmith (145 points, 32 comments)
  131. Franky29x (144 points, 24 comments)
  132. PolarCoaster_ (142 points, 31 comments)
  133. CurbYourNewUrbanism (141 points, 14 comments)
  134. davethefish (140 points, 8 comments)
  135. trainman121 (138 points, 24 comments)
  136. orngbrry (137 points, 46 comments)
  137. Scientist78 (137 points, 36 comments)
  138. CoasterThomason (135 points, 34 comments)
  139. TheGP13 (135 points, 31 comments)
  140. Heyohmydoohd (135 points, 23 comments)
  141. AirbossYT (135 points, 9 comments)
  142. jackbyrnetv74 (134 points, 51 comments)
  143. nice-scores (133 points, 133 comments)
  144. BigMothInDaHouse (133 points, 7 comments)
  145. sandmyth (131 points, 29 comments)
  146. cactus22minus1 (130 points, 22 comments)
  147. Valleyfairfanboy (129 points, 49 comments)
  148. CYB3R_TYSTYS (129 points, 38 comments)
  149. DessertTwink (129 points, 28 comments)
  150. Gnucks33 (129 points, 24 comments)
  151. crs18Gamer (128 points, 36 comments)
  152. coastercupcakeYT1 (128 points, 21 comments)
  153. i-am-red-w (127 points, 46 comments)
  154. ModsRussianFcks (127 points, 29 comments)
  155. IsuzuTrooper (125 points, 38 comments)
  156. iFanatic (125 points, 26 comments)
  157. tofusnafu (125 points, 19 comments)
  158. tideblue (124 points, 32 comments)
  159. wjw42 (124 points, 26 comments)
  160. TheInsaneLavaman (124 points, 25 comments)
  161. yawetag12 (124 points, 11 comments)
  162. WestLAStuff (122 points, 22 comments)
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  165. Professor_Media (121 points, 24 comments)
  166. BucsandCanes (121 points, 23 comments)
  167. petuniabubbles (120 points, 55 comments)
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  170. amanor409 (120 points, 8 comments)
  171. X7123M3-256 (118 points, 24 comments)
  172. Acrobaticfrog (117 points, 33 comments)
  173. Gwanzi (117 points, 16 comments)
  174. mynameiskrysta (117 points, 16 comments)
  175. MidwestInfoGuide (115 points, 37 comments)
  176. CHR0T0 (115 points, 14 comments)
  177. TDChrisGO (115 points, 9 comments)
  178. EmilSempels (114 points, 29 comments)
  179. Taeshan (114 points, 28 comments)
  180. ChewyChicken13 (113 points, 14 comments)
  181. 705505 (112 points, 27 comments)
  182. Hot_Moment (111 points, 34 comments)
  183. CoasterKat95 (111 points, 23 comments)
  184. -k1guy- (111 points, 6 comments)
  185. WotDaHelll (110 points, 39 comments)
  186. ChristopherJ2003 (109 points, 25 comments)
  187. Swiftman (109 points, 11 comments)
  188. galaxy-boi_02 (108 points, 40 comments)
  189. spiderqueendemon (108 points, 20 comments)
  190. Surgawd8 (108 points, 13 comments)
  191. NeverTrumper2020 (108 points, 12 comments)
  192. CoasterVic58 (107 points, 50 comments)
  193. MrReality13 (107 points, 24 comments)
  194. sledgehammer_77 (107 points, 20 comments)
  195. MillenniumForce (106 points, 21 comments)
  196. BadCommandCo_ (106 points, 18 comments)
  197. beregond23 (105 points, 30 comments)
  198. JustAGuyNamedSteven (104 points, 31 comments)
  199. sawdummy (104 points, 13 comments)
  200. TurboGwa2i (104 points, 10 comments)
  201. ifitscool (103 points, 7 comments)
  202. Hammock180 (102 points, 26 comments)
  203. Needabiggercoaster (102 points, 19 comments)
  204. Silver013 (102 points, 5 comments)
  205. ill_tonkso (101 points, 26 comments)
  206. codee66 (101 points, 22 comments)
  207. Nuud (101 points, 20 comments)
  208. awkwardimagineer (101 points, 18 comments)
  209. ZachEllis3 (100 points, 22 comments)
  210. S100hedake (100 points, 15 comments)
  211. WellDamnJacqui (100 points, 13 comments)
  212. condogdaddy69 (100 points, 4 comments)
  213. A_BAD_REDDITEER (99 points, 21 comments)
  214. SuperManlyDude (98 points, 24 comments)
  215. ohmygoddude82 (98 points, 11 comments)
  216. BlitheringEediot (97 points, 30 comments)
  217. Ampu-Tina (97 points, 26 comments)
  218. Majorkilljoy87 (97 points, 20 comments)
  219. Technically_Can_Hear (97 points, 4 comments)
  220. aqua_supreme (97 points, 2 comments)
  221. Maverick360 (96 points, 16 comments)
  222. N-427 (95 points, 14 comments)
  223. Cabana (94 points, 25 comments)
  224. corndogshuffle (94 points, 23 comments)
  225. tylerokay (93 points, 14 comments)
  226. williamconniff (93 points, 9 comments)
  227. Absol1te (92 points, 46 comments)
  228. BB5Bucks (92 points, 33 comments)
  229. TPI2019 (92 points, 28 comments)
  230. GigaG (91 points, 18 comments)
  231. Mooco2 (91 points, 16 comments)
  232. Jakinator178 (90 points, 21 comments)
  233. calebkeithley (90 points, 14 comments)
  234. themeparkjunkie98 (90 points, 12 comments)
  235. Purchased_mods (89 points, 12 comments)
  236. Thunderbird23 (88 points, 47 comments)
  237. _SWX_ (87 points, 33 comments)
  238. SMF1834 (87 points, 26 comments)
  239. ImNotBeyonce (87 points, 6 comments)
  240. 389Tman389 (86 points, 34 comments)
  241. crazydiamnd76 (86 points, 28 comments)
  242. CommonMilkweed (86 points, 22 comments)
  243. darkmachine415 (86 points, 17 comments)
  244. Fbastard3 (86 points, 7 comments)
  245. GUlysses (85 points, 12 comments)
  246. a-can-o-beans (85 points, 9 comments)
  247. reallyweirdperson (84 points, 19 comments)
  248. ScottDaySucks (84 points, 9 comments)
  249. Saeis (83 points, 31 comments)
  250. frankvlin (83 points, 29 comments)
  251. qtip-pitq (83 points, 6 comments)
  252. LegitXero (82 points, 15 comments)
  253. InvisibleTeeth (81 points, 24 comments)
  254. mn84wm33 (81 points, 9 comments)
  255. lostinheadguy (80 points, 10 comments)
  256. frito11 (79 points, 17 comments)
  257. nkbvr (79 points, 16 comments)
  258. OscarsWackyThrowaway (79 points, 4 comments)
  259. Artificial100 (79 points, 2 comments)
  260. oryp35 (78 points, 44 comments)
  261. Gutnis (78 points, 26 comments)
  262. tomgabriele (78 points, 10 comments)
  263. AGoodEnoughUsername (78 points, 9 comments)
  264. SlayerNb (77 points, 21 comments)
  265. SharpReel (77 points, 14 comments)
  266. sutadarkside (77 points, 7 comments)
  267. yoshizbt (76 points, 44 comments)
  268. Seasons-Of-Wither (76 points, 17 comments)
  269. IhaveSonar (76 points, 16 comments)
  270. cpshoeler (76 points, 11 comments)
  271. stoned_by_sunset (76 points, 8 comments)
  272. BlitzenVolt (75 points, 30 comments)
  273. redveinlover (75 points, 22 comments)
  274. spacemtfan (75 points, 18 comments)
  275. throwawaycoasterguy (75 points, 6 comments)
  276. Swiss_Reddit_User (74 points, 18 comments)
  277. ATomRT (74 points, 15 comments)
  278. Spartan117Rex (74 points, 13 comments)
  279. sloec (74 points, 5 comments)
  280. Fabian_XYZ (73 points, 30 comments)
  281. teejayiscool (73 points, 29 comments)
  282. PolandSpring39 (73 points, 26 comments)
  283. SwissForeignPolicy (73 points, 21 comments)
  284. flyinghiiiiiiigh (73 points, 20 comments)
  285. WernerHengstenberg (73 points, 9 comments)
  286. Carlscorn (72 points, 21 comments)
  287. JaxerGaming (72 points, 18 comments)
  288. Jamak2001 (72 points, 16 comments)
  289. chris84bond (72 points, 8 comments)
  290. CleanEggs-n-Flams (72 points, 3 comments)
  291. TriableNine (71 points, 34 comments)
  292. Brut-i-cus (71 points, 11 comments)
  293. sweg420blaze420 (71 points, 6 comments)
  294. Moobles18 (70 points, 14 comments)
  295. harry_s_24 (69 points, 10 comments)
  296. reissecup (69 points, 10 comments)
  297. BRS_Dead_Master (69 points, 4 comments)
  298. angry-gumball (68 points, 20 comments)
  299. iiTsDANGER (68 points, 13 comments)
  300. CoasterShots (68 points, 10 comments)

Top Submissions

  1. POV -Custom Model Roller Coaster Built In My Bedroom! by RCJohnny (1458 points, 127 comments)
  2. Anyone else collect nanocoasters? by RollerCoasterCartel (757 points, 148 comments)
  3. Fury 325 in colored pencil! by blockbrakes (746 points, 60 comments)
  4. IRON GWAZI IS NOW TESTING! (photo by Midway Mayhem) by ThemeParkFan2020 (712 points, 188 comments)
  5. A treat for you all during the park closures: rare look at Journey to Atlantis Orlando's drop during a track walk. by JoPro_ (642 points, 42 comments)
  6. Well, this is awkward... by tylerokay (639 points, 75 comments)
  7. Cedar Point Sunrise via @cityofsandusky on Twitter by ballsonthewall (593 points, 32 comments)
  8. Low Clouds over Kingda Ka by poland626 (558 points, 33 comments)
  9. Iron Gwazi Weekly(ish) Aerial Update: March 11th, 2020 - The Final Photo by flyingdrums (556 points, 71 comments)
  10. My daily cuarantine drawing! Today I bring you a crazy concept: do you remember "Loop the loop" at Coney Island in 1910? Well, what if instead of a loop it had been built a cobra-roll with a launched by slingshot system powered by steam and a water-pool brakes? Would you like to give a try? by Bloggercoaster (545 points, 45 comments)

Top Comments

  1. 248 points: WitheredTechnology's comment in Well, this is awkward...
  2. 171 points: flyingdrums's comment in Iron Gwazi Weekly(ish) Aerial Update: March 11th, 2020 - The Final Photo
  3. 136 points: sonimatic14's comment in I don’t care if people say “this isn’t a coaster”, in these times of lockdown I’ll take any credit I can find. This is the only one that is currently operating (tomorrow it will also be locked down) and we drove 137km/85mi/1h 35m to ride it 10 times. My daughter’s 157th credit btw.
  4. 135 points: Millennium1995's comment in POV -Custom Model Roller Coaster Built In My Bedroom!
  5. 123 points: BigMothInDaHouse's comment in My daily cuarantine drawing! Today I bring you a crazy concept: do you remember "Loop the loop" at Coney Island in 1910? Well, what if instead of a loop it had been built a cobra-roll with a launched by slingshot system powered by steam and a water-pool brakes? Would you like to give a try?
  6. 119 points: AtomicChef's comment in Emperor is testing!! (Credit: SeaWorld San Diego)
  7. 116 points: Tremic's comment in IRON GWAZI IS NOW TESTING! (photo by Midway Mayhem)
  8. 100 points: RCJohnny's comment in POV -Custom Model Roller Coaster Built In My Bedroom!
  9. 100 points: friendofjudy's comment in Anyone else collect nanocoasters?
  10. 95 points: aqua_supreme's comment in IRON GWAZI IS NOW TESTING! (photo by Midway Mayhem)
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Coaster Christmas in the Smokies - Episode 2 of 3

This is a video tutorial to show you all how to pick open a lock by creating lock picking tools made from paper clip. This life hack is so easy to do and wor... These are our top 10 beginner RV mistakes! We're almost to our year mark with full time RV living and you better believe we've made some mistakes. We're givi... Logan from Koaster Kids and Taylor from Coaster Studios hosted a coaster enthusiast meet-up event at Dollywood called Coaster Christmas in the Smokies! Everyone had a great time and we all created ... Where do you find Coin Pusher that PAY REAL MONEY Near You? I list places to find out, and tips when looking for Money Coin Pushers!Sunday April 2 come check... Its been almost a year since the last Q&A, and after reaching 25,000 subscribers, I decided it was about time for another one! You guys sent in tons of quest... This video is a tour of my SECOND Planet Coaster amusement park. CORSICA PARK. This is a LONG VIDEO!!!! Two hours long. There's a lot to show here. ----- The park has 15 roller coasters and plenty ... Find out why Close. INSANE HOUSECADE! - ARCADE HOUSE - Horror, pinball machines, and classic arcade video games! John's Arcade Game Reviews & Tech. Loading... Unsubscribe from John's Arcade Game ... Fourteen resorts along the Las Vegas Strip will close temporarily, effective Tuesday, as the impact of the coronavirus on daily life significantly expands.RE... Cleveland.com is the premier news and information website in the state of Ohio, providing 24/7 news and information to inform, engage and entertain readers. New? Please SUBSCRIBE for more fishing videos as my channel just started in 2018! https://www.youtube.com/FishingWithNordbye (Turn on 🔔) BECOME A PATRON: ht...

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